Dreaming Ever the Wild
by for you to notice
Summary: What if it took Seth a little longer to come home than they all expected?
1. Eventually

_None of it's mine. Peace and love..._

She gave up missing him a while ago. It wasn't something had wanted to do, it was just eventual. Summer couldn't keep longing for something that she could never have again. And she had moved on from that particular year in her life. After a while, once her father and step mother packed up their suitcases and announced they were moving to Barbados, she had moved into the Cohens' pool house. They were her family in some weird way and she knew what it was like to be Ryan. At first, she had been hesitant to bring her problems into their lives, but they seemed to welcome someone to take care of. Their boys had all left. She reminded them of a daughter and started a new chapter in their lives. Her own too. So she had no reason to dream of the things so impossible. She had more important things in her life anyway.

He had had his kid and stayed where he was as long as possible. After a while, when he still wasn't back, Ryan had started to worry about Kirsten. There were things more important than his goddamn ego. So he had picked up his daughter from day care and told Theresa he had to go back. Jennifer Dawn was already three. Theresa had understood; she even offered to let him bring Jenn with him. So the only thing he had to be scared of was a forty eight minute car drive with a female toddler. He had spent a month back home as he liked to say, when he got a call that said Theresa had run without a note. Suddenly, taking care of Kirsten and Sandy was second to taking care of Jenn alone. The good news just kept piling in. Ryan forgot the impossible a while ago, and now dreamt of only the practical.

But he came back. Like he said he would, but only to Summer. His parents had gotten an 'I love you guys' letter 'don't worry about me.' Summer got an 'I'll be back' letter 'don't forget me.'  And he came back.

After a few too many prostitutes and kegs of beer, he had realized what rock bottom was. Seth had tried to do the whole 'get married' thing, but no girl was what he wanted. Probably because there weren't many Summers in Rontuma. He found a few Marissas, too many Hollys, but no Summers. He needed a Summer. One who knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to tell him. Hot as hell helped too. But once he realized he wasn't going to find that, it had been three years. He couldn't just come back after three years. They wouldn't forgive him. They'd be different people.

But Fiji and Samoa and Tonga got boring fast. Especially when the only people that cared about you at all were across a whole fucking ocean. Not that they should care about him anymore. He sure as hell didn't. But he couldn't stay in the Pacific forever. He was twenty five. Twenty five year olds didn't sail away from their families for nine years. At least twenty five year olds like him. So he had to go back. He knew he would eventually, but it still scared the hell out of him.

Newport was unsurprising the same. It was at least a little comforting. When he saw his street, though, his house seemed so far away. So different. There was also the chance that his parents didn't live there anymore. So he traveled so many miles to go to the park at the end of his old street. He had shaved, showered, all of that, to sit on a swing that he hadn't seen in ten years. Suddenly his life was that much sadder.

He kicked off his shoes and pushed off from the sand. He swayed lightly back and forth as a little kid sat on the swing next to him. His eyes were green and looked dramatic next to his dark brown hair. He watched Seth roll his head to one side and hit the chain on the swing. He watched him play with the chains and roll his jeans up. After a while, Seth started watching the kid too. His eyes seemed to light up after Seth gave him notice.

"What's your name?"

"Where's your mom, kid?"

"My name isn't kid. It's Seth."

That got his attention. Seth turned his head to the kid with green eyes and scrunched up his brow.

"Yeah? You like it?"

"Not really. It's kind of sissy."

"So I've heard."

"My mom tells me it's important though. I shouldn't make fun of it."

"But the kids do at school?"

"The kids at school don't call me Seth. Only my mom and Grandmom. Not even my granddad. He says it's stupid too."

"Yeah? What do the kids at school call you?"

"Chris. It's my middle name."

"Yeah?"

He nodded and looked back into Seth's eyes. It was a little intimidating.

"So what's _your_ name?"

"We really should find your mom."

"She's here somewhere. She said she had to go for a run, so I should stay here?"

"She ever tell you not to talk to strangers?"

He nodded again.

"But you looked sad. Are you sad?"

"Uh, a little, I guess, Seth." Damn, that was weird.

The kid shook his head.

"I told you. Only my mom and my Grandmom can call me that. I'm Chris. My mom only calls me that when she's mad anyway. But she always seems to get sad instead of mad."

"Sorry. Chris."

"It's okay. Why are you sad?"

"I miss my mom."

"Where is she?"

"I'm not sure."

"I hope you find her."

"Thanks."

"That's the reason you look so sad? You miss your mom?"

"And I guess I'm kind of lost. And I miss my girlfriend. Well, I mean, she's not my girlfriend anymore. But I miss her too."

"Is she pretty?"

Seth nodded.

"Very pretty."

"I hope you find her too."

"Thank you."

"I could help you look for her. Did she go for a run too?"

"I don't know."

"But if you like her so much, shouldn't you know where she is?"

"I sure wish I did, kid."

"Chris. We're friends now."

"Okay."

"So I should know your name if we're friends."

"It's, uh, Seth."

"_No_ way."

"Uh, yeah. Way."

"Did your mom name you that because she loves Seth too?"

"What?"

"That's what Grandmom says. She says my mom really loved Seth and she misses him. So I should..."

"Seth Christopher. I thought I told you that you shouldn't talk to strangers."

"Hi Mom. This is my friend. He's not a stranger."

She ran up just as he realized who she was. Not that he didn't think he knew who Mom was since he had heard the kid's name. She was wearing a white tee shirt with a low V neck and gray shorts folded over a few times at the top. And she was still beautiful. Suddenly, he didn't know if he should hide his face or hug her. She didn't seem to notice at all.

"Uh, thanks, sir. I'm, uh, sorry if he was bothering you."

"His name isn't sir, Mommy. Guess what his name is!"

She sighed and pushed the hair out of her face.

"What is it, honey?"

"Seth. Just like me."

"Really? That's, uh...nice, honey. Could you go in the sandbox while I talk to him?"

"Yeah, okay. Bye, Seth."

He said the name with a huge grin on his face, and Seth gently tossed up a hand with his head still looking at the ground. The kid grinned as he ran away to the sandbox. As soon as he was out of earshot, Summer Roberts smacked his arm and stuck out her finger.

"If you laid a single finger on him, I swear I can't be held accountable for what happens to you. And believe me, _sir_, when I'm mad, I get mad."

"Yeah, rage blackouts, right?"

"That's r...what?"

He lifted his head to look at her and as soon as she saw his eyes, she fell to her knees, putting herself at eyelevel with him.

"Seth?"

"It's been a while, huh?"

She threw her arms around him and suddenly it felt like nothing had changed. Her small body was pressed against his like he had dreamed about for nine years. Her hair smelled the same and her arms still used the same moisturizer.

"You're-you're here. Talking to Chris. You're _here_."

"Uh, yeah."

"Have you-have you seen Kirsten?"

Seth shook his head. Summer nodded.

"So, you just show up and pick out my kid in a park and strike up a conversation."

"_He_ talked to _me_."

"Yeah, well, he doesn't stop talking. That's not his fault. You don't-you don't just ignore him?"

"It's not my fault either."

"Cute. So why-why did you..."

"It was time."

"And why wasn't it time nine years ago?"

"I don't know. It just never worked out."

"But now you just come back."

"I don't know how back I actually am."

"So you're leaving again."

"No. Well, I mean, maybe. I just don't know where to."

"Oh."

"Mommy, see! I told you he was nice."

Summer pulled away from the hug she had been waiting nine years for to see her son's smile wider than before, walking over to the two of them.

"Uh, yeah, um, honey. But I don't want you to do this again. No more conversations with people you don't know."

"Sorry. But he's nice, right?" Chris's grin found a way to extend.

"He's nice." Summer nodded slowly.

"We should make him food. He's lost and doesn't know where his mom is."

"Yeah, um, I mean, if he wants to come back to see Sandy and Kirsten."

"You live with them?" Seth's face popped back up at the mention of his parents.

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"A while. When Neil and Lara moved out, and I really didn't feel like going with them, you know, I needed a place to stay."

Seth nodded and stood up.

"Let's do this."

Summer stood up and took Chris's hand. She glanced back at Seth and they walked down the street together. They stopped at the gate and Seth took it in. It looked exactly the same. Summer pulled open the gate and took Seth's hand too. He looked down at her small hand in his callused one and looked back up at her. She nodded and started walking up the driveway.

"So, um, wouldn't the hand thing bother your husband?"

Summer shook her head.

"I'm not married."

"Chris's father?"

She laughed gently.

"Yeah, well, I don't think they make binoculars big enough for that. He lives in...well, I'm not sure it is this week."

"Who is he? Or is that crossing the..."

"Luke."

"L-L-Luke? As in Ward?"

Summer nodded quietly as they got up to the front door.

"You slept with Luke Ward?"

"Seth! Shut. Up. Seven year old, right there."

"Luke Ward?"

"It wasn't like I wanted to."

"Oh yeah. Those kind of accidents happen all the time."

"Why do you care? How many girls did _you_ sleep with?"

Chris was standing in between them, turning his head to whoever felt like raising their voice. Summer seemed to have forgotten he was there.

"That is not relevant. What about Marissa?"

"Marissa's married. She can get over it. Actually, she did. Because _that_ was eight years ago."

"Oh, you waited a whole year for me. Thanks. Really, I appreciate it."

"God, Seth, you were the one who left! You were gone."

"For a year."

"A year became five and that became nine."

"You didn't know that."

"You want me to say I missed you? You want me to say I goddamn cried my eyes out every single Valentine's Day for nine years? You want me to say I still thought about you nearly a decade later? Do you want that?"

"No."

"Then, what is it, Seth? Why are you blaming me for something you did? That whole thing with Luke was a mistake that lasted a week. But even though he tours North America, he still calls. He doesn't know where he'll be sleeping that night, but he finds a way to call Chris every single Friday. You? I don't even get a fucking postcard."

"Mom! You said the f word."

Her son's voice seemed to bring Summer back into the world that surrounded her now and she knelt in front of him.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean to."

"Are you mad, Mom?"

"No. I'm not mad."

"Then why are you yelling?"

"I'm emotional, honey."

"Did Seth make you emotional, Mommy?"

"No, sweetie, it's okay."

"Can we go see Grandmom now?"

"Yeah, honey. If Seth's ready."

She looked back up at Seth who nodded. She smiled back at Chris.

"Okay, we're going, babe."

She took Chris's hand again and opened the door. Chris ran inside and into the kitchen. Summer walked in and Seth followed her. They stood in the front hall. Seth bit his lip and murmured gently into her ear, "It wasn't like I didn't want to."

She nodded. "I know."

Seth shook his head and turned her face to look at him. "You don't know half of it. You don't know how many letters I started. You don't know how many quarters shot out the Press Here For Change button thing from calls I was too afraid to dial. You don't know how I got through nine years without you."

He pulled out his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans and pulled something out from one of the only pockets. He gave it to her and she looked down at it. It was a photograph from the party for Riviera magazine. They had had a photographer take pictures of everyone, and somehow Seth had gotten a copy of the one with his arms around her waist and her head on his chest. She was basically laughing and he had the biggest smile on his face.

Summer bit her lip and shook her head.

"I _hate_ that dress. I look like Minnie Mouse."

Seth laughed and that got her to laugh too. It was real, too. He loved watching her laugh. She laughed exactly the same. Seth's head turned instantly, however, when he heard his mother's voice.

"Summer? Seth said you brought home a man..."

She looked at his face and dropped the magazine she had been holding. She threw her arms around his shoulders and pressed her face into his shirt.

"Hi, Mom."

"Oh honey, I-I-I...missed you."

"I know, Mom."

"Are you-are you back? Like, forever?"

"I don't know."

"Have you seen your father?"

"I..."

"Sandy!"

"Okay..."

Summer grinned with half her mouth and touched his hand.

"She's excited. Let her be. Her son came home."

He grinned and lightly shook his head. Summer grinned too and thought about kissing him. If it was the same, she knew she would be able to fall back in love with this guy that she had seen for a little more than half an hour. If it wasn't...she'd get to that. But Sandy stalked into the room and looked at Seth with wide eyes.

"You're my son?"

Seth ducked his head and grasped two of Summer's fingers. It was some sort of reflex, because when she looked at him, he was looking straight at his dad. Sandy looked him up and down and hugged him hard. Seth seemed to have not been expecting it, because he just held his arms out in an almost hug. As soon as he let him go, he smacked him against the side of his head.

"Don't you ever do anything close to that. Again. How can you be so stupid?"

"Sandy..." Kirsten lightly touched his arm but Sandy shook his head.

"Do you have any idea what you did to this family? Thank goodness you're safe."

"I know, Dad."

Sandy furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head before hugging Seth one more time.

"We missed you around here. You know, Summer's jokes aren't looking half bad."

Seth grinned and Summer opened her mouth in shock.

"My jokes were _always _funny."

Sandy nodded and clapped his hands together. "Of course. That's what I meant. I gotta go, but..." He looked back up at Seth and nodded. "It's good to see you back, son."

Seth nodded slowly to his dad and smiled weakly. Kirsten was grinning and suddenly got a thought.

"Have you seen Ryan? Oh, he'll be so happy to see you again."

"Isn't he in...Chino?"

"Oh no. He's been back for a few years."

"Oh."

Summer gently leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Don't mention Theresa. He gets even quieter than usual. It's a long story."

He nodded and took Summer's hand to go to the pool house. She shook his head.

"No, he's upstairs. In the old guestroom. He shares it with Jenn."

"Jenn?"

"His daughter."

"Oh."

"Mm-hmm. Let's go."

"Mommy?"

Summer turned around, still holding Seth's hand, and saw her son looking up with confused eyes.

"How do Grandmom and Granddad know him?"

"He's their son, honey."

Chris's eyes grew and he looked back at Seth.

"My grandmom is your lost mom? So are you, like, my uncle?"

Seth looked at Summer and she shrugged. He looked back at Chris and nodded.

"Um, yeah, I guess."

"Like Uncle Ryan?"

Summer nodded. "Like Uncle Ryan."

He seemed to accept that. "Cool."

Summer grinned and nodded again. "Very cool."

The three of them walked up the stairs and Chris took Seth's other hand. He smiled at him and Seth smiled back. Summer knocked on Ryan's door and heard a soft yell.

"Yeah?"

"Ryan, open the door."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"It's open."

Summer leaned forward and pulled the door open. Ryan was lying on his bed with a girl with light brown ringlets lying on top of him. He pulled a finger to his lips and pointed at her.

"Daddy, stop the hand moving. I'm awake."

The girl lifted her head and looked up at him. He curled his head up to look back at her.

"When did you wake up?"

"I never went to sleep."

"Yes, you did."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't."

"I saw you."

"I was faking."

"Why?"

"Because you wanted me to sleep."

"You're so tricky. I was going to leave you alone."

"Daddy, you never leave me alone. But I'm _nine_. You can."

"Uh-huh. I'll think about it."

"No you won't. you just say that and then you never think about it."

"I mean to think about it."

"But you don't _actually_ think about it."

"Sometimes I do."

"Sure."

"Is that sarcasm?"

"Maybe."

"Uh-huh."

He ticked her sides and she shrieked. He pulled her into the air and she laughed louder.

"Daddy!"

She was almost crying she was laughing so hard. Ryan was grinning and starting to laugh himself as he held her high above him. He looked back to Summer.

"What?"

She nodded to Seth standing next to her. Ryan looked at him and dropped the grin and his daughter. She fell hard on his stomach and he let out a sound that sounded like an "oof." He rolled her off of him and stood up.

"Seth, man, it's, uh...it's good to see you."

"Yeah. It's good to see you."

Ryan walked slowly over in his sweatpants and lightly thumped Seth on the back. Summer looked from boy to boy and turned to the little girl.

"Jenn, honey, let's go downstairs. Get something to eat."

"Okay. Bye Daddy."

The nine year old hugged her dad's waist and he mussed her hair without looking at her. She let Summer guide her down the stairs and into the kitchen with Chris. Ryan scratched the back of his neck and offered Seth a small smile.

"So, uh, how long have you been, you know, back?"

"Not long. An hour. Maybe two."

"Yeah?"

"That's your daughter?"

"Oh, Jenn? Yeah. She's-she's a good kid."

"Yeah."

"So, um, how've you been?"

_Please leave a review. Next chapter brings out the drama, I promise. Peace and love..._


	2. Differentiate

_It belongs to FOX. Peace and love..._

It was strangely humbling to see everyone changing and growing up. Everyone's drama seemed to be muffled by changes. Ryan was a different person; nothing Seth could tell himself changed that. It wasn't just that he had grown up, though, he had adapted to a new life. He _was_ a grown up. Not that he hadn't been thirty when they were all sixteen, but Seth had always thought it would've been weird to see him as a dad. But Ryan snuggled into the role as closely as he slept with Jenn whenever she saw a horror movie and couldn't turn off the light. And it made so much sense to see him like that, that Seth couldn't remember what he had been like before.

After an endless bout of his mother's pleading, Seth slept in his old room. They hadn't changed a thing in it. That was the weirdest part. From the Ben Folds Live poster on his back wall, to the documents on his computer, everything was the same. It haunted him, because this life was really a different one. Everything was so different. Except for Summer.

But that was even a lie. While she had found a way to remain dramatic and angry and beyond beautiful, she had to fit herself around being a mother. So she grew softer. She talked a little less and watched a little more. Usually watched him. He'd been back for a little less than three days, and they hadn't gotten more than a minute alone. But she watched him.

As for the kids, Jenn fell in love with him; everyone could see that. She was constantly asking him questions about his vacation, as Kirsten and Ryan firmly called it, and telling him about the boys at her school and the books she was reading. He soaked up every minute of it. She was his niece. Just the word made him feel older. He had a niece. On the second day, when she was still bombarding him with attention, he gave her a shell. He said he had found it on the beach the day before he came back, and he wanted her to have it. She had Ryan push a hook into it and she wore it around her neck. And he loved watching her eyes sparkle when she was talking about a dream she had or the times Ryan would take her to the beach and how he was teaching her how to surf.

Chris was kind of different. Summer assured him that he didn't trust people he didn't know that well and that after a few days he warmed up and then you couldn't get him to shut up. But Seth kept remembering how when he had first met him, the kid wouldn't stop talking. He thought it was probably because he had 'made Mommy emotional.' Chris knew that Summer watched Seth all the time, because he watched her all the time.

Seth woke up on his second morning and got dressed. He supposed that he had changed too, because he wasn't comfortable in his own house. He wouldn't walk downstairs in his pajamas and bathrobe, and he didn't make fun of everyone and everything like he used to love doing. He left a light five o clock shadow on his chin, but didn't let his hair grow out too much. Not that his hair style mattered, but it was true.

He walked down in jeans and a brown tee shirt with his hair already combed and his teeth brushed. He came into the kitchen and smiled at his mom at the counter in her bathroom, a coffee cup firmly in her hand. She walked over and hugged him like she usually did whenever he entered a room, or left a room for that matter.

"Oh honey, would you take Summer out her coffee? She has this interview that she's all scared about, so I know she'll forget it."

"Um, yeah. Sure."

Kirsten handed him another cup and kissed his cheek. He smiled and went out into the sun. The pool house probably won the award for most changed, because Summer had gotten her hands onto it. Chris took half of it, so there were two beds instead of the one big one in the middle. Summer had had the whole thing redone in dramatic blues and purples and pinks. The only thing that remained the same were the curtains, which when you were inside, completely clashed with the whole room. But Summer said she liked it that way.

Seth knocked lightly on the door and it opened into a slit. Chris stood in the middle of it.

"Yeah?"

"Uh, Grandmom thought your mom would want coffee."

Okay, so he really was intimidated by a seven year old.

A voice came from inside the door. "Chris, open the door all the way. Don't be rude."

Chris sighed and pulled the door all the way open to reveal Summer shuffling through dress shirts in her bra. She smiled at Seth and held up a pink button down over a knee length maroon skirt and brown boots.

"Do these match?"

Seth blinked several times and shook his head.

"What?"

"Do they match? Like color and cut and stuff."

"Uh, no idea."

She squinted down at the outfit and shook her head. She put the shirt down and picked up a black one instead. She unbuttoned it and pulled it over her shoulders. She straightened out the cuffs as she walked up to him with a smile on her face.

"So, what's up?"

"Um, right. Mom thought you'd want coffee. And you-you wouldn't think you had time to get it."

"She's probably right."

Summer took the cup from him and threw her head back, just to cough slightly and dip her head back.

"Dang, that's hot."

"You okay, Mom?" Chris touched his mom's arm and she nodded shakily.

"Fine, sweetie."

Summer sipped carefully at the cup and inhaled the steam.

"Thanks."

"Uh yeah. What's the interview thing for?"

"Oh, god, you're going to laugh at me."

He shook his head seriously as she laughed.

"Um, well, I'm kind of a wedding planner."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah. This woman's going to be the end of my life though. She already hates me and I've never spoken to her in person. I think her fiancé likes me though. Him, I have seen in person. So, you know, have to cross my fingers. The guy's gorgeous though, so I have a good feeling that she'll do whatever he tells her."

"Oh. So that's good."

"Yeah, you know."

"But isn't the outfit a little dark for a wedding."

"Yeah, you're right. But I'm meeting her at a big trendy new club thing. So, you know..."

"Actually I don't. Fashion never makes sense."

She laughed and pushed her hair back. Chris looked at Seth with his arms crossed. Summer looked at his stance and laughed again.

"Honey, are you okay?"

He looked back at her and nodded.

"Fine."

"Do you want breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry."

"You have to go to school. It's Monday. Of course you're hungry. Go ask Ryan to make you something."

"Are you sure, Mom?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? Ask him to put some of it in the fridge too, because I'm going to be hungry when I get back."

"Okay, Mom. Good luck with Mrs. Linter."

"She's not Mrs. yet. Stick with Ms."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye sweetie. Give me a kiss."

She bent down and he kissed her cheek obediently. He took another look at Seth before leaving the pool house. Seth watched him go and looked back at Summer.

"Okay, he really doesn't like me."

"I know; it's so weird. Usually he likes everybody."

Seth shook his head and smiled.

"You really do look beautiful, by the way."

"Oh, thanks. That's sweet. You look...like someone I remember."

He extended his arms and crossed them on his chest.

"Yeah, you know. I really need to go shopping."

She laughed.

"Oh my god. Did I just hear _Seth Cohen_ say he wanted to go shopping?"

"No, you didn't. I _need_ to go shopping. That leaves room for you to do it for me."

Summer giggled and tucked her hair behind her ear again.

"Play your cards right, and I just might. How _did_ you get by without me?"

"I have no idea."

She grinned and looked past his shoulder to the door.

"Can I actually ask you about something before I go?"

"Yeah, sure. Anything."

She walked past him and quickly shut the door all the way, before turning back around. She smiled with half her mouth and looked at him.

"You really haven't changed that much, have you? I mean, you're all serious every now and then, but besides that you're the same person."

"Yeah, well, I don't know about that. But being cut off from people that _don't_ have constant tans leaves little room for improvement on the loser I came in as."

"You never were a loser."

"Yeah, well, I can't say I'm not jealous of you and Ryan. You're so old."

She laughed again and walked toward him.

"I don't know about that. I mean, we really haven't changed that much either. Except, you know, most of our company now consists of people that aren't supposed to go to PG-13 movies instead of ones that are supposed to star in NC-17 ones."

"Right."

"And Ryan hasn't had a date in, like, two years."

"Yeah? He and Marissa never got back together?"

Summer shook her head. "They tried, but it wasn't the same. Marissa got married, so we don't usually see that much of her anymore."

"Who'd she marry?"

"Some investment banker. Ironic, right? That was the type I aimed my life after marrying."

"Things change."

"Yeah, I guess. But it does seem weird to have one of the most, I dunno, _in love_ couples not be together. So sometimes change isn't always the best thing. Sometimes you just want things to be like that year."

He nodded. "That was a great year. It was the only year in twenty five where I actually knew you."

"You know me now."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"You could learn about me again."

"I want to."

"Mm-hmm."

She was now so far into his personal space that he could smell the shampoo in her hair. Slowly, she curled a hand around his neck and leaned in even closer. She spread her lips, but he turned his head.

"Um, you should probably go."

She pulled her hand back from his neck and nodded.

"Yeah, right. Um, sorry about...that."

"No, it's-it's okay."

"God, um, I'm kind of embarrassed."

"Don't be. It's just that, you know, I want to get to know you again first. Before, you know, anything happens."

"Right. That makes sense. So I should—I'm gonna go. Bye."

"Summer..."

"No it makes sense. Bye."

She started to walk away, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her. She sighed as quietly as she could and hugged him back. She'd gotten a lot of hugs.

He inhaled her shampoo again and spoke into her ear. "I'm sorry. Don't feel bad or mad or sad or anything that rhymes with that. It's not that I don't want to."

She pulled out of the hug and nodded. "Things change."

"They don't always drastically change."

"But, I mean, nine years ago, you would've been the one to kiss me. And on top of a coffee cart even."

"I'd do it again."

"But you wouldn't kiss me alone in a pool house."

"I don't want you to regret anything that happens with a guy that's practically a stranger to you."

"Nice of you to look out for me. That's what everyone's been doing. Kirsten, Sandy, Ryan, even Chris. Because I don't know what I'm doing. They need to tell me what to do. Because I haven't grown up at all. I'm still sixteen, right? So if I'm sixteen, I get to take risks."

She leaned forward not nearly as slowly, and pressed her lips against his. He stumbled backward slightly but his hand found her waist nearly as quickly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss even farther. She was pressed up so close against him, that he barely thought he could breathe. Not that he wanted to. Some things really _don't_ change.

Summer brought her arms back in front of her and gently pushed him backward onto Chris's bed. She fell on top of him, but their mouths got separated in the process.

"Summer, are you-are you sure you want to do this?"

"You haven't forgotten how, have you?"

"Aren't you going to be late?"

"So what? The bitch already doesn't like me."

She kissed him again and let her legs fall against his. His hands slipped down her back and untucked her shirt. He ran his hands up her bare back and she moaned gently into his mouth.

"Seth, man, Jenn and I were going to...whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa." Ryan held his arms up in front of his eyes and ducked his head.

Summer jumped off of him and tucked her shirt into her skirt all around. Seth stood up too and scratched his head. Ryan slowly lowered his arms and sighed exasperatedly once he saw they were both fully dressed.

"Sorry about-about that."

Summer ran her fingers through her hair as her cheeks reddened. "Yeah, um, I have to go. I'll see you guys later."

She slipped past Ryan and out the door. Ryan raised his eyebrows at Seth and let out a weak laugh.

"I really should learn to knock."

Seth shrugged. Ryan's fake smile went away and his worried face came on.

"Dude, what are you doing? She's a different person now, just like you. And I mean, you've seen each other for forty eight hours. I didn't know you were the kind to jump into the football bed as soon as you met a girl."

"But I didn't just meet her, and it wasn't like it was my idea."

"Still, dude, have some strength to say no. I mean, yeah, she's _Summer_, but you still have some self control, don't you?"

"_She_ kissed me."

"So? Did you bring into the fact that her _son_ could walk in? How much do you think Chris would like you less if he saw you getting ready to bang his mother?"

"I wasn't going to 'bang' her. But speaking of which, since when does Summer say 'dang' and you say 'bang'?"

"Since we had kids, man. The nine year olds usually shouldn't hear about people fucking people."

"Point taken. Now, I should probably go back to see my mother because she probably wants to give me yet another hug."

"What about this, man? I thought we were talking."

"What do you want to say?"

"I want you to say you'll take your time. Get to know her again. Make sure, you know, that you still love each other. Because, dude, sex isn't exactly meaningless."

"Since when did you become an ABC Family special?"

"I thought we went over this already. I had a kid. You don't seem to understand that well."

"Summer had a kid too and she was still pushing me back onto her bed."

"Her _son's_ bed."

"Whatever."

"Not whatever. You don't understand. Summer has responsibilities. She has something she _has_ to do. And then you come back and confuse her, because suddenly she's feeling things she felt nine years ago. And her responsibilities seem to go away, and the only thing she's worried about is being sixteen. But when she was sixteen, she didn't have Chris. But she does now. And she has to realize that. And you have to help her. Say no, man."

"Don't you think that maybe I want to be sixteen again too? And that Chris could fit in there somewhere?"

"Do you _remember_ that year? You guys fought and cried and broke up and made up and slept with each other one night and were kissing hookers the next and that maybe that doesn't go over so well with _seven year olds_. Don't you _get_ that?"

"Ryan, calm down. We've grown up. It won't be like that."

"Exactly. It won't be like that. You've grown up. At least, you have to grow up. And things are different. You don't know what's going to happen. And I don't know what Summer's been thinking, but I do know that she wouldn't want Chris to get hurt because things are different."

"Suddenly you know more about Summer than I do?"

"Yes, Seth! That's what I'm trying to tell you. I'm sorry, but yes. I know her better than you do. I've been here for the past nine years. _You_ haven't."

"Whatever. You don't know as much as you think you do."

"Seth, come on. Come with me. I have to drive the kids to school. We can talk. Without raising our voices."

"I'm going to stay here. Maybe some other time."

"Seth..."

"I have to see my mom."

"She went to work a few minutes ago. She left a note for you in your room, though."

"Then, I have to go see my dad."

"He has work too."

"Damn, what did I use to do?"

"Go to school. Hang out with Summer. Two things you can't do right now, because Summer has work and you don't go to school. You didn't even graduate."

"I know, okay? Fine. I'll go with you."

"I'm going to have to go to work too, though. So I'll drop you back here after we drop them off."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a waiter during the day. I go to classes at night."

"Classes?"

"College. You know, that thing that comes after high school?"

"Oh. You're twenty five; didn't you finish that?"

"A kid usually delays that process a little. Summer took a few classes when she was twenty one, but the only one who actually got the full education was Marissa."

"Where's she?"

"Probably somewhere over the Atlantic. She went to Paris. Something to promote her new line. She's coming back today."

"Oh. So what do I do here until you guys come back?"

"Get a job? Get your high school diploma? Grow up?"

"I grew up. Just differently than you did."

"You know what, man? I have a nine year old and I barely make enough money for the two of us. But my life isn't that bad. Can you say that about yours? Let's go."

Ryan opened the door and walked out, leaving it open for Seth, who was realizing that maybe he didn't grow up as much as he thought he did.

_I'm glad so many of you seem to like this story. I guess I like it too, so that encourages me to write quicker because I want to know what will happen next too. I hope I'll answer all your questions in future chapters, and I hope I explain everything so you can see it all how I do and you can see my reasons for all of it. As for couples, I'm still not sure, I think I'll be hitting most couples at some point, so just bear with me. All right, thanks for reading, please leave me a review. Peace and love..._


	3. Similarity

_Send the roses and champagne to Josh Schwartz._

_This chapter's dedicated to Kylyn Elizabeth. Because of her, it took twice as long to write this as it should've._

**You have extended your limit. Please upgrade your mailbox for just $9.99 a year. Thank you.**

Seth had never thought it was possible to have as much junk mail as he did. There was something he could do for ah hour. He emptied everything after reading each subject line, **Click here to receive $100 in FREE prizes**,** Living Waterfalls Screen Saver**, **New Gear From Fender!** But that still left four hours with nothing to do in a house he could barely recognize. He slid across the counter and down the railing, but that got old quick. He lay in the bed he had missed, staring up at the ceiling that he had previously memorized. He updated his playlist and listened to a few old favorites, mildly interested in the fact that they were now oldies played on different radio stations. Keyword: _mildly_ interested.

By three, when he was finally sure he was going to tear out his hair, he heard a click and a slam downstairs. His head came up and he jumped out of bed. He brushed his hair so it didn't look like he had been sleeping all day. He jogged down the stairs to see the pretty nine year old grinning up at him.

"Uncle Seth, hey."

"Hey. How was...your day?"

"Good. What about you?"

"Much better now that you're here."

Jenn grinned again and gave him a quick hug around the waist. She walked past him to the kitchen and sat at the middle island. He followed her and sat on the counter and tossed her an apple.

"Homework?"

She shook her head. "Too much."

"Yeah? The year's almost over though, right?"

"The teachers keep saying 'It's not over blah blah. You're going to be working to the last day blah blah.' They like putting up a front."

"Yeah, I know that. But the year really is almost over."

She nodded and took a chunk out of the apple. He grinned and took one himself.

"When does Chris get home?"

She shrugged and took another bite. "In like an hour."

"When does Ry—your dad come home?"

"Soon."

"Your grandma?"

"Late."

"Grandpa?"

"Later."

"Summer?"

"Depends. She said she'd be back soon too."

"So we get to hang out for a while."

"Mm-hmm."

"What do you want to do?"

"Anything but homework."

"You want to play a game?"

"What kind of game?"

"The _best_ kind of game."

"That would be..."

"Come upstairs. I'll show you."

"Okay."

She put the apple down and followed him up the stairs and into his room. He reached up onto a shelf with a mountain of dust. He pushed it off and squinted his eyes and his head was surrounded in a cloud. He pulled a box off and handed it to Jenn.

"Jenga?"

"Yeah. You have a problem with Jenga?"

"No. What is it?"

"Good god, you don't know about Jenga? I'll teach you. You build a tower and then pull pieces out until it falls down. Whoever makes it fall down first loses."

"Okay."

Summer knocked on the wall next to the doorframe.

"Hey. What are you guys doing?"

Jenn smiled up at her and held up the box. "Jenga."

Summer laughed and walked into the room. Seth shrugged.

"What?"

"You really _didn't_ change."

"Jenga is a _very_ educational game."

"Uh-huh. What does it teach?"

"Uh, um, architecture. Yeah. Math skills."

"Right. Can I play?"

Jenn nodded and Summer sat with her legs out to one side on the ground. Jenn crossed her legs and Seth joined them. He and Summer made the tower and Jenn corrected them to make it neat. As soon as they finished, they heard the door open downstairs. Summer glanced at her watch.

"That's Chris. I'll be right back."

She got up and walked out of the room. Seth watched her leave. Jenn watched him turn his head back and jump when he saw her staring at him.

"What?"

"You _like_ Aunt Summer."

"What?"

"You like her."

"Yeah. I like you too."

"No. You _like_ her. Like you _like_ like her."

"Uh, what?"

"Like you like her for _dating_."

"What makes you think that?"

"She makes you smile."

"Your dad makes me smile too, but I don't want to date him."

She giggled and sighed.

"You don't _understand_. I think it's romantic that you like Aunt Summer."

"Yeah? Why?"

"Because she likes you too."

"Why do you think that?"

"Duh. She's always looking at you. And she named Chris after you."

"Why do you think she named him after me? Seth is a very popular name."

She giggled again and shook her head.

"_Because_ I heard her talking to Grandma and she said that she named him that because she missed you. And she wanted a part of you with her. Because she _loves_ you."

"You _eavesdropped_ on your grandma and your aunt?"

She nodded without a trace of embarrassment. Seth laughed and played with her hair. Summer came back into the room holding Chris's hand. He sat on Seth's bed, and she sat in between his legs.

"So what'd I miss?"

"_No_thing." Jenn's smile seemed to get bigger.

"Yeah? Are you sure?" Summer crawled to Jenn on her knees. Jenn nodded quickly.

"Do you have a _secret_, Miss Jennifer Dawn?"

Jenn shook her head just as quickly and bit her lip to hide her smile. Summer grinned.

"I don't believe you. And you know the best way to get secrets."

"No!"

"Yes."

Summer picked the girl up and dropped her in her lap and tickled her sides. Jenn shrieked with laughter and tried to tickle her back. Summer hovered over her and tickled her legs and her feet. Jenn shrieked louder and squirmed, trying to roll over. Summer fell backward laughing and Jenn jumped on top of her. She crossed her arms on Summer's chest and rested her head on top of them.

"You're so _mean_."

"I'm not mean."

"Yes, you are. If my daddy was here, he would yell at you."

"If your daddy was here, he would be jealous because he didn't get to tickle you first."

"My daddy's mean too."

"Your daddy _is_ mean. Get mad at him. I'm the nice one."

Jenn laughed and Summer joined her.

"You're _tickling_ me again."

"I'm not touching you."

"Your belly shakes."

Summer laughed again and Jenn started giggling. The door opened and Ryan walked in.

"Why's everyone laughing so loud?"

"Daddy!"

Jenn jumped up and ran into his waist, hugging him.

"Whoa, hey, you're getting strong."

"Yeah?" Jenn's head looked up at his with a huge grin.

"Mm-hmm."

"So I can start ballet?"

"Why do you want to do ballet?"

"Because it's _pretty_."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I'll think about it."

"That's what you _always_ say. Just say yes."

"Maybe."

"Daddy, I..."

"Ask too many questions. Let's go."

He picked her up under her arms and swung her onto the bed next to Chris.

"What are we doing?"

"Mmm, Jenga." Summer tied her hair up into a loose ponytail and sat back on the floor.

"I've actually never played that before."

"Dude, you're my brother and you haven't played Jenga? Something is wrong with that." Seth grinned and Ryan shrugged.

"Let's do this, man."

Ryan sat on the floor and Jenn sat in between him and Seth. Chris crossed his arms and lay back on the bed.

"You don't want to play, honey?" Summer touched his arm. Chris shook his head. "Honey, what's wrong?" Summer pushed up onto the bed next to him and stroked his back. Seth looked over to her. She was a mom. She really was.

"Nothing."

"Baby..."

"I'm fine, Mom! Leave me alone."

He jumped up and ran out of the room. They all heard him run down the stairs and a distinct door slam. Summer stood up and sighed.

"I...have to go. Don't wait for me." She turned and ran out of the room. "Chris!"

Summer slipped into the pool house and saw her son facedown on his bed. She sat on the floor in front of him and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Baby, talk to me."

"No."

"At least tell me what's wrong."

"You won't listen to me anyway."

"I'll try. Especially if it's important to you."

"You don't want to listen."

"Tell me anyway."

"You just...I don't know. You're different."

"How?"

"I don't know! You just changed since he's been back."

"You're not...jealous, right, honey?"

"No. I'm not."

"Okay. So what do you mean?"

"You're just different, that's all. Like you don't want me around."

"Honey, I always want you around. I love you, babe."

"But you love him too, don't you?"

Summer stilled her hand on his back and stared at the wall. After a few second, she looked back at him.

"I don't know, honey."

"Why? You don't _know_ him. You met him in the park and suddenly you want to be with him more than you want to be with me. _Why_?"

"Oh honey." Summer wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged his cheek against hers. "Baby, you don't understand. I did know him. A long, long time ago. And sometimes it's nice to remember."

"So you loved him more then than you love me now?"

"Oh, baby, I love you in a completely different way."

"But you did."

"I don't know. That was a really long time ago."

"So why do you still love him?"

"He _is_ a good person, honey. If you just gave him a chance."

"I don't want to."

"Why?"

"Because he makes you not want to be my mommy."

"I'll always want to be your mommy. I promise."

"But you giggle more around him. And it's weird."

"I do?"

"Yeah. Like the girls in my class."

"Well, I...I knew him when I was younger. So I don't know, maybe I remember what it was like."

"How well did you really know him then though?"

"Oh, believe me, babe, I knew him. Well."

"But if you changed so much, didn't he?"

"I don't know, sweetheart. But we may as well give him a chance so we can figure that out."

"But will you be my mommy if I give him a chance?"

"I swear."

"Don't swear, Mommy. You're not good at it."

"Have you been watching movies with Uncle Ryan again?"

He nodded and Summer laughed.

"He shouldn't let you watch movies with bad words in them."

"Jerry Guire doesn't say as many bad words as you do."

"Maguire, honey. Show me the money."

"No, the kwon."

"That's right. The kwon."

"Can we go back in and see Uncle Ryan?"

"Sure, honey. Let's go."

Summer stood up and held out her arms for him. He stood up on the bed and hugged her.

"I love you, baby."

"I love you too, Mommy."

She rocked back and forth and kissed his hair.

Dinner was less awkward than it used to be. Kirsten was there, even though Sandy was still out. Chris was laughing more than he had before. Jenn was firmly planted next to Seth and kept tapping him on the shoulder to tell him things. Kirsten was beyond happy. After they all finished, Seth and Ryan brought the plates to the sink and started washing them. Summer tapped Chris on the shoulder and nodded over. He gave her a look and she crossed her arms. He sighed and walked over.

He tapped Seth on the shoulder and crooked his finger. Seth bent down and Chris whispered into his ear. "I'm sorry I was mean to you."

Seth whispered back. "It's okay."

"I didn't mean to be."

"I know."

"I want to be your friend."

"I want to be your friend too."

"Do you like my mommy?"

Seth bent down onto his knees and thought about it for a minute. He looked back at the bright, bright green eyes and slowly nodded. Chris nodded too and walked away. Ryan handed Seth a plate and he rubbed it with the dishcloth.

After dinner, Seth went up to his room and continued staring at the ceiling. His playlist was on rotate and he was remembering what it was like to be sixteen and dance with Summer to Ryan Adams. There was a knock at his door and he shouted an "it's open" without moving. Ben Folds was singing the one overplayed song he had ever released.

"_Six AM, day after Christmas. I throw some clothes on in the dark. The smell of cold, car seat is freezing. The world is sleeping; I am numb._"

"Hey. Who's this?" Summer walked into the room and sat on the dark blue carpet she had memorized.

"Ben Folds Five. What are you doing in here?"

"I needed to talk to you. Did you talk to Chris?"

"Yeah. Was he really that mad at me?"

"_Up the stairs to the apartment. She is balled up on the couch. Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte. They're not home to find us out. And we drive; Now that I have found someone, I'm feeling more alone. Than I ever have before_."

"I don't think so. I think he was just jealous?"

"Why?"

"He thinks I like you more than I like him."

"That's ridiculous. You're his mother."

"I know. He just thinks I pay you more attention or something."

"Oh. But you talked to him about it?"

"Yeah. I think he'll be okay."

"Okay. Good."

"Yeah. It was really weird though, he said I turned into a different person when I saw you."

"Like what?"

"Like I was younger."

"Do you? Think you've changed?"

"I don't know. I mean, it has been good to see you again."

"_She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly. Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere. She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly_."

"Yeah, I mean, I really missed you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, you and my mom."

"Wow. I mean, I missed you too."

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, duh. You were a pretty big part of my life."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"_They call her name at 7:30. I pace around the parking lot. Then I walk down to buy her flowers. And sell some gifts that I got. Can't you see, it's not me you're dying for? Now she's feeling more alone than she ever has before._"

"Really cheerful song, Cohen."

He sat up and grinned at her. She laughed.

"What?"

"Nothing. You just...called me Cohen."

"Oh. You know, um, we could lock your door and..."

"Oh right. I was supposed to, um, talk to you about that. Um, do you think it would be okay if we kind of started over?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like pretend that we just met each other. Because I mean, we don't know each other as well as we used to."

"Ryan talked to you."

"Yeah, why? He talked to you?"

"Yeah. You know, he might be wrong though. I mean, I see you, right? And everything feels the same. Well, not everything, but how much I feel for you."

"Oh. Maybe we should kind of listen to him though. Like, take things slow."

"What if I told you that I hadn't had a date in a year and maybe I don't want to take things slow?"

"But Summer..."

"This is stupid. You really are blaming me because _you_ left! This is so stupid! God, Seth, you leave me for nearly a decade and you think you can yell at me and blame me! Seth, I never knew you were that stupid. Maybe you _have_ changed."

"Summer, I don't want to say this. I mean, I want this, I want _you_, but I know I left and I don't blame you. I blame myself to the extent where I'm almost certain that I don't deserve you. You've changed for the better and if you were anyone else, I wouldn't care about just sleeping with you. But you deserve more than that. You deserve some guy that can give you the life that you deserve and now I'm not so sure I can."

"Everyone's telling me what to do. I hate it. You don't have the right to choose what I deserve. Because I think I deserve to be goddamn happy after all this."

"You do. And..."

"And what I _want_ is you. I don't want to take things slow and I don't want people to tell me they know what's best for me."

"What do you want me to say? I'm trying to make the right choice here for once."

"I want you to say that you love me. I want you to say that you want _this_ to work out because you still have feelings for me. I _want_ you to throw me on your bed and fuck my brains out."

"I can't do all that. I'm trying to grow up."

"Well I already grew up. So I can."

Summer stood up and kissed him as hard as she could. She pushed him backward on the bed so he was lying down.

"Summer..."

"Shh. Don't think."

"_She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly. Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere. She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly. As weeks went by, it showed that she was not fine. They told me, son, it's time to tell the truth. She broke down, and I broke down. Cause I was tired of lying. Driving home to her apartment, for a moment we're alone. Yeah, she's alone. I'm alone. Now I know it._"

Slowly, he felt his hands creep to her back. It was just like that; like he was watching his hands move without control of them. Summer shifted up against him, as a knock came at the door. He turned his head up to look at the door, but Summer shook her head and kissed him again.

"Pretend that you're asleep."

Another knock came accompanied with a whine. "Uncle _Seth_, I _need_ you."

"Shit, Summer, I have to get that."

She shrugged and fixed her shirt and makeup. He got up and opened the door after running his hand through his hair a few times.

"Jenn, hey. Sorry about that."

"It's okay. I need to talk to you."

"Sure, what's up?"

"Daddy's mad at you. I think Granddaddy's mad too. Grandma's just crying."

"Why?"

"I don't know. But they're scaring me."

"Okay, I'll go check. You go to bed, okay?"

She nodded shakily. He kissed her forehead and ran down the stairs. Jenn cried for a second, but wiped her eyes with the back of her hand when she saw Summer walking to her.

"Jenn, sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Daddy's mad. It's making Grandma cry."

"Is Uncle Seth going to take care of it?"

She nodded and Summer half smiled at her.

"Come on. I'll take you to bed."

She nodded again and wrapped her arms around Summer's ribs.

"Hey. You're getting tall."

"Really?"

"Either that or I'm getting short."

She grinned through her tears and crooked her finger. Summer bent down and Jenn kissed her cheek.

"I love you, Aunt Summer."

"I love you too, sweetie. Let's get you to bed."

Summer disappeared with the nine year old into her room and tucked her under the covers.

Seth walked into the kitchen, very nervously, and saw Ryan and Sandy standing up, trying to talk to Kirsten through her tears.

"You guys, what's wrong?"

Ryan turned around, and Seth saw the tears stinging his eyes. He'd never seen Ryan cry.

"Who do you think you are?"

"What?"

"You think you can just swoop back in and it will be like nothing ever changed! Newsflash, Seth, it doesn't _work_ that way."

"Ryan, I..."

"No. I don't feel like eating that shit that everyone else has been eating about how you're sorry and it's hard because that's just bullshit! You left for...too long for you to just say I'm sorry and get welcomed with open arms! It doesn't _work_ that way, Seth, and I don't know what Summer's been telling you or making you think, but you can't just pretend like nothing ever happened, because something did! And it was your fault!"

"Hey! You left too, man, I don't know what..."

"I _left_ because it was the right thing to do! I didn't have a choice! You did it for all the wrong reasons, but the main one was you're a selfish son of a bitch. And I'm sick of pretending I don't care!"

Sandy's arms became uncrossed and he threw them out to the side.

"He's _right_, Seth! You don't seem to care! At all! You hurt everyone in this house, and you don't seem to be all that sorry just because we didn't scream at you when you got home! Do you think this is a _game_, son? Because it isn't. Real feelings are being involved and you can't just brush if off like it's nothing! It _is_ something! And things are different! You're not the same little sixteen year old that can depend on his parents and expect their forgiveness for staying out too late! This is a _big_ deal!"

"I know that, okay? It's not like I don't care about you guys. I love you people and if you don't think I feel bad about any of this, you must be right, Ryan. We all changed. And you don't know me anymore. So maybe I should just get out of here so we don't wake up your _daughter_, in case you forgot."

"I didn't forget, Seth. Because I have responsibilities while you have nothing. You just wait around all day for us to come home so you can remember what it was like to be around people that care about you. I'm goddamn _sick_ of waiting for you to do something with yourself, but I kept doing it because I thought you were the kind of kid that cared what he did with himself. Maybe you were, but something must have happened to you in that damn Pacific because you sure as hell don't seem to care anymore!"

Summer came running down the stairs, her eyes huge.

"What is your problem? Ryan! Your daughter is upstairs _crying_ her _eyes_ out because she thinks her dad is mad at her! She keeps covering her ears, but nothing she does can get your stupid voice out of her head! She's _crying_, Ryan. Because of you. You guys can't even go outside?"

Ryan's hands were on his hips and he was watching the ground as Summer smacked his arm. His voice lowered and he whispered to Summer.

"Put her in the pool house, please. I need to talk to Seth."

"You put her in the goddamn pool house. She's _your_ daughter! And she's afraid of her own father! And she has to _sleep_, Ryan! She has school tomorrow and it's already 10!"

Ryan exhaled sharply and shook his head.

"We'll go outside, then."

"Well lower your goddamn voices because I don't want you waking up my son too."

"_Now_, you remember your son."

"What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Have you noticed that he's been upset for the past _three_ days? He's been telling himself not to cry because he thinks it would upset you. But he wants to cry because he doesn't think you care about him anymore. Which isn't completely hard to believe at this point."

"Now I don't care about my son? You think you know me so well, Ryan Atwood, but here's something you _don't_ know about me, I'm not as bad a mother as you think I am. I love my son and I love your daughter because someone needs to take care of her while you're screaming your head off! So don't act all proud of yourself thinking that you know what's best for me because you really, _really_ don't!"

"I know that you should get out of this make believe land you have where nothing has changed in nine years. Things are _different_, Summer, and you keep trying to tell yourself they're not! That's impossible because _nine years_ have gone by! _Nine_ years. So stop fooling yourself into believing you know what you're doing because you don't!"

"Just because you're _jealous_ of your own brother doesn't mean you have to act all high and mighty."

Ryan shook his head again. "I'm not jealous, Summer. Don't flatter yourself."

"Oh really? It doesn't make you mad to see me pay attention to someone else? Just because you've stopped me from finding someone else doesn't mean you can stop me from finding the love of my whole fucking life when he walks into my house. I'm sorry if things didn't work out like you wanted them to, but I'm not going to be Mrs. fucking Brady. I can't do that, Ryan. I'm sorry, it's been nice having someone when I had no one, but we both know I don't love you like you want me to. So we have to move on."

Ryan swallowed and nodded. "Okay. Maybe I should be the one to go, then."

"No. No one's leaving." Kirsten stood up and starting shaking her hands. Ryan put his hand on her shoulder and nodded.

"I guess I should go. Prove that I _do_ have responsibility. I've been living in my parents' house for six years, and Summer's right. It's time to move on."

Summer shook her head and lowered her voice too. "You can't go now. Jenn has to sleep."

Ryan looked up and looked directly at Summer. "Tomorrow then. I'll get my stuff ready."

"_No_, Ryan, you don't have to..."

"Mom. It's time. Good night, you guys."

Ryan walked out of the room and up the stairs to rock his daughter to sleep. Seth looked up at his mother, father, and his...Summer, and shrugged.

"I guess I'll go tonight."

"_No_, Seth. No ones leaving." Kirsten hung her head and started crying again.

"Mom, I can't stay somewhere where I'm not welcome. I'm not that stupid contrary to popular belief."

He rubbed circles in his mom's back and hugged her quietly. He gave his dad a look and touched Summer's shoulder before grabbing his bag from upstairs and shutting the door with a quiet slam.

_"Brick" written by Ben Folds and Darren Jessee_

_Next chapter brings Marissa back into the picture. Peace and love..._


	4. Addiction

_Wow, okay, so if any of you guys want some clear points for this story, read kay.note's review. I'm kind of impressed. And cut Ryan a little slack. He's not a bad guy, even in this story. But I guess I'm kind of flattered because I seemed to really have caused some strong feelings. None of it belongs to me, but please leave a review to tell me how I've messed it up for better or for worse. Peace and love..._

Sandy was feeling guilty. Not only had he been avoiding his family more and more lately, he had chased his son out of the house. And his other one wasn't going to be sticking around much longer. He loved them. He did. It just was getting harder to recently. When Seth was younger, he could just yell at him and the kid would start crying and apologize. At twelve, he started yelling back. At twenty five, he probably hated him. Ryan did have a point, but Sandy wasn't the kind of person to stay too angry long. He had said some things that had gotten Sandy a little emotional and now both of his sons were angry at him. Ryan was angry at everyone, mostly Summer, and Seth was god knows where. Kirsten probably hated Sandy the most. Because while he had chased away his sons, he had also chased away her _boys_. But he had to yell. It had been inside of him since he saw Seth again and it had to come out at some point. But Kirsten wouldn't hear it. He had chased away her boys.

Ryan slept late the next morning, which was really weird for him. Jenn kissed him lightly on the forehead when she left for school and as she was walking out the door, he lifted his head up. It suddenly felt like it weighed more than his whole body.

"Hey, honey. I'm sorry about last night."

"It's okay, Daddy."

"I was really...angry, I mean, I don't know why. I just, like, blew. And it wasn't your fault. It was just...so much."

"Daddy?"

He looked up at her and had his deer-in-the-headlights look on.

"Yeah?"

"Who are you talking to?"

"You."

"Are you sure?"

"Who else would I be talking to?"

"You were yelling, but you weren't yelling about me."

"Since...since when are you so smart?"

"I learned from the best."

She smiled and Ryan returned it with a nod and mouthed 'thanks.' She smiled a far away smile and walked out of the room, Ryan finally seeing Theresa in her.

Jenn skipped into the kitchen and sat at the kitchen table. She grinned at Summer leaning against the counter in her purple tank top and plain pajama pants and wet hair. Summer raised her spoon from her cereal in recognition.

"Are you mad at Daddy?"

"Your daddy? No. I think your daddy's mad at me."

"He's not. He's sad."

"I think your dad's kind of confused."

"You should kiss him. That would make him feel better."

"Did he tell you to say that?"

"No."

"How do you know it would make your dad feel better if I kissed him, then?"

"Because he liked kissing you before."

"Oh honey. It's not that easy. And your dad and I weren't very good at kissing."

"Oh. Why not?"

"It just didn't work, honey."

"You could've been my mommy."

"Baby. Do you remember your mommy?"

"No. Daddy tells me about her though."

"What does he say?"

"He says she was very pretty and that's why I'm very pretty."

"He's right."

"I don't think I'm that pretty."

"You should. You're very, _very_ pretty. Look at your hair. I would kill for that kind of hair."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Did you know my mommy?"

"Not very well. She _was_ very pretty though."

"Did my daddy love her?"

"I think so."

That seemed to satisfy her, because she nodded and kissed Summer's cheek on her way out of the kitchen. Summer called after her.

"Do you have a ride?"

"Grandpa said he'd give me and Chris one."

"Okay."

Summer leaned back against the counter and dipped her bowl back to get the last drops of milk. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and put her bowl down. She sighed lightly and gave in to walk up the stairs.

She knocked on the door and opened it and the "it's open." She opened the door and leaned against the door frame.

"Are you mad at me?" Summer picked at her fingernails, chipping one and peeling it back.

"Why would I be mad at you?" Ryan was looking at the ceiling.

"I don't know. Are you?"

"I don't know."

"I'm sorry, if that helps."

"For what?"

"I don't know. Yelling at you? Calling you jealous?"

"But I was jealous."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because I was finally fitting in. And I always was just the pool boy. But then I wasn't. But Seth's always been able to shrug things off and win the girl in the end. And him being here kind of reminded me that I'd always be in second place."

"That's not true. Believe it or not, but you _are_ good for some things." Summer looked at him, and saw his eyes flicker to hers for a second.

"Aw, thanks." He still wasn't looking at her, but a smile was tugging at his lips.

"It's true. You're kind of cute around the edges. You're always there if I need someone punched. And you give the _best_ hugs."

He grinned and sat up in the bed that was completely unmade in every aspect. Summer smiled and glanced down at her feet.

"So are we okay?" She smiled softly and already knew the answer to her question.

"Yeah. We're okay."

"Would it be _completely_ inappropriate if I hugged you right now?"

"I couldn't blame you. I give the _best_ hugs."

She grinned again and walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his back. He hugged her back and leaned his head on her shoulder. He didn't love her like she loved Seth either. It just had been easy. Summer was always there and he did love her. So easy had been better than actually trying to find someone else.

"You get it, right? I mean, I love you too much to want to put you through the crap I'd have to put you through to be my boyfriend."

He nodded against her shoulder and kissed her cheek as she pulled back. She smiled and walked back to the door.

"Summer?"

She spun around with her hand on the frame.

"Could you tell Seth I'm sorry? That I'd like to talk to him like civilized people?"

"No. You tell him."

"You know, that whole bossy thing that you think is so cute isn't actually that cute."

"Yeah I know. But I'm also usually right."

She grinned and walked away. Ryan got out of the bed and into the bathroom. He shut the shower door and turned the water hot. As the mirror started to fog up, he started to remember what it had been like when Seth was gone. And how they hadn't known if he was dead or alive or sick or happy. And how he had placed a thousand calls to find out, each one less hopeful than the last. And then he had had to yell at him. His brother.

Summer didn't have to go in today, her boss was already so happy with her because of 'the absolute triumph' the day before. She pulled her hair up into a high ponytail and wore jeans for the first time in a month. She grabbed a band tee shirt that she had seen with Ryan and Marissa. Something Corporate. Marissa's idea. Not a bad show.

She caught a taxi to the airport and bought a ridiculously priced cup of coffee, even though she'd already had two cups that morning. She sat on the chairs that felt like the hard plastic they were and bought the new Jane. The first new one in four years. She curled her legs underneath her to make the red plastic at least a little more comfortable, but gave that up quickly. She glanced at her watch at tapped her foot against the hard seat along with the beat of the chorus.

"_She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly_._ Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere. She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly._"

Seth hadn't brought everything with him. Although, she had seen that that picture of her in the red and white polka dotted dress was gone. Some guy muttered something on the loudspeaker that she couldn't comprehend, but before she knew it a thin woman in a leather jacket was throwing herself on top of her.

"Whoa, good to see you too."

"I can't believe you _came_. Don't you have work?"

"I had the day off."

"So why in hell did you want to come _here_? Is Chris here too?"

"He has school."

"Did he grow at all since I saw him?"

Marissa rolled off of her into the seat next to her. Summer shook her head.

"Same size."

"He's short."

"So were you. You both grew."

"Okay."

"Where's...that dude you're married to?"

"Brendan? I dunno; I ran ahead."

"Why'd you run? You didn't know I was going to be here."

"I saw you through the window. So what's up, what's new, who's hot, who's not? By the way, I cannot believe you are wearing that tee shirt; you were the one complaining the whole time."

"Nothing's up, a lot's new, you're hot, my new client's not. And I did complain, but they were pretty awesome."

"Elaborate on the new stuff."

"You want to do this in the middle of an airport?"

"We can't leave without Brendan. I can ditch him, but I don't think he'd like us deserting him in the middle of an airport. So spill."

"Okay, well, I completely nailed that account. The girl loves me now and the guy's always drooling over me when his fiancé's not looking. And...Chris was really upset for a while and Ryan got mad at me last night, but everything's okay now. I think."

"Why was Ryan mad at you?"

"It's a long story."

"I think Brendan's lost. I have time."

"Well, it's kind of hard to explain."

"Liar. Tell me."

"You won't believe me. But you can help me fix it and see for yourself."

"I don't wanna wait. Tell me now; I'll believe you later."

Summer leaned back in her chair and started humming and singing under her breath.

"I don't wanna wait, for our lives to be over. I want to know right now; what will it be? I don't wanna wait, for our lives to be over. Will it be yes, or will it be, sorry?"

Marissa shook her head but sang anyway. "So open up your morning light, and say a little prayer for I. You know that if we are to stay alive and see the love in every eye." She stopped singing and rolled her eyes. "You know, you're really annoying."

"You know, you really _wouldn't_ believe me."

"You think you can distract me with Dawson's Creek theme songs, but I will get it out of you anyway. Is it...a guy?"

"More than a guy."

"Ooh, _the_ guy? What's his name? Do I know him?"

"You used to."

"Oh my god, is it Luke? I thought you got over him a long time ago."

"I didn't get over Luke, because there was nothing to get over. _That_ was a mistake."

"A mistake that landed you with the most beautiful baby in the world."

"That's true."

"So if it's not Luke, who is it?"

"Marissa...how...can...you move...so fast?" A good looking guy with black hair who looked seventeen but was actually thirty stumbled to sit next to his wife and place a kiss on her cheek.

"Skill, sweetie. Sit."

"Wait, Marissa. How was _Paris_?" Summer sat back up and smiled lightly at Brendan McKnight.

"Fine. Who is it?" Marissa's eyes grew bigger and she tapped her foot impatiently.

"Riss, let's get your bags and then I can show you."

"Sum..."

"She's right, Marissa. We should get our bags."

"Fine. Be that way. Let's go."

Marissa grabbed Brendan's hand and pulled him to baggage claim. Summer followed them, running her hand through her hair to try to work through the knots from the swim she had had with Chris that morning.

Brendan had called ahead and so a limo was waiting for them once they had found all four of Marissa's bags and all two of Brendan's. Marissa and Brendan sat across from Summer, Summer telling the driver where to go.

"So, Riss, really, how was Paris?"

"It was fun. A lot of wine that was good. And really cheap too. Brendan was always gone though."

"I had to be, baby, we were there because I had work. You knew that."

"I know. I missed you, that's all."

"Well, you slept the whole plane ride, so I missed you even though you were right there."

"I was tired. You got home every night at, like, 11 so we could only really do stuff after that. I didn't get any sleep."

"You could've slept all day."

"But I didn't. I watched American sitcoms in French."

"Why?"

"The _culture_."

"Okay, okay."

Brendan looked out the window and Summer bit back a laugh. Marissa pushed her hair back and shrugged.

"What?"

"You guys are so _married_."

"Okay?"

"No, you guys just talk like you're _married_."

"That's because we are, Sum. Good job." Marissa threw up an enthusiastic, very overly sarcastic, thumb up.

The car stopped at the Mermaid Inn and Marissa scrunched her forehead. This time it was Summer's turn to shrug.

"People always go to the same places. I didn't know where he was, so it was either here or Chino. Chino's too far."

"You going to tell me who it is now?"

"One sec. I have to go and I'll be back for you guys."

"You're not going to get all Courage Under Fire on me, right?"

"I'll be back. And you're not going to die in a limo."

"Okay."

"Okay. Be right back. Promise."

Summer got out the limo and found the main lobby. She walked up to the first male concierge she'd ever seen.

"Do you have a Cohen?"

"Yes, ma'am. Is he expecting you?"

"I don't think so. Can you just give me his room number?"

"That's against policy."

"Please? I promise I'm a friend."

"Well...just this once. Number 207. Do you want me to tell him you're coming?"

"No, it's okay. I don't want him to run. Thanks."

"It's my..." She left before he could finish his last sentence.

Summer found the room and knocked softly on it. She heard a voice from inside shout "just a second, Summer." She leaned against the wall and a few seconds later, Seth opened the door with a towel wrapped around his waist and a few drops of water slipping down his chest.

"How'd you know it was me?" Summer brushed a few drops off his shoulders.

"Who else would it be?"

"You want to see Marissa and her husband?"

"When I have pants on."

"So go."

"Go get them."

He shut the door again and Summer went down the stairs and back to the limo. She opened the door and cocked her head toward the Inn. Marissa and Brendan got out and Summer led them back to Seth's room. She opened the door as Seth pulled a tee shirt over his head. Marissa's eyes grew as her mouth dropped.

"Oh my god. Seth?"

She ran over to him and hugged him so hard that he fell down on the ground.

"Uh, hi Marissa."

"Omigod, when did you get back?"

"A few days ago."

"And Summer didn't _tell_ me!"

Marissa crawled off of him and helped him stand up. She looked him up and down and nodded her approval.

"You look good."

"Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself."

She shrugged it off as if she did it all effortlessly, a gesture she had learned after a few too many magazines screamed "You're beautiful! What's your secret?" Because when you were in the spotlight, there was always a secret.

"So, I, uh, I heard you got your hands into fashion design." Seth ran his fingers through his hair nervously, not sure how to small talk with someone who had obviously completely changed.

"Oh, yeah. It's not a big thing, just a few pieces."

"That's cool."

"Yup."

"Yup."

"Oh, right. This is Brendan. My husband. Brendan, Seth Cohen."

Brendan offered a business hand and Seth grasped it roughly.

"I'd, uh, jump you too but I think my wife already took care of that." He finished it off with a movie star smile.

"Thanks."

Marissa exhaled and grinned through her heavy breathing. She clapped her hands together.

"I need to see my nephew! And my niece! I have presents for them."

Marissa had adopted Chris and Jenn as if they were hers and the tiny legal**/**blood thing didn't matter at all. Just like Summer was Jenn's aunt. They all _were_ family. Jenn and Chris never had known any different.

"More presents, Riss? They're still moaning over all that chocolate you gave them from Greece."

"But I went to _Paris_. And I didn't get them food so it's okay."

"What'd you get them? And what did you get me?"

"I got Chris this adorable little French painter hat that he'll hate and a model of some Da Vinci statue that he can learn how to build like a replica or something. I got _Jenn_ a replica of that light peachy dress that she liked and a painting of Paris's night life, minus the streetwalkers. And I got _you_ another dress of mine and the _original_, like the _real_ thing, of that painting you liked so much. You know, the one with the guy and the girl watching the boats take the people to the Tower? And I got Ryan something that I can't remember. And I got Mr. and Mrs. Cohen this great bottle of wine that has to be at least 69 years. Oh! But Seth, I didn't know you were _here_. If _someone_ had _called_ me..."

"No. That's okay, Marissa. Really."

"Well, it was awesome to see you, sweetheart." Marissa kissed both of Seth's cheeks and used her thumbnail to wipe the lipstick off. "But I must see my kids. Come on, Brendan. You coming, Sum?"

"Um, I'm going to stay here a while. I'll catch a cab back."

"Yeah, sure. Brendan will give you the number of his limo thing."

"Riss, that's okay."

"No, it's fine." Brendan shuffled through his pockets and pulled out a slip of paper. "That's my company. Call them anytime you want to go home. They'll put it on my bill."

"No, it's really okay. Brendan, you're a sweetheart, but I'll get a cab."

Brendan shook his head and thrust the paper at her. She took it hesitantly and slipped it into her pocket. "I insist, Summer. You've been perfect to my wife and a honey to me, so you're family."

Summer smiled gently and kissed Brendan's cheek and Marissa's and waved goodbye as they left the room. Seth brushed off his jeans from his encounter with the floor.

"Since when was she _so_ happy?"

"Somewhere after their first anniversary."

"It's good to see her like that. And he seems nice."

"He is nice. And very no drama, which is definitely good for Marissa."

Seth nodded and grabbed a comb from the dresser.

"So how's Ryan?"

"He feels really bad. He wants to apologize."

"What happened last night? Do you know?"

"I think it's just nine years worth of stress. And you were the easiest person to dump it on. Same thing for Sandy."

He nodded slowly.

"How's my mom?"

"Pissed at your dad. You should call her."

"I will. How are you?"

"I'm okay."

"So you just came here because..."

"I was never mad at you."

"Oh. And that whole Ryan thing..."

"I took care of it. It wasn't really even a thing. And whatever it was is over, so..."

"So. When does Chris come home?"

Summer glanced at her watch and shrugged. "Three hours."

"So you can stay here a while? I can...get to know you?"

She nodded. He nodded too. She looked up at him through heavy eyelids and extended a small smile. He walked gently over to her and brushed his eyelashes against her cheeks. She stretched her arms around his neck and looked at his darkening eyes.

"So who are you, Seth Cohen?"

He thought about it a minute while she left kisses on his jaw and neck. He pushed a finger under her chin and pulled her face up to look at his.

"A guy that thinks he might be in love with you. Again."

She smiled and kissed his ear, before whispering into it, "Right answer."

She turned her head to kiss him and he kissed her back all too willingly. He pushed her slowly back onto the freshly made bed and trailed his kisses down her neck.

"Since when do you like Something Corporate?"

"Marissa."

"Oh."

 He pushed his hands up the bottom of her shirt, and left it bunched around her chest. He kissed her stomach that was faintly sticky from a mix of sweat, suntan lotion, and chlorine, but was still perfect. She pulled at his slightly wet hair and kissed a straight line from his forehead to the base of his chin.

"Who are you, Summer Roberts?"

She didn't even hesitate. "A girl looking for something like you."


	5. Breathless

_I'm unoriginal and unwealthy. Josh Schwartz isn't. Leave a review; peace and love..._

"Seth Christopher Roberts, _please_ tell me you're not playing those lame video games with your uncle and that you are in fact in bed like I asked you."

Summer peeked through the hand over her eyes and opened the glass door to see Chris and Ryan sitting on the floor moaning and groaning over two game controllers. She pulled her hand down and placed both of them on her hips. Neither Ryan nor Chris seemed to notice her. Chris's tongue was peeking through his lips and Ryan had his teeth piercing his bottom lip.

"Come on, you son of a...yes! Yes!"

Ryan threw up his arms and fell backward onto the carpet on his back. Chris threw the controller down.

"Dammit!"

"Seth _Christopher_!"

"Oh, hi Mom." He waved a lazy hand before falling backward next to Ryan. Summer walked in front of both of them and kicked Ryan's shin.

"Ow! Dude, what was that for?"

"You're teaching him to _curse_?"

"No, _you_ are."

She kicked him again. Ryan winced and pulled his legs up in front of him. Chris sighed.

"Mom, quit it. It wasn't his fault. And it wasn't your fault. I heard it from Grandpa."

"Oh joy. But you, sir, are supposed to be in bed. Go."

"But Mom, it's only 9:30."

"And you are seven and tomorrow is Wednesday and unless you're praying for snow, I'd get your little butt into that bed."

He stood up and rolled his eyes in front of her and fell back on the floor. Ryan laughed while trying to hide it, but Summer kicked him anyway.

"Okay, I didn't do _anything_ that time."

"Well, I can't kick _him_, can I?"

"Doesn't mean you have to kick me."

"I have stored anger."

"Again, that is not my fault. I'm the nice one."

Summer rolled her eyes and grabbed her son's arm to pull him up.

"Mo_-om_! I'm going to call Child _Services_."

"Good. Maybe they'll be able to get you into bed."

"You're mean."

"She's right, little man. Let it go." Ryan sat up and patted the kid's back a few times.

Chris rolled his eyes again and muttered to himself as he trudged his way across the room. Summer sighed triumphantly and put her hands back on her hips.

"Jenn's already in bed. Just tell her to turn off the light. She's reading some book."

Ryan nodded and pushed himself up. Summer walked over to the still muttering Chris and placed a kiss on his forehead as she fell to her knees. She leaned her head down on his arm and he immediately pulled it under his head.

"Hey. Why are you mad at me? You have to go to bed every day. What makes this one special?"

"You weren't here when I got home. _And_ you didn't have work."

"I had something to take care of."

"That was more important than your own son?"

"No, but I lost track of time. I'm sorry."

"Mm-hmm."

"Cut the sarcasm, please? I'm too tired."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you tired?"

"Because I am. Why aren't you asleep?"

"Because I'm not."

"Work on that. But kiss me."

He kept staring at the ceiling and Summer laughed.

"Come on, baby. I need three kisses or I won't be able to sleep tonight. Here, here, and here." She pointed to each cheek and once to her mouth and Chris sighed.

"It won't happen again?"

"I'll try."

"It won't happen again?"

"I'll try."

"It _won't_ happen again?"

"I don't know."

"No kisses then."

"You can't withhold kisses from your mother."

"Watch me. You didn't kiss me when I got home. Because you weren't there."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

"Will you kiss me now?"

"No."

"Fine. I'll just sit here. And my hand might just happen to start itching and it just might need to tickle something."

"No!"

"Kisses?"

He sighed even louder and kissed her cheeks and lips.

"Better?"

"Much. I love you, baby."

"Yeah."

"What about me?"

"You're not so bad."

She laughed again and kissed his forehead before walking to the doorway and placing her hand on the light switch.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah?"

"I guess I love you too."

"Yeah."

She grinned, pushed the light off, and walked out of the pool house.

Ryan kissed his daughter's hair and smoothed it over.

"How've you been doing? We haven't talked in _forever_."

"I'm okay."

"Yeah?"

She nodded and kissed his cheek.

"How've _you_ been doing?"

"Not so good. I think I'm better now though."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I'm glad."

He nodded. "Me too. How's school?"

"Okay. How's school?"

"Okay."

"You getting smarter?"

"I hope so."

She nodded again and he kissed her hair one more time before making his way to the door.

"Daddy?"

He turned around and watched the nine year old climb out of bed and hug him around the waist.

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, Jennifer."

He kissed her hair again and picked her up in his arms. He kissed her lips once and carried her back over to the bed. She smiled up at him and Theresa came through her eyes again. He shivered in the dark, but smiled back at her. She patted down his hair and closed her eyes.

"Night, Daddy." She yawned and Theresa disappeared again. He kissed her forehead and stood up.

"Night, honey."

He walked out of the room and fell against the door. She was looking more like her. Especially her eyes. Her huge, dark, haunting eyes that could always see through his thick eyelids and through to his mind. Her soft, slightly pouting lips that could make his knees crumble. They were in his nine year old.

"Ryan, honey? Something wrong?"

Kirsten patted his hair just the way that Jenn had. He smiled distantly.

"No. Fine."

"Honey..."

Kirsten sat down next to Ryan and leaned her head on his shoulder. He sighed.

"What if she came back?"

Kirsten had no idea who he was talking about, but listened anyway.

"Would I be happy? Relieved? I mean, if my mom came back would I be happy? Relieved? What about Jenn? What if she doesn't even remember her? What if she becomes her? What if she doesn't care to remember? I know Summer's good for her, but what if she actually came back? Would it be better? What would _I_ do? You know that we were playing the husband and wife thing before she left? I was going to propose to her because, I don't know, it was the right thing to do. I bought a ring and she left her daughter."

Kirsten shifted her head.

"Did you love her?"

"I don't know."

"You should."

"I know."

"Did she love you?"

"I don't know."

She nodded and looked at the eyes that still wouldn't let her break through. After ten years, they still wouldn't let her break through. Gently, she placed a kiss on his cheek and smiled.

"You'll know."

He ducked his head and nodded faintly.

"Okay."

She patted his arm another time and walked down the stairs. He rolled his head to the other side and stood up himself. He walked over to the stairs and right into Summer.

"Oh! Dear god, you scared me."

"Sorry. So how is he?"

"Hmm?"

"That's where you were, right? How is he?"

She pulled a piece of paper and shoved it into Ryan's fist.

"You ask."

She turned around and walked back down the stairs and into the living room. He looked at the piece of paper in his hand and shoved it into his back pocket before following her into the living room.

Marissa was nearly sleeping with her head on her husband's lap and Summer sat on the floor next to her. Mr. and Mrs. Cohen were in the two opposite chairs half asleep themselves. Marissa was still slowly mumbling in her state of drowsiness a fast song that Ryan knew nearly as well as she did.

"I'd like to tell you, like to tell you. Tell you everything. Cause nothing changes, ever changes. Nothing seems the same these days. Dave's been a mess since Cheryl left. Just sits at home and beats back death. And Beth still wears his stupid dress."

Ryan fell down on the floor, his hands on his chest and murmured the same words until Marissa faded out to let him sing. She oh'ed.

"There goes Joe Caparo again, with Darren's girlfriend. They're asking where ya been, like I know. Where ya been? Hey Summer, where ya been?"

Marissa turned her head slightly and smiled at him.

"I tried to tell you, tried to tell you. Just took a little bit too long. And now your phone is disconnected. And your shit's out on the lawn. The hardback cafe closed down. Now we've got Office Town. You shoulda stuck around."

"There go Ross and Frank again. They're holding hands. They're asking where ya been. Like I know where ya been. Hey Summer, where ya been?"

She nodded to him and they half sung, half spoke the last verse.

"Ooh, ooh, ooh. I could take a train or fly away. Maybe write a book or change my name. I could settle down."

Marissa smiled and rolled over all the way.

"How do _you_ know that song?"

"Seth."

She nodded and rolled back over halfway so she was staring at the ceiling.

"Everything's upside down. I like that one."

Ryan nodded. Kirsten opened her eyes.

"Ben Folds."

Marissa nodded. "That's right."

"He loved him. Especially when he was fourteen." Kirsten nodded.

Summer pushed her head back so she could look at Marissa. "That's the guy who sang The Luckiest?"

Marissa nodded as she ran her fingers through Summer's hair. Summer put her hands under her head and pulled her legs up. They all were nearly asleep now, the only person actually seeing anything clearly was Ryan. The phone. And he felt that thin slice of paper in his pocket.

"Hey you guys, I'm going to bed."

They all held up a hand at the same time in some sort of a wave and he left to sit on the stairs. He grabbed his cell phone from the counter and dialed the number on the piece of paper. It rang a few times, but soon enough, Seth's exhausted voice came on.

"Yeah?"

"Seth. Man, hey."

"Ryan? Oh hey, um, hi."

"Hi."

Ryan tapped his index finger a few times against the phone and sighed. He heard Seth do the same on the other side.

"Hey, Ryan? You know, uh, things with you and me don't have to be reduced to awkward silences and dramatic outbursts. We _could_ still be, I dunno, maybe friends?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"So, um, Jenn's been talking about you."

"Really?"

"Apparently she likes you."

"Well, that's good."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"So, what I wanted to say was, I mean, man, I didn't mean to chase you out of your own house. So I, you know, feel really bad about that and all. And I know if you came home, that would do a whole lot of good, I mean, especially for Sandy because your mom's still not talking to him. And you know, for Jenn too because she keeps asking me when you'll get home. And for Summer, because I think everyone can see she really misses you when you're not around. And, I dunno, for me too I guess."

"You know she's your mom too."

"What?"

"You don't have to call her my mom. She's your mom too."

"Right. I dunno."

"It would make her happier. A lot happier."

"Okay. I'll, uh, think about it. And will you?"

"What?"

"You know, think about it. Coming home."

"Yeah, sure. I mean, if it's for Mom."

"Okay, cool, man. So...maybe I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"Cool. So, uh, night, man."

"Yeah. And Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

"Just thought you might like to know that I'm, uh, well, today I kind of took your advice. There was no one for me to bother, so I went down to the docks and I, I got a job."

"Really? Man, that's-that's really, really good."

"Yeah. And it's something I can do from home, so I was thinking about finishing you know, those last years of high school. And I-I called the dean, and she said that she'd have me and I could do it at night and probably-probably finish it in maybe one year instead of two. As long as I worked my ass off and, you know, got all my credits. Because apparently she thought I was smart, or something. So I'm going to do that too."

"Maybe I should kick your ass out more often, huh?"

"Right. So, um, bye man."

"Sorry. I didn't mean it like that. But I'll see you, right?"

"Yeah. I'll be around."

"And you'll do that thing, you know, for Sandy."

"I'll think about it."

"You know, uh, Jenn says that saying that means you'll never do it. It's just something to say."

"I'll think differently than you think. Bye, Ryan."

"Bye."

Ryan hung up the phone and looked at it in his hand. He nodded and tucked it back into his pocket. He'd said sorry, right?

_"Where's Summer B.?" written by Ben Folds and Darren Jesse_

_Sorry this chapter ended up just being mostly filler, but I was trying to show life without Seth. Next chapter brings our favorite water polo player into the story, Marissa and Brendan's relationship, and of course a tad bit of Seth/Summer because I'm a wuss. Peace and love..._


	6. Rebound

_None of it's mine. Peace and love..._

"Hello?"

"Hey, kid."

"Daddy! How are you?"

"I'm good, Chris. Where are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Where are you right now?"

"The kitchen."

"Sitting at the table?"

"Yeah, why?"

Luke pulled his phone away from his ear and wrapped his arms around his son's neck from behind. Chris shrieked but turned around and laughed.

"Daddy, when'd you get back?"

"Last night. I needed to see my kid."

Chris grinned and shrieked louder as Luke pulled him up out of his chair and turned him upside down. Luke laughed and lightly panted.

"So how are you, kid?"

"Well, the blood's rushing to my head and the world is _upside down_, but besides that, I'm just peachy."

Luke laughed and put the kid back on his feet. Chris grinned up at him with an identical grin to the one staring down at him. Luke messed up his hair.

"Where's your mom?"

"Uh...I think the pool house. She might be out though."

"Okay, I'll look. Wanna come?"

"No, I have homework to do."

"Good kid. Get it over with. See, your dad was always a stupid kid who put it off until Monday morning."

"Really?"

"Usually."

Chris laughed and hugged his father before watching him saunter out of the kitchen. That was one thing that was kind of hard for him. Watching his dad and his mom talk to each other. Because they explained it to him, said they both loved him and they loved each other, and Chris shouldn't worry about it. And Chris wanted to worry about it and want them to be together, but he didn't. Because Mommies and Daddies should be in love and always kissing and stuff like Grandmom and Grandpa, but Mommy and Daddy didn't. They smiled at each other, but not like Mommy smiled at Seth.

Luke knocked on the panel next to the door before walking in and seeing Summer lying on her bed, reading some book.

"Hey, Sum."

"Luke! Oh, hey, it's good to see you."

She stood up and hugged him while placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Have you seen Chris?"

He nodded and sat on the bed next to her as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

"So what's new with you?"

Summer sighed and fell back onto her bed.

"I'm confused. Again. And had a big fight with Ryan. Again. And Chris was upset with me. Again. So new? Nothing really."

"Care to explain?"

"You want to hear the troubles of my life?"

"Came back for it, babe."

"Okay? So, um, have you talked to Ryan recently?"

Luke shook his head and pulled his feet up onto the bed too. Summer shrugged.

"Okay, so you don't know about the life changing event that happened last Saturday?"

"Unfortunately not until you tell me."

"We kind of got a surprise."

"Hence the life changing."

"Right. Um...Seth kind of...came back."

"Are you serious? How is he? Did you guys get back together?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Yeah. And everyone seems to be ganging up on me because of it."

"Even Ryan?"

"Especially Ryan."

"That must suck."

Summer rolled her eyes. "Very observant."

"Okay. Is he here?"

"No. He's out with Ryan."

"Isn't that self contradictory?"

"Ooh, Luke, big word. And no. They made up."

"Okay. So Ryan's not mad at you anymore?"

"I don't think so."

"You don't think so?"

"I mean, he kind of doesn't like the idea of me and Seth too much."

"So you guys did get back together."

"Yes. No. I have no idea."

"Did you guys, like, just make out?"

She shot him another look. "God, Luke, it's good to know _some_ people are still exactly the same from when they were sixteen."

"What? I'm asking a question as a concerned adult."

"A concerned adult who just came back from Hawaii where he was playing with cars that make big noises."

"Someone's gotta do it, baby."

"You're so strange."

"Okay."

She shook her head and picked up the book she had dropped on the floor. She opened it to her page after licking her finger. Luke kissed her forehead.

"So, you're good?"

She nodded without looking up and he grinned while getting up and strolling out of the pool house.

"That's my girl."

"I'm not your girl."

"Having my baby, what a lovely way of saying how much you love me." Luke sang in an oddly good falsetto.

Summer shook her head slowly, but looked up to see him walking seemingly drunkenly back over to the main house.

Ryan grabbed the newspaper that had remained unnoticed on the driveway and started browsing through it as he walked up the driveway. Seth jogged up behind him and read the headlines over his shoulder.

"Dude, looking for something?" Ryan asked.

"No."

"Then stop breathing on my neck."

"Stop being in my way."

"You want it?" Ryan extended the newspaper in front of him but Seth shook his head.

"No, that's okay."

Ryan straightened out the paper and looked back at the front page. Seth leaned his head over to read alongside him and sighed as hard as he could on Ryan's shoulder. Ryan threw the paper on the ground and turned around, throwing his hands out.

"You want to do this now, sailor boy? I'll take you."

"Go ahead, daddy-o. You've got nothing." Seth closed his mouth in a silent oh and blew out. Ryan shook his head and laughed.

"Dude, your defense is exhaling."

"You called me 'sailor boy.'"

"Truce?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Ryan picked up the paper and handed it to him. Seth looked at it for a second, but shook his head and handed it back.

"No, thanks. I'm done."

Ryan shook his head and muttered "asshole."

"Hi Jenn."

Ryan's head popped up instinctively, but shoved Seth in the chest the next second.

"You're pretty funny, man."

"It's what I live for."

Chris ran out of the house laughing his head off. He ran right into Seth while looking over his shoulder and said his sorry without looking at him. Luke followed him out of the house with an identical grin and grinned farther when he saw Ryan and Seth.

"Hey, you guys. It's good to see you. Ryan." He shook Ryan's hand and clapped him on the back. "Seth, man, it's good to have you back." He hugged Seth, and even though he looked a little overwhelmed, Seth thumped him on the back too.

"Yeah, Luke, uh, it's good to see you too, man."

Luke didn't notice the uncertainty in his voice, so his grin was still very visible on his face.

"Are you staying here? Your mom must be beyond happy."

"Yeah, um, I sleep here." Seth bobbed his head and kept his hands in his pockets.

"That's awesome, man." Chris ran back at his dad who lifted him into the air. "Hey, little man, this is your _namesake_. He's like the ultimate to your mom."

Chris smiled a half smile. "I know."

"Have you guys been getting along? That must've really made Summer happy."

Chris shrugged; Seth started to smile.

"We've been working on it," Seth said.

"Yeah? Work hard, man, Summer would love that." Luke threw Chris backwards over his shoulder and hung on to his legs. "Did you finish your homework?"

"_Dad_, let me _down_."

"Did you?"

"Almost."

"Go finish."

Luke swung him around his head and placed him back on his feet. Chris sighed and ran back into the house. Seth crossed his arms.

"You guys are close?" He asked with his brow furrowed.

Luke shrugged. "He's a good kid. Smart. Respectful. What's not to like?"

"But you guys hang out a lot?" Ryan nudged Seth lightly, but Seth ignored it.

Luke shrugged again. "When I can."

"When you can? He's your son." Ryan nudged him a little harder.

"Yeah, well, I have work and..."

"So you just leave Summer to do this alone?" Seth started nudging Ryan back.

Luke shook his head and mimicked Seth's arm cross. "I care for my son and his mother, man; I don't know what you're talking about. I help as much as I can."

"But you're not usually here."

"I'm here at least once a month."

"Once a month? Real committed father."

"Look, man, I don't know where you're coming off of, but you're never here."

"He's not my son."

"Yeah, you're right. He's not. He's mine. So shut your mouth on giving me parenting tips." Luke uncrossed his arms and let them hang by his side.

"It's not parenting tips to tell you that you should be around for the raising of your son."

"Well at least I don't leave the people that love me for a dozen years just because I don't want to deal with them."

Seth lunged forward; Ryan ran in front of him and pushed him back. "Dude, calm down." Luke lunged forward too and started trying to help Seth push Ryan aside. Ryan turned sideways and put a hand on each of their chests.

"You guys, come on. We were just talking." Ryan shouted in both of their general directions.

"He wanted it." Luke pushed harder and pulled off his jacket.

"He deserves it." Seth pulled off his jacket and threw it on the ground next to Luke's. He had gotten bigger in nine years and suddenly the emo geek actually had a chance in taking the water polo player. Ryan would even bet on Seth because he was pissed about Summer.

They glared at each other with darkening eyes, while trying not to make it obvious that they were weighing each other out through their tee shirts.

"Ryan, get out of this." Luke murmured.

"Yeah, man, move." Seth was barely blinking.

"You guys, really, this is stupid. Just walk away." Ryan looked from guy to guy.

"Chris!" Summer came running out of the pool house covered with a towel, but she stopped when she saw the three of them staring at her.

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" Summer's smile started to fade. Luke and Seth looked up and Ryan lowered his hands.

"Nothing, Summer." Luke scratched the back of his neck and put on a fake smile. Summer furrowed her eyebrow and walked over to them. All three pairs of their eyes slid down to the white towel she was holding up against her.

She laughed. "You guys really are strange. And I'm going to find out what the hell you guys were up to. Because one of you, my dears, is a blabbermouth." She winked and walked away to the house. Simultaneously, they all let out a breath and shook their heads. Seth bit the inside of a cheek; he'd never thought it was possible that she could become more beautiful.

Luke looked at the two of them and shook his head. "So which one of you is the blabbermouth? And wipe the slobber off your chin."

Seth shook his head. "No, it has to be you."

"As if, Cohen. You're still a bitch for her," Luke said.

"Ryan?" Seth turned to him. Ryan's arms were crossed and he was staring ahead.

"What?" He looked at the two of them and shrugged. "I guess, Luke."

Luke shook his head. "Whatever, I don't have time to discuss this with you guys. I'm going to help Chris with his homework. Later."

As soon as he was out of earshot, Seth laughed. "Dude, it's so obviously you."

"What? I thought it was Luke."

"That was just to piss off Luke. You're the blabbermouth."

"You wish. You know he's right? You'll always be her bitch."

"Oh really? Well, when you're alone in bed with your daughter, just think that in the past week, I have been the one to get some. Later, babe."

He clapped Ryan's cheek and walked toward the house. Ryan shook his head but followed him.

* * *

After dinner, everyone went outside around the pool while Seth and Summer cleared the table

"So what were you guys talking about?" Summer stacked three plates on top of each other and started walking to the dishwasher.

"Nothing. Catching up."

"You looked like you wanted to kill each other. What is it?" She dumped the plates on the counter and bent down to pull it open. Seth leaned his head back but shook his head.

"It's nothing. Nothing important anyway."

"You never liked him."

"I didn't ever _not_ like him. He was just...I guess years of pissing in my shoes are hard to forgive."

"Aww." Summer leaned against the dishwasher and grinned. Seth shook his head.

"Not aw. Ew."

She laughed and grabbed his wrist to pull him closer. She caught his watch on her bracelet and laughed again.

"God, nothing's going right."

"Things don't look so bad from here." He cupped her wrist in his hand as he twisted her bracelet off his watch band. She smiled and leaned forward to kiss his nose. He smiled lightly and freed her wrist from his. She used her liberated hand to wind her fingers with his.

"Isn't it funny how when I look at you, I can't remember ever being mad at you."

"Hilarious."

She giggled. "Rhetorical question."

"Okay."

He ducked his head and kissed her gently, pressed up against the dishwasher. She pushed it on and wrapped her arm around his neck.

"Seth..." She was barely whispering, but he kept kissing her jaw and down her shoulder blade. "I love you."

He straightened up and brought his arm up to his head. "Um, we should, uh, finish, um..."

"It's done."

"Oh. Okay. So, uh, outside? All right, cool. Race you."

Seth jogged out the glass door. Summer crossed her arms and leaned against the dishwasher. She bit her lip and slowly followed him out.

Seth was sitting in between Ryan and his mother with his legs dangling in the pool. He laughed nervously after something Ryan said and glanced quickly at her. Summer sat down next to Luke and smiled at the sleeping boy in his lap. Luke laughed too and his arm fell behind her shoulders. Summer glanced back up at Seth who looked away as soon as her head moved.

"So, Marissa. I want to hear more about Paris." Kirsten tapped her leg and smiled. Marissa just shrugged.

"The butlers are really nice. I felt stupid not knowing French though. They all were trying so hard and I was like, 'bonjour.'" Marissa laughed as her phone rang. "Oh, sorry. That's Brendan. He had dinner with some client. Hello?" She stuck her finger in her ear and turned her head away.

"Daddy, you should tell them about Miss Spen..." Ryan threw a hand over Jenn's mouth and shook his head.

"Jenn, shouldn't you be going to bed?"

"A _miss_, Ryan?" Kirsten tapped his head and Ryan blushed.

"It's no big deal. Jenn just talks too much." He glared at her and she glared back. Kirsten laughed.

"I don't talk too much. And it _is_ a big deal. Miss Spencer was all over you. _Hello_, Mr. Atwood." Jenn batted her eyelashes and they all laughed again.

"Good for you, man." Seth patted his back and grinned sheepishly. "So how does _Jenn_ know her?"

Ryan blushed even harder. "She's kind of, Jenn's doctor."

The pool erupted with laughs and claps. Ryan glared at Jenn again.

"Thanks, honey, for bringing that up."

"I love you too, Daddy." Jenn said between laughs.

"So, Jenn, is she pretty?" Kirsten looked at the girl sitting next to her.

Jenn nodded. "Very pretty. Dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, and a really good butt."

Ryan's eyes widened and he ignored the laughs. "What did you say?"

Jenn shrugged and did her best to look innocent. "What?"

"Yeah, it really is time for you to go...to...bed. Now. Say good night."

"But Dad..."

"Come on."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her up and into the house as she shouted goodnights to everyone. Luke's arm had fallen a little more onto Summer's shoulders and his hand gently tapped a rhythm on one. He nodded to Summer.

"You're quiet. Is something wrong?"

"Hmm?" She looked up and over at him with a smile. "Fine. Just...I'm just tired."

"You want to go to bed? I can help with Chris."

"Um, yeah, I guess. Thanks."

"Yeah, no problem." Luke shifted Chris into one arm and took Summer's hand to help her stand up. "Goodnight, you guys." He smiled and Summer nodded.

She looked at Seth for another second as Luke took her hand again and led her to the pool house. Seth looked over at his mother and to Marissa who had hung up her phone.

"Are they always like that? Like they're married?"

Kirsten shrugged and Marissa mimicked her.

"I don't know; I guess it's just natural since they have Chris and all," Marissa said.

"It's hard for Summer sometimes, you know, honey? She feels a little looked down upon because she's a single mom. And I guess it's comforting." Kirsten rubbed gentle circles into Seth's back and he nodded.

"Yeah, but with the arm and everything. Why don't they just get back together?"

Marissa shook her head. "They were never really together. It literally was, like, one week. One second you see her hanging all over him and kissing him at prom, and the next she slaps him and tells him to leave her alone."

"Did he do something to her?"

Marissa shook her head again. "I think she got tired of him. She wasn't really into him, it was just easier, you know? And she needed a date for prom."

"They went to prom together?"

Marissa and Kirsten nodded. Kirsten added, "They won Prom King and Queen. They smiled for the picture, but the next day they were ignoring each other."

"He's a little protective of her though, isn't he?"

Marissa shrugged. "I guess on some level he loves her, but like I love you, you know? It doesn't mean anything. Especially since he was her rebound romance after you."

Seth was still trying to process the fact that she had said 'I love you.' I love you. God, that was fast. But he snapped out of it and nodded.

"He was her first boyfriend after the, uh, summer?"

Marissa shook her head. "No, but they were all rebounds. I mean, she was partying harder than she had ever before and each guy didn't last longer than Luke did. But I guess he was because we never considered those guys her boyfriends."

"Oh."

Kirsten looked over at Marissa. "She hasn't really dated a lot, has she? I mean, even after Chris has grown up and she _could_ date."

Marissa nodded. "Just, like, go to dinner and then she says she'll call them. I don't know if it's that she's scared because she has a kid or if she's just not interested in the whole dating thing, you know? But Summer never was. She always just liked having the guy flirt with her, and then the next day it was over. Except for you." She tapped Seth's shoulder and he nodded.

"Except for me."

"Well, I mean, she really loved you. And I guess you were a hard act to follow. Even to come before. You were, like, the climax of her life."

There was that love word again. He nodded slowly and smiled faintly.

"I'm going to go to bed. Good night." He kissed his mom and Marissa's cheeks and walked up the stairs to his room.

Marissa looked at Kirsten and grinned. "He really still likes her."

Kirsten nodded. "How cute would they be?"

Marissa giggled. "And Summer needs it."

Luke came jogging out of the pool house and smiled at the two of them.

"Well, I'm going to take off. Mrs. Cohen, thank you for dinner and everything. Marissa." He kissed her hand and smiled at Kirsten. "I'll see you ladies later."

He walked off to his car and drove away. Marissa giggled again.

"Luke's never going to change, is he?"

Kirsten shook her head. "No."

"You think he likes Summer?"

Kirsten shrugged. "I can't imagine him not. He really is protective of her."

Marissa nodded. "But who do you think Summer likes?"

Kirsten turned and looked at Marissa and Marissa looked back. They both started laughing.

"I thought high school was the end of these triangles," Marissa said.

"Oh honey. Life's always hard. Especially when beautiful women and men are involved. And it just gets harder. This triangle has a kid involved."

Marissa nodded. "So do you think she's going to do anything about it?"

"Marissa, did you see Seth tonight? Terrified. I think she did."

_Okay, so I'm really glad that came out like it did. I really had a case of writer's block and this didn't suck nearly as much as I thought it would. Luke's staying around for a while, but please don't hate him. He's a fun person to write and he has good intentions. Please leave a review and thanks for listening. Peace and love..._


	7. Silhouette

_Josh Schwartz is the man. Peace and love..._

"Mom, why is Dad always here?"

Summer pulled a few sheets out of the dryer and held them up in front of her.

"Why, honey? Don't you like him here?"

"Yeah. But he usually doesn't stay around here all the time."

"Well, usually he goes and chases the ladies. Maybe he met one already."

Chris licked the side of his thumb and pushed his lip down. After thinking about it another minute, he pushed his thumb inside his mouth and threw big eyes at his mom, wondering if she'd notice. She didn't.

"Are you going out today, honey?"

She turned around with her hands on her hips and sighed when she saw the thumb in his mouth. "Baby, you don't want to do that. It'll mess up your teeth."

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just don't do it again. Now, are you going out today?"

He nodded. "Uncle Ryan said he could get me sailing lessons. I want a boat."

"Yeah?"

He nodded again. Summer smiled and bent down to kiss his cheek.

"Have fun."

She patted down his hair and walked out of the room. Chris looked at his thumb again, but tucked his hand in his jeans pocket instead before following his mother out of the room.

Luke walked in the front door and smiled at Chris and waved across the room.

"Hey, kid. You going somewhere?"

Chris nodded as Ryan walked down the stairs.

"Hi Chris. You ready?"

He nodded again and slapped Luke a high five on the way out. He sat in the seat next to Ryan and tapped Ryan on the shoulder. Ryan looked over and Chris crooked his finger to him. Ryan leaned over and Chris whispered in his ear, "I think my daddy likes my mommy."

Chris brought a finger to his lips and Ryan nodded. "Why do you think?"

"Because he's always over looking at her."

"Your mommy's very pretty."

Chris nodded. "I think Daddy has a major crush on her."

"Did he tell you that?"

Chris shook his head. "I figured it out myself."

"What do you think about it?"

He shrugged. "I don't think my mommy likes him like he likes her."

"Why not?"

"Because I think she likes Seth."

"And what do you think about that?"

Chris shrunk down in his seat and looked over at Ryan with big eyes and brought his finger to his lips again. Ryan nodded, and Chris whispered, "I don't like Seth that much."

"Why not?"

"I know he's your friend but I don't think he's very nice is all."

"Why not?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know him that well."

"I know. But I just think the guy my mommy likes should like me. And I don't think Seth likes me."

"What happened to Uncle Seth?"

Chris shrugged. "He's not like you. I don't know him. He's not my real uncle, anyway. Because uncles don't marry mommies. Like you wouldn't marry my mommy."

"You think Seth would?"

Chris grinned. "My mommy is _very_ pretty."

Ryan laughed and nodded. "You're right. Well, try to get to know him, okay? Because I knew him a long time ago and he was _very_ nice. And if you really want to try to get to know him, I think you'll find out that he's still pretty nice."

Chris shrugged again. "I don't know."

Ryan reached his hand over and rubbed Chris's shoulder. "I love your mommy, Chris. And so you know I'll always look out for her. And she and Seth were together when I knew him. And I really think she likes him and he likes her. So give him a shot."

Chris looked out of the window and nodded. Ryan sighed and started driving.

Luke knocked on the door to the pool house and got a "come in." He opened it and smiled at Summer lying on the floor. He lay down next to her and followed her stare at the ceiling.

"What are we looking at?"

"I don't know."

"How long have you not known what you were looking at?"

"Like ten minutes."

"You're pretty damn bored."

"Yes, sir."

"So, uh, do you know where Chris went?"

"Yeah, Ryan's taking him down to the marina. He wants to learn to sail so we can buy him a boat. And by we, I mean you."

"Well, of course."

"Yup."

"So, Ryan and Chris are down at the docks. Mr. and Mrs. Cohen are at work. Where's Seth?"

She shrugged. "I think he said he had work to do too."

"So we're alone."

She nodded. "We can have a girls' afternoon."

"If that means pillow fight in our p.j.s I am all for that idea."

"Ew."

"You know that's the first time you've said ew in five years?"

"You counted?"

"Of course."

"You're more bored than I am."

Summer sighed and brought her hands behind her head. Luke watched her tee shirt slide up her stomach leaving a sliver of midriff between her shirt and her jeans.

"So, uh, what should we do?"

"I don't know. I think you should entertain me."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Something fun."

Luke looked back at her stomach and the curve of her breasts' silhouette though her tee shirt. He sighed and leaned back onto one of his arms.

"I'll think."

"You do that."

Ryan pulled up at the docks and got out with Chris. They walked down to the water, where Seth was trailing his legs in the water. He grinned when he saw Ryan and bit his tongue when he saw Chris. Oh. Now he got it.

Ryan grinned and slapped him on the back. "Hey, man, you miss the water?"

"Not even a little bit."

"That's good. So Chris, I bet you didn't know Seth here is an _excellent_ sailor and if you want to learn, there is no better person to teach you than him. And he'll do it for free and I'm broke."

Chris stared up at Ryan and Ryan stared back. Seth looked from guy to guy. Chris looked at Seth and shrugged.

"Whatever."

Ryan grinned. "Good. But, oh shoot, I have to go. Sorry, um, Jenn has a...thing. Have fun you guys."

Ryan winked at Seth and Seth shot him a look.

"Ryan, are you sure? I mean, you could stay."

"No, Seth, I mean, I'd like to, but I really can't."

"I think you really can."

"Sorry, dude. Later."

Ryan waved his hand and jogged back over to his car and drove away. Seth looked at Chris as Chris crossed his arms.

"So, uh, why do you want to learn?" Seth scratched his head.

"I want a boat." Chris crossed his arms tighter across his chest.

"Okay. Um, let's go then. Right over there."

Seth pointed at the boat that had lasted longer than he ever thought it would. Chris walked ahead of him and sat in front of the boat swaying in the wind.

"The Summer Breeze?"

"Uh, that's right."

"My mom's name is Summer."

"Yes."

"And your boat's name is Summer."

"Yes."

"That's a real coincidence, isn't it?"

"Um, not really. When I-when I got this-this boat, I kind of had this big crush on her mom. And so, yeah."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Did my mom ever go sailing?"

"Um, no, actually, I don't think I ever got a chance to take her."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So, um, you want to get started?"

Chris shrugged and Seth helped him onto the boat.

Ryan looked behind him for reasons he didn't know, and slowly pushed the door open. The whole room was so white. He walked up to the reception desk and, slightly embarrassed, looked up at the pretty seventeen year old receptionist. She smiled at him.

"Can I help you? You look a little old for a pediatrician."

"Yeah, um, is Jamie here?"

"Dr. Spencer? Yeah, um, she has a break in, like, a half hour."

"Oh."

"But, um, if you really wanted to see her _now_, I guess I could get you into a room."

"But I don't have my kid."

"Then don't tell anyone, Romeo."

The blonde winked and pointed to the door.

"What use are you going to be out here?"

He shrugged and walked through the door. The receptionist followed him and held out her hand.

"Kathy. I think seventeen's open."

"Thanks." He smiled as his cheeks reddened and walked into the room directly in front of him. Kathy giggled and walked back to her desk.

Ryan looked around the perfectly white and beige room. He ran his hand down the counter and looked at his perfectly clean hand. Nothing. He looked around the room, there wasn't even the Cosmopolitan that was here the last time he was. He hopped up onto the table and leaned back on the perfectly white paper. He started counting ceiling tiles.

When he got to twenty four, the door opened and a woman with dark, dark brown hair pulled up into a ponytail walked in. He sat up immediately and her eyes grew.

"Mr. Atwood, uh, what are you doing here?"

"The receptionist let me in."

"Oh."

"Yeah, um, I wanted to-to talk to you again."

"Oh. Is, uh, is Jenn here?"

"No, she, um, had a play date thing."

"Oh. That's, um, that's good."

"Yeah."

"So, um did you have a question or something?"

"Uh, yeah. Can I have your number?"

"That's a line, isn't it?"

"I don't know."

"Yeah, well, um, sure. But I get off at noon, so that's another half hour here."

"Yeah, I know. The...receptionist told me. But, um, I'd like to take you out to lunch. I mean, if you want."

"Uh, yeah, that'd be...good. You want to come here again at noon, then?"

"Yeah. That'd be...yeah."

"Okay. So I'll see you later?"

"Yeah. Okay. See you later."

He smiled gently and walked out of the room and paused in the waiting room. He looked back at the door where she was standing on the other side and he looked at the door to walk out of the office. He even stole a glance at the receptionist watching him to see what he was going to do. Instead of walking out, he sat in the waiting room and watched Finding Nemo for what must have been the fifteenth time.

Luke rolled over onto his side and watched Summer watching the ceiling.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"Because you're more interesting than the ceiling."

"Okay, so that's a compliment?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Summer rolled onto her side too and raised her eyebrows.

"So, Luke, I was talking to Chris today, and he asked me why you're around here so much. So, why are you around so much?"

"I don't hang out with you guys as much as I should."

"Okay, but you just realized this?"

"You guys like having me around, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's good for Chris seeing you so much."

"And you?"

"I dunno; we never were that close, you know?"

"Well, that may be true, but I always think it's good to see you."

"Okay? Another compliment?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. So, do you have a girlfriend?"

"No."

"So why aren't you out looking for one? That's what you usually do here."

"I'm sorry. I wanted to spend time with my son and his beautiful mother."

Summer grinned out of the corner of her mouth. "Was that a line?"

"Maybe."

"Okay."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not used to the lines so much anymore. I have to keep up."

"That can't be true. You're just as beautiful and sexy as you were when you were sixteen. Even more so, if you ask me."

"Um, I don't exactly go out to parties so much anymore. Unless you count seven year old birthdays, where I get to bond with the thirty and forty year olds which is always a little awkward."

"Are they mean to you?"

"God, no. They just give me looks, you know? Like they blame me for keeping a figure of some kind."

"Jealous."

"I guess."

Luke brushed a strand of hair away from her cheek. Summer shivered and sat up.

"Um, so, girls. What happened to, um, what's her name...Charlene?"

"Eh. She was kind of a ditz, you know?"

"Oh. So you dumped her?"

"No, she dumped me. Hence why I'm calling her a ditz."

"Oh."

"That was a joke, Summer."

"Oh right."

"So, boys? Didn't you have some guy hanging around here? Looked pretty serious."

"Who, Jonathan? He was nobody."

"Oh. And what about Seth?"

"Don't we all want to know."

"You mean he hasn't snatched you up? If I were him, you and I would already be married with 2.5 kids, a dog, and a white picket fence."

"But you're not. And Seth's...different. And he's confused, that's all."

"About what? Whether or not he wants you? Whether or not he wants to go back into the middle of the Pacific?"

"I don't know, okay? Ask him."

"I think he's making a lot of stupid moves. If I were him, I would..."

"Luke, I think I have to go."

She pushed up off her hands to stand up, but Luke reached over a hand and stopped her.

"Don't. I'm sorry; that was out of line. Can we talk?"

Summer looked down at his hand on her arm and looked up at his eyes. He wasn't smiling.

Seth grabbed a coke and handed it to Chris. He took it and smiled slightly. "Thanks."

"Yeah, it's no problem."

He sat next to him and smiled back. They were floating two miles from shore, the sun starting to go down.

"So, Seth, where were you? I mean you show up all of a sudden from where?" Chris squinted as he leaned back on his elbows.

Seth sighed and leaned back onto his hands. "Last place I was was Rontuma. Small island in Fiji."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Was it pretty?"

"Yeah, it was pretty. All beaches. And clear too. You could see all the way to the next island."

"Wow. I'd like to go there."

"Yeah, um, remind me sometime and we'll go. Not for a while, though. It might be pretty, but not as pretty as it is here."

"You lived here before?"

Seth nodded. "Moved here when I was seven, just like you. I was born in Berkeley, that's in northern California. Moved here to look after my grandma and never left."

"Did you like it here?"

"I thought it was okay."

"Me too. It gets boring."

"Believe me, Chris. If you know the right people, it'll get a lot more interesting."

"Did you know the right people?"

Seth shrugged. "Not for the first nine years here. But when I was sixteen I met your Uncle Ryan, your mom, and Aunt Marissa. It got better."

"Yeah? Did you guys get in trouble?"

"Sometimes."

"Was my mom bad?"

"Sometimes, yeah."

Chris laughed and sighed. "Tell me more about Rotunda."

"Rontuma. I wasn't there long. Just a little more than a year. Prettiest island was Samoa. I'll take you there too."

"What did you do there?"

"Uh...slept a lot. Sailed. Did a lot of stuff I wish I didn't."

"Like what?"

"I, um, I dated a lot of women I shouldn't have."

"What was the prettiest one's name?"

"Honestly, Chris? I don't remember. I really didn't have fun with any of them."

"Why not?"

"Because what I was looking for I had left."

"My mom."

Seth turned his head and looked at him. Chris was looking at him with those big eyes. Seth nodded slowly.

"Yeah. Your mom."

"I know. I heard you talking to Uncle Ryan."

"Yeah? You were eavesdropping?"

"I had to."

"Okay. I can believe that. What else did you hear?"

"That you did more than date those girls."

"Oh. That. Um, yeah."

"It's okay. My mom told me all about sex. You can talk to me."

"Okay? What else did you hear?"

"I heard you missed my mom. Because when you lived here you were in like with her."

"I was more than in like with her, Chris."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"What was she like?"

"When we were sixteen? She was...funny. Sweet. Very nice. Beautiful. But she was scared too, you know? I think you helped her not be scared anymore."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She was scared of what people were going to say. She isn't anymore."

"She can get mean to people sometimes."

"That's Summer. But she means it for the best."

"That's what Uncle Ryan says."

"Uncle Ryan's very smart."

"What was he like?"

"He was very quiet. Didn't like talking so much. But he always stuck up for me when I needed it."

"I love Uncle Ryan."

"Me too."

"Do you love my mom?"

"I don't know."

"Why not?"

"Because...it's been a long time."

"But you know you love Uncle Ryan."

"Yeah, but that's different. Uncle Ryan's my brother. I have to love him. Like you have to love your mom. It's like a law."

"My mom was your girlfriend. Don't you have to love your girlfriend?"

"She was my girlfriend. I hurt her."

"But doesn't it hurt her when you don't say you love her too?"

"I don't know."

"I do. She's sad."

"You think?"

Chris nodded. "My mom gets quiet when she's sad. Usually she's very loud."

"Yeah."

"Yeah. So I think you should make her happier. Because I don't like it when she's sad. And I know you could make her happier."

"I thought you didn't like me."

"I didn't. But you're cool now."

"Yeah? Thanks, Chris."

"So I was nice to you so you should be nice to me. Go tell my mom you love her."

"It's not that easy."

"Yes it is. I want her to be happy and you want to make her happy. And it would make her happy if you said you loved her too."

"But I don't really know her anymore."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, it has been nine years."

"But you know if you still love her."

"I guess."

"Do you?"

Seth looked around and looked back at the kid's huge green eyes. He nodded.

"So go tell her."

"But..."

"Go."

"Right now?"

Chris nodded and shoved him a little. Seth looked down and looked back up with a grin.

"Okay. Let's do this."

Chris grinned too and they sat up together and start going back to shore.

Ryan checked his watch quickly. 12:34. He'd been here an hour and six minutes. The door opened and the woman with the dark brown hair came out wearing a white tank top and black jeans instead of the white coat he had seen earlier.

"I am so sorry. This whole thing took longer and the next guy came late and I can't believe you didn't leave."

"No, it's-it's okay."

"Um, if you still want to go out for lunch..."

"Yeah. Definitely."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Cool. Um, you know it would make sense to go to some sophisticated coffee shop, but would it be okay with you if we just hit a McDonald's or something?"

"Yeah, whatever you want."

"Awesome. I need a chicken thing. Don't ask. I go on McDonald's deprivation."

"I completely understand."

"Really? Cool. Let's, uh, let's go."

"Cool."

She smiled and he slowly offered her his hand. She smiled further and took it as they walked out of the office.

Chris and Seth stood in front of the pool house door and Chris kept his eyes on Seth.

"Should I knock or just walk in?" Seth asked with sweat running down his forehead.

"Just walk in."

"Why?"

"Because I dunno. Do it now."

"Okay."

Seth exhaled and shook his head.

"I can't do this."

"Yes, you can. Now do it or I'll have to do it."

"Yes. You do it."

"No. She knows _I_ love her. I have to love her, remember? You tell her."

"But I..."

"Don't be a total pussy now. We got to the door."

"Don't use that word. Your mom wouldn't like it."

"Sorry. My dad says it."

"Your dad says a lot of stuff you shouldn't."

"Stop avoiding the topic. Go."

"Okay, okay." Seth shook his arms and feet and pressed gently down on the doorknob. His hand was so sweaty that it just slipped off. He looked back at Chris.

"Go." Chris flicked his arm and nodded to the door.

"Okay." Seth exhaled again and pushed the door open.

On the floor, beside Chris's bed, Summer lay underneath Luke, her hands up the back of his shirt. He was kissing her neck and both of their eyes were closed.

Chris's mouth dropped and Seth moved to leave.

"Mom!"

Summer's eyes snapped open and she pushed Luke off of her.

"Chris, honey, um, uh..."

"Chris, your mom and I are back together."

Luke smiled a broken smile, but Summer shoved his arm.

"No, we're not. Honey, this isn't what you think it is."

"I should...go." Seth ran down the driveway; Chris was almost crying.

"I thought you said you didn't love him."

"Honey, it's complicated. I..."

"I thought you loved Seth."

"Honey, let's talk about this, okay?"

"You lied to me again. You said you didn't love Dad and that you guys were never getting back together. You said I was your only guy. You-you said..."

"Sweetheart, let's _talk_ about this."

"I think I should go." Luke pushed up on his knuckles, but Summer shoved him again.

"He's your son too. You can't just go and leave him to hate me."

"That's not what I meant. I mean, you guys have something to take care of and..."

"And you're his _father_."

"I know. And I'm not just running away. I..."

"Wait. Chris?"

Summer looked back at the doorway to see straight through to the pool.

"Dammit! Chris!"

She jumped up and ran out the door. Luke stayed on the floor.

_And I know this one was long but it kept going, so who was I to stop it? It gets longer too. Next chapter's the part two. Please leave a review. Peace and love..._


	8. Reassurance

Summer ran down the driveway, her head spinning. How far could he have gotten in two minutes? Who exactly was the one she was looking for? She ran back to the main house and ran through the rooms, yelling. She got upstairs and opened the door to Seth's bedroom. Empty. Tears were starting to fall down her face. She fell sideways onto Seth's bed and ran her fingers through her hair. Slowly, she sat up and slid down onto the dark blue carpet. The carpet she had danced on, made out on, slept on. The carpet that brought back memories. A few days before the shower for Julie and Caleb she and Seth had been at the beach when all of a sudden the sky broke and it rained. Hard. Seth had rolled over on top of her and said he was keeping her dry. She said it would make more sense to go back to the car. He said this was easier. She laughed and kissed his wet face and he had looked at her like she was perfect. Luke looked at her like he could see underneath her clothes.

She wiped her eyes and didn't notice the mascara that had streaked down her cheeks and up to her ears. She walked out of the room and went back downstairs, thinking of the places Chris could've gotten to by now.

Back in Seth's room, the closet door creaked open and Chris crawled out. He stayed sitting on the floor and squinted his eyes. He saw a picture frame lying upside down on the ground and he picked it up. It wasn't a room he had seen before, but the walls were very red and blue and pretty. Uncle Ryan, Aunt Marissa, his mom, and Seth were lying in a bed with white curling metal behind them. Seth's arm was around his mom and he was kissing the top of her head. Uncle Ryan's arm was around Aunt Marissa and her eyes were closed. They were all grinning and Aunt Marissa was hugging a purple bear. They were young. And happy. His dad wasn't in it.

The door opened again and he looked up as Summer sighed and let her head fall into her hands.

"Oh, thank god. Chris...thank god." She put her hands down and hugged his head against her waist.

"Honey, don't be mad at me. Please." She bent down so they were eyelevel and smiled as she pushed the hair out of his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Mom." He looked away from her face and down at the frame in his hands. She followed his stare and smiled at the picture.

"I remember that day. We had so much fun."

"How old were you?"

"Sixteen."

"And Aunt Marissa was Uncle Ryan's girlfriend?"

"Yeah. That's right."

"And you were Seth's girlfriend."

"Mm-hmm."

"Did you love him?"

"Honey, why are you doing this?"

"Did you love him?"

Summer brought her hand up to her hair and sighed. But she nodded. "Yeah."

"And he loved you?"

She nodded again. Chris nodded and looked back at the picture. "Do you love Daddy?"

"Chris, honey, please..."

"Do you?"

"I don't know, honey."

"Do you love Seth?"

"Baby..."

"I'm not going to flip out on you. You do. I know. And he loves you too."

"How do you know that?"

"He told me."

"So now he can tell you things he can't tell me?"

"He wanted to tell you."

"Honey, this all is complicated. And I know you want to help, but maybe you should just let me and Seth take care of it."

"I don't know where he is."

"I'll find him."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"What about Dad?"

Summer stood up and shook her head. "God, um, I don't know. I told you it was complicated."

"Just tell Dad you don't love him and tell Seth that you do love him."

"Yeah, well, I don't know how easily I can do that."

"Why?"

"Because, I...I don't know."

"Okay."

He smiled and kissed her cheek before walking out of the room. Summer shook her head and walked out of the room too. She had to figure out whether to stay here and take care of Luke or go find Seth. She saw Luke walking in the glass door and decided Luke she could deal with later.

After finding keys to someone's car, she had lost track whose, she drove around the town thinking of possible places he could have gone. After ten minutes of aimless driving, she got it. She turned around the car and sped off to the endless sky. She stopped at the ocean and saw him standing in the wet sand, the waves just barely touching his ankles.

Summer glanced down at her tee shirt and jeans that were still a little disheveled and thought about her hair that couldn't be any better, but she walked to him anyway. She stood behind him, and she knew he knew she was there. Gently she leaned her head on his back.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"The whole...you know I could never really love a guy that shaved his chest for years."

He bit back a laugh, but shrugged.

"And you know that I don't exactly throw words around. And that I do care for..."

"Summer? Do you remember that day when it was raining? And we just stayed here, getting soaked?"

She nodded, but realized he couldn't see her, so murmured, "Yeah."

"Do you ever think about it?"

"Sometimes."

"I do all the time. It was the only time I really had you. And it sucks how I couldn't realize how lucky I was and just suck as much of you up as I could. Because it can never really _be_ like that again. And it's just a memory."

"I know."

"I used to have dreams about it. The wet sand that weighed way too much staining your white shirt. And then I'd wake up in some place that was way too sunny and you weren't beneath me. And it just sucked."

"I missed you too."

"It's more than that. I missed what it felt like to know someone was there for me. Because you were here. You were always here, and I was always...somewhere."

"I used to make up stories of where you were. Usually when Chris was almost asleep but he wanted me to tell him a story. I'd tell him about the perfect guy playing on the beach and drinking drinks with umbrellas and finding the perfect girl and falling in love on the beach. It felt good to think you were happy."

"I wasn't. I was miserable."

"Me too."

"So what are we doing? Things don't have to be like this. It would've been so much easier if you were just fucking married." He kicked a pile of sand in front of him. "So much easier. I could've moved on."

"I wouldn't want you to."

"God, Summer, why do you have to..." He spun around and looked at her, her head falling onto his chest instead. "Why do you have to make this so hard? It's not so hard to just say get out of my life. Make me _go_, because I wouldn't be able to do it if I thought you wanted me here."

"But I _do_ want you here, and I want you to want to be here."

Tears were stinging his eyes, but he shook his head. "I don't want to be like this. I don't want to feel this much for you because I'm supposed to be building my life back."

"But can't I help you with that?"

"I don't know. You're-you're the past. And I need a future."

"I can't be both? Everyone says we've changed so much so can't I have a second chance? Make you want to stick around?"

"I do. Want to stick around. But I want this to be easier than it is."

She picked her head up and looked him square in the eyes. "Do you want me?"

"I don't know."

"Why not?"

"Because I...you're just..."

"Can I help?"

She ran her hands down his neck and kissed him softly, but deepened it quickly. She felt the light pressure of his hands on her back and his eyelashes dance on her cheek. She ran her hands back around to the back of his head and pulled him closer to her. His chest was so warm through his tee shirt, and they suddenly looked like the perfect couple. Jeans and tee shirts, barf worthy of how matching they were. But they also fit together.

Summer pulled her lips down and buried her face back into his shirt. He was breathing heavily and the tears that were threatening his eyes were dampening his cheeks and he stared forward. His arms grew limp, but they still loosely held her. She had her arms wrapped tightly around his back and the wind made her hair blow in his face.

"Summer," he choked out. "I-I-I want you. I want you." He let the last sentence become a whisper and wrapped his arms tighter around her shoulders and kissed her hair. She was breathing as heavily as he was, and her makeup was nonexistent. She smelled like soap.

Slowly, she pulled out of his arms and smiled as she pushed away any hint of her own tears. "Yeah?"

Seth nodded and returned her small smile. He leaned his hand forward and held her hand up in front of him. He kissed it softly and turned it around to kiss her palm. He trailed his mouth up to her wrist and looked back up at her.

"Yeah." He smiled and smoothed the hair tucked loosely behind her ear. "But, let's just...let's take this slowly, okay? I mean, learn about each other, like, together."

She nodded and smiled back at him. She whispered softly, "Okay."

"Okay." He held her hand again and smiled out of the corner of his mouth.

"So do I get to kiss you again?"

"If you have to."

She grinned and pulled him even closer to her if that was possible. She closed the last space between them and kissed him gently at first but increasing the pressure as he moved his head. Suddenly he felt like he had known her forever. Longer than anyone else, at least. He'd been home a little less than a week, and he already forgot what it was like without her close against him. Her right leg was curling up his left and her hair was still in his face. He _knew_ her, no matter what Ryan wanted to tell him instead. He knew what nail polish matched her eyes; he knew the small hairs on the back of her hand; he knew where her shirt wrinkled when she danced; he knew what song played when would make her cry. And really, that was all that mattered to him.

After he nearly memorized her mouth, she turned her head and leaned her head back on his chest.

"What were you and Chris talking about?"

"You."

"What did he say?"

"He was asking."

"What did you say?"

"Well, he wanted to know what you were like when I was 'in like' with you. So I told him."

"He asked you if I got into trouble a lot."

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"He asks Ryan all the time. And Ryan has no problem with telling him all these long and very detailed stories about me when I was young. And sometimes, by young, I mean twenty-four. And then when I get mad at Chris, he throws it in my face. 'Well, Uncle _Ryan_ told me that _you_ were _bad_.'"

He laughed, gently moving her head.

"You weren't _that_ bad."

"Yeah, but it seems like more when all he did was not make his bed."

"He's a good kid."

"Yeah, I guess. He gets a whole lot of annoying. And then he goes off and plots with Ryan how to make fun of me next."

Seth laughed; it made her smile.

"So can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah."

"Wouldn't it be so much easier to just marry Luke already?"

"Easy."

"Yeah. I mean...you have Chris and I mean, Luke likes you. A lot."

"I know."

"And so..."

"Since when do I like making things easy for myself?"

"Since you made out with the father of your son on the floor."

"Which made the guy I really care about come to the beach and cry. Easy's not always all that good."

"So the whole reason you made out with your ex boyfriend on the floor is because you don't like things easy?"

Summer shook her head and looked up at him. "I was pissed. About a lot of things. And I guess, Luke was saying the right things. What I wanted to hear. From you. And maybe I was a little jealous that you could act all normal when you saw me. Because for me? You walk into a room and I forget how to talk."

He smiled and ducked his head. "Yeah, well, I start that rambling thing that I do so well. But I guess no one sees the difference."

She laughed. "You're never going to stop knowing how to exactly make me laugh."

"I sure as hell hope not."

Seth grinned and hugged her a little closer. Summer tilted her head and sighed gently.

"We have to go back home sometime, right?" She murmured into his shirt.

"So I've learned."

_Aw, okay, so deep in my heart I'm a sucker for all of this romantic comedy stuff. What can I say; I'm a chick. And thanks to ocfan108 for giving me my favorite review to date. I guess in some part I should thank Ozzy Osbourne for "Mama, I'm Coming Home" because that song really kept this chapter going. (I know it has nothing to do with the whole storyline in this chapter but I get inspiration in weird places, and I'm an emo girl. Anything with any speck of any kind of emotion gets me going) Great song; honor him along with Josh Schwartz. Thanks for caring; peace and love..._


	9. Comfort

_I own nothing except a couple dozen Adam Brody posters. Peace and love..._

Between Chris and Luke and Ryan breathing down their necks, Seth and Summer decided the whole declaration of love thing should be only for them to know. However, Kirsten found out. Kirsten swore not to tell. By the end of the day, everyone on the street knew. Kirsten blamed Jenn.

Surprisingly, it wasn't as big a deal as it could've been. It got awkward when Chris asked Seth if he was going to also be his daddy, but Chris liked whispering, so luckily Seth was the only one that knew about it. Ryan was happy, but Ryan had been really happy for a few days. He actually said congratulations and wished them luck. Kirsten was basically giddy, and apparently she rubbed off on a lot of people. Except Luke.

He had been sulking around for days, and finally found a way to talk to Seth four days later.

"So, uh, congratulations, man." Luke clapped Seth on the shoulder and nodded the other way.

"Uh, yeah."

"I just can't win anymore though, huh? First I lose Marissa to a guy from another city, and then I lose Summer to an emo geek?"

"Emo geeks are coming in style. Have you watched MTV recently?"

"Right. So, uh, I'm probably going to have to stay here for another week, so I would appreciate if you waited for me to leave to do the whole 'can't get enough of each other' part. You know?"

"Yeah, man. I'll do my best. But the emo geek sexiness is hard to ignore. And if she says please, what happens is beyond my control."

"Yeah, I get it. She's...Summer."

"Yeah, dude."

"So, uh, even after I go, I can get word of _anything_ just like that, you know? So if you talk to her the wrong way, or if you _look_ at her the wrong way, I'll have to punch your face in."

"I don't think you'd have to worry about that, man. I'd already have jumped off some bridge somewhere, and no one likes punching in a dead guy's face. But you might actually have a smidgen of a chance of winning then, so, you know. Whatever makes you happy."

"Oh, please, Cohen. I could totally take you."

"Mmm, see, the differences between you and me are great, grasshopper. You have not had to fight a drunk guy, wearing a dress, yelling at you in Spanish."

"Uh, yeah, you're, um, right. But I could still take you."

"Whatever, man. Not that I'm giving in or anything, but let's call it a truce? Because there is someone that could take _both_ of us at the same time and she cries at Jim Carrey movies. So who are either of us to brag?"

"She cried at a Jim Carey?"

Seth nodded and grinned. "Bruce Almighty, man. Sees Jen Aniston bawling in bed, praying to Carey and the tears can_not_ stop."

"Wow."

"Yes, sir."

"You love her?"

Seth shrugged, but Luke laughed. "Come on, dude, you totally do. Be a man. Admit it." He clapped him on the shoulder again and walked away.

Luke had stayed for another week, and besides some glances that lasted longer than a music video, Seth kept his promise too.

Luke sat on the porch, watching the cars rush by and the pools be splashed in. He felt Summer's leg brushed against his, but he didn't move his head.

"Hey."

"Hey."

She steadied herself with her hands and sat next to him, the sun finally deciding to go down all the way.

"Where are you going?" She looked over at him but he kept looking ahead.

"I don't know. I have to make some calls first."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So, how's your mom?"

"She's good. Dating some guy my age."

"Hmm. Is he cute?"

Luke finally looked at her and rolled his eyes. She grinned.

"What?"

"Do I have to answer that?"

"No. I'll ask her."

"Okay."

"Your dad?"

"I don't know. He hasn't called in over three months."

"Oh."

"How's _your_ dad?"

"He sent me money last week. Without even a card. Just a check."

"When did you hear from him?"

"Like a month of two ago. Just to let me know he's still alive. So's Lara."

"I thought you guys were close."

"Yeah. I don't know. Things change, I guess."

"Tell me about it."

"So, I should go. Where's Chris?" Luke stood up and shoved his hands in his back pockets.

"Living room. Ryan, Seth, video games."

"All right. So I'll see you?"

"Yeah."

Summer stood up too and hugged him quickly. She smiled. "I'll see you."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye, Luke."

He jogged into the house and into the living room. Seth, Ryan, and Chris all had their legs crossed underneath them and were staring at the t.v. with their eyes thoroughly blinking.

"Hey, little man, I'm out."

"Dad? Okay, hold on."

Chris paused the game and walked over to hug his dad.

"Bye, kid."

"Bye, Dad. Call me, okay?"

"You bet."

"Okay."

He grinned up at him and Luke mussed his hair. Ryan and Seth walked up behind Chris and nodded to Luke. Luke nodded back.

"Bye Ryan, Seth."

"Bye Luke."

"Bye Luke."

Luke bent down and kissed Chris's cheek and left one last smile before heading back out the door. Chris hopped back onto the couch and Ryan and Seth followed him.

Summer leaned back on her chair's legs, twirling her finger along her mug's rim. She could only really enjoy coffee at night. Sandy's car pulled up, the lights bright. He spun his keys around his fingers and smiled at Summer.

"Is Chris in bed?"

She shrugged. "He was playing video games. It's Saturday."

Sandy nodded. "They really are dedicated to that thing."

"Yup."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just tired."

"So why don't _you_ go to bed?"

"Not tired enough."

"Oh, I know the feeling. Did Luke leave yet?"

"Yeah. Like, half an hour ago."

"Okay. Good night, Summer."

"Good night."

He walked into the house, and Summer looked back at his car. Black and shiny with the sun roof half open. Such a lawyer car.

"Hey." Seth walked out of the house and hopped up onto the porch rail.

"Hey. Is Chris asleep?"

"Almost. Says he isn't tired."

"He'll be out soon."

"Yeah."

"Is he still with Ryan?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Okay."

"So what are you doing out here? Alone. In the dark."

"I don't know."

"So you'd be up for a walk?"

"I should get Chris to bed first."

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay."

Summer got up and walked into the living room. Ryan and Chris were asleep on opposite ends of the couch. She bit her lip to keep in her sigh of awe and risk waking them up. Carefully, she curled Chris's arm around her neck and her arm under his knees. Ryan stirred and blinked his eyes several times.

"Is he asleep?" Ryan murmured with his hands above his eyes.

"Yeah."

"Good. You want help carrying him?"

"It's okay. Go to bed."

"Okay. Good night, Summer."

"Good night."

Summer carried Chris out of the house and shut the door with her foot. Seth came over.

"You got him?"

"Yeah."

The three of them got to the pool house without Chris waking up and Seth opened the door to the pool house for Summer to walk in. She lay Chris down on his bed and his lips twitched.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah, honey."

"What time is it?"

"It's late, honey."

"Oh. Are you going to bed?"

"Soon."

"Where are you going?"

"Just a walk."

"With your _boy_friend?" Even half asleep, his lips curled at the word. Summer nodded but realized he couldn't see her.

"Yes, honey. Go back to sleep."

"Okay, Mom. Good night."

"Good night, honey."

Chris rolled over onto his side and fell immediately back to sleep. Summer kissed his neck and lightly stepped back over to Seth. He closed the door as silently as possible, placed his hands on her waist, and kissed her as gently as he closed the door.

"Hi." He licked his lips.

"Hi."

Seth took her hand and led her to the end of the driveway. Summer tucked her hair behind her ear and threaded her thumb through her back belt loop.

"So, how's high school?"

"Not all that bad. I'm in a class with thirty and forty year olds, but the stuff isn't as hard as I remember."

"It's more independent. And there aren't so many forty year old water polo players."

"This is true. But I have seen stock brokers and parents and nurses. They actually grace me with conversation sometimes."

"Yeah? About what?"

"Why I look like I could be in high school, but I'm in classes with them."

"Oh. What do you say?"

Seth shrugged. "That I was a runaway. Then they get all 'aw' and start thinking about their kids home alone with the babysitter. I can tell."

"Runaway."

"Yeah."

"So what do you want to do? Like, after you get out? College?"

"Yeah, I guess. If I can."

"Of course you can. You can do it like you're supposed to. Finish high school, get your diploma, go to college, meet some coed in a wet tee shirt contest, get married, have a kid, and see your high school sweetheart at the reunion."

"I don't think I can really do it like that."

"Why not?"

"Because I missed those years. How many college coeds want to marry a thirty year old?"

"You'd be surprised."

"Really? Now I'm interested."

She used her hand that wasn't intertwined with his to whack his arm.

"What?"

"You were supposed to say 'it won't happen like that because my high school sweetheart is the _best_ person and I couldn't bear leaving her forever.'"

"That too."

"You're such a dick."

"I'm sorry."

"I'll forgive you. So, really. College? You have one in mind?"

"Where did Marissa go?"

"Um, something in Boston. Don't remember. Nothing famous."

"Fashion design major?"

"Yeah, I think."

"So, she did it like you're supposed to."

"I guess. Yeah, she did. Who would've thought, right? She's the only normal one. And Brendan's a total sweetie."

"Where'd she meet him?"

"New Year's party. She went with one of his co workers and he was in his office doing work. That's Brendan. Dedicated, efficient, not one to waste a night of work because the ball was dropping."

"Is he really that boring?"

"I don't know. He's nice and he seems to really like Riss, so I don't really care."

Seth grinned and ducked his head.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's cute."

"What?"

"Riss?"

"Well she's not a _Cooper_ anymore. Wow. Coop. That was in _high_ school."

"What's Brendan's last name?"

"Harren. Riss is better than Hair."

"That's true."

"Mm-hmm."

They walked another few minutes, feeling familiarly comfortable in silence.

"Hey, um, I might not be really good at this, but...do you want to go out tomorrow?" Seth turned his head to look at her.

"What, like a date?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, okay."

"Okay." Seth said, remarking on how easier that was than he thought it was going to be. He had thought he should take her out since he saw her kiss Chris; it had taken half an hour to actually come out.

Summer walked closer to him, her side against his, and leaned her head down on his shoulder. She let out her breath and he could tell she was exhausted.

"Hi." He wrapped his arm tighter around her waist and she smiled.

"Hi."

"We should probably go back."

"Uh, yeah, if you want to."

That was Summer. She wasn't going to change. One of the only people Seth knew that actually didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Yeah, I'm supposed to get up early tomorrow."

"Okay."

By the time they got back to the house, Summer was basically asleep. Her eyes fluttered a dozen times and her head was even heavier on his shoulder. Seth got her to the pool house without collapsing, but as soon as she hit her mattress, her eyes fluttered shut. Seth bent down on his knees and brushed the hair out of her face.

This had to be weird. It had all the factors. All the people he was living with had their inside jokes and experiences that he hadn't been around for; new relationships had formed; personalities had changed. But Seth didn't notice it as long as he didn't think about it. When he did think about it, he got that pain in his chest because he realized all the things he had missed. Pregnant Summer, babies crying and saying their first words, Ryan abandoned by another potential love of his life. But what was even sadder was the little things. The mornings when everyone slept in, the dinner conversations, the Chrismukkah shopping. And no matter how long he stayed or how close he got with all of them, he would miss them. Seeing the transitions to who they were now. And the stories he had to tell probably were nothing compared to theirs.

"Good night, Seth." Summer rolled over, still asleep. Seth smiled and kissed her shoulder.

"Good night, Summer."

_Okay, so this rambled on a little bit but I hope to get the next chapter up much faster than this one. Less filler, I promise. Thanks for listening and please leave a review. Peace and love..._


	10. Rustling

_My ownership levels remain the same. Peace and love..._

"Seriously, dude, is something wrong?"

"I'm fine, Seth. Just leave it."

Ryan rolled over onto his back, squinting in the sun. Seth groaned and walked around him to look at his face.

"Seth, really. Forget about it. It's not a big deal."

"But, Ryan..."

"Seth!"

Seth turned his head to see the kid running towards him and throw himself on top of Seth's stomach.

"Why are you here when you can be in the water?"

"Just one second, okay, Chris?"

"What are you doing?"

"Finding out what's wrong with Uncle Ryan."

"What's wrong with Uncle Ryan?"

"I don't know. That's the problem."

Ryan propped himself up on his elbows and gently rolled his eyes. "Seth. Leave. It. Alone. Please?"

"What's wrong with you, Uncle Ryan?" Chris sat up too. Ryan rolled his eyes.

"Nothing, Chris. Go find your mom. Take Seth with you."

"Are you okay?" Chris asked.

"I'm fine. Bye."

"You could just _ask_. Come on, Seth." Chris took Seth's hand and tried to pull him up. Seth looked at Ryan and sighed.

"You are going to tell me."

"Whatever you say, Seth."

Seth gave in and let Chris pull him up and toward the waves. As soon as they touched the sand that was slightly wet, a wave broke and sprayed Chris, who promptly screamed. Seth laughed and picked him up.

"Are you _scared_ of the _water_?"

"No! It just surprised me."

"Oh. Okay."

"It's _true_. I live in _California_, Seth. I can't be scared."

"That is true."

Chris looked jealously ahead at Summer and Jenn jumping over and under the waves that came toward them. Seth watched in amusement.

"Chris? Buddy, are you sure you're not even a little scared?"

"_No_, Seth; I'm not a baby."

"Okay, okay. I believe you."

"I can sail on it."

Seth nodded. "Yes, you can. Well too."

"Really?"

"Yes. Very much potential."

Seth didn't really let him sail alone. The kid was seven. Mostly, Chris watched Seth as he dictated what he was doing. But Seth wasn't about to crush the dreams of any kid who had changed his mind about Seth quicker than he changed his clothes.

Chris hit Seth's shoulder. "Put me down."

He obeyed, but Chris stayed close to Seth's leg and held his hand. And everytime a wave came, he gasped and held on to Seth's fingers a little tighter. After a while, Summer caught Chris's eye and walked in closer to him.

"Hey, Chris. You don't want to swim?"

"I'm staying here with Seth."

Seth nodded. "I was scared."

Summer grinned and nodded too. "That's very nice of you, Chris." She bent down with her knees in the sand and pulled the sand out of his hair. She looked back up at Seth. "How's Ryan?"

Seth shrugged. "No idea. He's back to all moody mode."

"I'll talk to him."

"Good luck."

She smiled and kissed Chris's and Seth's cheeks before walking all the way in and making her way to Ryan.

"Hey."

"Hey."

She sat down and lay back beside him.

"So what's wrong?"

"Seth's making it up. Nothing's wrong."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup."

"I don't believe you."

"I'm fine."

"I won't tell Seth. If you don't want me to."

"That's not it."

"So what is it?"

"It doesn't matter."

"But you're sulking anyway. So just tell me."

Ryan's hands were interlocked behind his head and his eyes were closed now. "Do you ever wish that you didn't have Chris?"

"Sometimes, yeah. Well, I mean, you know, I'd want him. Just later."

"Yeah. Because people look at you different."

"I guess."

"People treat you different. Even if they don't want to."

"Yeah."

"People break up with you because you have responsibilities and they're not ready for responsibilities like that yet. And they have the choice of waiting for the time that they want to have kids. And they say they love you for the first time on the same day that they break up with you."

"Oh my god, Ryan, I'm sorry."

"For what? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I'm sorry that it's hard for you."

"It's just weird that because of one woman I'm going to be alone until I'm thirty."

"You don't know that's true."

"But it probably is. Women don't like to be 'tied down' too early either."

"That doesn't have to be true."

"But it probably is."

"Don't live your life by probablys."

"Yeah, well, there you go. Now you can tell Seth to leave me alone."

"He meant well."

"But it's a pain in the ass anyway."

"I know." Summer sat up and looked down at Ryan with his eyes still shut. She touched his knee.

"Go back to your kid. And your boyfriend." He lay a hand over his eyes. Summer nodded.

"Okay."

She stood up and walked away from Ryan, letting him finally take the hand off his eyes.

Seth had Chris back in his arms, Chris's eyes scanning the water. Summer stood next to Seth and threaded her arm through his.

"So?" Seth asked.

"He's just assessing his life. Just leave it alone," Summer answered.

"Is he okay?"

"He's just being a little bit of a pessimist. He'll be okay."

"But you can't tell me what it is?"

"I don't know."

"Okay."

A woman walked up behind them and tapped Seth on the shoulder. He turned around and the woman blushed.

"I'm sorry to bother you. I'm Karen, and I was wondering if I could take a picture of you and your family. I'm making this calendar of beaches and your family is just perfect for it."

"Oh, um, yeah, sure, I guess."

"Thank you so much. Just turn back around and, you know, pretend I'm not here."

Seth looked at Summer and raised his eyebrows. She raised her own back and looked at Chris. He was nearly asleep, Seth slowly rocking his arm. She wondered if Seth had noticed the 'family' bit. She wondered if he cared. She thought about what Ryan had said.

The woman took her picture, thanked them again, and as she was leaving, Chris decided to wake up again.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, honey."

"When do we see Grandmom and Grandpa again?"

"Next week, honey. You can call them when we go back to the hotel, if you want."

School had officially ended, and so Kirsten and Sandy had paid for all of them to go to Miami. Granted, it wasn't as great as it could've been, seeing that Miami was a lot like Newport. But it was new and the kids liked staying in a hotel. Everything seemed more relaxing when you were across the country from home.

Chris seemed to accept this, because he nodded, but his eyes were closed again against Seth's wet tee shirt and his hand wasn't moving anymore on Seth's arm.

Jenn walked in too and smiled.

"Can we go back? I'm tired."

"Yeah, sure, sweetie. Let's go." Summer took her hand too and they walked back to Ryan stretched out with his eyes closed again. He was sleeping too.

Seth sighed. "I'm not carrying him."

Summer smiled and bent down to shake Ryan. He squinted his eyes.

"We're going, babe," Summer said, rubbing his arm.

"Oh. Okay." Ryan stood up and grabbed their stuff.

Back at the hotel, Seth lay Chris down in his bed and sat on Summer's. She sat down next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. His arm wrapped around her shoulder and she shivered gently.

"So, did you, um, did you catch that 'family' line?" Seth asked into her hair.

"Yeah."

"I can understand though. I mean, with Chris and all."

"Yeah. Are you okay with that? People thinking things are...you know, like that."

"Yeah, sure, I guess. I mean, you're hot, so I guess it's okay."

"Thanks. So if I was ugly you would've corrected her?"

"I...don't think there's a good way to answer that question."

"You're probably right."

"Okay. So I'm going to bed. Good night."

"Good night."

He tilted her head up to his and kissed her carefully, cupping her cheek with his hand. He winked and walked out of the room, to the one next door. One of the rooms in the suite had two beds; one had one twin and a queen. They had decided to give Ryan and Jenn the queen, even though it meant making Seth say good night to Summer every night. It set the right picture or something like that was what Ryan said. Seth agreed; Summer had followed.

Seth opened the door to the dark room and stumbled a little to get to his bed. He heard Ryan softly snoring, and slipped under the covers of the bed to realize he wasn't alone.

"Holy shi...Jenn! What are you doing?" His voice trailed down to a whisper. Jenn sat up and shrugged.

"I couldn't sleep. And I didn't want to wake up Daddy."

"Okay. Well, do you want to go outside and talk or just sleep?"

"Can we talk?"

"Um," Seth glanced at his watch and winced, but shrugged anyway. "Yeah, sure. If you want."

"Cool."

Jenn crawled out of the bed and ran over to the doors to the balcony. Seth followed her and closed the door as quietly as he could behind him.

"So what's up?" Seth was still whispering.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About?"

"Your vacation. My dad didn't tell me _anything_."

"Oh. Okay. What do you want to know?"

"Everything." Jenn sat down on the chair in front of him and smiled. Seth shook his head; he wasn't going to sleep anytime soon.

"Well, uh, there's this island" Yawn. "chain in the middle of the Pacific and they're all pretty close together, right? So, I went from island to island." Yawn.

"For how long?"

"A long time."

"How long?"

"Nine years."

"Wow."

"Yeah." Another yawn.

"That's as old as me."

"Yeah."

"And what did you do for nine years? Didn't you get bored?"

"Uh, yeah, sometimes. But there were a lot of interesting people there."

"Like what?"

"Well, people with different talents, you know? And they did stuff different than in California."

"Like how?"

"Well, um, people there were mostly in their late twenties or thirties. Or retired. So there were a lot of parties. And a lot of bridge games."

Jenn giggled. "Did you have a girlfriend there?"

"Uh, not really. You know, I dated some of the girls, but nothing serious."

"Like you are with Aunt Summer."

"Uh, yeah. Right."

"What were the girls like there?"

Easy. "Um, some were really nice. Some were kind of annoying. Like in California. They were all different, mostly."

"That's cool. Now tell me the good stuff."

"What?"

"I'm _nine_, Uncle Seth. I can take it. I've seen rated _R_ movies. Tell me."

Seth shook his head, slightly amused. "I'm sorry, Jenn, but I don't think I have that exciting stuff to tell you."

"Yes, you do. I can tell you about my da-ad."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Like him and Aunt Summer."

"Keep going."

"You first."

"What do you want to hear?"

"Something cool."

"Uh...well...there was this one girl, right? She was born in Ohio. And she was living with her brother. Now, her brother was a stage performer, okay? So he dressed up like a lady. And I knew all this because I dated her for, like, a week, right? And you know how I met her?"

"How?"

"Her brother had a crush with me."

"Ew!"

Seth nodded. "So now that you know that I went on a _date_ with a man and then dated his sister, you can tell me about your dad and Aunt Summer."

"Okay. We went to the movies, like, a year ago. Me, Aunt Summer, and my dad, right? Chris didn't want to come because it was a girl movie. So there was this scene where the good girl makes out with the bad guy and my dad kept moving in his seat, you know? And so Aunt Summer put her hand on his and said something in his ear. And then, when we got home, Dad went for a walk with Aunt Summer and the next thing _I_ know, they're kissing everywhere, but, you know, trying to hide it. But they were really bad at it. _Everyone_ knew about it. And then Aunt Marissa came over once and she saw Aunt Summer and my dad kissing and she flipped out. She was yelling and yelling and that was the only time I saw my dad scared."

"What happened with them? Did they just stop kissing one day or something?"

Jenn shrugged. "Aunt Summer talked to Aunt Marissa, and seemed to talk to my dad less. I heard Aunt Marissa say to her that she didn't know what she was doing. That Aunt Summer was confused, right? And that she only was kissing Daddy because it was easier than finding someone new and that it wasn't fair for him. And I don't know, but I think Aunt Summer listened to her."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Did your dad ever talk to you about it?"

"Not really. He got all quiet for a long time. He talked to Grandpa a lot. Well, Grandpa talked to him."

"Oh."

"I'm tired now, Uncle Seth. I'm going to go to bed."

"Okay, good night, Jenn."

Jenn kissed Seth's cheek and started to walk back into the house, but turned around.

"Don't tell my dad I told you that, okay? I don't know if I was supposed to."

"Yeah, okay. Don't worry about it."

"Okay. Good night."

"Good night."

Jenn closed the door behind her and Seth faintly saw her crawl into bed next to Ryan. He pushed a little harder on his hands and sat on the balcony, starting to really wish he had been around for the past nine years. Or at least the past one.


	11. Fondness

_Josh Schwartz and all the nice and not so nice people at FOX kick ass._

"Oh, my, god. BS. You suck at this, Cohen."

Seth groaned again and pulled in the stack of cards in the middle of the table. Summer reclined in her chair and grinned to herself.

"Two sevens." Seth leaned back in his chair and stared at Summer. She stared back. "What? No comment from the peanut gallery? Aren't you going to _B_S it?"

"No." She smirked back and leaned in closer to the table.

"Do it. I _must_ be lying, right? Do it. I dare you."

"No. One eight." Summer placed down a card. Seth grinned farther.

"Ha, ha, ha! Popcorn, popcorn, popcorn. Who sucks at this game _now_, Roberts?"

"That would still be you. Go, Jenn."

"Four nines." Jenn lay down her cards and rested her head on the arm of her chair. "This is getting boring."

Ryan nodded. "Two tens." He pulled his hands back behind his head and smiled. "Oh, wait. I have no more cards. Will you look at that? Now I think we _really_ know who sucks at this game. And it's not me." His smile extended to a grin and Jenn shook her head.

"No. I said I wanted to quit. That didn't count."

"Come on, yes it did. You didn't actually quit. And I never win."

"Sorry, Dad. Maybe next time."

"Maybe _next_ time? I _won_. I _never _win. Come on."

"Accept it. You didn't _actually_ win."

"But I-I never...I never win."

"Who would want to break such a beautiful streak?"

Ryan's mouth opened in disbelief and shook his head. "I never knew I raised such a mean little girl."

"I'm not mean and I'm not little. So don't worry, you didn't." Jenn smiled contentedly and winked. Ryan sighed.

"Whatever. I'm going to bed. I'm tired."

"You're _always_ tired, Uncle Ryan. Stay." Chris whined, squinting at his own cards.

"Chri-is, come on." Ryan whined back.

"I knew it. You don't love me _at all_." Chris crossed his arm and stuck out his bottom lip.

Ryan nodded in affirmation. "Yep. Not at all. Can't stand you. I'm glad it's out there now, because I don't think I could've taken much more of keeping that in."

Chris stuck out his tongue and Ryan stuck out his back. Summer smiled in amusement at how good Ryan could put up a front. That morning, he had been depressed, but as soon as Chris and Jenn woke up, he was grinning.

"Good night, you guys." Ryan offered a weak wave and walked off to his room.

Jenn and Chris sat silently in their chairs, looking from Seth to Summer.

Jenn sighed and propped her feet onto the table. "So, what stimulating card game is next?"

"No more card games." Chris mimicked her and crossed his arms.

"Okay." Jenn's head sunk lower in her arms, her eyelids falling. Summer reached over and started rubbing circles into her back.

"You tired, baby?"

Jenn shrugged and curled up closer to Summer. Summer kissed the top of her head and rested her cheek against it. She bent her face down and whispered into her hair.

"Something wrong?"

Jenn shrugged again. Summer wrapped her arm around the girl, and kissed her hair again. Seth nodded and tapped Chris on the shoulder.

"Hey, little man, you want to walk?"

"No."

"Too bad. Let's walk."

"But I..."

Seth wrapped his arms around the little boy's waist and threw him over his shoulder.

"Let's walk."

He walked Chris out of the house and down to the porch. Summer kissed Jenn's head again.

"What's wrong, honey?"

"It's nothing."

"No."

"Nothing important."

"No."

"Fine. But you're going to laugh at me."

"Never."

"There's this boy, okay?"

"Okay. What's his name?"

"Darren."

"Okay."

"And...he's really cute, right?"

Summer nodded.

"And my friend said she'd tell him that I liked him. Because I really, _really_ liked him."

Another nod.

"But now I think he likes her. And she says she doesn't but I think she likes him too."

"Yeah."

"Yeah. And he wouldn't ever like _me_. I mean, this girl is just like me. But better, you know?"

"Did you tell her you thought that?"

Jenn nodded without looking up at Summer.

"What did she say?"

"She said she pretty much sucked at being a person so it wasn't true."

"What do you think?"

"I think that's not true. She's really nice."

"And what about Darren?"

"He thinks she's nicer than I think she's nice."

"And what do you think about it?"

"I think he's a stupid boy and should get over himself."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"No. He's perfect."

"But..."

"But why would he like _me_? I'm not even that pretty."

"Jenn. Jenn." Summer tilted her head up to look straight into her eyes. "You are beautiful. You're gorgeous and you never know who can see the truth."

Jenn looked up again and smiled. Summer smiled back to her and hugged her tighter.

"So, little man, how was first grade?"

Chris shrugged and cast wary eyes at the waves coming in closer. He walked around Seth to his other side so that Seth was in between him and the ocean. Seth followed him around with his eyes and laughed.

"Are you okay?" Seth's eyes were rebounding the moon onto Chris's face. Chris shrugged again.

"I miss Grandmom and Grandpa."

Seth nodded. "Me too."

"I don't like it here so much."

"Why not?"

Chris stayed silent for a little, but turned his face up to look at Seth's and stated firmly, "Because it's not home. But it's like home."

Seth nodded again and hugged Chris against his leg. "Yeah."

Chris took Seth's hand from around his shoulder and gripped his fingers. "I'm tired."

"Okay. Let's go."

"Could you sleep in my room?"

"Why?"

Chris shrugged. "I want you to."

"Um, yeah, okay. We should just ask your mom."

"She'll say yes."

Summer knelt down beside Ryan and Jenn's bed, running her fingers slowly through Jenn's hair almost unconsciously. Jenn was almost sleeping, her eyes open but not moving anymore. Beside her, Ryan was barely snoring; his hand had found hers somehow when she first got in.

After a few more minutes, when Summer was finally certain that Jenn was in fact asleep, she kissed the girl's forehead and slipped out of the room. She walked into the room next door and changed into a large tee shirt with a logo and some obscure company name across the front. She fell into the couch in the living room and curled up underneath the wool blanket, turning the t.v. onto some forty year old interviewing a rock band through slitted eyes.

Seth and Chris walked in through the back door. Chris curled up in between Summer and the couch and stuck his thumb in his mouth.

"Chris, take it out." Seth said as he fell into one of the chairs.

Chris sighed as loudly as he could, but brought his hand down to Summer's stomach.

Summer slipped down the couch, so her face was level with Chris's. "What's with the thumb, Chris? You're seven."

"I know."

"So?"

"I don't know."

"It's going to ruin your teeth."

"I know."

"You should really teach yourself to stop."

"I know."

"Okay."

The three of them were all on the brink of falling asleep; the interviewer on the t.v. even seemed to be falling asleep.

"Mommy?" Chris's eyes were even closed. "Can Seth sleep with us tonight?"

"Yeah, sure, honey."

"I _told_ you." Chris murmured to Seth.

"Mm-hmm." Seth brought his elbow up to the arm of the chair and leaned his head against it. "So" yawn. "I'll get my pillow."

Summer waved her hand. "You can sleep with Chris."

"No, I'll kick him. He should sleep with you." Chris opened his eyes and sat up. Summer creased her forehead, but shrugged.

"Whatever. He does kick."

Seth raised his eyebrows and slowly nodded. "Okay?"

Summer nodded too. "Well, I'm so tired it's not funny. So you guys can stay out here a little longer, but I'm going to sleep. Night."

She got up and disappeared into her room. Seth looked over at Chris.

"So what's up?"

"What do you mean?" Chris closed his eyes again.

"Why do you want me to sleep with your mom?"

"I don't. I want you to sleep in my room."

"But I can't sleep on the floor because..."

"Because you'll hurt yourself."

"And that's it?"

"Yeah. I'm going to bed. Good night."

Chris slumped into the room, leaving Seth shaking his head. After a few more minutes he realized he was as tired as they were, so got up and after a moment's hesitation opened the door to Summer and Chris's room. Chris was wrapped up tightly in his comforter, his eyes shut and his face to the wall. Summer had her face turned to Seth, her eyes closed, and one arm underneath her pillow. Seth looked back at Chris and shook his head. He kicked off his shoes and looked back at Summer's face, wisps of hair moving with her breathing. With one last glance at Chris, he carefully slipped under Summer's blanket, trying to give her as much room as possible.

Even in the dark, Seth could see Summer's shape underneath her blanket. He rolled over onto his side so he could watch her. The tee shirt that came halfway to her knees was bunched up around her stomach, so it moved with her chest. There were still traces of eyeliner beneath her eyelashes, the crisp lines changed into soft circles. Her lips were slightly chapped, her tongue every now and then coming out to lick them. Her eyes open. She smiled.

"What are you doing?" Summer whispered.

"Sorry." He whispered back.

"You were just, like, watching me?"

"You're so beautiful."

She grinned farther and crawled closer to him. Her face buried into his shoulder, her arm creeping around his waist. His eyes fluttered shut for a second, but opened again to scan down her back. Half of it was bare, the tee shirt rolling up even farther. Seth's breathing starting hitching, his chest moving faster.

"What's wrong?" Summer lifted her head off of his shoulder and searched his eyes.

"Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"It's just...I don't know, maybe I just...don't deserve this."

"What?"

"You." The truth was, she was so small, covering herself with him. She trusted him. He could do what he wanted, because he had her. He really had her.

"Yeah. I mean no. You deserve me. Really." She was desperately trying to keep her voice quiet but express sincerity at the same time.

"Why? What have I done?"

"You loved me. Right? I mean, you did, right?"

"Well, yeah. That year was, it was the best year I can ever remember. Everything about it. I mean, I wouldn't change anything about it. Well, except the end."

"Me too."

He looked at her for a second longer, and shook his head.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"For everything. That I left, that I didn't come back. I wanted to. So much."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because. I shouldn't have left in the first place. It was stupid and then if I just came back I'd have to say why I did it. And I didn't know why. And then it was too long. So I couldn't just come back unnoticed."

"But you never could have come back unnoticed. You could have left for a week and I mean, I would have noticed. And I know your mom would have. And your dad. And Ryan. And everyone."

"Yeah. Well, I didn't. And I can't change it and it sucks because I want to so badly."

"I know."

Seth thought about it for another second. "Did you cry?"

"What?"

"Did you?"

"You mean, since then?"

"Because of that."

"Oh. Um...yeah. Once."

"Why?"

"You had been gone for, like, a month. And suddenly I realized I missed you. And then I was disgusted with myself because I hadn't cried. And Marissa was over, crying about Ryan, and I was mad because I couldn't cry about you. But then Marissa got a phone call, and it was Ryan and she talked to him for, like, ever. And she started crying more and I could hear him across the room trying to comfort her. He told her he loved her and that he was coming back that weekend just to see everyone again because Theresa told him to. And so she said she loved him too and hung up the phone and just curled into a ball, and started crying into her knees. And I realized that I had never told you I loved you. I never said that you changed my life. You know, for the better. And I started screaming at Marissa and yelling because I couldn't cry and she just said I was crying like right then. And I was. But after that, I don't know, I had nothing left to cry."

"Why didn't they get back together when he came back?"

"Ryan and Marissa?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know. She got settled one day and when he came back she wasn't the same person. And she had college and he had Jenn. And then, like, the next year she met Brendan and they got married a few months later. And that was it."

"Oh. Okay."

"Yeah."

He watched her watch him another second, and leaned forward to kiss her as lightly as he could. She kissed him back a little harder, but he still stayed slow.

"I never want you to cry again." He whispered against her lips, her breathing now as hard as his.

She didn't have an answer for that, so she just nodded and he hugged her. She crawled even closer and lay her head down on his chest, her body on top of his arm. He took her arm that had curled around him and held her fingers next to her cheek. Summer fell asleep after him, comfortable finally when his breathing slowed down and his eyelashes brushed down on his cheeks.

_Okay, so I had such a horrible block at the beginning of this chapter, but I think overall it came out okay. So yay. This chapter's completely covered with foreshadowing, so read every paragraph. I hope the next chapter can come out quicker. Peace and love..._


	12. Maturity

_ None of them belong to me. Peace and love..._

Ryan was bored.

Like, horribly, desperately, hopelessly, entirely bored.

They had gotten back from Miami four days ago and he was already dying. School was over so the kids were always home and so there truly was nothing to do. And he was bored to death.

Summer was out with the client that she now fondly referred to as Ursula, that octopus thing from The Little Mermaid. Apparently she didn't like the woman and she laughed kind of strangely. Ursula was marrying Quasimodo, the hunchback from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. He was sweet but "so naïve." It had amused him how Summer no longer compared people to celebrities, but used Disney characters instead.

They had eaten dinner in silence for one of the first times since Seth had been home. Everyone had been looking at someone else, daring each other to say a word. A lot of fork clinking.

But they had gotten through it, no matter how hard it was to do without Summer jabbering on about something. Jenn had disappeared into her room upstairs; Chris had spread out on his bed, reading a Cosmopolitan from his mom's bedside table. Kirsten had closed herself in her room, trying to avoid looking out the window, but doing it anyway to see when Sandy got home. Seth was somewhere. Ryan was bored.

He had his feet hanging off the side of the couch in the living room, his hand propping his head up. The t.v. was on some sad excuse for a music video and the stereo was playing a sad excuse for a hip hop song. The only available reading material was self help about how to please your man. Ryan wasn't all that interested, thanks. Actually that's a lie, but he'd already read Elle about six times.

It was official; he had no life outside of his daughter.

After the "music video" ended, Seth trounced in and fell on top of Ryan's legs.

"Dude, just ask." Ryan grumbled, yanking his feet from underneath Seth.

"I'm bored."

"Yeah, me too."

"I'm boreder than you are."

"Is that a word?"

Seth shot Ryan a look without turning his head causing Ryan to raise his eyebrows. Seth sighed dramatically.

"I'm bored."

"What do you want _me_ to do about it?"

"I don't know. Something more than talking about every single dude in your entire school."

Ryan shook his head. "She's too young for all that. Do you think she'll, like, grow out of it or something?"

Seth scoffed. "It's doubtful. And I think it's going to get worse."

Ryan sighed. "Something to look forward to."

"Sure."

Seth pulled his legs up onto the couch too, mimicking Ryan's arm beneath his head. He turned it slightly to glance at the t.v.

"Dude, Britney Spears looks exactly the same. How much plastic surgery on her?"

"I dunno. Ask me about any movie done by Dakota Fanning. Or Raquel Castro. Or Jonathan Lipnicki. That I know."

"Lipnicki? Wasn't he in Jerry Maguire?"

"Like, a really long time ago. But now he's 'so dreamy.'"

"Wow. Okay."

"Yeah."

"So what about Britney?"

Ryan shrugged. "She's married to that Kevin dude. They have like seven kids. So now she's got the whole boring, old Madonna thing."

Seth nodded while Ryan knew he didn't hear anything he had just said. He sighed as dramatically as he could again.

"We need to go somewhere. Do something. Anything." He rolled his head over to the side and raised his eyebrows. Ryan shrugged.

"Whatever."

"We can't just stay here."

"Whatever."

Seth sighed again and picked up the Elle from the coffee table. He flipped through it absentmindedly, stopping every now and then to look at an ad for clearer skin with a pretty girl.

"Dude, can I ask you a question?" Seth folded the magazine over and tossed it onto the ground. Ryan shrugged.

"Yeah, sure."

"And you'll be honest?"

"I'll try."

"You have to swear."

"Fine. Cross my heart." Ryan drew an x over his chest and Seth nodded.

"Why'd you break up with Summer?"

"What?"

Seth raised his eyebrows and shrugged.

"I didn't." Ryan tried to get his eyes back to normal size and shrug it off, but this was probably the most uncomfortable he had been since the doctor and placed Jenn in his arms.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, she, um, she, well, we weren't really ever together."

"But there was something, yeah?"

"For, like, three days. Probably due to boredom anyway."

"So you guys both, like, decided it was over?"

"Well, uh, Marissa told us it was over. You know, whatever there was."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did Marissa's opinion influence you guys?"

"I don't know. Summer said she was right and stuff, so we just decided she was. It wasn't a big deal or anything. Why do you want to know?"

Seth shrugged. "I don't know. Just...interested, I guess."

"Okay."

"It's just that...I don't know; what if this is a mistake?"

"What?"

"What if I'm not right for her? And there's something better that she's missing out on. I mean, this wouldn't be fair to her."

"Seth, you know Summer's going to do what she wants. If she didn't want you, she'd _be_ with someone else."

"I know. But what if she doesn't know what she wants?"

"Then there's nothing you can do but wait it out."

"What if she never realizes what she really wants? And she's stuck with me for the rest of her life?"

"What can you _do_, though? Break up with her?"

Seth raised his eyes and eyebrows and shrugged a little less convincingly. Ryan shook his head.

"Dude, you shouldn't be talking to me about this. I, uh, just I'm not right for this. I should go."

"Ryan, don't. I'm sorry, you're right. You shouldn't have to hear this. But, I mean, I don't know. I can't talk to myself about this and I sure as hell can't talk to Summer."

"But, Seth, man, you like her. A lot. And she likes you too."

"I _love_ her."

Ryan's stomach twisted again and the uncomfortable feeling came back. "So why can't you see if this _is_ right? What if you end up taking away what both of you guys need?"

"How can I be what she needs? _Ryan_, she _needs_ more than me. I'm just a reminder of someone she remembers. I don't know who I am, so how can I know that I'm what she needs? And she needs so much."

"But Seth, this isn't common. It's not, like, an every day thing. You don't just find someone else like Summer who likes you as much as you like her. It doesn't happen like that. And you're extremely lucky."

"_I_ am. What about her?"

Ryan scratched the back of his neck and shook his head. "I still don't know why you're talking to me about this."

"Who am I supposed to talk to?"

"I don't know, _Summer_?"

Seth shook his head quickly and looked back down at his knees. "No. I can't. Because she won't think rationally. She won't think about herself."

"But she's the only person besides you who really knows what's going on/ she's the only one that can really understand."

"So I just ask her if I should break up with her? Because I don't know what you think, but I think that wouldn't go over so well."

"Ask her where she wants to be. What she wants."

Seth leaned his mouth on his hand, his eyes staring at the t.v. again. He shrugged for the umpteenth time.

"I guess I could do that."

"Yeah. And...good luck, man." Ryan smiled with the right side of his mouth. Seth nodded.

"Yeah. Thanks."

The song on the radio changed again to something older. Seth watched the lights on the radio flash the station.

"_And I'd give up forever to touch you. Cause I know you feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be. I don't want to go home right now. And all I could taste is this moment. And all I can breathe is your life. And sooner or later it's over; I just don't want to miss you tonight. And I don't want the world to see me. Cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am._"

Seth nodded again and sniffed lightly, holding his hand up against his mouth. He scratched his head gently and nodded. He stood up and walked out of the room, finding Chris alone in the pool house, staring up at the ceiling, an intense look on his face as he counted the ceiling tiles. Seth sniffed again.

"Hey, Chris."

Chris turned his head with a grin, happy to have anyone living to talk to.

"Seth, what's up?" He frowned a little at the look on Seth's face.

"I just wanted to see you. And I have to talk to your mom when she gets home."

"Okay. You can see me."

"Okay." Seth offered a weak smile and sat down next to Chris's bed on the floor. Chris crawled over and lay his head down on his hands next to Seth's.

"Are you bored, Seth?"

"I was. Are you?"

"Very." Chris nodded the best he could with his face on the comforter. "I miss my mom. She doesn't usually take this long."

"Yeah."

"Yup. So, what do you want to talk to her about?"

"I'm not sure."

"Is it a good something or a bad something?"

"I don't know."

"Hmm. It's serious, though, right?"

"Yeah I guess."

"A good serious or a bad serious?"

"I don't know, Chris." Seth's voice rose a little, and Chris's eyes shrunk.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

"It's okay." Chris looked away from Seth and rolled over onto his back.

"Chris, I..."

"No. I said it was okay."

"Chris..."

The glass door slid open and Summer came in, dumping her purse on her bed. She walked over to Chris's bed and sat in front of Seth.

"Hey." She kissed him quickly on the lips and looked up at Chris. He looked at her and smiled as pathetically as Seth had.

"Hi Mommy."

"Hi, honey. Are you okay?"

He nodded and leaned forward to hug her. She looked over at Seth and raised her eyebrows. He just looked away. When Chris let go of her neck, he looked back over at Seth's eyes, ignoring him and Summer. Chris groaned and shook his head. He muttered to Summer, "Seth wanted to talk to you."

"Okay."

Seth looked back over at the two of them, and turned his gaze back to his knees. Summer walked over on her knees to look him in the face.

"What?"

"I don't think this is going to work."

"What? Wait, what are you...are you breaking up with me?"

He shrugged lightly, his eyes starting to get red. "It's not your fault. It's mine. It's all mine."

"Oh, my god, I..."

"What?" Chris stood up on the bed and his eyes grew to twice their size.

Seth turned his head around to look at him. "Chris, this is just something..."

"No! You're not supposed to...you were going to...you said that you...you were supposed to be my dad."

"Chris..." Seth started.

"No! You were...you're _Seth_. You have my _name_. You're the one my mom is _supposed_ to be with! Even Grandmom said so. She was talking to Aunt Marissa a long time ago and she said you were _going_ to be together and you were _going_ to be my dad!"

"But Chris this isn't..."

"_No_! I _want_ you to be my _dad_! You're nice and you love my mom and I _thought_ you liked me. But you don't, right? You never liked me! No one _likes_ me!"

"Chris, I do like you. This just has to..."

"_No_! No, no, no, no, no! You're all liars and I hate you because you hate me!" Chris started crying, swatting away Summer's arm as it crept near him. "You were going to be my dad."

He ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. Summer stood up, but spun back around, crying almost as hard as Chris had been.

"What are you doing? Why are you _doing_ this?"

"I'm sorry. I just can't..."

"Love me. I get it. I was making up all those feelings I thought I had for you."

"Summer..." He stood up, starting to walk over to her, but she shook her head, bringing her hands up to her face.

"I don't mean anything to you. You don't care. I...have to...go somewhere."

She grabbed her purse again and knocked on the door to the bathroom.

"Chris! Come out."

"No."

"Chris, please?"

"Go to hell."

Summer bit her lip and seemed to push at the air with her hand. She walked out of the house and shut the door. Seth stood in the middle of the room, finally walking over to the bathroom door. He sat down next to it.

"Chris. Talk to me."

"I don't want to."

"Chris, you don't mean that. Yell at me."

"No. I want Uncle Ryan. Get Uncle Ryan."

"You promise you won't leave."

"Yes! Get Uncle _Ryan_."

"Okay. Okay."

Seth slowly got up and watched the door as he walked out of the room. As soon as he passed the door, he broke into a run to the main house. Ryan was on the couch where he left him.

"Ryan, dude, you have to come."

"Seth, you can't find out if you're going to break up with someone that loves you with your brother in the room."

"I know. But you have to come now."

"Seth..."

"Ryan, _come_."

Ryan groaned, but stood up.

"Fine."

He followed Seth out to the pool house. Seth pointed at the bathroom door. Ryan put up his hands; Seth mouthed 'Chris.' Ryan shook his head. 'Dammit.'

Ryan walked to the door and knocked gently. "Chris?"

The door slivered open, and a slightly chubby arm came out to pull Ryan in. The door slammed and Seth shook his head, his hands on the wall. This wasn't supposed to be like this. They would be happy soon, though. They had to be happy soon.

Ryan sat against the door, Chris crawling into his lap and leaning his head back on Ryan's chest. Chris had told him everything, changing his voice for the different characters. Something about it wasn't so funny though. Ryan bent his head down to look at the top of Chris's, but Chris looked straight ahead.

"Chris. You know, everyone in this house wants you to be happy."

"Right."

"It's true. Even Seth, especially Seth. Because I think you can say what you want, but he does love you."

"Sure. Like he loves my mom."

"Chris, come on. You know grown ups are messed up. I think if you looked, you'd find out Seth is even more confused about what's going on than you are. And he thinks he has less people who love him than you do."

"Grandmom loves him. But only because she has to."

"You don't love him?"

"No. He almost made my mom cry."

"Everyone makes mistakes."

"But that's a big one."

"But you know what? I love him too."

"But you _have_ to, too. He's your brother."

Ryan nodded against the little boy's soft hair.

"He's my brother. But I _have_ to love you too. Doesn't mean I do any less."

"Why do you have to love me?"

"Because. You're my nephew."

"Not really. Just like my mom isn't _really_ your sister."

"Yeah. But after a while, it seems that way."

"Ew. You kissed your sister."

Ryan smiled and smoothed the wisps of brown that invaded Chris's brow.

"So are you mad at your mom too?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because. She lies."

"Your mom might do a lot of things, but I know she doesn't lie."

"Yes, she does. She said that she loved Seth. She told me."

"How do you know she doesn't?"

Chris thought about it a second, but shook his head. "Either she lies or she's really stupid."

"Why?"

"Because. He can't love her. That's what she said. So she shouldn't love him."

"Why not?"

"Because if he doesn't love her, then he wouldn't marry her."

"Why do you want him to marry her?"

Chris turned his head and looked at the sink. He shook his head again. "It's stupid."

"If it's true, then it's not stupid."

"But this is. Because it just is."

"Can you tell me anyway?"

Chris looked behind him and Ryan's face. He crooked his finger and Ryan leaned down his head.

Chris whispered into his ear, "I want a daddy. A real one. I love my dad, but he's not a _real_ one. And I thought I knew my mommy liked Seth, so I tried to get him to love her too." He pulled away from Ryan's ear and stared back at the shower. "I guess I didn't do such a good job, huh?"

"Chris." Ryan kissed the top of his head and leaned his cheek against it. "Seth doesn't know what he thinks. He's very confused. But I know he would like to be your daddy. He's just not so sure he'd be so good at it."

"I don't care. I wanted him anyway. Now maybe not. Because mommies and daddies are supposed to love each other. I don't think Seth loves my mommy, and I know my mommy doesn't love my daddy. And did I tell you about Christian?"

"What about him?"

"He called me a bad word."

"What did he call you?"

Chris looked around his shoulder into Ryan's face and said without blinking, "A bastard. He said it was because my mommy didn't love my daddy. And then he called my mommy a bad word too."

Ryan felt his hands tighten. "What?"

"A hole."

"A hole?"

"Yeah. Like a girl who doesn't love the daddies of her son."

"You sure it was a hole?"

"It sounded like it."

"You sure it wasn't with an r?"

"Maybe. I don't remember. Yeah, that's probably right. Btu I told him he shouldn't talk about my mommy because at least she was prettier than his mommy. And then he got mad at me. But it's true. His mommy's ugly. My mommy's pretty. But she's not a whore. His mommy's just jealous."

"You're right, Chris. He's just jealous. You have a mommy who loves you, a daddy who loves you, a Grandmom who loves you, a Grandpa that loves you, and I think you're okay."

Chris laughed and Ryan started to relax.

"Do you think my mommy loves Seth?"

Ryan stared ahead at the shower, following Chris. "Yes."

"Do you think Seth loves my mommy?"

"Yes."

"Do you think my mommy's a whore?"

"No. Definitely not."

"Okay. So why did Seth tell my mommy he didn't love her?"

"Grown ups are confused most of the time, Chris. You should probably let them figure it out. Because grown ups speak a different language and only each other can understand it."

"Can you understand it?"

"Not most of the time."

"That's because you're not old."

"Maybe you're right."

"Do I have to tell Seth I forgive him?"

"You have to not yell at him. You have to tell your mommy you're sorry."

"I am sorry."

"That's good."

"So what do I have to tell Seth?"

"That's up to you."

"Isn't that a big decision?"

"It's very big."

"So shouldn't you make it for me?"

"No. Only you can. It's all up to you."

"Okay. I'll think about it."

"Okay."

"You look tired. Go to sleep."

"You should too."

"I'm going to wait for my mommy to come home."

"Don't wait too long."

"I won't. She'll be home."

"Okay. I think you're right. Good night, Chris."

"Good night, Uncle Ryan."

Ryan pushed himself up with his knuckles and helped Chris stand up too. He opened the door, glad to see that Seth had gone. Chris couldn't make adult decisions to quickly. He walked Chris over to his bed and helped him pull up the covers.

"I love you, Uncle Ryan."

"I love you too, Chris."

Chris reached out his arms, and Ryan let him hug him. He turned off the light and stood at the door, watching Chris try to find a side to sleep on.

"Don't grow up too fast, Chris," he muttered, walking out the door, past Summer who was walking quietly in. She didn't look at him, but said good night before she walked into the pool house.

_"Iris" written by John Rzeznik_


	13. Matrimony

_ I own a computer and that's about it._

Summer got accustomed to sleeping on her back. Flat, no rolling, on her back. Usually with the stereo turned on; Chris chose the station. She'd developed something where she couldn't sleep without noise. It was weird.

But it wasn't like she was depressed. During the day, she was busy, taking Chris on play dates, working with Ursula and Quasimodo, and trying to get a hint of the tan she wanted so desperately. And she didn't think about Seth and why he didn't think she was good enough for him; she just didn't care. His loss. Asshole.

"Kirsten! Do you know where Chris's white shirt is?" Summer bent down into the closet, pulling articles of clothing out belonging to every single member of the house. Kirsten bent down next to her, and started checking all of the shirt and pants and other things.

"Why do you need it?" Kirsten leaned it farther, finding a pair of jean shorts that were basically undistinguishable as, in fact, something any human would wear.

Summer groaned "Ursula told me yesterday that she 'couldn't wait to see my darling son' at her wedding. He's invited! Since when? God, some people just spring these things on you and assume that you totally saw it coming. Stupid."

Kirsten looked behind her at Summer's hair falling around her face, occasionally being tucked behind an ear. She moved to sit on her feet and gently hugged her. Summer crept her arm up around Kirsten's shoulder.

"What was that?" Summer went back to the piles of shirts that were still able to be seen in public.

"You're going to be okay. And you should relax. Okay?"

"I'm relaxed."

"Okay."

"I am."

"Okay."

"Mommy? What are you doing?" Chris's voice came through the closet.

"Looking for your shirt, honey." Summer muttered without turning around.

"What shirt?"

"The white one. With the buttons."

"This one?"

Summer turned around to see Chris dressed in a white dress shirt, black dress pants, a burgundy tie even hung around his neck. Summer's eyes grew and she fell down on her ass.

"Where did you...did you dress yourself like that?"

"No. Uncle Ryan and Seth helped me."

"Oh. That's...nice. Uncle Ryan and Seth didn't mind making me look like an idiot and didn't think to tell me that I didn't have to. You look great, honey. Very handsome."

Chris crawled into the closet behind her and sat down in her lap.

"Is this going to be boring?"

Summer shrugged. "I think so. But you can hang out with Jonathan most of the time if you want."

"Okay." Chris nodded, trying to remember the tall man with dark hair and blue eyes who worked with his mom.

Summer held up Chris's wrist, checking his watch. "I should go get ready, honey. Can you help me...just...get out."

"Okay." Chris shimmied out of the closet, Summer behind him, Kirsten behind her. Summer wiped the dust off her pants, flashed a quick smile, and ran out to the pool house. Laid out on her bed was the dress that had been confirmed to match the curtains, bridesmaid dresses, flowers, everything. Burgundy velvet with thin straps that criss crossed in the back, and basically hugged every inch of skin it touched. Not Summer's first choice, but she had to have gone shopping with Ursula, and she said it matched Summer's hair. So she had to wear it. Especially since Ursula paid for it.

She curled her hair and pulled it up into a ponytail straight out of her head. She glanced at a mirror for a second after perfecting every speck on her face, and ran back into the house, trying to find her purse and notebook and cell phone and pager and 'safety belt' all at the same time.

"Chris!" She found everything but her purse, frantically running into the living room, seeing Chris, Ryan, and Seth lying on the floor, staring at the t.v., Seth and Chris's controls in their hands.

"Chris. Get off the floor, _please_, honey. You're going to mess up your clothes and...god_dammit_, where is my _purse_?"

"Don't cuss, Mommy."

"Oh, thank god." Summer scooped up a black bag and draped it over her shoulder. She sighed exasperatedly, and walked in front of the t.v. crossing her arms. Seth and Chris put down their controllers, Ryan and Seth's eyes scanning up and down the burgundy dress. Seth looked away a second after his eyes caught Summer's, Ryan looking down a second after him.

"You look, uh, gorgeous, Sum. Have...fun?" Ryan shrugged.

Summer choked out a laugh. "Yeah, fun. Chris, come on. We have to go. Jonathan's going to be here in, like, two minutes."

"Okay."

Seth helped Chris pull the black jacket around his shoulders, Seth's eyes never looking up from Chris's back. Chris had decided to forgive Seth after another few trips out on Seth's boat. On some level, Ryan was happy, because it showed that Chris _was_ still a kid. It was good. Seth was happy on every level he could be, but whenever Summer entered a room, he always had something he had to do, or something he had to turn his head to count.

After finishing the buttons in the front, Chris hugged Seth and Ryan and ran over to Summer, taking her hand.

"Oh yeah, you guys," Summer said, spinning around. "Thanks for getting him dressed. And finding his clothes. And not telling me you found them."

Ryan laughed and shook his hand. "Sure."

Summer flashed a quick grin and pulled Chris out of the house. Seth pulled his arm up and scratched the back of his head and started to walk away.

"Damn, she's gorgeous," he muttered, knowing Ryan would hear him.

Summer grabbed a little girl's hand and gently pulled her to the front of the room, setting a brown basket in her hands.

"Honey, you _have_ to stay here, okay? I know it's a long time to wait, but _please_. Count to three hundred, and then you can start walking, okay?"

Summer found three bridesmaids in the bathroom, downing shot glasses filled with Jack Daniels, Quasimodo in the foyer, muttering 'I do' to himself, and the father of the bride in the bathroom trying to hide from the bridesmaids. This had to be over as soon as possible.

Chris sat on a counter in the kitchen with Jonathan's back to him; Jonathan yelling out last minute checks to the rest of the people in the kitchen. He spun around with a grin and fixed Chris's suit.

"You look so sharp, kid. Maybe you should walk around that flower girl in the front. She was watching you."

Chris laughed as the man Chris couldn't all together remember laughed with his mouth all the way open. Summer came running in a second later, grabbed Chris's hand and helped him off the counter. She was about to run out of the room, but Jonathan took her hand and swept her around into a hug.

"Relax, Roberts. You're fine. You're good, and you'll be okay. And please stop running or you're going to fall on your ass."

"Yeah. Right. Okay. Walk. Thanks, John." She kissed his cheek quickly and took Chris's hand, but walked him into the ceremony hall. They stood in the back, watching the wedding party move their way down the aisle. Quasimodo was cracking his knuckles at the altar, but when Ursula came through the curtain with her father, he stopped. Summer watched her glide, and she watched the look in his eyes, and she kissed Chris's head.

"I'll be right back, sweetie," she whispered.

Summer got up quietly and slipped out of a side door into the bathroom. She stood in front of the sink, watching herself in the mirror. He was scared. That had to be it. He was scared because they really were starting to look more and more like a family, and he couldn't take it. Most guys didn't like looking like a father when they still hadn't actually told their girlfriend that they loved her. He was scared.

She stayed in the bathroom until the I do's were over, but came back in for the walk back down the aisle. She saw a few women pointing at her, but she was used to that by now. People wanted to know who she was. She sat down next to Chris and let his head fall into her lap. She let her fingers dance down his shirt and tickle his stomach and he laughed groggily through his lazy lips.

After Mr. and Mrs. Quasimodo exited the hall, Summer whispered "two more hours" to Chris and coaxed him to go back to the kitchen with Jonathan while she finalized all their plans. She got to the reception hall in one piece; Jonathan dropped Chris off with her with another kiss to the cheek and ran off to the caterer gathering. After the married couple greeted nearly all the guests, Ursula caught Summer and Chris with her new husband attached to her hip.

"Oh, Summer, darling, it's so beautiful. Thank you so much, sweetheart." She hugged her firmly, and let her husband kiss Summer's hand. "Who's this little guy?"

Summer suppressed the eye roll. You told me to bring him, ma'am, and he hated every second of it. "This is Chris, my son. Chris, this is..."

"Mr. and Mrs. Linter. I know." Chris grinned at her, trying to make her proud that he remembered. He shook both of their hands, Mr. and Mrs. Linter a little taken back at the polite little seven year old.

Summer smiled back at him and nodded. They slipped into the kitchen for the first dances, Jonathan always finding Summer's hand, Chris always watching Jonathan. Summer didn't even seem to notice. After a few songs, she winked at Chris and pulled him out of the kitchen to the hall. Chris looked around the room, the white flowers tinting orange from the huge ceiling that let sunlight through. Summer took him into the middle of the room, and wrapped his arms around her waist. She pulled his head against her and danced with him to the music.

"_Come away with me in the night. Come away with me, and I will write you a song. Come away with me on a bus. Come away where they can't tempt us with their lies. I wanna walk with you on a cloudy day, in fields where the yellow grass grows knee high, so won't you try to come? Come away with me and we'll kiss on a mountaintop. Come away with me and I'll never stop loving you._"

"Mom?"

"Yeah, honey."

"Are you happy?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you happy? Right now?"

"I'm with you, honey. Of course I'm happy."

"What about Seth?"

"What about him, honey?"__

"_So all I ask is for you, to come away with me. Come away with me._"

Chris let go of Summer's waist and looked up at her as people awed as Mr. and Mrs. Linter shoved cake at each other.

"Did you love him?"

"Honey, don't..."

"Did you?"

"Yes. Could you just..."

"Do you still love him? Right now?"

"Chris, stop."

"Do you?"

Jonathan walked up with a smile on his face. "So, Chris, you want to get out of here? I have a break and you've seen Ursula, so I could take you home if you want."

Chris was still looking at Summer, but she turned and smiled back at Jonathan. "Yes, thank you. Chris, I'll see you soon, okay?"

Jonathan nodded and led Chris through the people to the door. Summer watched the door shut and turned around to see the people clink their glasses and Mr. and Mrs. Linter kiss.

Jonathan let Chris sit in the front seat; something his mom never let him do. They drove in an awkward silence, until Chris sighed and turned away from the window.

"Do you like my mom?"

"What was that, Chris?"

"Do you like her?"

"Uh, why do you want to know?"

"Because. I want to help."

"Well, I...do. Don't tell her though, okay? It has to be gradual."

"She likes someone else."

"Who?"

"Someone who's not you. She's not going to marry you."

"Hey, Chris, the marriage thing is a little random, isn't it?"

Chris shrugged and looked back out the window. He ignored any further attempts Jonathan made at conversation, and got out silently when they stopped at his house. Kirsten came out, a slight smile on her face.

"Jonathan, it's so good to see you again. You look great."

"As do you, Mrs. Cohen. Summer's going to be a little longer, but Chris was getting bored."

"Oh, that's fine. Thank you for driving him home."

"Sure. Okay, well, my break is going to be over soon, so I'll see you guys some other time. Bye Chris. Mrs. Cohen."

"Bye Jonathan."

Chris waved half heartedly and turned his back around to Jonathan as he got into his car. As soon as he left, Chris rolled his eyes at Kirsten.

"What's wrong?"

Chris shook his head. Kirsten played with a smile around her mouth.

"Do you not like Jonathan?"

Chris looked back at her and rolled his eyes again. Kirsten had to place a hand over her mouth. He looked so much like some other little kid with curly hair.

"Do you think he likes your mom? And...you don't like that?"

Chris rolled his eyes one last time and walked past Kirsten into the house. Chris landed on the couch next to Ryan with his chin in his chest and his eyes lowered down with it. Ryan looked away from the t.v. and raised an eyebrow.

"Wedding was fun?" He raised the other one too and broke a grin.

Chris glared at him and looked behind his head and Seth, who was about to grin too.

"It wasn't fun." Chris gritted his teeth and pulled off his jacket, struggling a little because he was going so fast.

Ryan smirked and let his hand fall down on Chris's head. "It's girl stuff anyway, right?"

"No. I don't care about that. But it sucked."

"What happened? Did they pinch your cheeks or something?"

"No. I had to wait in the kitchen for most of it."

"You get bored?"

"No. Because _someone_ was _always_ talking to me."

"Your...mom?"

"No. _Jonathan_." Chris whined out his name and rolled his eyes again. Ryan nodded and leaned back on the couch.

"Did you remember him?"

"Yes. I didn't like him then either."

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't. He's stupid."

"Okay. So you didn't."

"I _didn't_."

"_Okay_."

Seth looked back at the t.v. and crossed his arms. "Who's Jonathan?"

Chris rolled his eyes again. "My mom's _co-worker_. Stupid."

Seth looked over at Ryan and Ryan shrugged. "Ex boyfriend."

Seth nodded and looked back at the t.v. Chris rolled his eyes.

"She didn't _really_ date him."

Ryan raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Yes, she did."

"No. He was just here all the time. She didn't like him that much."

"Yes, she did."

"No, she didn't." Chris looked at Ryan and challenged him the best he could.

"But she doesn't anymore. Because he wasn't a good boyfriend."

"Yeah. That's what I meant. He's not good."

Seth looked back over at Ryan. "What did he do?"

Ryan shrugged and looked at the t.v. with both Chris and Seth looking at him. "He just wasn't a good person. Let alone boyfriend. Especially for Summer."

"Ryan. What did he do?" Seth asked, lowering his voice.

Ryan shrugged.

"Did he cheat on her?" Seth turned his whole body around.

"No."

"What did he do?"

"He cheated on Marissa."

"What?"

"Dated her too. Before Brendan. Cheated on her. Summer introduces Prince Charming to Marissa; Marissa recognizes him; Marissa tells Summer to dump him. Summer does."

"Does she always listen to Marissa?"

"What do you mean always?"

"I mean, she did with you...oh. Never mind." Seth recrossed his arms and looked away from Ryan.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. I...nothing."

"Chris, go." Ryan muttered without turning his glare.

"What? I don't want to." Chris looked from Ryan to Seth.

"Go."

"No."

"Now."

Chris groaned. "I _never_ get to stay for the good stuff." He got up and walked out of the room.

Ryan gently let out a breath. "Listen, Seth, I didn't...well, I mean, you know that I and...you knew that. So you shouldn't be..."

"I'm not."

"Oh. Okay. So what did you do for her?"

"What? Who?"

"Jenn. She was the one that told you, right? And she told you everything she knew, right?"

"Uh...yeah."

Ryan shrugged. "That's Jenn. Can't really keep her mouth shut. Then, she and Summer team up against me. But please tell me she got something out of it and didn't just, like, volunteer information."

"Oh, yeah. I had to tell her stories about Fiji."

"Oh, okay. So she can stock up on her gossip. That makes sense."

"Yeah. Don't get mad at her, though. I technically wasn't supposed to tell you."

"Yeah, whatever. So she told you about Marissa?"

"Yeah. I didn't know Marissa could such a big impact on her."

"She was scared; I was scared. I mean, Marissa had just calmed down and, I dunno, we were scared that this would throw her back or something. So Summer talked to her, and then next thing I knew she was ignoring me. So, yeah. Jenn doesn't know everything."

"But she'll tell a lot faster than you will."

"That's because she...is a blabbermouth. Cute as hell, smart as hell, but a really big blabbermouth."

"Yeah."

Seth leaned back on the couch too, Ryan watching him.

"Don't worry about it, though."

"Worry about what?"

"Summer."

"Why would I worry about Summer?"

Ryan raised his eyebrows, but shook his head. "You ask her to come back, and she will. She likes you that much, man."

"I broke up with her."

"Right. Right. But...I don't know, maybe if...she doesn't end up as happy as you thought she would, then...I don't know. Whatever."

"You still suck at talking, Ryan. I have no idea what you just said."

"Just...think about it. If she...think about why you actually did break up with her. It might not all be true. That's it."

Ryan glanced at his watch and stood up. "I have to go pick up Jenn. See you later, man."

He clapped him on the shoulder and walked out, Seth stuck with a really old rerun of some Friends-wannabe sitcom. Summer was better off. She knew that, somewhere. And Jonathan was...nothing. Seth wasn't going to be worried about Jonathans. There were probably a lot of them. Old boyfriends. But he didn't care. Because he broke up with her for a good reason. What was it again?

_I'm really glad this came out because tomorrow, "the gates of hell shall envelop me." School sucks serious ass. So these chapters might come out a little slower. Thanks for listening, please leave a review. Peace and love..._


	14. Behave

_I believe that this chapter solved a hideous block that had plagued me along with the disgusting reality of going back to school. It stars a little rough, but I think I've got it how I want it in the end. Thanks so much to reviewer kay.note because it's probably thanks to them that this chapter came out. And to Angelus1 for writing like she does. I shall still say that nothing here belongs to me, and I would still like to ask you to review. And as always, peace and love..._

"Be good. I love you, sweetie."

"I love you too."

Summer kissed the top of Chris's head and knocked on the door. Marissa with a towel wrapped around her pushed the door open, smiled when she saw it was Summer, and walked away with the door still ajar.

Summer walked in, Jenn and Chris behind her. Brendan came running down the stairs and nodded when he saw it was Summer.

"Oh. Hi."

"Hi."

He looked like he was going to say something for a second, but walked off with his cell phone still pressed to his ear. Summer shrugged and walked into the kitchen; Marissa was standing in front of the mirror, working a comb through her wet hair. Summer sat at the kitchen table and grabbed a nail file from the center of it.

"Thank you so much, sweetie, for doing this." Summer worked off the edge of her middle finger.

"Oh, yeah, sure. What are you guys actually doing?" Marissa dropped the comb on the counter and sat across from Summer.

Summer shrugged. "I don't know. Getting dressed up and going to dinner."

"Who's going?"

"Um, me. Ryan, Mr. Cohen, Mrs. Cohen, and...Seth." Summer filed her nail farther down, soft flecks landing on the table.

Marissa nodded and leaned back in her chair, pulling her knees up with her. Summer held the file in front of her and stared at Marissa. Marissa stared back.

"What?" Summer lay the file on the table.

"You were staring at me."

"So? You were staring at me."

"I didn't say anything about anyone."

"But you were going to."

"No, I wasn't."

"Sure."

"What would I say anyway?"

"I don't know."

"Because you're over him?"

"Exactly. I don't care about Cohen, and I don't care that I have to spend a whole night with him."

"Cohen? God, that was such a long time ago. High school."

"Yeah. Right. So, I'm going to go. Thank you, Riss, Ryan says so too. Have fun."

"We always do. Bye, honey."

Summer got up and hugged Marissa, dropping a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Wait, um, could I ask you to do me a huge favor?"

"Yeah, sure, what?"

"At, like, 9, could you call me? Just to break any kind of...I don't know, tension? That might be there?"

"Oh, yeah, sure."

"Thank you." Summer kissed her cheek again and walked out. She mussed Chris's hair on his way in and hugged Jenn as she came running behind him. As Summer got to the door, she shouted behind her, "Bye, Brendan!"

"Bye Summer! Have fun!"

"You too!"

Summer closed the door behind her and crossed her arms lightly beneath her breasts. She had to go through with this. She had promised Mrs. Cohen that she would, and so she really had to. Ryan would be there to rescue her from too many awkward silences, but she was going to have to see him. Try not to stare. For a week, she had ignored him pretty well, while still always noticing when he paid her any attention. But she was going to have to talk to him. She had to get dressed.

Summer opened the door to the pool house, revealing Ryan squinting his eyes, turning a Cosmopolitan to the side.

"What's that?" Summer threw her keys on the bedside table and took off her jacket.

"How many erogenous zones _are_ there?"

"Depends on whom you ask."

Ryan was barely listening to her, his brow still furrowed, his lips gently forming numbers, trying to count in his head. Summer kicked off her shoes and fell onto the bed next to him. Upon being ignored, she threaded her head underneath the magazine and grinned.

"Hi. Why are you in here?"

Ryan finally looked down at her and shrugged.

"Why aren't you dressed?"

He shrugged again.

"Go."

"In a second. I'm almost done." He pulled the magazine over her head and let his eyes fall back into concentration.

Summer rolled her eyes, but crawled off the bed. "Don't look up."

"Uh-huh."

She pulled her shirt over her head and stepped out of her jeans. Standing in front of her closet, she browsed through the dresses she had, nothing just right. She pulled a blue floor length with a boat neck out and held it up to her.

"Ryan."

He looked up.

"You weren't supposed to do that. Anyway, what do you think?" She swirled the skirt, briefly flashing her finally tanned thigh.

"It's nice."

"Nice?"

"Really nice?"

Summer groaned and muttered, "Look down again." She put the dress back and kept looking. She settled for a dark wine dress that went down to her knees and had a sharp triangle cut out in the center of the neckline, Ryan still looking at the Cosmopolitan. She thrust a pillow at him, hitting the magazine and caving it towards him.

"What?"

"What do you think?"

He looked up and nodded twice. "Yeah."

"Yeah?"

He nodded again. "Yes. It's...it's good."

"Okay. Now go get dressed. You're going to be late."

Ryan rolled off the bed and closed the door softly behind him. Through the glass, he could see Summer twisting her hair up, but letting it fall back down. She grabbed at least five different lipsticks, holding them up, but putting them back down. Carefully shaking his head, Ryan left her to go through the same ritual with everything possible.

Seth sat on the floor of Ryan's room, staring at the wall in front of him. Ryan ran a few fingers through his hair, glancing at Seth every now and then. Seth wouldn't look at him.

"So...nice weather."

Seth finally turned his head around to Ryan's grin. He rolled his eyes and spun his head back around.

"Sure."

Ryan fixed his sleeves and opened the door. He looked back at Seth, still staring directly in front of him.

"Are you coming?"

Seth snapped his head up and nodded. "Yeah." He got up and followed Ryan out the door.

Kirsten smiled at the two of them, grinning farther as she saw Sandy walk up behind them. He put a loose arm around both sons' shoulders and grinned. Kirsten laughed.

"You're all so handsome. Where's Summer?"

Ryan slowly nodded. "Still getting dressed I think."

"Would you boys please go get her?"

Ryan shrugged and grabbed Seth's shoulders, directing him to the pool house. Kirsten smiled gently at Sandy and slipped her hand down to his waist.

"I haven't seen you in forever."

"I know." He kissed her nose and they walked together out to the car.

Ryan knocked lightly on the door. "Open." followed and he opened the door. Seth slumped in behind him, his hands stuffed down into his pockets. Summer had finally fixed her dress the way she wanted and gotten her hair to behave. She had just lost her shoes.

"Two seconds. Two. I...two seconds." She put up one finger, but quickly switched it to two and bent down on the floor to search under her bed for the missing footwear. Ryan bobbed his head and sat on the desk chair, Seth hovering cautiously beside him. Summer crawled over to the closet and finally pulled out two very high satin shoes.

"Yes. Okay, let's go." She flashed a quick smile and walked past the two of them without a reaction to the guy still not sure how he should be standing.

Marissa sat on the couch. Brendan sat on the chair. Jenn sat on the floor in front of the coffee table. Chris sat in between Marissa's legs on the floor in back of the coffee table. 8:23. Marissa was sure of that; she had checked her watch at least four times in the last minute. Chris yawned; Brendan yawned.

"So...when do you guys get back to school?" Brendan asked, swinging his legs around to dangle off of the chair's arm.

Jenn shrugged. "Soon. Too soon."

Brendan nodded and leaned his head back onto his hand. Marissa faintly smiled at him, leaning back herself so her head touched the couch. Chris stood up and crawled onto the couch beside her, leaning his head on her lap. Her hand absentmindedly ran through his hair that was starting to curl in the humidity. Her fingers gently pressed down on his head, and slowly he fell asleep. 8:45. But it was summer. So he had an excuse.

It slightly amused Seth that he was now considered one of the 'adults.' This was an 'adults only' dinner. It was kind of cool. Summer was sitting across from him, next to Kirsten and Sandy. Ryan sat next to Seth, watching the waitresses go by in their short black skirts. Kirsten and Sandy were whispering things to each other, obviously very happy to be out of the house together for the first time in a long time. Since Seth had left, Sandy had seemed to stay at the office later and later. But he was there now, an arm tightly around his wife, her head sometimes grazing his shoulder. They were still in love. No matter how late he came home. Summer sighed.

"Excuse me." She got up from the table and walked in the direction of the bathroom. She sat on the sofa beside the door to the bathroom, relieved to be away from the complete awkwardness that was outside of Sandy and Kirsten's world. She picked at her nails, scratching away the polish that had started to flake a few days ago.

Sandy kissed the top of Kirsten's head, her head rolling up so the kiss landed on her lips. She returned his kiss, her hand finding the back of his neck. Seth shivered.

"Uhh...I...ugh, bathroom."

He walked away from the table, opening the door before noticing Summer. He stood in front of the sink, creating a pool of cold water in his hands. He splashed his face and wiped off excess water with his hand. He looked up into the mirror, noticing how it looked like he was playing dress up. He could wear suits and ties, he had before. But this just didn't look comfortable. Lived in. Like someone put it on him and he just stood still the whole time. Like it didn't fit him no matter how perfect the measurements were. He had to get out of this restaurant.

He opened the bathroom door and stopped when he saw Summer staring back at him.

"Hi." She murmured, keeping her eyes locked on his.

"Hi."

He stared at her a second or two longer and softly sat next to her on the couch, finally breaking their eye contact.

"They're in love." Summer spoke with her eyes on the door to the men's room. Seth nodded.

"It's pretty lucky, you know?" He replied, turning his head to look at her again. She saw his head move out of the corner of her eye, so moved her head too and nodded.

"Yeah."

He pulled his lips into his mouth and nodded even slower. "It, uh, it doesn't happen to everybody. Or...if it does, they don't know it."

"Yeah."

"To find someone that you can love that much is just...luck."

"Mm-hmm. And then there's the chance that they won't love you back."

"Or that they love you too much."

"But that's just a lot of bullshit, isn't it? You don't not want to be with someone because you love them too much."

Seth turned his head down to look at his tie, tight against his throat. "I don't know."

Summer tilted her head so that she could still be looking at his face. "But sometimes...you just slip. Even if there's such a good chance that that person doesn't love you back, you can't really help yourself."

He looked so young, his eyes so big. He looked a little scared, a little sad, and a little excited at the same time. Summer bit her lip and silently leaned forward to catch his mouth with her own. His hand glided down her silky cheek and rested on her jawbone, pulling her head in even closer. One of them moaned when her lips parted at the presence of his tongue, but it got lost in the rush that was running to both of their heads. Her hand was on his knee, gently massaging his pant leg, not really sure what to do. It was so weird how she could be such a different person, and him too, but still he knew what to do to make her heart race faster than she ever believed it could've gone again. Since he had left. His hand slid down her neck, pausing slightly at the edge of the neckline of her dress, and decided to slip down to her side. She opened her mouth further.

"Summer? Sweetie, are you...oh. Sorry." Kirsten's eyes had widened, quickly turning away from her son and her...Summer.

"Kirsten. Um, yeah, is something wrong?"

Kirsten spun back around, blushing increasingly by the second. "No, um, your phone rang. It's, uh, Marissa."

Blushing even harder, she extended the phone to Summer and walked away. Summer pulled it up to her ear, and tried to let out her breath as quietly as possible. "Hello?"

"Sum, hey. How are you, okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, um, yeah."

"Are you sure? You sound nervous."

"No."

"Is he, like, right there? You know, next to you?"

Summer's eyes darted quickly back to Seth and she nodded. "Yeah."

"Is he behaving himself?"

"Yes."

"I don't need to come and kick his ass?"

"No, you don't."

"Okay. Good. So, having fun?"

Summer glanced back at Seth. "Um...yeah. More than I thought."

"That's good. Here, uh, Chris wants to talk to you. I'll make him keep it short."

"Um, yeah. Okay."

Summer heard quiet rustling and her son's voice come out much louder than Marissa's.

"Hi Mom."

"Hey, Chris. Are you having fun?"

"Yeah. I took a nap."

"Really? Were you tired?"

"I don't know."

"Okay. Just make sure you have enough sleep left for tonight, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"How's Aunt Marissa?"

"She's good."

"And Uncle Brendan?"

"He's good too. He showed me how to use his remote control."

"Oh, that's good. How's Jenn?"

"She's fine. I think. She's talking to Aunt Marissa."

"Is something wrong?"

"I don't think so. Just girl talk."

"Okay, honey. I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"And I'll see you soon."

"Okay. Bye Mommy."

"Bye honey."

Summer listened a second longer to hear Chris hang up the phone. She hung hers up too and looked back over at Seth. He blushed lightly too.

"So, um, we should probably go back."

"Yeah. Okay."

He took her hand to help her up and they walked back to the table for more awkward, forced conversation.

By eleven, Summer and Ryan had gotten to Marissa's house. Ryan draped Chris around his neck since he was sleeping and Summer took Jenn's hand. She gave Marissa a quick hug and kiss and Brendan a smile. Ryan kissed Marissa too and shook Brendan's hand. They walked relatively silently out of the house and got home after putting Jenn to sleep too and without waking Chris. Ryan held Chris in one arm and Jenn in the other, giving Chris to Summer at the door to the pool house. She carried him in and lay him down on the bed, placing a kiss on his forehead.

She slipped out to the main house and passed Seth in the doorway. She smiled lightly and he smiled back, but they both kept walking. Summer fell asleep on the couch, watching Letterman with Ryan; Seth fell asleep upstairs in his room listening to his playlist and re-evaluating the line "_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, and I don't want to go home right now._"


	15. Entwined

_Josh Schwartz is my man. Peace and love..._

Summer released her breath slowly and carefully. She still felt the slight indentation in her back from Seth's hand being too lazy to move. His lips were on her shoulder, slowing down and becoming lazy as well. She sighed gently and pulled his face up towards hers. She kissed him lightly and let his head rest down in the creases of her neck.

"Hmm..." Summer felt his chest fall, the breath he had been holding finally out.

She pulled his wrist up to her face and tapped his head. "I have to go. Ryan asked me to pick up Jenn from ballet."

"Okay." Seth pushed up off of the bed with his hands and tugged on his tee shirt lying on the floor. Summer pulled her jeans on and smiled before walking out in her camisole.

"Hey." Marissa smiled with her eyebrows silently mouthing her question.

Summer glanced behind her at Seth's bedroom door and grinned as her hands started flying. "I, uh, had to, um, you know, get a...sweatshirt."

"Okay? Where's the sweatshirt?"

Summer's mouth dropped in thought and she shook her head. "I don't need it. It's hot outside. I thought I did, but I didn't. Yes. That's true. It's hot. Have to go. Ballet. Jenn. Bye."

Summer grinned again and waved as she walked past Marissa.

Seth lay flat on the floor. This wasn't good. He shouldn't be doing this. It wasn't helping Summer any to still show he loved her when she was supposed to be moving on. He wasn't supposed to still have any love to show her. He was supposed to be the strong one. He was supposed to help her see that she was better off without him. He wanted to help her. He didn't want to shiver when she closed her eyes and bit her lip underneath him. But it was Summer. So he had an excuse.

Marissa knocked on the door, Seth yelling "come in." She paused before opening the door. After thinking for just a second, she opened the door and raised her eyebrows at Seth lying on the floor. He shrugged.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah...not really."

"Okay? So you...came to visit?"

"Right. Um, I have to...go."

Marissa went back out the door. Seth stared at the door another minute, but rolled back over to stare once again at the ceiling.

Summer opened the door to her car, a hand pausing on her shoulder. She spun around.

"Need some company?" Kirsten raised an eyebrow.

"Oh. Um, yeah, okay."

Summer looked straight ahead at the road going by; Kirsten keeping quiet. For the most part.

"So, Ryan caved on the ballet."

"Yeah. She's got him wrapped around her finger. And she knows it. I think he does too."

"It's sweet."

"Mm-hmm."

"Yeah."

Summer stopped in the parking lot; Kirsten finally turned to her and opened her mouth.

"Are you and Seth together?"

"What?"

"Are you together? Dating. Relationship. Boyfriend, girlfriend."

"I...no."

"No?"

"No dating, relationship, boyfriend. I don't think."

"Oh. Okay."

Summer's arm reached the door, and she looked back over her shoulder. "Is that it?"

"Are you having sex?"

Her hand slipped off the knob. "I..."

"Okay. Let's go." Kirsten opened her own door and walked into the building. Summer gripped the door tighter and followed Kirsten inside. Jenn smiled broadly at the both of them, grabbed her bag, and led them back out to the car.

"And so Scott said he could get Johnny a date with Stephanie. But I mean, come on. He _so_ couldn't. But that's a good thing because Johnny is nice and Stephanie isn't. She's so stupid. She only believes what other people tell her and she thinks she's so smart."

Kirsten nodded blankly, her head resting down on her elbow. Summer smiled quickly at Jenn, but turned back to stare at the road. Kirsten followed her head, watching Summer pretend not to notice that Kirsten was watching her. Jenn was still talking.

"But _sometimes_, Steph's really nice, you know? It's, like, _then_ you feel really bad because you thought all that mean stuff about her before. Btu then she gets all mean again and you realize that you meant all of it. And she's such a little crap."

"_Jenn_." Summer turned her head slightly

"What? She _is_."

"But it's not nice to say about anyone."

"_You_ say it. And so does my dad. And Uncle Seth. And Grandpa. And Aunt Marissa. And Uncle Brendan. And Uncle Luke. He says even worse. So why can't I?"

"Because. We're old."

Jenn rolled her eyes. "You're not _that_ old. You and my dad are, like, what? Twenty-four?"

"Not the point. We're older than nine."

"Wait. If my dad's twenty-four, then he must've had me when he was only seventeen. That's _really_ young."

"Your dad's twenty-five."

"Whatevs. He was still young. And my birth mommy was probably younger than him."

"Not that much younger. And since when do you say 'whatevs.'"

"Since, like, _always_."

"Well _excuse_ me."

"You're excused. But that means my dad had sex when he was, like, only sixteen. Because it takes an average of nine months to have a baby." Kirsten and Summer both looked back at her. "What? I learned it in health class. But did my daddy _really _have sex? That thing's disgusting."

Summer looked at Kirsten with big eyes and turned back to look forward. Kirsten fumbled with her words, but managed to get out a coherent thought.

"Well, honey, um, your dad loved your mother. He did. And...he thought it was the right thing to do at the time."

"Did he want to have a baby?"

"Well, I'm sure he wanted to have a baby, probably just a little later on in his life than he did. But he's very happy to have you."

"So why did he do _it_?"

"I..."

"Ask your dad, Jenn." Summer offered, grinning at Kirsten. Kirsten smiled back and nodded.

Jenn looked out the window, nodding to herself. When they finally got home, Ryan was just getting out of his car. He smiled when he saw Jenn.

"Hey, kid." He kissed her on the lips and picked her up to rest on his hip.

"Hey, _man_." She rolled her eyes and slid out of his arms, before running into the house calling Seth's name.

Ryan raised his eyebrows and Summer shook her head. Kirsten laughed.

"She has been talking for ten minutes without break."

Ryan laughed too. "That's Jenn."

Summer nodded and hung back a little longer as Kirsten followed Jenn's descent into the house.

"So what's up with you?" She tapped his bicep and spun around.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the doctor was a long time ago. Who's the new one?"

"Well, her name's Stephanie and _apparently_ Scott is _totally_ in love with her, so I think I might have a little competition."

"I'm serious. You need a girl. Like, above the age of eighteen, or it'll just get messy. Because you, my darling, need to get some."

"What about you? It's been a while since Seth, so don't you need to get some too?"

"I'm working on it."

"Well, maybe I am too."

Summer raised an eyebrow and Ryan shrugged.

"I said maybe."

Ryan walked into the house, Summer trailing slowly behind. Just before she walked through the door, an arm leaned out and grabbed her around to the side of the porch. Lips touched hers; hands slipped down her waist.

"Hey." He murmured against her mouth, trailing his kisses down to her shoulder.

"Hi." She finally closed her eyes, never planning on growing tired of seeing him.

He kissed her for another few minutes, seeming to let his hands linger on her waist a little longer than he sometimes did. "I have to go."

"Where?"

"High school."

"Okay."

He kissed her cheek one more time, and said, "Tell people I said bye." Seth ran down to the street, the keys still left on the hood of the Range Rover. Summer watched him skid on the pavement, sliding on his Converse. She laughed and he grinned back up at her. This was somehow easier than that whole 'being together' thing. Go figure.

Seth sat in a classroom. He sat in the back like he always would, and he was listening to his iPod before the teacher walked in like he supposed he always would. The thirty and forty year olds around him and stopped looking at him strangely, and now even offered a few smiles. He smiled back, drumming a light beat on the edge of the desk he had already gotten sick of. The teacher walked in, younger than most of the students and with red hair. Redheads were always interesting. Especially when their gray eyes followed you around the room no matter where you were sitting, like Ms. McCann's. A thirty eight year old woman, mother of three, paused Seth's iPod for him. He pulled off his earphones and rolled his eyes toward the mother. She giggled back and they all turned to hear the Ms. McCann tell them about appositive phrases and their importance.

Ryan fell into the chair next to Chris and leaned his head down on the seven year old's shoulder. Chris looked at him with his eyes confused.

"Hi?"

"Hello."

"Bored?"

"Yes."

"Want to do my homework?"

"Not particularly."

"Then don't complain."

Chris crashed his pencil back to the paper, rubbing lead markings against it. Ryan rolled his head down onto the table next to Chris's homework, watching Chris's tongue peek through his lips. He got a glass of milk, placed it next to Chris, and went on looking at Chris try to figure out why he was doing this when he could be watching t.v.

Summer walked into the kitchen and sat on the other side of Chris, leaning her head against his other shoulder. Chris groaned and flicked at Summer's head until it leaned back up.

"Why are you people so annoying?"

Summer and Ryan were both crunching down so Chris had to look down at them to look them in the eye. Ryan shrugged.

"I'm bored."

"I'm sorry." Chris stared back at him and around at his mom. He sighed as loudly as he possibly could and got up to leave the kitchen. Summer shrugged and lay her head down on the cloth place mat. Ryan mimicked her. He sighed nearly as loud as Chris.

"I hate my life. This is so stupid."

"What's wrong?"

"Do you get that I'm a _waiter_?"

"You're working your way through school."

"But I'm twenty-five. And my _job_ is a _waiter_. And it's not like I have a trust fund kicking in any time soon. I'm a waiter. And that's it."

"You're going to be more. Really."

"You have a job. You have your trust fund next year. I have nothing. My daughter is going to be poor her entire life."

"Ryan. Look." Summer used her hand to pick up Ryan's chin and move it around the kitchen. "I think your daughter's pretty okay."

"Because of Sandy and Kirsten."

"Yeah. So? They love you. They're not going to abandon you or Jenn to any welfare place."

"But I shouldn't have to depend on my parents to live. It's ridiculous."

"You're going to be fine. _Jenn_'s going to be fine. Don't worry about it."

Summer's hand trailed over to Ryan's back and started rubbing small circles. He nodded slowly.

"But what if...I don't know what I want to do. I don't know how any of these classes are going to help me."

"Ryan, you're taking architectural design and stuff. Didn't you always want to do stuff like that? House design? Because, I don't know if you've ever noticed, but Kirsten..."

"I know. But that would be so easy. And I'd be living off my family for the rest of my life. I don't know. Easy never ends up well."

"But it's what you wanted to do."

"But is it what's best for me?"

Summer cocked her head to the side and shrugged lightly before leaning over to rest her head against Ryan's shoulder. His head was leaning to the side so touched the top of her hair. Her hand kept moving.

Seth grabbed a few textbooks and notebooks and smiled at the teacher as he left the room. This was going to take too long. He only to do this for a year, but it was still one year. He hated sucking up to people. But he got to home and have sex with Summer. Made high school a lot easier than he had remembered.

Chris grabbed a bagel out of the basket and stuffed it in his mouth. He smiled at Ryan, still at the table, with his mouth full of bagel. Ryan laughed as Chris walked out of the room. He walked up to the front door and sat on the front steps. He watched all of the cars rushing by and all the men come home and kiss their wives. It always seemed like these people were putting on a show for whoever might be watching. That's why Chris didn't trust any of it. No one was really that happy. He knew from experience.

A car stopped at his driveway, and Chris craned his neck to see that it was Seth. Suddenly, from behind him, someone's leg nearly toppled him over. He spun his head around to see his mom. She crouched down to look at him.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Is something wrong?"

"What? No. Everything's fine."

"Okay."

"Okay." She looked back up at Seth walking towards them; Chris kept watching her. Seth got to the porch, looked at Chris's mom for a second, but turned his glance to Chris.

"Hey Chris."

"Hey. How was school?"

"Long."

"That wasn't long. You were only there for like two hours."

"It feels long." He picked up Chris and swung him onto his hip, looking back at Summer for a little too long, and walked Chris into the house. Kirsten walked out the door, and sat next to Summer. Summer noticed her, but slowly guided her eyes away from Kirsten.

"Do you love him?"

"Kirsten, this is..."

"Do you?"

Summer shrugged, leaning her head farther down on the railing.

"Summer, this isn't just a..."

"Yes."

Kirsten nodded and leaned her head onto Summer's other shoulder. "Baby, you shouldn't be doing this to yourself."

"Do what?"

"Honey, sex isn't just nothing. You know that."

"He doesn't love me. This is the closest I can get."

"You can't really believe he doesn't care about you."

She shrugged again, causing Kirsten's head to rise.

"Baby..."

"This is just the way it is. I don't know. There's nothing I can really do about it."

"But aren't you just setting yourself up for something that might not come as soon as you want it?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything. It's kind of up to him."

The cold railing had collected condensation, so light trails of water streaked on Summer's cheek. Some a little higher than the railing had been.

"I'm going to...go see Chris." Summer got up, leaving Kirsten on the steps.

All of her babies were growing up.


	16. Given

_Sorry this took so long. With a mix of not knowing where I wanted it to go, school, friends, and a disgusting block, it took a while. And I still don't think it came out perfectly. I'll try to keep it going faster, but I can't promise anything. Because I want to give y'all long chapters. So remember: Si tu es patient, tu as récompenses. J'ai rien; Josh Schwartz a beaucoup. Paix et amour..._

His hands were sliding up her thighs. His breath was in her ear; his lips were barely grazing her hair. And it didn't feel like it should. At all. It felt...wrong. Like he was a thirteen year old boy trying to flip her skirt up. Like she shouldn't be letting him touch her.

But it wasn't like she had asked him to stop. It wasn't like she could ask him to stop. It had been a week. You don't just say to someone after a week that you never want them to touch you again. Especially when they technically hadn't done anything wrong. It just felt wrong.

"Seth."

"Yeah?"

"Stop."

"What?"

"Stop."

He rolled off of her, looking at her with confused eyes through the curls that were falling into his face. She shrugged and slipped off of her bed.

"Summer? Is something..."

"Do you love me?" She turned her face to look up at him. He kind of shook his head as if he didn't hear her.

"What?"

"Do you love me?"

"Summer, this is a..."

"It's a yes or no question. Do you love me?"

"I..."

"Yes or no?"

"Summer, you can't just expect me to answer a question that..."

"No? That's fine. Just say it and you can get some."

"But I..."

"Say it. No."

"Summer..."

"No. I can take it. Just say it. You don't love me."

"I can't...I should...go."

He kept his eyes locked on the ground, shuffling his feet as he stumbled out of the pool house. Summer watched the glass door slam from the floor and thought how it would've been so much better if he had just admitted that he didn't.

Seth fell onto the couch in the living room next to Ryan, cradling his head in his hands on the arm of the couch.

"Tired?" Ryan glanced lightly over, craning his neck to see Seth's face.

Seth just shrugged and pulled his legs up onto the couch too, gently kicking Ryan's feet. He didn't notice, or if he did, he just didn't care. Random reruns were playing, but Seth couldn't comprehend a single line. He didn't love her. He didn't. He shouldn't. And it didn't even matter if he did, because she needed more than him. She needed someone who could marry her and live happily ever after in a castle in the clouds. Seth couldn't give her that. He'd hurt her, sometime, someday. He wasn't anyone's Prince Charming.

Jenn strolled into the room, slipping in between Ryan and Seth's feet. She pushed Seth's feet off, and curled up along his stomach. She snuck her head against his chest and pulled his arm around her shoulders. His thumb stroked the tanned skin of her upper arm, too lazy to move drastically. He didn't even think about how he hadn't seen these kids for the first nine years of their lives, because they were as much his niece and nephew as Ryan was his brother.

But he had no idea what Summer was to him. And it wasn't fair.

"Jenn!" All three of their heads turned to the front hall, seeing Marissa run into the room.

"Hey guys." She said, a little out of breath. "Jenn, you left your book in my room." Marissa tossed a paperback onto Jenn's lap and sat down after pushing Seth's elbow away from the arm of the couch.

Jenn flipped open the cover and scrunched up her eyebrow until finally recognizing the book. "Oh. Thanks Aunt Marissa. I should go read this."

She stood up and walked out of the room, staring at the back cover. Marissa flicked her hand at Seth, gesturing for him to slide over. He sort of flopped, but she kicked him one last time so she could sit.

"Ryan, did you get...Riss. Hey." Summer smiled quickly at the couch, diverting her eyes away from Seth as quickly as she could.

"Hey. Summer, sit." Marissa slid even farther over and tapped the couch next to her. Summer glanced for a second at Seth again, but shrugged and sat next to Marissa. They sat in silence, each one checking their watch every now and then. Marissa rolled her eyes and looked from Summer, to Seth, to Ryan.

"Ryan. Truth or dare."

"What?"

"Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Did you ever think Mrs. Cohen was hot?"

Seth crinkled his nose and slunk down in his seat. Ryan's eyes had widened and he looked absently forward at Marissa. He shook his head and fell back against the couch.

"Maybe."

Marissa giggled. "Keep going."

"Not, like, when she was my mom."

"But..."

"I don't know. When I first got here. Maybe. A little."

"God, dude. Uh." Seth shook his head rapidly and let his head fall to his hand.

"Seth. Truth or dare?" Marissa raised her eyebrows and Seth quivered.

"Dare."

Marissa looked over to the t.v. still playing some reality show.

"Kiss her." She pointed at the t.v. at a castmate grinning at the milkman.

"Uh, how?"

"Kiss the t.v."

Seth shrugged, walked over, and, without any hesitation, licked the t.v. He gagged for a second and shook his head. "Dust."

Marissa laughed, "Gross" as he sat back down.

"Marissa. Truth or dare." Seth muttered, swallowing.

"Truth."

"What's it like being married? Honestly."

She shrugged. "It's not as big a difference as people think it is. People just stop looking quicker."

"What do you mean?"

"Guys stop checking me out."

"Do you ever wish you didn't do it?"

"Maybe sometimes."

"Why?"

"Because, I don't know. Brendan's not around a lot. I miss him when he's gone."

"If you had to do it again?"

"I'd probably wait a little longer. But actually...probably...I would. Do it again."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"You'd marry Brendan?"

"Yes."

"What if you could choose between him and Ryan? You guys were pretty close."

The smile had slipped off of Marissa's face and she shrugged. "That's another question."

Ryan had looked the other way, pretending he couldn't hear. Seth watched him and watched Marissa look the other way.

"What happened?" Seth looked at Summer, but she shook her head. He looked back around at Ryan.

"Nothing. It was just...ended." He looked away again and Seth didn't bother looking back to Marissa.

"Oh."

"Um, Riss, Chris is at Mike's house. Would you, um, come with me?" Summer nodded and picked up Marissa's hand, tugging her out of the room.

Seth slouched down on the couch, Ryan mimicking him.

"So what did happen?" Seth nodded his head slightly forward, but Ryan just lifted his shoulders.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean? You were there."

"It just wasn't the same. I had a kid. She had waited too long. Just stuff."

"Meaning?"

"We didn't match. I mean, we never really did, but we were too different. And not in the good opposites attract way. Like we couldn't understand each other anymore. And it ended."

"Did you do it?"

"I don't remember. I didn't love her like I used to. It was over. We both knew it. It was, like, a given."

"A given."

"It was just understood."

"Oh."

"We just don't talk about it. Apparently, she wasn't really ready to let go, because she was having a hard time with love and whatever. She was always with Summer, so...after a while, I mean, she got over me, obviously. I mean, she loves Brendan. A lot. And he loves her too. And it's good for her. So, yeah."

"You never talk about it? That was, like, a storybook romance thing and you just threw it away? Like it was nothing?"

"We know it wasn't nothing. It's just not important anymore. There are more significant things currently happening in our lives. So we push it back a little."

"How do you do it? Just ignore the fact that anything happened."

"We have to. It was never really a problem, because we just knew it was something that we had to do."

Seth shrugged and looked back at the screen, trying to distinguish the cast members from the cast members' play toys.

"Why?" Ryan mentioned, following Seth's gaze.

"Why what?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Just interested."

"Because..."

"Just curiosity."

"Right. Because you don't care about what might potentially shatter your relationship with Summer, because you're not having a, well almost, an affair with her."

"Yes. Wait. What?"

"Yeah. You guys suck at that sneaking around thing."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So that's why you're interested?"

"No."

"No."

"I have to break that thing off anyway."

"Oh yeah. That's what you said before."

"And I did break it off."

"For, like, a day."

"How'd you know?"

"Oh. After I saw you guys, I talked to Kirsten."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Seth looked away again.

"So. You're not going to get all preachy and say that I should just pick whether or not I want to be with her?"

"I don't think I have to."

"Why not?"

"Because you just said it."

"Doesn't mean I'm going to do it."

"Yes you will. You care too much about what's best for her."

Ryan nodded and stood up, walking out of the room.

Summer pulled into a driveway that was noticeably shorter than the others. She tossed her keys into her purse and pulled Marissa up with her to the front door. She knocked sharply, and let a hand slip to her purse's strap. The door opened and she smiled.

"Hi. I'm Chris's mom. Summer. You're Mike's mom?"

The woman was very obviously in her mid forties, with a wrinkle in her forehead for nearly every year she had been alive. She smiled back and nodded, taking Summer's hand, after a moment's hesitation.

"Yes. Chris is a really good boy. I hope some of him rubbed off on Mikey."

Summer smiled and nodded. "He is a good boy."

"Chris! Your mother's here." The woman yelled in an almost singing voice behind the door. She looked back at Summer.

"I'm Charlene."

"Summer."

She nodded and lay her hands on Chris's shoulders when he came to the door with a dramatically blonde boy a head taller than him. Summer's smile extended.

"Hi Mike. I'm Chris's mom."

The boy crinkled his forehead. "How old are you?"

"Michael!" Mrs. Mikey's mom shoved his shoulder. "That's not a question you ask."

"What? She's younger than you." The boy's lip slightly curled, knowing he had shut up his mother. He looked back at Summer.

"She's twenty five." Chris said, walking away from the woman, and holding Summer's hand.

"That's _really_ young! That's how old Jake's _sister_ is."

"Michael, please. Go play with your father." Mrs. Mikey's mom tapped his shoulder again and gestured behind her. Mike took one last look at Summer before running off.

"I'm really sorry about him. He does have horrible manners."

"No. It's really okay."

"Okay. I am very sorry. It was nice to meet you. Chris, honey, whenever you want to come back, just call, okay?"

Chris nodded and held Summer's hand a little tighter. She squeezed it briefly and caught his eye before saying goodbye to the woman and walking with him to the car. Chris grinned up at Marissa.

"Guess what, Aunt Marissa."

"You've become _president_ of the United States."

Chris laughed and shook his head. "No. Look."

He stuck his finger into his mouth and probed his cheek until she could see the back of his mouth. The fifth tooth back was just a hole.

"Oh my god. Are you sure you're not ten?"

He nodded. "I'm seven."

"You're so _old_."

"That's why my mommy's so young."

Summer sighed and nodded. "Yes, honey."

"But it's a good thing. Because my mommy's prettier than all the other mommies."

Marissa laughed. "You're right, Chris. She is."

Chris nodded. "I'm very good at _percepting_ people."

Summer and Marissa both giggled. "Did Uncle Ryan tell you that?"

"No. Grandpa."

Summer nodded. "Grandpa's right."

"I know."

"Okay."

"Mommy?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Did you make up with Seth when I was gone?"

"What?"

"Did you guys _kiss_ and _make up_?" Chris winked at Marissa. She covered her mouth with her hand, visibly biting her cheek.

Summer stared at Marissa. "What are you saying, Chris?"

"Nothing."

"Chris..."

"Nothing."

Summer stopped the car and pulled over to the side. "Seth Christopher, I'm not going to ask again."

"I _saw_ you guys. Me and Aunt Marissa did."

"What?"

"You guys were at the driveway. And you thought we didn't see you, but we did."

"And Aunt Marissa didn't tell me?"

Marissa stopped laughing and turned back around in her seat. "Maybe Aunt Marissa never had the right moment to tell you."

"Mmm." Summer looked away from Marissa, sighed, and pulled the car back onto the road.

"Funny. That's what you said with _Seth_ on the _driveway_." Chris's eye gleamed.


	17. Memorandum

_Italics are flashbacks. Nothing belongs to me. Peace and love..._

Summer stepped into the room and he immediately swept her into his arms. He kissed her hard and she kissed him eagerly back. He told her loved her more than he ever had before and she nodded, but was cut off before saying anything from his hungry kisses. He murmured against her lips, neck, and hair how beautiful she was and how much he wanted to take care of her. She nodded into his warm, wet lips kissing her jaw line and collarbone until she couldn't see. He finally looked back up at her with dark, wet eyes and told her again how beautiful she was. His Summer.

She'd started doing this a lot, recently. Dreaming while she was awake. Dreaming of things she could never have. Too much drama to be able to fixed by a single day. Dreaming of ever the wild. Seth had played that song for her once and it had been the line she had focused on.

_"Seth?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"What about you?"_

_"What do you mean, what about me?"_

_"How do you dream?"_

_He spun around on his desk chair to grin at her on his bed._

_"Come on, Summer, I got you. What do you think?"_

_She smiled back._

_He laughed and spun back around. "Always dream ever the wild. It's the only way anything will get done."_

_Summer grinned farther and stood behind his chair, bending over the back to get to his lips. He looked up at her and laughed as she tried to cradle his head with her elbows while her stomach was being stabbed with the plastic back of his chair. He laughed harder and spun around, catching her in his lap as his feet hit the back of her legs. She giggled but shook her head._

_"It shouldn't amuse you when I fall."_

_"But you do it very cutely."_

_"But I could've been seriously hurt."_

_"I'd catch you."_

_"But what if you missed?"_

_He shook his head until his face was buried in her hair._

_"Impossible, sweetheart. I'll always catch you."_

She pulled into the driveway, trying to pretend nothing had been in her head to make her disappointed because of the few hellos being her only greeting. She was pissed off already; a little tenderness would be appreciated.

Summer opened the door and saw Seth walk by, a slight grin creeping to his face. She smiled back for a quick second, but realized quickly that he wasn't going to sweep her away into his arms. It had been known for three days that he and she had been hooking up, and he had done nothing about it.

Not that he hadn't wanted to.

Every time Summer entered the room, Seth started to blush and his heart broke a little bit. That's why he hadn't been able do it.

_Seth tried to stand still as his feet sunk into the wet sand. Like quicksand, it was trying to swallow him whole. He could tell. He didn't look up; he didn't want to. Because he knew that if he looked up, it would be the same as that morning. Blonde and green eyed and perfect with a small waist and big boobs. But he couldn't look up. This was supposed to be a moment he couldn't forget, and he didn't even want to see it. She stood in front of him and took his hand, completely void of sweat. In fact, too dry. She didn't notice. She didn't notice anything. She was dressed in an extremely low cut white dress with a slit up to her thigh. And her parents were in the front row. Just her parents and her friends. Nothing belonging to him. But still, if he could only change one thing, he'd be getting married to Summer in front of twenty of Brittany's friends and family._

_"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to join Seth Cohen" He flinched subtly as the priest called out his name. "And Brittany Ronso in holy matrimony. If there is anyone who can give just cause as to why these two cannot be married, speak now or forever hold your peace."_

_Speak now or forever hold your peace. His mouth was dry. He couldn't speak now._

_"Brittany, take Seth's hand."_

_She held his hand up to her and tried to wink at him conspicuously from under her veil._

_"Brittany, do you take thee, Seth, to be your wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in holy matrimony? Do you promise to love him, to honor and cherish him, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, and to be to him in all things a good and faithful wife as long as you both shall live?"_

_"I do." She smiled a little too broadly, and he desperately wanted to return it, but he couldn't._

_"Seth, take Brittany's hand."_

_He took her hand and was surprised to see his own wasn't shaking. He was cool._

_"Seth, do you take thee, Brittany, to be your wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in holy matrimony?"_

_It occurred to him that the question of a Jewish ceremony had never even come up. He didn't even know if she knew that he was, in fact, Jewish at all. He didn't know if she would have cared if she had known._

_"Do you promise to love her, to honor and cherish her, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer..."_

_She didn't even know that when he hit twenty-five, he would become a multi-millionaire. She asked for a second about whether he minded that his parents wouldn't be there, but he shrugged and said they couldn't make it. She nodded after a second, kissed him quickly on the lips, and went back to designing the wedding invitations._

_"And to be to her in all things a good and faithful husband as long as you both shall live?"_

_She looked up at him and grinned. He tried to grin back, but couldn't. He looked at the very Catholic minister and looked at her very plain, old looking parents sitting in the front row, looking at him._

_"Seth?" Brittany looked up at him and tried to keep smiling, even though he hadn't said anything in more than a minute._

_"I..." He took one hand from hers and stuck it into his pocket. He pulled it back up in front of his face and stared at the photograph for a second._

_"Honey, what's that?"_

_Brittany had her head cocked and a light blush reaching her cheeks._

_"Brittany." He looked up at her and put the picture back in his pocket. "You're a beautiful girl. You know that. I know that. Everyone here knows that. But...I mean...this isn't fair. You're such a good person, and that's why this isn't fair. It isn't fair to you. You deserve so much more than me. Someone that can love you unconditionally." He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Brittany, I...have to go."_

_He kissed her hand that was still in his and walked slowly down the white aisle, eyes on his back; he could feel them there. It wasn't like in the movies, but it was the best he could do._

He wanted to love Summer. Say that that was his reason. Because it was. But he couldn't say it. He could, but somehow he couldn't find enough meaning inside of him to truly mean it. He'd told Brittany he loved her. She had smiled and said it back.

She didn't even know his favorite color.

Seth fell backwards onto Ryan's bed, next to Jenn. She rolled over onto her stomach and watched him breathe.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing." She blew a bubble and popped it in her mouth.

"Okay."

Ryan walked out of the closet and pulled on a black tee shirt.

"Seth, man, you shouldn't be so depressed all the time. Get a hobby."

"A hobby?"

"A pet. Knitting. Something."

Seth rolled his eyes and Ryan knocked his head with a pillow.

"Don't set a bad example for my daughter. Do something."

"Do what?"

"Something. Now."

_"There's nothing to do." Jenn whined, throwing her feet up onto the bed above her._

_Summer nodded down at the girl, resting her head on her crossed arms. "Play a game."_

_Jenn rolled her eyes. "What game?"_

_"Something fun."_

_"With who?"_

_"Chris. He's bored too."_

_"How do you know?"_

_"Mother's instinct."_

_"Sure." Jenn mumbled, but she got up anyway and walked out of the room. Summer rolled over onto her back and Ryan ran over from the bookcase. His hands grazed her jean covered thighs as he kissed her harder by the second. Summer had learned to not think. Not picture him coming home and opening the door on something she never even would've considered, had circumstances been different. She'd had dreams like that. Him walking on them and telling her that she had his blessing. Then she'd gotten married to Ryan and he had told her to live happily ever after. While he stayed alone his entire life._

_But he wasn't here. And it didn't seem like he was coming home anytime soon. So screw him._

_Ryan sunk his head down to her ear; she halfway expected him to whisper something to make her shiver underneath his hot breath. But Ryan never said anything. He always stayed silent. He could talk to her when they were sitting on the couch with Jenn and Chris, but behind closed doors, he didn't say anything, reminding her of when he first got here. Although maybe that was normal. Maybe she had been spoiled by a guy that whispered how beautiful she was and how lucky he was to get her. Maybe some guys just talk too much. She missed it sometimes, though._

_Summer felt Ryan's head move to the center of her neck and she rose slightly closer to him. She pulled his smooth, straight, blonde hair up so his lips landed back on hers, when the door opened._

_She thought the impossible had happened. He was here._

_But when their heads turned to the doorway, she was slightly relieved but disappointed, for it wasn't him. Marissa._

_Marissa stood still and nodded, slowly. "Oh. S-sorry. I should...knock."_

_She started to walk away, but Summer ran to her and held her arm. "Marissa..."_

_Marissa turned around and bit her lip. Summer hugged her and whispered words of reassurance into her ear. She started to nod and Summer let her go. She brushed a few strands of hair out of Marissa's face and smiled. Marissa just nodded again. Summer took her hand and walked her out of the room, and into the bathroom. Marissa apparently found how to work her mouth._

_"Sum, what the hell are you doing? Do understand what you're doing? You're...trying to replace Seth with the closest you can find, but you can't just do that. I know you miss him, but this is just...you can't do that."_

_"Marissa..."_

_"You know that. Come on, Summer, you don't love Ryan. You know that. I...you're taking the easy way out. Deal with losing Seth, you don't have to...it's Ryan. You don't...Ryan. I mean...you know."_

_"Okay. Okay. Relax, Riss. Breathe."_

_Marissa shook her head and sat down on the floor. Summer slid down next to her and leaned her head on her shoulder._

_"It's okay, Riss."_

_"Do you really think you like him like that?"_

_Summer shrugged. Marissa turned her head and kissed the top of Summer's._

_"He still might come back."_

_"Who?"_

_"He might."_

_"Riss, what are you talking about?"_

_Summer pulled her head up and Marissa just shrugged back. "You never know."_

Summer opened the door and Seth sat up. Ryan looked from her to him and shook his head.

"You guys really need to work all of this out." He pointed to both of them, grabbed Jenn and pulled her over his shoulder, and walked out of the room, ignoring her "Daddy!"s.

Summer crossed her arms and pivoted to one foot. "Cohen..."

He walked over and leaned in the doorway across from her. She wanted him to say something, anything, but he just watched her.

"Cohen, I, um, I don't think we have to really involve everyone else into our problems. I, uh, I think we should either learn to be friends who are comfortable with each other, or..." She left the sentence hanging in mid air. He nodded.

"Yeah. Um...so which do you..."

She shrugged. "I think..."

Suddenly, his arms were uncrossed and were instead wrapped around her back and his lips were on hers and her hands were still crossed across her chest and he was pulling her in closer and closer to him. And she still wasn't sure exactly what this meant, but she didn't really care. Because it was Seth. And she was willing to let him get away with most things in the world. Still.

His breath was harsh, when his lips finally ripped away from hers. She was looking up at him, her lips still slightly parted, and he wasn't exactly sure what to say.

"Um..." He started. " 'Or' would probably be the, uh, my, anyway, preferred...choice."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

It was awkward, but she was okay with that. Because he was grinning now and it was because of her.

"So, should we, um, shake on it or something?" He looked at her, his grin seeming contagious.

"Yeah. Okay."

He held out his hand and she slipped her own inside. They were still staring at each other, their hands slowly moving up and down.

"Now what?" She murmured, afraid to take her eyes away.

"Now we...finish this." He held her hand closer to his chest and kissed her again. They heard footsteps, and Seth almost pulled away out of habit, but Summer had her hand on the back of his head. She pulled slowly away from him and turned her head to the little boy at her foot, grinning nearly as much as Seth had been.

"See? I told you." Chris tried to not laugh as Summer nodded.

"I should listen to you much more often."

"You _should_."

Seth nodded too and clapped Chris's shoulder. "Good call, Chris."

"Yup. Mom, I need to find that book that Grandpa gave me."

"Okay. Bye, Seth."

He nodded and she grinned again. She started to walk away, but he called after her.

"Hey Summer?"

She turned around for a second and he said, "What's my favorite color?"

She looked at him a little strangely, but replied, without thinking, "That fruity light teal thing. Like a robin's egg."

_Eesh, that took a long time. I'm sorry for putting y'all through all that pain, but I have to say I'm probably one of the happiest people after that last chapter. I hope the flashbacks explained a bit more, remember them. They might be important later on...And I know most of this chapter was filler, but I'm kind of setting it up for a complete other part of this story. So please leave a review, because I love you guys so much. And kay.note? Damn, you always have something interesting to say, so please keep that up. You usually are the one that gets me through my blocks. And have faith in our man. He's pretty confused. Peace and love..._


	18. Solace

She was sleeping. He was sure of it. She wasn't doing that thing where she pretended to sleep so he could leave to do what he wanted. He could tell the difference. For the most part.

Ryan slid his arm from underneath Jenn's back and kissed her forehead. She always seemed to take his breath away. When Theresa was pregnant, he was sure he was going to get one of the assholes. Some kids are perfect, some kids are assholes, and then there's Jenn. She was sweet and kind and careful, while still being mischievous enough to not be one of those Barbie doll Newport creations. As soon as she had been born, she had been the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and she kept getting better. He didn't understand how some people said their kids were the end of their lives. Jenn was the beginning of everything.

Ryan walked back down the stairs and leaned back in the chair next to Kirsten. She smiled at him and he smiled back. On her other side, Summer was gradually falling asleep on Seth's lap. Marissa sat on their other side, almost falling asleep herself, but with no Seth to lean her head against, she used her own hand. Sandy still wasn't home yet.

Seth was whispering something in Summer's hair, getting constant responses. She looked like she was thirteen, giggling at every single word he said. She looked happy. Ryan had forgotten what it was like to do that. Laugh for no reason. Jenn did it all the time. And she could make him laugh, but she was his daughter. He had to love her. Summer didn't have to laugh like that.

Ryan pushed his hands a little farther down in his sweatshirt pocket. Kirsten smiled at him again and rubbed his hand. Marissa exhaled.

"My feet hurt. They're too cold."

Kirsten shrugged and tugged the sleeves of her own sweatshirt down. She nudged Ryan. "How's life going, honey?"

He laughed and shrugged back. "Could be worse."

"Yeah?"

"I guess."

Summer had that look in her eye that she always got when Chris said he wasn't good enough to do something. Ryan looked the other way.

"You guys seriously should not worry about me as much as you do."

"But it's only cause we _love_ our little Ryan." Summer grinned at him until he turned back around. Marissa nodded.

"You're awesome, dude."

"Well that's all right, then." He laughed and leaned farther back down in the lawn chair.

Marissa grinned again and shivered. "Have to go. Brandon should be home...in like ten minutes. See you guys."

Everyone smiled and said their goodbyes, Kirsten pulling away.

"Was that the car?" She stood up and ran around the house to the front lawn to scope the driveway for Sandy's car. Ryan looked back to Seth and Summer.

His arm was around her back; her entire body curled up against his side. Her eyes were partially closed; his lips so close against her ear he could make her giggle just by breathing harshly. She had light goosebumps on her arm from the cool air, but every so often, his arm slid up and down her arm until the bumps disappeared and her arm warmed up. She smiled against the pressure of his hand and snuggled in closer against his sweatshirt. And it wasn't just that she looked so beautiful and comfortable and peaceful and small next to him; it was that it , or something.

Summer giggled again as Seth's breath tickled her ear. She bit her lip as her eyes lay on Ryan. She did that thing she had learned to do when she became a mother; that smile that showed she knew what was best for the poor boy who doesn't know what he's doing had surfaced.

"Ryan, you know, there's this girl named...what was her name? Um...Kathleen? Maybe. Well, she's really pretty and I think she's single, because..."

"Summer. Stop. It's okay. Don't go all pimp on me."

"No, I mean, I wasn't trying to...pimp you out or whatever. I was just saying..."

"I know." Ryan nodded and traced the soft cushion covering the arm of his chair with his pointer finger.

Seth shuffled in his seat, bringing Summer in even closer against him, if that was possible. He nodded slightly to Ryan, causing his chin to bump against Summer's head.

"Things are changing, man. It could get good." Seth lay his cheek down against her head. Ryan nodded back.

"Yeah. Things are changing." Ryan turned his head to the house barely making any sounds behind him. "So, um, I'm going to just...go to bed. I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Are you okay?" Summer looked away from her fingers intertwined with Seth's.

"Yeah. I'm okay." Ryan nodded. "Good night."

"Night, man." Seth watched Ryan make his way into the big house. "He's not going to be depressed forever, right? I mean, like, he's going to get over it." He turned to look at Summer behind his shoulder. She just shrugged.

"I don't know. It's like he's forgotten to care about himself too."

Seth nodded, threading Summer's hair through his fingers absently. Her shoulder slumped down against the fold in his neck, and she slithered her arm out from behind his back, inspecting the creases imprinted into it from the chair. He kissed the top of her head and pulled his sweatshirt around her as well.

"Seth!"

He pulled his face out of her hair and smiled lightly when he saw Chris.

"Hey, kid, what's up?"

"I can't sleep. And Uncle Ryan said you and Mom were still up."

"Yeah."

"So what do you guys want to do?"

Chris sat down in the lawn chair across from the two of them; Summer curled out of Seth's sweatshirt.

"What do you want to do, babe?" She grinned at Chris, but he just shrugged.

"I don't know. But I'm not tired."

"Okay. Whatever you want, kid." Seth slipped his hand farther around Summer's waist.

Chris cocked his head slightly to one side and nodded slowly. "That's what my dad calls me."

Seth looked quickly to Summer's face, but she wasn't looking at him. He fumbled with his words, but managed to push away the red creeping over his entire face, and smiled.

"You know what your dad used to call me?"

Chris shook his head.

"Death Breath Seth."

Chris giggled and shook his head again. "Why?"

"We didn't get along."

"Do you still don't get along?"

"No. When Uncle Ryan came, your dad got nicer. And then we were friends."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Because whenever Uncle Ryan used to talk about you, my daddy said to change the topic."

"Well, your dad always thought he knew best. And maybe he did. But we got along."

"Okay. It's okay, though, because sometimes, my daddy can be an idiot."

"Chris!" Summer was laughing, though.

"What? It's _true_. Sometimes, he thinks he's _a lot_ funnier than he is." Chris shrugged and leaned back in his chair, rocking the back legs off the ground.

Seth nodded. "But he's a good guy."

Chris nodded too. "I know. I talked to him yesterday. He says he got a new girlfriend."

Summer's head tilted faintly up. "When did he call?"

"When you guys were at the beach. He talked to me and then he talked to Uncle Ryan a bit."

She nodded. "What else did he say?"

"Umm...he said there's this new car that he...oh. Never mind."

"What is it?"

"Nothing." Chris was pushing a grin down from his lips.

"Chris..."

"I can't _tell_ you, Mommy. It's a secret."

"You can tell me everything, Chris."

"You can't tell him I told you."

"Cross my heart."

"He's giving it to you for Christmas."

"Your dad's getting me a car?"

Chris nodded and laughed. "He says it's really cool. Oh yeah, and he said he wanted to see me again. He wants me to come down to Cancun. Can I go?"

"Luke wants you to go to Cancun?"

"Yeah. He said you could come too."

"I don't know, honey. Maybe you should let me discuss it with him first."

"Does that mean no? Because I want to go."

"I'll talk to him."

"Please?"

"I'll talk to him."

"Fine. That would be so super cool, though."

"Super cool?"

"Yes."

Seth's fingers danced up Summer's arm; his eyes were in a blank stare. He snapped his face up to look at Chris and seemed to get a revelation.

"You know what we should do; we should take your mom to see how good you are on the water."

Chris shrugged. "I'm not that good."

"But you're getting better. That would be fun, right?" Seth bobbed his head gently, but Chris just shrugged again.

"Yeah, I guess."

Seth nodded and straightened his back a little. On the floor, next to his foot, Seth's cell rang. He put up one finger to Summer and Chris and picked it up. Chris stood up and walked along the edge of the pool, one side of the other, as Seth talked into the phone. Seth nodded his head toward the pool house, and Summer nodded. He kissed her cheek and walked into it. Summer followed Chris around the pool.

"Do you really think I can't go to Cancun with Dad?"

Summer sighed. "I don't know, baby. You still have school. And Cancun can get pretty wild."

"But I'd be with Dad. And you can come too. And I can miss some school."

"I know. But still, Chris, you're a little young."

"I'm almost eight."

"But Cancun is..."

"With Dad. It wouldn't be so bad."

"I still have to talk to him. But maybe. Maybe."

"Okay. Thanks, Mom."

"Yeah." She placed her hands on his shoulders and hugged him into her waist.

Seth walked, looking rather confused, out to them, and sat behind Summer's legs, dangling his own in the pool.

"Something wrong?" Summer asked.

"No. Nothing."

"Who was that?"

"No one."

"Okay..."

He shook his head, telling her to silently drop it. She nodded and turned her head back to Chris.

"Hey Chris? Are you cold?"

He didn't turn around and kept walking, one foot in front of the other, as he shook his head. "Why?"

"Because it's not good to be wet when you're cold."

"What?"

Summer giggled and picked him up around the waist and threw him, screaming, into the pool. As he came up for air, brown hair turning black plastered to his forehead, he nodded quickly to Seth as his jaw shivered. Summer turned quickly around, but Seth had already lifted her off her feet and thrown her in next to her son. She had, however, grabbed onto his shirt too, so he fell in on top of her. He came up after her; she slapped his head, making him fall back down.

"Hey." He sputtered water out of his mouth and gasped.

"Why'd you do that?"

"It was his fault." Seth pointed at Chris, and Summer shot him a glare as she swam to the side. She pushed herself out of the pool and squeezed out her hair. Chris followed her, his teeth chattering.

"If I were you, little man, I would be being _very _nice to me if you _ever_ want to even _plan_ on going to Cancun."

"Sorry, Mom. It was kind of funny though, right?"

She glared harder. Chris nodded.

"Okay. Bed. Going. Night. Love. You." He grinned and dodged the specks of water she flicked at him.

Summer turned her head back around and crossed her arms around her soaking tee shirt. Seth bit back a grin and she shook her head.

"If you laugh right now, I seriously have nothing in me to promise I won't completely kick your ass."

"I wouldn't laugh at you, beautiful."

She shot him a look and he laughed. "See, I'm laughing with you."

"You're such an asshole."

"I know. I'm sorry. Habit." He kissed her bowed temple and smoothed down the water drops in her hair. She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, sure, but..."

He pushed up on his palms and kissed her lips, pushing harder every now and then, getting himself closer to her. After a while, his hands got sore and he released himself back down into the water.

"I'm sorry." He was whispering in that coarse voice that broke so easily. Summer just laughed.

"You're such a suck up."

"I try, baby."

She giggled and let him pull her soaking wet tee shirt back into the pool with him.

_I know, I know; I make you wait close to forever and give you a short mostly bit of filler. I am sorry. I promise to do better next time, in length and in content. But this one does set up things the way I want them, so it should be easier to get the next chapters out. Take this as a peace offering, and I promise to ignore my schoolbooks more often for you guys. Josh Schwartz is my god (how awesome was that premiere, but see? See? He's a fan of the filler as well) and nothing belongs to me except season 1 on DVD. Muhahahaha...loser. Peace and love..._


	19. Phobia

_Nothing has suddenly jumped into my possession. Josh Schwartz is still the shit. (Pst, see I told you. Look at this speed. And length. Who loves you, baby?) Peace and love..._

_This chapter's dedicated to Justine._

"Boo."

Chris spun around on his chair to have his eyes covered by his dad's dark brown jacket. Luke laughed and swung the boy up onto his shoulder.

"Daddy, guess what."

"What?"

"Mommy said it was okay."

"What was okay? Cancun?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome, kid. You're going to love it so much there. I went down about a month ago, and they tell me it's just as hot. And the beaches are fantastic."

Chris nodded. "And we're going to hang out, right?"

"Of course, kid. I just have to get a few things done and then I will be all yours." Luke kissed the top of the little boy's head and grinned. "So where's your mom?"

"Uh...I think she's out with Grandma."

"All right. So what are you up to?"

Chris shrugged. Luke clapped a hand on each of his shoulders and looked over his head at the thin white piece of paper in front of the seven year old. A dark green oval sat in the direct center, with dramatic highlights all over it. There was another patch drawn connected to the oval of dark beige, with the background covered in dark, dark blue. A little brown square that was desperately trying to be a cube stayed off to the side.

"Did you do this?" Luke tapped his hand up and down on Chris's shoulder. Chris nodded.

"What is it?"

Chris cocked his head for a minute, but just shrugged. "Samoa."

"Sam what?"

"Samoa. It's an island in the South Pacific Ocean."

"Oh. Okay. That's cool."

"Yeah."

"Why do you like it so much?"

Chris shrugged again and crossed his arms around his chest. "Seth told me stories about it."

"Oh. Okay. Like what?"

"Just how pretty it was."

"Does he tell you a lot of stories?"

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, it sounds cool and stuff."

"That's good. That you guys can talk. He and your mom back together?"

Chris nodded. "Yeah."

"Cool."

"Yup."

"Okay, so I'm going to...is Ryan here?"

"Uh, yeah. Upstairs."

"Okay. Thanks, kid."

Luke wrapped his arm around Chris's neck and jogged up the stairs. Chris leaned back over the sheet of paper and drew a few dolphins in the ocean. Summer liked dolphins. He folded up the piece of paper and walked out to the pool house to put it under his pillow.

Luke nodded curtly to Jenn as she walked out of her room. She nodded back, watching him close the door behind him. No matter what he said, Jenn knew that Seth didn't like Luke. She didn't like him either. Never really did.

Luke stood with his back against the door as Ryan made his bed.

"You know, it's like I'm imposing now."

"What do you mean, man?" Ryan tucked the sheet under the mattress and leaned against the desk chair in the corner.

"I don't...it's very awkward. It's like people here think I only come for Summer."

"And you don't."

"No, no, of course not. Chris is my son."

"That's true."

"Right. So people should get that I don't just come for Summer, so why do I get those looks? Especially from your mom."

Ryan pivoted onto one foot. "Kirsten's...protective. And she really wants Seth and Summer to work out. Maybe she sees you as a threat."

"A threat to what? If Summer wants to be with Seth, I'm not going to stop her."

"I know. Summer knows. Seth knows. Kirsten isn't sure."

"But what about Jenn? She looks at me the same way."

"Jenn's stubborn and very attached to Seth. She'll get over it."

"But even Chris. He's...reluctant to talk to me. It's like he's not sure what he wants to tell me and what he doesn't."

"I don't know, man. You probably don't have to worry so much about that either. Chris is okay. And he talks to Seth." Luke's jaw tightened just a little. Ryan shook his head and fumbled slightly with his words. "And...and Summer too."

"Everyone really doesn't care that that dude's been floating around the ocean for a decade, do they?"

"Luke, man..."

"It's like he gets everything back by just smiling and saying he's sorry. Why? What makes him so...damn...forgivable?"

"I don't know. He is still a good guy, though, Luke. I mean..."

"How do you _know_? He's only been here a few months."

"I _don't_ know. But he's still Seth. It's not like he could've become a different person."

"How do you know? He was out there for a long time."

"Luke, stop. He's Seth. And I-I know he's still...good."

"You didn't even know him that well when he lived here. You knew him for a year. One year's able to make nine years okay?"

"Stop. Do not question how well I knew him. I knew him. Better than most people here. Okay?"

"Calm down, okay, dude? Relax. I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. But what about Summer? She knew him for even less time."

"Summer's Summer. You want to know why she thinks the way she does? You ask her. I don't know. And you know what all this is making you sound like, don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You sound jealous."

"I'm not."

"Yeah? Then why are you chastising him? What has he ever done to you? Besides take away Summer."

"I don't...well, I mean, I do...Summer's Chris's mom. And so I guess I have to tale care of her. And I don't know if I think she should be trusting this guy as much as she is."

"What if it wasn't Seth? What if Summer fell for some guy around here? Do you honestly think you'd be this upset that they were getting close?"

"I don't know. Why does it matter anyway?"

"Because. If it was any other guy, you wouldn't be getting upset because you'd know that it wasn't going to be serious. You're intimidated by Seth, because you know that she cares about him. And that there's a chance that they're in it for the long run. And that scares you."

"But I don't like Summer like that."

"Yeah? You sure?"

"Yes. I have a girlfriend now, anyway. I'm just looking out for her and for Chris. It's my responsibility."

"Come on, Luke. Don't be using big words you don't understand."

Luke's face shot up. "What? What did you say?"

"I'm just saying you don't really get responsibility so well. You don't have that many. Responsibilities."

"What are you saying? I don't stay here all the time, so I don't care about my son? About his mother? I don't have responsibilities? You know shit, dude."

"That's one of them."

"One of what?"

"Jenn and Chris have been using words like that. And they say it's okay because you say them. See? It's a responsibility that you don't understand. You're a role model to these kids and if you do something, they think it's okay."

"I don't think I'm any role model to those kids when they have people like you around them."

"What's that mean?"

"That means that you guys are making them believe that I'm no good. Just because you, and Kirsten, and even Summer like Seth a little too much and you think I'm a threat or whatever just because I've been around when he hasn't."

"Luke. Why are you getting mad at me?"

"Because you're getting mad at me."

"Just because you're being an ass about Seth."

"_Someone_ needs to be. He has a power over everyone in this house and he doesn't even deserve it."

"Whatever, man. I gotta go."

Ryan walked to the door, pushing Luke aside. Luke put his hand on Ryan's shoulder, stopping him from going forward.

"Luke..."

"What happened to you? You didn't use to pick favorites."

"Get off me, man."

Luke took back his hand and shoved both of them into his sweatshirt. "It's true though, dude. Think about it."

Ryan shoved the door closed as hard as he could and stalked down the stairs. He was right, and that was probably what pissed Ryan off the most. Luke, the kid who never did anything right but got it right in the end, was completely right. Ryan never picked favorites. He gave everyone an equal say and he listened to all of it. It's what got him through those last painful years of high school when he decided to finish it. It's what kept him alive with Trey's friends. But Luke talking bad about Seth behind his back wasn't right. It wasn't right at all. Seth didn't need that shit. He didn't need any of it. But there was still that voice in the back of Ryan's head that said he blew up at Luke because he was afraid if one person yelled at Seth again, he might blow them all off. The voice said that he and Kirsten thought the same way. They thought that if Seth wasn't happy, then he would leave them again. And no one needed that.

Seth had gone down to Sandy's office to talk to him, so Ryan was left in the house with Chris, Jenn, and Luke. A weird combination, so if he could avoid all of them, that would probably be for the best. He remembered easily the year of sixteen. Luke can't just say he can't remember. Ryan remembered perfectly. Seth was always laughing about something and making Ryan laugh with him. Summer was always smiling, and for patches in time, Marissa couldn't even hide her smiles. They were all happy, and anything Ryan could do to get that back would have to do.

"Daddy?"

Ryan spun around to see Jenn looking up at him with those big eyes of hers that tore through his skin.

"Is something wrong?"

"No. Jenn, no. It's all...fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, yes. It's all okay."

"Are you okay?"

He nodded, but he knew she would never believe him. Jenn didn't say anything, but walked forward and hugged her dad's waist as tightly as she could. Ryan bent his head down and stroked her hair with his middle finger. Her face buried quickly into his tee shirt and he thumbed the light, fragile hairs on the back of her neck.

"Daddy, are you mad at Uncle Luke?"

"No."

"Are you mad at Uncle Seth?"

"No. Baby, I'm fine. Are you okay?"

"Perfect."

"I know."

"What?"

"Nothing, why didn't you go with Aunt Summer, Aunt Marissa, and Grandma? Didn't you want to see all the pretty dresses?" Summer, Marissa, and Kirsten had gone to find dresses for Sandy's birthday party that they were supposed to have on some yacht. It had been a while since Ryan had been on a yacht. It had been forever since he said "pretty dresses."

"Yeah, but I wanted to stay with you."

"You should have gone."

"No, it's okay. I want to be with _you_, Daddy."

Ryan smiled lightly and kissed her cheeks. "Thank you. But you should do what you want, okay?"

Jenn nodded. "I know. But you need me."

"What?"

"I heard you talking to Uncle Seth last night. You said you needed me to keep sane."

"You shouldn't eavesdrop on people, baby."

"I know. I'm sorry. But I heard my name. Uncle Seth said you were right."

"What do you think about Uncle Seth?"

Jenn's smile turned into a grin. "He's cool."

"Yeah?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Why?"

"Because. He isn't like you and Aunt Summer and Aunt Marissa. It's like he has all these reasons to be happy. And he's funny too."

"Yeah. He's funny."

"And he and Aunt Summer are totally to die for."

Ryan laughed and guided Jenn around to his hip. "Who told you that?"

"Aunt Marissa."

"Uh-huh."

"She's funny too."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And sometimes she talks about...you know what."

"What? She does?"

Jenn nodded and giggled. "Yeah."

Ryan shook his head and pulled Jenn up off the ground. She was still giggling.

Seth sat on the chair in front of Sandy's desk, watching the creases in his forehead get worried over some piece of paper in front of him.

"Dad, you know, you don't have to work so hard."

"Yes, I do." Sandy didn't even look up.

"Mom misses you."

"What do you mean; I saw her this morning."

"But you don't see her like you used to. It makes her upset."

"Seth, son, don't worry about me and your mother. We're fine."

Seth shook his head and crossed his feet. "Dad, you know she loves you. And she needs you."

"She has me."

"I was talking to Ryan. He said you guys have been like this for a while."

"Ryan doesn't have to worry about us either."

"But he does. Because Mom waits for you to come home every day. She gets worried about you. You don't talk to her so much anymore."

"I talk to my family, Seth. Don't tell me I don't."

"You talk to Summer."

"She's family."

"But you don't talk to Mom."

"Your mother is fine. I am fine. Don't worry so much."

"You don't want her to do something she doesn't want to do."

"What? Who?"

"Mom. If you keep doing this to her, she isn't going to be happy."

"I'm not doing anything to her."

"Yeah. That's the problem. You don't..."

"If you're going to give me sex tips, son, I might have to..."

"No. That's not what I mean. You should just...do something for her."

"Like what?"

"Something that lets her know you still love her as much as you do." Seth pulled his wrist up and shrugged. "Whatever. It's still your decision. Just think about it. I have to go. See you at home."

Seth got up and walked out of the office room, nodding to the secretary.

Summer, Marissa, and Kirsten came home with full bags. Marissa and Summer fell into the living room next to Ryan and Jenn; Kirsten fussed over blueprints on the kitchen table.

Seth walked in too and sat at the kitchen table across from his mother.

"What's up, sweetie?"

"Nothing. Finish first quarter in a little less than month in school."

"That's great, honey."

"Seth, did you talk to him?" Summer stopped short when she saw Kirsten and just smiled. Seth nodded and kissed Summer briefly on her cheek.

Kirsten looked up. "Something wrong?"

Seth shook his head. "No. Nothing." From his jean pocket, a dulled ring came. He took it out, looked at the number, and nodded. "Be right back."

He walked out of the room and sighed as he clicked the answer button.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Where are you?"

"Closer to California than I was when I called you before."

"Stay there."

"Why? You coming to get me?"

"No. Because. I don't want to hurt you again."

"Seth, you wouldn't..."

"Yes, I would. I promise you that. You come here; I _will_ hurt you again. And I don't want to. B, I told you..."

"You said a lot. You also said you loved me."

"I did. But I mean, I don't know if I did. But whatever was there or might've been there isn't. Sorry."

"No, you're not. And I don't think it's all not there. If I could just see you."

"No. You can't. I have to go."

"Oh right. I do hate to take you away from your girlfriend."

"No, you don't."

"I was being sarcastic. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes."

"That was quick."

"She's that great."

"Right. So give her a kiss from me."

"No. B, stop this."

"Stop what?"

"Calling me. Being bitter. Hating people you don't know."

"But Seth, we..."

"No. We aren't. We didn't. B, I have to go. Bye."

He hung up the phone and turned it off, before walking back into the kitchen to give Summer more than some brief kiss on her cheek.

Ryan stretched his legs out farther and sighed as Jenn walked out of the room to talk to Summer. Marissa smiled in the smile she used on people she didn't really like, and he just laughed.

"We haven't been alone since..."

"Since Jenn had chicken pox."

"That's right. That was a hard day."

"Yeah."

"So now we have to come up with our own conversations."

"I guess so."

Marissa grinned her real grin, and Ryan shrugged.

"How's...work?"

Luke walked in to disturb any potential conversation, looking frantically from side to side. He focused his gaze on Ryan for a second, looked away to Marissa, smiled, and jogged into the kitchen. Ryan exhaled, put up a finger to Marissa, and followed Luke. Marissa looked quickly around, realized she was alone, and followed Ryan.

"Summer, I think I need to..." Luke started, but cringed when Ryan entered the room.

"Summer, don't let him..."

"Shut up, Ryan, no one asked you to...this doesn't...involve..."

"Luke? Is something wrong?" Summer furrowed her eyebrow and stood up. It occurred to her that every person who lived in the house was watching her, Luke, and Ryan.

"Yes, Summer, can we..."

"Summer, don't talk to him...alone. He's going to..."

"Shut _up_, Chino."

Summer raised her eyebrows. Chino was another 'so high school' phrase, and Luke looked a little surprised himself that he had said it.

"Luke? What's wrong?"

"Summer, please, don't. You don't want to hear...you don't need to..."

"Ryan, why the hell didn't you just tell me that you didn't need to hear this? If I thought you were going to be an asshole about all this, then I wouldn't have come to you in the first place."

"I...I'm not...well, Luke, if you think you're so right, why don't you tell everyone your great idea?" Ryan sputtered out his words, a little shocked that he had that much defense for Seth in him.

"Fine. I-okay. Summer, I don't think you're thinking at all. I think that you do not have the whole picture in mind and I don't think that anyone in this room should be willing to just...see this...happen. Cohen, man, I think you're a great guy, but I think you don't know what people here need. I think you all should see that-that sometimes time is needed to fully...understand...all this." Luke looked kind of glad he had gotten through so many words so fast.

"Luke, what the hell are you talking about?" Kirsten's hands went down to her thighs, worry starting to crease her forehead.

"I don't think you all should...see...forgive Seth...like you have."

Kirsten laughed for a second and shook her head. "I cannot believe that this _bullshit_ is not over yet."

"Mom." Seth nudged her hand with his, trying to quiet down the outburst he saw coming.

"No, Seth, these people need to understand that I don't care what they think about how I feel about you, about...everything. Luke, Ryan, Chris, all of you, you have to have faith in people sometimes and I don't want to hear you talking trash about my son. I do not want to hear you saying things about him that I do not believe are true, and I do not want to see you chase him out of where he belongs. Seth, honey, you belong here. Okay? And no one can prove anything otherwise."

"Mom, stop." Seth covered her hand with his and bit his lip. "I guess this is our confessional night or something, but I guess I should get my own say in here. Luke, man, I am sorry if I did anything to worry you, but if you really feel that strongly about it, then I think a lot of people here, and Dad, agree with you. I shouldn't expect you guys to be as great as you have been, and I want to apologize for letting all of this happen. I'm twenty five and I depend on my mother and father. Insane. So I guess it would be best if I just...step out."

"No. Honey, please, don't."

"Mom, it's okay. I was...I was talking to Dad today, and he mentioned that on my last birthday, my trust fund from Grandpa became active, and...so, I guess that money was the only real reason I had to impose on you guys. Mom, I love you. Ryan, yeah. Summer...But if I'm twenty five and lucky enough to just...get 2.5 million dollars, it would make sense for me to move out. Sorry, Mom, this is going to be for the best. I'll still see you all the time. I swear. Okay. Yeah. So...Luke, if that's what was worrying you...it's okay. I agree."

Luke appeared to be speechless. He couldn't exactly say that's not what he meant. And now, people were just going to hate him more.

"No, man, I-you don't have to do that."

"No, I do. You're right. I don't have what everybody here needs in mind. It's for the best."

Seth pulled his lips in and nodded again. "Yeah."

He walked out of the room, lacing his fingers through Summer's, and pulling her out with him. Luke shook his head and walked into the living room, looking like he was ready to cry.

Seth sat on the edge of the pool, dangling his legs in the water. "Summer, there's this thing that, I mean, I don't know if it's going to be a thing, but it's showing up anyway so it could become a thing."

Summer raised her eyebrows, trying to smile, but it faded away when she saw the look on Seth's face.

"Okay. So...you want to tell me?"

Seth's throat went dry, but he nodded anyway. "Um...there's this girl. And she thinks that...well, I mean...I used to...date her, right? When I was...out there. And so now she thinks that we still...have a future or whatever, and we don't. We don't. But she...she keeps saying she's going to come here and...whatever. So I just...thought you should know."

"She thinks you still like her?"

"She thinks I still love her."

"You loved her?"

"I don't know. I mean...I don't know."

"Oh. Okay."

"Yeah."

Seth created light waves with his foot, avoiding Summer's eyes. She nodded again and sat beside him, finding his fingers with hers.

"Seth?"

"Yeah."

"I love you."

He nodded, playing absently with her fingers and staring at the ripples he made. Summer didn't even care that he didn't say anything back. She just rested her head on his shoulder, and watched the water with him. And once he was sure that her eyes were on the pool, Seth mouthed the words himself. "I love you." "I love you." "I love you."


	20. Doubt

She was ready.

She could understand if he wasn't, because it had been so long, but she really was ready. And it didn't scare her anymore to know that she was this ready. Maybe Chris changed her. Whatever it was, she had never really _been_ this sure of anything in her life. And she wanted him to understand that she was ready to give him everything she had. The only thing holding her back was the chance that he didn't feel the same way. It had been a long time.

"Summer? Sweetie, could you help me with this table?"

Kirsten was at one side of the kitchen table, her hands on either side of its width, her hair twisted up into a pony tail and her "work" clothes on. Summer shook her head, but walked to the other side of the table.

"Kirsten, why are you doing this?"

"Summer, I told you. This house needs a face lift. Just something...new."

Summer turned her head sideways, and tried to get Kirsten to look at her, but gave up and shrugged, slipping her fingers underneath the edge of the table.

"Okay, on three, we're going to bring it over there and turn it. That corner. You ready?"

"Yeah. But you do realize that this house is crawling with big, strong men."

"I do. But I think we're more capable than any big, strong man."

Summer looked up and saw the determination in Kirsten's eyes. She wanted to know she could do this by herself. It was already a big deal that she was letting Summer help her. Calling Ryan would just make things so much worse. So Summer nodded and gripped the edge.

"All right. One, two, three." On three, Kirsten gave a great heave, and she and Summer got the table off the floor.

"Okay, so we're going to move back, back, back, back..." Kirsten was staring at her destination, Summer swinging slightly underneath the weight of the table. "And right here." Summer dropped the table and dropped her hands on her hips. She looked up at Kirsten and back at the place the table used to be. She doubted anyone would be able to tell the difference. Kirsten nodded sharply.

"Yes. Okay, so, I think this is much better." Kirsten nodded again. Summer sighed.

"Okay. Anything else?"

"Well, I just get these ideas, and I thought that it looks very cluttered to see the table from the door, so...if I think of anything else, I'll let you know."

"Okay. Um, Kirsten?"

"Yes, Summer?"

"No one thinks you play second here."

"What?"

"You know, um, we don't think you're...pathetic, or anything."

"Oh. Okay. Why, honey?"

"No reason. I'm going to go find Seth."

"Okay, honey." Kirsten's hands were on her hips, her eyes scanning the kitchen and wandering into the living room.

Summer nodded and walked over to Kirsten, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. Kirsten held Summer's arms and nodded.

"Okay."

Summer smiled and patted down Kirsten's shoulder before walking out of the kitchen to the pool.

Seth had gotten accustomed to sitting by the pool. It looked a bit like a Yellowcard album cover, the boy, almost man, sitting by the edge of the sparkling water, the sun turning his forehead pink. Summer sat with him, waiting for him to say something. When he didn't, she did.

"So, this weather is just...out of this world."

Summer looked from the blinding sun to Seth's face that had finally broken a smile.

"What do you really want to talk about, despite your lovely attempts at small talk?"

"I don't know...why you had to move out in the first place?"

"Summer, you know I can't stay here forever. And it's not like I can't afford it."

"You know how material that makes you sound?"

Seth shrugged. "It's the truth. Money's important. And thanks to being gawked at for years as being the grandson of The Caleb Nichol, I've got it."

"But your mother is just about ready to kill herself, and you move out? That's a little insensitive, don't you think?"

"Mom needs me out. I'm helping her."

"Just like breaking up with me was helping me."

Seth looked away from Summer's eyes, and instead looked at his hands in his lap.

"Sorry." Summer nudged his arm. "That wasn't..."

"I...was trying to...I thought I really was helping."

"I know. It's okay. But, I mean, you could _ask_ me next time you want to help."

He wanted to say something; Summer saw it in the tilt of his head to the side. But he didn't. Instead, he just took her hand and ran his fingers along the back of it.

Chris walked from the pool house to the main house, but paused when he saw Seth and Summer. He walked over to them, and lay across both of them, his head on Seth's lap, his legs on Summer's. Summer shook his foot and smiled over at his face.

"What's up, Chris?"

Chris shrugged, something he was doing more and more often, and grinned up at her and Seth's eyes.

"I didn't _interrupt_ anything, did I?"

Summer laughed at his expression and leaned her elbows down on his knees.

"How's life, dude?" Seth flipped the bangs out of Chris's eyes. Chris just shrugged.

"I don't want to go to school anymore."

"Why, honey, is something wrong?" Summer's forehead started to crease.

"No. I just miss you guys. And it's totally boring."

"But you get to see your friends. That's something, huh, Chris?" Seth tapped his forehead. Chris just shrugged again.

"I guess. I mean, they're kind of immature sometimes, though, you know?" Chris turned onto his side, laying his face against Seth's shirt, nestling his nose between the fabric. Seth's fingers on Chris's face danced onto his back, tracing the stripes of his shirt.

Summer looked up at Seth's face, expecting to see the dark hazel eyes staring back at her, but he was focusing on Chris's hair, a light smile framing his lips. His fingers were still running up and down his back, Chris shivering every now and then, but the same content smile on his face too. Summer's smile became wider and more apparent, as she leaned her cheek against Seth's shoulder. His other hand curled around her back, tapping an unknown rhythm on her flushed shoulder. Her shoulder collapsed down under his warm palm, comfortable with his gentle weight against her side. Seth's face turned and rested on the top of her head, Summer's eyes finding Chris's. Chris nodded and Summer's smile turned softer. His eyes silently thanked her for Seth; hers agreed. Chris's teeth grazed his thumb, his eyes on his mother the whole time. She looked away. The thumb stayed out.

Ryan jogged up behind the three of them, suddenly closing his mouth when he saw the picturesque scene play out in front of him. Seth's head was still on Summer's and so he caught Ryan's silhouette in his peripheral vision.

"Hey, man, what's up?"

"I, uh, need Chris for the...thing." Ryan nodded his chin and Seth nodded back.

"Hey, little man, you ready to make your grandmother cry?"

Chris laughed and nodded, using Seth's hands to pull himself up. He walked next to Ryan back to the house, grinning at his mom one more time.

Summer pulled her legs out of the water and spun around so her head lay on Seth's lap.

"So."

"So."

"I think it's safe to say he likes you now."

Seth laughed and nodded. "Supposedly."

Summer laughed, her face looking up at his. His eyes melted with that content smile back on his lips. He leaned down, supporting himself with his palms, and brushed her lips with his, pulsating against her, moving in closer. Her hand came to the back of his neck, stroking the warm skin she found ?"

"Yeah?"

Her hand went further up his head into his hair and her eyes opened.

"Did you ever think about me? When you were...out there?"

His eyes opened too and shook his head.

"That is officially the easiest question I have ever heard in my entire life. Every day. Well, I mean, most of them."

She smiled faintly and nodded. "I thought about you every second. Well, most of them."

He nodded. "I'd have dreams of you getting married. Sometimes to Ryan. Sometimes to some heir to, like, Wal-Mart or something. Sometimes to some trust fund, half Jewish, _extremely_ handsome kid."

She let her smile spread and pulled his neck back down again.

"Baby, we gotta run." Summer flipped up, grabbed Seth's hand, and pulled him away into the pool house.

Sandy tossed his keys onto the kitchen table and took off his jacket. He picked up another newspaper on the table and thrust it open to the business section as he walked outside to the deck.

"_Someday, when I'm oftly low, when the world is cold, I will feel a glow just thinking of you. And the way you look tonight._"

"Sandy?"

Sandy's eyes peeled away from the candles surrounding the pool and table, framing the sun that was just starting to go down. Kirsten was standing next to him, with basically the same look on her face. Her face was turned to look at his and he just shrugged.

"Do you know who it's for?" Kirsten asked, her eyes flicking back to the stereo beside the door to the house, still playing Frank Sinatra.

Sandy shrugged again and pulled a lawn chair out from the table, gesturing towards it. Kirsten laughed.

"It's not for us. Summer? Maybe." Kirsten looked up at Sandy. He handed her a card.

"_Mom and Dad— To getting to know each other. Love, Ryan, Seth, and Summer._" Scrawled on the bottom, Chris's name was added in pencil.

Kirsten laughed and placed the card on the table. "They really think they know what's best for us."

Sandy smiled back at her and sat down. "Maybe they do."

Kirsten's laugh softened, and she accepted the wine glass Sandy handed her. He nodded to her across the table.

"To getting to know each other."

Kirsten's eyes sparkled and she nodded. "To getting to know each other."

They touched glasses and glanced over the rims at each other. Kirsten shook her head slowly, her smile still in place.

"Who would've thought we would be one of those couples? The ones their kids are worried about."

Sandy thought for a second, his hand reaching across the table.

"I don't know. I don't think they're really worried. The three of them just can't keep their noses out of everyone's business."

Kirsten nodded. "And we love them for it."

"Definitely."

They each sipped their wine, trying to remember how they were like before the summer that seemed to change everything.

"So, weren't you working on a big case?"

Sandy nodded. "Yacht owners' troubles with each other. But this time they're making it personal. Some divorcees and children, and it's just all so dirty."

Kirsten nodded, wrapping her light sweater closer around her. Just the sun reflecting off of the pool water made her shiver. Maybe it also had to do with the fact that she had to think of something to say to her own husband. Her mind flew back to the little fifteen year old girl who never knew what to say when the boy next door came around with a smile on his face. She felt awkward and unsure and even a little shy. Luckily, the feeling that came along with being fifteen was giddiness, and Kirsten realized that nothing was wrong with being unsure. Her husband, the man she loved, the man she would always love, was sitting across the table from her, stealing looks at her like he was a teenager too. It was fresh. New. She decided she liked it. A lot.

The door to the gate swung open, and Ryan walked in with a sleeping Chris in his arms. He started to walk across the pool, but spotted Kirsten and Sandy.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I don't want to interrupt."

"No, it's fine, honey. You guys are so sweet to do this." Kirsten nodded.

Ryan shrugged and blushed ever so slightly. He kept walking with the boy holding on to his neck and smiled back and Kirsten and Sandy before closing the door to the pool house, laying Chris down on his bed.

Seth and Summer were sitting on the floor, leaning against each other, Seth's chin moving when Summer laughed. Ryan nodded toward the door to their parents, and Summer grinned from ear to ear.

"Aren't they totally cute?"

Ryan laughed too. "Totally."

Seth smiled along with Ryan's mutter and tightened his arm around Summer's back. As if there could be any place in the world that she would rather be.

Ryan's laugh fell, laying his lips together in a closed smile. He was sitting on the floor in front of the two of them, suddenly a little uncomfortable, but still glancing up at them through the wisps of blonde with sparkling eyes.

"Yeah, um, I'd leave you guys to your own...amusement, but I don't want to interrupt the other lovers out there."

Summer shrugged and crossed her legs underneath her. "No, it's cool. We can hang out."

Ryan nodded. "Thanks, you guys. But uh...I'll sneak around the back. You two have...fun." He nodded again and started to push himself up.

Summer's head tilted, and Ryan knew the look well. A mix of wanting to help him and a need to be alone with Seth. He lifted his chin in a head bob, letting her know it was okay. She shrugged.

"You sure, honey?"

"Yeah. It's no problem. See you guys later."

Ryan opened the glass door and slid along the wall of the pool house, out of sight to his parents, laughing by the pool.

Summer watched the door bounce shut and turned to look up at Seth. "So."

"So."

"You know, it's really sweet what you did for your parents."

"They needed it. And Ryan did a lot too."

"I know."

She slid her fingers between his and swung her leg around to the other side of him.

"It was still sweet."

Summer ever so slowly licked her lips and pushed down to him as simultaneously, Seth's free hand came to the back of her head. She dropped her knees from the floor, stretching out along his outstretched legs, his mouth hot against her teeth. She slipped her tongue in his mouth between his pulsating kisses, his chest falling as he exhaled into her mouth. His hand was still weaving between her hairs, the other hand wrapped with hers. She brought their hands closer to his cheek, dipping her head to sip at his Adam's apple. His lips came down to breathe hotly on her ear, her entire body shivering as his breath entered her ear.

His hand finally found itself out of her hair and skimmed down to the small of her back, applying light pressure. His back was starting to slump from tiring of sitting up so straight. Seth dug his heels into the carpet and pulled down, reclining his back against the pillow that had fallen off her bed earlier. Summer followed his decrease and trailed her kisses down his neck, halted by the collar covering the rest of his chest. Her sandals had fallen off, her bare feet rubbing against his ankles. He unwound his fingers from where she had dragged them by his left shoulder and had it reunite with its partner to massage the thin fabric on Summer's back, his thumb running to the top of her shirt, tugging it down an inch. Her arms stretched down to wrap around the back of his head, her head stretched up at the slight incline he still was lying at.

Unable to feel her skin, he needed some way to keep his hands warm, sliding them even farther down to her thigh, not missing any stretch of her along the way. One hand came out of its position behind his head to slip between them and under his shirt. Seth was suddenly jealous that she got the heat resonating off his chest and he didn't, so he mimicked her hand with his own, her back as hot as he had predicted. Her tongue was still prodding his, a slight noise coming out of the back of her throat. He gave in to the feeling in his stomach and pulled her shirt over her head, both hands getting to feel the soft skin leading up to the hard clasp in the center of her back.

His foot was tapping against the other bed, releasing the energy he was storing up. She could feel the tension coming off of him and tugged at his shirt, getting it to come off and fall silently beside them. Whenever they had gotten as far as this before he had seemed nervous, now he just seemed bored. It wasn't like Summer didn't think he got into it, she _knew_ he got into it. It was just that it seemed like she wasn't what he was exactly looking for. Like he needed her to do something different instead of just letting him do whatever he wanted to her.

His mouth pulsated against her tongue, pulling away sharply and pushing back smoothly. As he gave up the game and kissed her harder, Summer felt tears springing to the corners of her closed eyes. Originally, she had just passed off the feeling she got from him as her own paranoia, but he seemed to kiss her and touch her as part of the path he had to take to get her underwear off. She had known he had changed from the summer of 16, but she had never doubted that he didn't love her. But here, lying on the floor next to her bed, she did. Doubt it. What if he was just being with her because he thought it was what people expected? It was what people were expecting. And she had just thought it was what he had wanted.

He was so much more closed off, considering how he used to be, babbling his feelings out and hopping onto coffee carts. She always thought he was hiding something from her. But when their shirts were on, and his arm was around her, and they were watching Chris show his accomplishments, she would snuggle into his chest and everything seemed fine. She thought he cared. But whenever she felt a lust for him, and he was all to fill it for her, he seemed to just be doing that. Taking care of a problem she had. It wasn't like he didn't ever come; it was just that he never seemed to care. Like he didn't really want to be rolling with her on the floor, on the bed, in the backseat. Like he was picturing her as someone else.

"Seth. Seth, stop." She rolled her lips away from his, resting her cheek against his neck.

His eyes scanned the room, resting on the back of her head turned to his face.

"What's wrong?" He asked, swallowing to get his throat wet again.

Summer rolled off of him, pulling her knees up against her bare stomach, wrapping her arms around them.

"Summer. What's wrong? Did I do something?"

She looked up, the tears from her eyes streaking her cheeks. His stomach flipped and his fingertips grazed the sticky surface.

"Summer, what did I do?"

"Do you love me?"

He rolled up himself, resting his weight back on his palms.

"I don't kn..."

She shook her head. "Do you love me?"

"Summer..."

"I need you to answer."

"I think..."

"Seth, I love you. Do you love me?"

"Don't do this. Have our relationship depend on one phrase."

"It's not a hard question. Either you love me or you don't."

"You know I do."

"Do what?"

"I...love you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I...thought you knew that."

"I don't believe it."

"What? Why?"

She shrugged. "I don't think you mean it."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me you love me."

"I did."

"I want you to mean it."

"I did."

She shook her head, pulled her thighs up higher against her, and buried her face into the tops of her knees. Seth noticed how much she looked like a child, rolled up on the floor. He unwrapped her arms and pushed down on her knees. He held her face in his hands and stared into her eyes.

"Summer. I love you. There is no other one. I love _you_."

She pulled her lips in and moistened them. "How do you know?"

"You said the same thing. How do _you_ know?"

"I asked you first."

"I...look at you and wonder how it can get any better."

"Because you want it to be better."

"No. Because I think it's impossible that someone like me could get this lucky. I see you cry and my heart breaks with each tear. I see you smile and I melt."

"But you don't want to sleep with me."

"What? What do you mean? Of course I..."

"No, you don't. You don't want me. You want to be with me, but you don't want me."

"Summer, you have no idea how gorgeous you are. You don't know how much I _feel_ for you. How much my world revolves around you. How much I _love_ you."

"Do you really? Love me?"

He nodded and laughed. "More than you can believe."

She looked like she was going to cry for another second, but she laughed instead and brushed away the tears on her cheeks. "Thank god, Cohen. I was starting to think you were gay or something."

Seth laughed again and crawled over to sit next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Are we good?"

She nodded. "Yeah. We're good."

"So, then, you would have no problem with me needing to, for lack of a better phrase, sex you up?"

Summer laughed with her whole mouth and nodded, holding his face in her hands again. He slipped a hand beneath her back and swooped her off of the floor and lay her on her bed, slowly letting his legs relax against hers, his sneakers kicked off. She kissed him and for the first time in nine years, noticed how nervous he seemed, how anxious, doubtful he was that he could please her.

Seth Cohen could be 67, have twenty kids, and still have traces of a sixteen year old boy when he was fooling around with the girl of his dreams.

_Okay, so I threw a lot at you in this chapter. I think I'll explain a lot of it soon, and I hope it'll be quicker than this chapter was. Peace out, chicks and dudes..._


	21. Forget

_Josh Schwartz is the man! But I'm almost the woman! Look how quick! Score! I know y'all love me! Enough with the exclamation points. This story was totally inspired by a Jimmy Eat World that was so awesome that I put it in here, and a song by Damian Rice called "The Blower's Daughter." Download, download, download._

Lying in bed, before everyone else had woken up, was Seth's favorite time. Those nights when people didn't notice that he hadn't actually gone to his apartment were what he lived for. Chris was already asleep, so as long as he and Summer were quiet, they could do whatever they wanted. And he fell asleep with her lying against his arm, her hair spilling over his shoulder and tickling his lips as he dreamt of her. And as long as he got up before everyone else did, he could slip out without any questions. And Summer would get up with him and watch him scramble around the room for his shoes, a smile tickling her face and her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. And she'd giggle when he fell down, trying to put his sock on while he was standing up. And that was when she had to be the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his entire life. Without brushing her hair, with mascara streaking her eyelids, leaning up on an elbow, watching him. It was how she was supposed to be.

And he was happy.

It hadn't taken a lot, and suddenly all that doubt he had had about coming back seemed so foolish. He had been afraid that everyone wouldn't be the same, and he would be an outsider who wasn't even allowed to look in. But he had his family back. And everything was the way it should be. And it made him smile. He was smiling most of the time now. Whenever he wasn't at his apartment, or at the docks, teaching someone to sail, or at the high school, he was at home. He didn't think of his apartment as his home; it was just where he slept. He didn't even sleep there so much. It was more of a technicality. It didn't have Summer, so he wasn't obviously all that attracted to it.

So, slumped on the couch, resting his chin on the top of Summer's head, watching some pathetic excuse for a teenybopper movie (and that's saying something) was perfectly fine with him. The fact that Summer, Kirsten, Jenn, Chris, and Ryan were basically bawling made the experience a lot more entertaining.

"Ryan, dude, are you crying?"

"No, man, what's wrong with you?" Seth felt a blow to his knee and laughed.

"You're crying, because Britney Spears and..." Seth squinted. "James Lafferty can't work it out. Dude, that's a little sad."

"Shut up, Seth. I'm not even crying." Ryan sniffed and wiped the back of his hand across his face.

"Yeah, Seth. And it wouldn't be his fault if he was. Because it's sad!" Kirsten whimpered from the side of the room as Britney grabbed James's face and he pushed her away. Seth rolled his eyes and slipped into a position so he could stare at the ceiling.

He whispered, "You want to leave?"

Summer shook her head. "It's getting good."

Seth rolled his eyes again, but stayed where he was. The doorbell rang. He looked around the room and noticed the lack of any movement whatsoever.

"I guess I'll get it." He pulled his arm out from underneath Summer and jumped over the back of the couch so he wouldn't step on any of the people on the floor in front of them.

He jogged to the door and opened it, his breath falling out of his chest.

"Hey, Seth."

"Seth, sweetie, who is it?" Kirsten's voice came from the living room. Seth blinked.

"What are you-what are you doing here?"

"I told you I was..."

"But you're actually here. How'd you get my...address?"

"I asked around." She flipped a curtain of too blonde hair over her right shoulder and shrugged. "It wasn't that hard. People know you here."

"But wh...how...why? ...are you here?"

"I wanted to see you."

Seth blinked, the tears he had been lacking before starting to collect along his bottom eyelashes. "Well, here I am. You found me. Good...good job. Now what..."

"Seth?" Kirsten wiped her eyelid and strolled into the front hall behind him. Seth turned around and looked at his mother over his shoulder. "Who's your friend?"

Her green eyes seemed to sparkle, glancing at Seth for a second, and inviting herself in. "You must be Mrs. Cohen. I'm Brittany, Seth's...friend."

Brittany shook his mother's hand, and Seth flinched ever so slightly. Kirsten was smiling.

"Well, it's nice to meet you. How do you know my son?"

"Oh. Well, I don't know if Seth's mentioned, but we kind of..."

"Mom, could you please excuse us for a second? This is sort of important."

"Oh." Kirsten was smiling her realtor smile. "Well, of course. I'll be in the living room. You seem to have this covered."

If Kirsten went into the living room, she would tell Summer that there was a blonde at the door. If Summer heard there was a blonde at the door, she could probably guess who it was. But there wasn't really anything Seth could do about it. So he just nodded.

"Yes, thank you, Mom." He tried to tell her to keep her mouth shut, but he was almost positive she didn't get it, or she didn't care.

Kirsten left, to tell Summer or to not, and Seth turned back to Brittany.

"Why?"

She snapped her head up and tilted it to the side. "Why what?"

"Why do this? I don't want to talk to you; I don't want to talk about you. Why-why?"

"We had something. We obviously had something. You _know_ there was something. You can't just expect that I wouldn't want to know how your life is."

"You called me. You could've asked me how my life was then. You didn't. You said you wanted me to..."

"Well, yes, that would be nice. But I want to catch up, Seth. I think I have the right to know your family. Your family that almost became _my_ family."

"But they didn't. B, this is..."

"And you still call me B. Because you still think about me. And you still..."

"My girlfriend's in that room." Seth pointed behind him. "She's in that room. And I love her."

"You loved me."

"That's what you want to tell yourself, fine. I love her. That's what I'm telling you."

"Well, she's your high school sweetheart, right? A little more than five foot, brown hair, brown eyes, tendency to dress in Wonder Woman costumes?"

"What?"

"I found that thing you used to carry around all the time. The sketchpad you would never let me see. I found it. She seems very pretty; I'd love to see her in person."

"She wouldn't want to see you."

"Well, that would be rude, wouldn't it? I just want to meet this girl that's better than me. This girl that could make you walk out on your fiancée in front of everyone who means anything to her. I have that right, don't I?"

"Britt..."

But she was walking past him into the living room. Seth couldn't breathe, but he tried his best to run after her.

Everyone looked up when Brittany stepped into the room. They all had furrowed eyebrows, but Brittany was staring straight at the girl lying on the couch with her feet on the boy with blonde hair. She was nodding.

Seth bit his tongue. Brittany spun around and shrugged. "She's cute."

Seth stared at the ground, unwilling to believe this was actually happening. Brittany flounced over to Summer, offering her hand.

"Brittany. The _old_ girlfriend."

Seth shook his head; almost sure he should be saying something. Summer looked at him, and he wanted to look back at her, but he couldn't. Summer's jaw dropped, but she pulled it back up and even found a smile.

"Summer. It's...nice to meet you."

"Wish I could say the same, honey. Because I'm sure if I met you on different circumstances, we could be best friends. But as it is, kind of hard. You see, Seth and I were really serious. Like as serious as you can imagine. Then, well, to make a long, detailed, _passionate_ story short, he left me at the altar. I just thought that, being him, he probably never told you that he was engaged for a few months. And I didn't think that was fair. So, now that we're on the same page, you know what I meant when I said there was no chance for us being best friends, but it was really...informative meeting you. I do have to be going." Brittany winked. "Ciao, bella."

She spun on her heel from Sears and winked at Seth too. She started to make her way back out of the house, stopping briefly to kiss Seth on the lips. It wasn't anything, so he didn't have the chance to stop her, just a touch from her lips to his.

"Call me. I'll be around."

She touched his lips with her finger and walked past him to the door.

Seth stared at the same spot he had been since Brittany had entered the room. His hand came up to his face, running through his hair, and settling in front of his mouth, when he finally looked up. Summer was staring back at him, Britney and James suddenly forgotten.

"You were engaged? Were you...ever going to tell me?"

"Summer..."

"_Engaged_? I mean, isn't that a little...much? I assumed you'd had girlfriends, but you got _engaged_?"

"I didn't want to. It just seemed like she was expecting it, and..."

"You were _engaged_? Seth, that's something you'd tell the person you were dating, don't you think? That you almost got _married_ to someone else?"

"Summer, I don't..."

"But you did. You loved her, and you slept with her, and you gave her a _ring_, and you saw her in a white dress, and you said you loved me. And you didn't even think I deserved to know."

"I tried to tell you. I..."

"You said there was a girl. You didn't say she was your fiancée."

"She isn't. I mean, I broke it off. She doesn't _mean_ anything to me."

"But you still took her to the altar. She's pretty. I bet she was a beautiful bride. And you guys must've looked really good together. Wonder why I didn't get an invitation. I mean, I'd like to see you get married someday. Please, Cohen, next blonde that comes around with fake boobs? Let me know. I'd love to see you two kids get together."

Summer jumped off the couch and ran out of the room. Seth yelled her name and ran after her. The living room went silent except for the love ballad Britney sang with Justin Timberlake during the credits.

"Summer."

She turned around as she got to the edge of the pool. "What do you want me to _say_, Cohen?"

"I want you to listen to me."

"I'm listening."

He was breathing deeply, nearly as deeply as she was as she brushed the tears that were smearing her make up off of her face. He looked at the pool, to the main house, and back at her. And he kissed her. He ran to her, put his hand on the bottom of her cheek and the beginning of her neck, and kissed her. And she didn't push him away like she was telling herself to. Begging herself to.

He tugged on her lips as he gently pulled away.

"What do you want, Cohen?"

"I want you."

"Did you use the same line on 'Brittany?' And, I don't know, I never thought you were into that kind of...girl. Blonde, fake bitch."

"She's not a bitch."

"Oh, I'm so, so sorry." Summer crossed her arms and her eyes grew.

"Summer, stop. And I'm sorry I made a mistake. I didn't know if I was ever coming back, and she was...there. And I'm sorry you had to...go through that. And I'm sorry that she was like that. She was angry, and I didn't want to talk to her, so she just...blew. I'm sorry."

Summer's eyes had graduated to the lawn chair behind Seth. She let out a sigh and looked at him.

"You know what's funny, Cohen? When I yelled at you, I was yelling at you for not telling me. And that's the one thing you didn't apologize for. Maybe you should go home."

She walked away. She walked away from him, when ten minutes ago, she was crying into his shirt because of some movie. Seth didn't really want to go back to a room of people who were probably just as angry at him as Summer was, so he just left too. As Seth got into his car, his dad pulled up, a grin on his face, dark red roses in his hand.

"Hey, Seth, I...leaving so early? What's wrong?"

"Ask Mom. Or Ryan. Or Jenn. Or Chris. Don't ask Summer. I gotta go."

Seth backed out of the driveway, stealing a lingering glance at the pool house. Sandy glanced around too, deciding to go into the living room.

Everyone was still in the same spots they had been before. Sandy furrowed his eyebrows.

"Kirsten? Ryan? Is something wrong?"

Ryan shook his head. "She came."

"Who?"

"Brittany."

"Who's Brittany?"

"She's this girl Seth met in Samoa."

"And she came here?"

"Yeah."

"This wasn't a good thing?"

"No. Brittany's...a blunt girl."

"What'd she say?"

"Enough to make Summer cry, and Seth want to."

"Uh-oh."

Ryan nodded. Kirsten turned around to look at him.

"Did you know about a Brittany?" She asked.

Ryan let his mouth fall open a little bit. "I might've had an idea."

"In other words, yes."

"Maybe."

Kirsten nodded and looked to Sandy. "Did you know that your first born son was almost married without even a phone call?"

Ryan muttered, "He didn't call me either."

"I'm his _mother_."

"Seth was going to get married?" Sandy looked from Ryan to Kirsten.

Kirsten and Ryan nodded together. Sandy looked down to the ground.

"And he couldn't have told me. I didn't think it was anything like this. I thought he was just fighting with Summer again."

Ryan shrugged. "He's doing that too. She didn't take well to not being told."

"I'm not taking well to it, either." Kirsten crossed her arms and leaned back. She turned to Sandy. "When would he have told you?"

"He was leaving when I pulled in. He said I should ask you guys."

"He left?" Kirsten started to get up.

"He's gone."

"I should talk to Summer." Kirsten stood up.

"No, I will." Ryan stood up.

"Neither of you will. I'll do it." Sandy walked out without a chance for protest and knocked on the door to the pool house.

"Get the fuck away. I do not want to talk to you." Summer's voice broke.

"Summer?" Sandy opened the door a crack, and looked in to the girl sitting by the bathroom door. She looked up and wiped her cheeks.

"Sandy. I'm-I'm sorry. I thought you were..."

"Seth? What's wrong, honey?" Sandy walked over and sat down on the floor next to her.

"He's...stupid. I don't know who he is anymore. And it's just...too bad."

"What did you say to him?"

Summer just shrugged, running a finger up her cheek.

"Did you break up with him?"

She shrugged again. "I don't know."

"Do you want to?"

"I don't know. I could."

"Do you?"

"It would make sense."

Sandy nodded. "It would."

"But I don't know. Maybe I'll get Chris to do it for me."

Sandy smiled and stretched an arm around her shaking shoulders. "He does have a way with words."

"Words, screaming his head off."

"Do you really want to, though?"

"I don't know. I can't just forgive him again. You know we never _actually_ broke up that summer? I didn't say _anything_ on Valentine's Day, and then he decided he wasn't good enough. I ran away from him, and then he kissed some girl in Vegas. I sat beside him until he told me to leave, and then he left the continent. And then he gets back and breaks up with me as easily as he wants. It's like he's always running off and making his own decisions."

"Well, you can't make them for him."

"I don't want to! I just...want him to...talk to me about it first."

"Seth hasn't known what he's doing most of his life. You can't really blame him for it."

"Yes, I can. Because it always ends up hurting me."

"Not always."

"You know, when he left, I promised myself I wouldn't wait for him forever? I said no matter what I wouldn't let myself get that attached to anyone. And then he comes back and I break all my promises to myself and I don't even know if he deserves any of that."

"You changed."

"What?"

"Since he left, you've changed. There was Luke...and then there was Chris. And both of them changed you. It wasn't your fault."

"Well, I don't know if Luke and Chris exactly made me take Seth back."

"Luke and Chris made you change your outlook on things. Luke made you believe there was some good in everyone, and Chris made you realize you always have to find that good."

"And that's why I let Seth do whatever he wanted to me?"

"It changed who you are. And I think you still know what you're doing most of the time."

"Most of the time. Maybe I just like to get hurt."

"Oh, probably."

"I was being sarcastic."

"Me too."

Summer nodded, leaning her head gently over onto Sandy's shoulder.

"Do you think I should forgive him?"

"You know I can't answer that."

"But I'm asking you to. Do you think I should?"

"It's not something I can answer."

"I just want your opinion. If you were in my position and all that crap."

"I don't think like you."

"Think like you. Thinking like me doesn't seem to be working."

Sandy moved his head so his chin rested on Summer's head. "I wouldn't. But I think I'd like you to."

"Why?"

"Why wouldn't I forgive him? That's me. I'm bitter. Why do I want you to? Because I think you really love him."

"Yeah?"

Sandy looked back over to the door and nodded. "Yeah."

Seth lay back on the bed in the corner of his room. He hadn't been in the mood to move it into the designated bedroom, so it was in his "living room." He looked up at the ceiling as Jimmy Eat World flicked onto the computer in the other corner of the room.

"_The time I would spend with pictures I would not send. _

_I watched you go from left to right. _

_I follow you all night, across my blinds. _

_You'll change your mind come Monday and turn your back on me._

_You took your steps away with hesitance._

_Take your steps away from me._

_I'm making my peace; making it with distance._

_Maybe that's a big mistake; you know I'm thinking of you._

_I miss you._"

He rolled onto his side as the phone on his floor rang. He rolled further and picked it up, not bothering to check the number.

"Hello?"

"Where are you right now?"

"Brittany?"

"That's me."

"Don't call me."

"Okay, you can say that. I was a bitch. I can't apologize?"

"No."

"That's understandable. Can I talk now? I won't invade your personal space. I'll stay here, and you'll stay there. But I'll apologize."

"Whatever."

"Okay. I'm sorry. I was pissed off, and I had your address in front of me. I didn't mean to actually come, but I kind of dared myself. I'm sorry; it was stupid. I'm sorry I talked to your girlfriend. She seemed nice. She kept her cool. I can respect that. She was very pretty. Prettier than me, so I guess I can understand why you couldn't go through with marrying me. Knowing there are girls like that out there that would look at you is a pretty good reason. I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Less than good."

"Why?"

"I think...she broke up with me."

"Summer?"

"Yeah."

"What'd she say?"

"She basically told me to go to hell. I knew I should've told her. I was going to tell her. But it was just...hard."

"I know. I know why you didn't."

"Then, could you please enlighten me?"

"You were scared that you'd lose the best thing in your life. I know the feeling."

"So I did something else that ended up hurting her more, giving her way more reason to leave me. That's...smart."

"No one said you were."

"Thanks. I forgot how sweet you were."

"It's not your fault. People tend to do stupid things, when they're in love."

"That's deep."

"That's Disney."

"Same thing."

"Right." She giggled ever so quietly. "So, are you going to talk to her?"

"Not now. I'm not going to do it over the phone."

"You left?"

"I wasn't going to stay and give her the opportunity to _actually_ break up with me."

"So you walked out on her."

"Well it sounds worse if you say it like that."

"How would you say it?"

"I left before things got worse."

"How much worse could things get?"

"She could _break up_ with me."

"And do you plan on ever seeing her again?"

"That's the plan."

"And you think that since you left now, she won't break up with you then."

"I won't let her."

"Women are stubborn. And if you were smart at all, you wouldn't be talking to me right now."

"But you wanted to apologize."

"You could've hung up after I did."

"What are you trying to prove, Brittany? Because I'm really not in the mood right now."

"I'm trying to help you."

"Why? You were the one that hurt."

"No, thinking like that is. You were the problem. If you had explained everything to your girlfriend, then she could have just flipped me off and I would've left."

"Okay. It's my fault. Everything's my fault."

"I didn't say that. I told you I was a bitch."

"Most of it's my fault."

"Yeah."

"So...bye."

"You don't want my advice?"

"Not really."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to talk to you anymore. And if I know what's good for me, I'll never talk to you again."

"That's a little severe."

"You were a bitch."

"Okay, so I walked into that. But if you wanted some help with women, I _am_ actually one."

"Oh."

"Don't sound so surprised."

"Bye, Brittany."

"Bye. And...Seth?"

"What?"

"It's okay if you miss me sometimes."

He hung up the phone and stared at it before tossing it, sliding across the floor. How could he do things like this? How could he fuck up everyone's emotions so bad?

But really, he knew the answer.

Seth Cohen hadn't really changed that much.

Fucking things up was what he did.

_Hmm...still love me?_

"_Cautioners" written by Jim Adkins, Zach Lind, Rom Linton, and Mitch Porter_


	22. Attention

_Okay, I know. It's really short. But I think the next chapter's going to be quick, so never fear._

"Why don't we just..."

Ryan pulled a little harder on Summer's hand, her feet suddenly planted in place. She pulled her hand out of his grasp and folded it around her side.

"Why do you keep doing shit like this?"

Ryan sighed and gave in, crossing his arms too. "Doing what?"

"Lying to me."

"I didn't lie to you."

"I don't want to be here."

"You have to."

"I really don't."

"Just talk to him."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Why should I?"

"Because you loved him."

"You can't always believe what you hear. You don't know what's being left out."

"Summer, just..."

"No. You can't just expect me to do something I don't want to do, because you think it's best for me. I'm leaving."

"Summer."

Ryan turned around to see Seth carrying a thirteen year old boy over his shoulder. The boy was trying not to laugh, but Seth dropped him to his feet when he saw her. Summer thumped Ryan in the stomach and turned around, starting to walk away.

"Summer!"

Seth ran to Ryan's car, and leaned against the car door as Summer came closer.

"Cohen, let's not..."

"Can't you just talk to me?"

"What do you want to say?"

"I want you to listen."

"Love your opening statement."

"Can't you just stop thinking with your head for one second?"

"Well, Cohen, what do you want me to think with? My ass?"

"I just want you to listen."

Summer crossed her arms and pivoted onto one foot. She looked away from Seth's face, but didn't move. Ryan walked behind Summer and drove away. She just crossed her arms beneath her chest, refusing to look at Seth. After a few seconds of silence, she stomped off, thrusting out her thumb and letting her weight rest to one side.

"Summer..."

"What the hell were you thinking? You thought you'd strand me in the middle of nowhere, and I'd just fall in love with you all over again?"

"I didn't know what was going to happen. I was teaching John to stride. Ryan called me a few seconds ago, saying he was coming."

"So glad you have people like Ryan. You really need more people on your side, Seth. Everyone doesn't listen to you, and everyone feels so damn bad for you, because you're such a great person."

"I never said that."

"But you make Ryan do your bitch work. If you cared so fucking much, why didn't you pick up a phone? It's been three _days_, Seth."

"I know. And I really just wanted to talk to you."

"I've been here for over ten minutes, Seth, and you've said nothing."

"But I..."

Summer pulled her thumb down and pushed her hair back. She tightened her arms around her chest, looking up at him. Seth stuttered for a second, and she started to walk away.

"I knew her for three months. I met her at a beach, and she was asking about my boat. I told her I had wanted to get away. She was always nodding. Then, I blinked and I was asking her to marry me. She planned a wedding for four months...longer than I knew her. We got to the altar and I couldn't do it. I looked at her and I knew that I was just doing it, because I thought it would help me get over you. She was sweet, and nice, and pretty, and I couldn't feel anything, because all I thought about was how far you'd moved on. I told myself, and her, that I loved her, and she'd kiss the side of my face and say she loved me too. We would have...sex and woke up next to each other while the sun was coming up, and I couldn't _feel_ anything. I didn't know where I was going next, and I didn't know who I was going to be doing it with. She was just there. And after I walked away from her, I spent another month sitting in the middle of nowhere, staring at the one picture I had that gave me the only comfort I ever got. And when I-I came back, and you looked like you did, and you looked at me like you did, I couldn't tell you what I came back to tell you. You asked why then a long time ago. It was because I wanted to tell you how miserable everyone was making me just because they weren't you. Brittany was everything that made me miss you, and being so serious with her made me think of all the people I wanted to see me get married. And that made me think of who I wanted them to see me be getting married to. And you were everything."

Summer was still standing in front of him with her back turned. Seth's arms had fallen to his sides, his chest barely moving.

"It's whom."

"What?"

"Whom. Think of whom you wanted them to see you getting married to. Not who."

"Why?"

"Because it follows a preposition." She turned around.

Seth nodded. "You're right."

Summer nodded too. She walked a few steps closer and stood in front of him. He couldn't feel his breath, but he could see hers filling her lungs, and leaving her.

She was looking at the ground, and slowly, she sat down on the pavement. She looked up at Seth, and he followed her down to the ground.

"I waited for you."

He nodded. "I know you did."

"I thought you were going to move on. I thought she was you moving on."

Seth stared at her for almost a minute, and decided to lean forward and cover her in his arms. She didn't move like he thought she was going to, but just let him hug her.

"I needed you. Every minute you weren't here, I needed you for so much."

He just nodded.

"I still need you."

He nodded again.

Summer's small hands found Seth's back, rubbing the seam of his shirt. He pulled her harder into him, her back finally collapsing.

"Seth?" She asked into his chest.

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Not letting me go."

He hugged her tighter for another second, but stood up the next, taking her hand and leading her away from the road. He held both of her hands, standing behind her and resting his chin in her neck as she looked at the scene in front of her.

A sailboat rocked in front of her. She turned her head to look at Seth's face staring at the boat that seemed to be illuminated by the sun slowly going down.

"What about it?"

"You want a ride?"

"Now?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because you never have."

Summer looked at him like there had to be some better reason, but he didn't show her any. She shrugged lightly and had him lead her into the boat.

She sat down and looked at the wide ocean in front of her. Seth was moving ropes behind her, and before she knew it, they were moving. They just went a few yards off shore, but it seemed like a world away.

Seth sat down in front of her, leaning back on his elbows.

"So? What do you think?"

"I have no idea how you could stand this thing for more than ten minutes, Cohen."

He laughed, but nodded. "Takes a lot of practice."

"What do you mean?"

"I used to come out on this thing forever. Whenever I was ignoring my dad. Whenever you smiled at me, or at least in my direction."

Summer laughed this time. "That's a little...pathetic."

Seth just shrugged. "I thought about you a lot."

"Okay, you're creeping me out, Cohen."

"Seriously?"

"No. I'm jealous though. I never had a boat."

"You're lucky. You never left everyone you loved."

She didn't say anything. Didn't want to. He looked farther out into the ocean, and for a second, she thought she saw a hunger. But it disappeared when he looked back at her.

"So, when you were on this boat, thinking about me, alone, what would you think about?"

Half his mouth curled into a grin. "I was fourteen. What do you think I was thinking about?"

She smiled with her whole mouth and slowly inched towards him, pushing down on his knees to let his legs lay flat. With a hand on each side of him, she touched her lips to his, causing his hands to immediately come up to her cheeks.

"Are we going to tip this thing?" She whispered into his mouth. Seth shook his head.

She thumbed the waistband of his jeans and felt him smile against her lips.

"What?"

"Nothing."

When she kissed him again, Seth was still smiling. She didn't understand how much he had really been out on this boat. All the times he'd had fantasies where she was lying on top of him, kissing him like she'd never want to stop, loving him right in front of his face. The fact that she had been crying and yelling at him a few minutes ago, made this feel like some ultimate fantasy.

Summer kissed his bottom lip, nibbling softly. He pulled down with his feet on the boat so that he was lying flat on the bottom. He was slightly worried about the weight, but Summer made it all worth it.

She stripped her shirt over her head and leaned down farther to kiss him. Suddenly, he didn't want to go slow; he didn't want to wait to have her in his arms. He kissed her deeper, pushing his fingers into the skin on her lower back. She felt the heat resonating off of him and fingered his jeans again. He kissed her harder, and she undid the belt lying at the top of his pants, sliding her hands up the back of his shirt, pushing down harder with her body.

He really wanted this. He'd never lose it again. No matter what it was he had to do. He never wanted anything to interrupt _this_ again.

Nothing could take him away from his princess.

...........................................................x

Chris sat at the end of the driveway. He watched each car go by. Uncle Ryan had said his mom was coming back soon, but so far nothing. Nothing. No one. He sighed under his breath; the cooler air coming in to brush his hair that Grandma said was getting too long against his forehead. He watched a car come his way, but turn before actually getting to him.

When the car passed, he saw two people walking up the side of the road. He stood up, squinting his eyes to see through the sun. They were laughing; one of them left the other, walking like she was drunk. Chris squinted harder to see the silhouettes, his eyes getting bright when he saw it was his mom. And Seth. And they were happy.

"Mo-om!" He ran down the empty street, catching the grins he got as he got closer to the two figures.

"Hey, babe. It's getting late; did you eat?"

He nodded. He grinned at Seth.

"What's happening, _dude_?"

Seth grinned back. "Chillin, little man."

Chris laughed and started to walk backwards as they got closer to the house.

Kirsten smiled when she saw the two of them; Sandy nodded slightly; Ryan just shrugged, and said, "Duh."


	23. Sore

_I'm sorry. It was supposed to be quick. This is sort of filler and repetitive, but it sets things up, and I swear, the next chapter will be up within...say two weeks. Swear. I have some of the best reviewers in the world, and so I want to thank you guys. I'm thinking another ten chapters, but nothing's certain. But I do know the end isn't very near. Nothing belongs to me, and Josh got my peeps back together, so I no longer have a beef with him._

If she could pick one thing to keep her sane until she died, it would be those long kisses he'd leave on her cheek before he headed off to high school. Summer didn't even know kisses on the cheek could leave her so...hot. He was like that, though. Seth would never let anything be simple. It was always...exciting.

Chris was staying with Luke as Luke presented a new model to Japan. He said it would be good for him. Summer didn't always know. But she didn't want Luke to get all...whatever again, so she'd have to deal with three weeks without her baby. Seth said it was good for her too. So did Ryan. She asked him if he wanted to let Jenn go with them, and he went silent.

The only perk to having the pool house empty was lying on the floor in Seth's arms. They'd watch the ceiling, and sometimes he'd tell her about sailing. She would listen as long as she could, and she couldn't count the number of times she'd fallen asleep listening to him describe the people he had met. Sometimes they'd talk on the driveway, and once she convinced him to lie down in the middle of the street with her. He was constantly sitting up though, positive he'd heard a car. She didn't know how to explain to him that it was romantic, so they stuck with the driveway.

They were always talking now. She liked it sometimes, less others. It always seemed like he was describing life without her, and when he laughed about it, it hurt her a little. But he wanted to talk about it, so she'd always listen. Even when it made her want to fall into the bathroom and cry and cry.

Summer sat in the pool house, leaning against the headboard, just watching the doors with a blank stare. She loved having Seth around. He made her laugh through the tight, bitter anger she was constantly feeling in the back of her throat. And somehow she was going to have to get air through the knot, and laughing seemed to be the only way to really do it.

But she wanted her Seth back. Not Brittany's Seth. And when he was opening up to her about everything he had been through, he was Brittany's Seth. Even worse: "B"s Seth.

Whenever he was hanging out with her, Seth was with Ryan. Sprawled out on Ryan's floor as Ryan sat with Jenn to get her to sleep was one of his new favorite places. He'd talk quietly, and Ryan would just listen. He'd save what he really wanted to say for after Jenn fell asleep, but he'd tell stories of men that didn't wash themselves except for in the ocean while she was awake, giggling as she closed her eyes.

"Is she done, man?" Seth whispered, raising his head off the floor.

Ryan moved his chest up, glancing down at the angel's chest rising and falling on top of his arm. He nodded and walked over to Seth, lying on the floor next to him.

"So, did you ever hear from Brittany again?"

Seth shrugged. "Sometimes. She stayed in California. Went up to Los Angeles, far enough to not show up too often, but close enough to remind me she still exists."

"What does she say?"

"Tries to be my friend. Asks me about shit that she doesn't care about."

"Like?"

"Summer."

"Yeah?"

Seth nodded. "She keeps trying to analyze our relationship, tell me what to do next."

"How often does she call?"

"Sometimes once a week, sometimes twice in one day."

"Do you want to keep talking to her?"

"Not always."

"You can tell her."

He shrugged again. "She talks. I go all brooding outsider, just without the sideways glances."

Ryan nodded. "Didn't know you had it in you, man. Not talk? For extended periods sometimes twice in one day? Impressive."

"Yeah, except not. I just wish you could've met her before the bitch came out. She's so...much. Very much. Hyper, bouncy, everywhere, can't sit still for one second even if you strap her down."

Ryan raised an eyebrow, but Seth just shook her head.

"Not with Brittany. She wouldn't be up for that. Except maybe she would, but I wasn't."

"Wow, Seth, she made you into a real man."

"Not really. She just made me...learn."

"Learn what?"

"How hard it must be for you guys to put up with me."

Ryan laughed. "Yeah, hyper, everywhere, much, that must've been very new for you."

"Ha-ha, man. Really funny."

"I thought it was."

"But she could become too much too. She never knew when to stop."

"And that made you stop more often."

"I guess. It's kind of weird; because I used to think about what it would be like if I met her here. Like if that thing with Summer and Anna had been a rhombus. Or a rectangular prism or something. I don't know who I would've chosen."

"But now?"

"Now it's Summer. It'll be Summer from now until eternity. I hope, anyways."

"I think you guys have a chance."

"Except not always. Because, I don't know, she changed too. Like from when I came back. Then she was all...passionate or whatever. Now she seems like I'm passing her time. Again. And that wasn't the good part of the super year."

"She loves you."

"So she says."

"Does she?"

"Sometimes. I don't know. We're different, and if it was up to me, we'd be getting married next week. But she keeps it back, so I don't know."

"But you guys have to work it out. If you can't...that doesn't give the rest of us a lot of..."

The phone rang, and Ryan sprang up to answer it before it woke up Jenn.

"Hello?" he whispered, threading a hand between his hair. "Oh. Hi. Yeah. No. Nine. Yes. Not a lot. Yeah. Her eyes. No. Oh. Okay. That's fine. Yeah, um, soon. When you want. Okay. Yeah. You can call me here. Okay. Bye."

He hung up the phone and went back to the floor, sitting down this time.

"Who was that?"

"Theresa's mom. She wants to see Jenn."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Is Theresa back?"

"Not unless she wants to surprise me with the scariest thing I can possibly think of."

"Why is that the scariest thing?"

"Because. She'd want Jenn. Who could not want Jenn? And I'd have to choose. Or maybe she wouldn't want me there and would make the decision for me. And I'd see the best thing ever only on holidays or on the phone."

"She would've told you if Theresa was back."

"I hope so. But, I mean, she is her daughter. She would want what was best for her daughter."

"But you're her family too, man. And you were the one who took the responsibility. Not Theresa."

"Yeah, well, Theresa can be pretty damn convincing."

Ryan sighed and fell backward, his head at Seth's feet now.

"Do you, uh, want me to..."

"No, ifs fine," Ryan answered Seth's unfinished question to give him space. So they just sat in silence until they both had fallen asleep.

Summer walked in at around 11:30, ready to say goodnight to Seth before he left for his apartment, but seeing them both on the floor nearly took her breath away. She leaned against the door frame, a small smile wrapped around her mouth. And it just took a few minutes for Kirsten, on her way up giggling with Sandy, to stand next to her and have the giggle escape her mouth. Sandy groaning when he heard the 'aw' come. If Kirsten was awing over "her boys" it was pretty certain that he was not getting any that night.

Ryan woke up before Seth did, realizing the last time he fell asleep on the floor, it had been on the soft, soft carpet in the living room with Summer curled under his arm. Accidentally, of course, but it was much more comfortable than lying straight out on the glossy wood of his bedroom with his only company curled up with his head and hands on Ryan's feet. He wouldn't be able to walk for days...at least.

He gently kicked his foot, Seth groaning, but rolling over. Seth slept on the floor all the time; he'd be used to it. He used to fall asleep in the pool house, talking about Summer. His back wouldn't be throbbing like Ryan's.

The phone rang again and this time Ryan had to protect two people's ears. He was ready to whisper as quietly as was humanly possible into the phone, but he heard two voices already talking. One of them was recognizably the voice that had called last night, but the other was higher, chirpier, but still snide. Summer.

"...I talked to Ryan last night, Miss."

"I don't doubt you did, _ma'am_, but can I just take a message? I think he's asleep."

"Summer, I'm awake." Ryan hadn't meant to talk, but it happened anyway.

"Oh. Okay, well, I'll just go then." She hung up without saying anything more.

"I'm sorry if she was rude to you, Ms. Cabala."

"She was just looking out for you. It's fine. I just wanted to ask if you could maybe come tomorrow. With Jennifer."

"Tomorrow? She has school, that lets out at three, so we could get there at around five."

"It doesn't take that long to get here."

"She'd have to do her homework, but we could stay a while since the next day's the weekend."

"Okay, Ryan, that's fine. You know the place."

"Yes. And, um, I know she's going to ask it, so I should probably know...what do you want her to call you?"

"Whatever she wants is fine."

"But she'll want to know what you want."

"I'm guessing Grandma's a little presumptuous, so maybe we can stick with Mrs. Cabala. Or anything she wants."

"Okay. We'll, uh, see you."

"Yes, Ryan. And Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for making an effort."

"Oh, yeah, it's no problem."

"Yes, it is. Thank you."

"Uh, yeah. Bye."

"Goodbye."

Ryan hung up the phone and shuffled quietly out of the room. He ran into Summer in the hall.

"What did she want?"

"None of your business, and you didn't have to be rude."

"I wasn't rude. I was cold."

"You didn't have to be that either. She isn't evil."

"Yeah, well, she did want something."

"She just wanted to see me. And Jenn."

"You're bringing Jenn to her? You really love your daughter?"

"Of course I do."

"Hmm." Summer ruffled her eyebrow and placed a hand on either side of the waistband of her sweatpants. His sweatpants actually.

"Since when have you had those?" He gestured toward the pants.

"I don't know. I was cold one day and they were there. You should clean up if you don't want you're stuff stolen."

"No, I don't care."

"Good. So how's your neck?"

"Fine. For now, anyway."

Summer rolled her eyes. "Cohen can take it, you can't. Come here."

She sat down abruptly against the bathroom door, pulling him down with her. She settled on her knees behind him and pinched his skin with her fingers. He sighed and let her do what she wanted, she would anyway, even if he resisted.

"You know, Ryan, Jenn will do anything for you. So if you ask her to go, she will."

"I know."

"Do you really want her to meet Chino?"

"She's been there before."

"Not in her memory that she'll have when she's our age."

"But it's good for her. She needs to know there's someone to be her mom."

"I can be her mom."

"But it's not the same. She needs to know that Theresa existed."

Summer groaned and slapped his neck. "Massage over if you're not going to listen to me."

"I'm listening to you."

"Are you sure though? You're not scared?" Ryan felt the soft touch return to his neck and he just shrugged.

"I don't have time to be scared. This is going to be good for Jenn."

"Okay."

"That's it? Okay?"

"For now."

"Okay." Ryan put his hand down on the floor and pushed himself up. "Thanks for that."

"No problem." She got up too and smiled lightly. "Good luck."

He nodded and went down the stairs. Summer sighed, her hands back on her hips, and she pushed open the bedroom door.

Seth was leaning against the footboard of the bed, reading an Animorphs book, obviously Jenn's, but also obviously irresistible to Seth.

"What's up, Cohen?" Summer whispered, slipping down next to him.

"Why did I never hear of these? The writing is horrible, but the bad guys are cool. And if I was ten, the writing would be really awesome."

"You'll still love them. And that one's a good one." She pointed to the book with the boy turning into a mosquito.

"Well, duh. It was between 'The Capture' or 'The Test.' Captures are thousand times cooler."

Summer nodded and leaned her head down into his shoulder, reading over his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head and leaned his cheek against it.

"You hear about Ryan?" she asked, barely whispering.

He nodded.

"You think he should do it."

"He wants to, so he will."

She nodded this time, wrapping her arms around his stomach, him lifting his arms for her, ending with them around her too.

"Are you okay?" he asked this time, talking into her cheek.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason. I'm just making sure."

"I'm fine. I'm good."

"Okay." He shrunk down against the bed, stopping when her head was stuck under his chin.

"I miss Chris."

"Me too."

"Luke better not be leaving him in a hotel room."

"He wouldn't."

"You know, if Ryan and Jenn leave, I'm going to be alone with the newlyweds."

"They are acting like it, aren't they? Like they're newlyweds?"

"Yeah. It's adorable."

"Yeah. I'll hang out though. I wouldn't leave you in your time of need."

"You know, you could stay. Like while Ryan's away. I'm sure your mom wouldn't mind."

"I don't know."

"Please?" She looked hopefully up at him, pursing her lips. He placed a kiss on them.

"Maybe."

"Please? Please, please, please, please, please, please, please?" She shifted so she was on her knees, pressing her hands together. He tried to pull her off of her knees, but she stood stiff.

He groaned, "Fine. Now, geez, woman, get off your knees unless you want it that way now." He raised his eyebrows and she swatted him.

"She's nine. She isn't ready for that." Summer tilted her head towards the bed.

"Ah, yes. That would be...interesting."

"Too interesting. Later, though, okay?"

"I have class at 10:30. Maybe when I get back...you could...help me with my homework?"

"Maybe." Summer winked and went back to the book. Seth shook his head with a smile on his face and joined her.

Ryan sat at the kitchen table, staring at the dinner rolls. He didn't hear Kirsten walk in, but he felt her kiss on the top of his head.

"Are you sore? You guys haven't slept on the floor in forever."

"No, I'm fine."

"Seth's up."

"Yeah, I heard him."

She nodded and sat in the chair next to him.

"Are you doing anything today?"

"Uh, well, yeah. Later, I thought I'd take Jenn to, um, Chino."

"That was the woman Summer was talking to."

"Yeah."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Everyone doesn't have to ask me that. I'll be fine. I'm just worried about Jenn."

"Jenn's strong. She'll be able to take it."

"Yeah. Well, we might be staying late, so I'll call when we're leaving to head back."

"Okay. Don't worry about it."

"Yeah, okay."

"You sure you're fine?"

"Yes."

"Okay." She ruffled his hair and left the table. Ryan nodded. Fine and dealing with Theresa never worked well in the same sentence ever since he started living in Newport.


	24. Splash

_Here it is, this chapter's a little slow, but I think I like how it turned out. I'm trying to make this story a little more versatile, because, believe it or not, my first intention with this story wasn't to make it a total Seth and Summer drama. So there's a little more Ryan in this chapter. I hope the next chapter won't take too long, but I'm not quite sure. Everything belongs to Mr. Schwartz and the super fly folks at FOX. Peace and love..._

She didn't really want to be here. She didn't need to be here. Jenn was really only there, because she loved her father. She didn't need to know this woman. She had Summer. She didn't need some woman who didn't love her like Summer did. She didn't need some woman's mother either.

But as soon as Ryan had walked into the house, he had had a smile on his face, and he hugged the woman who came to the door so tightly, that Jenn wondered if he ever hugged her Grandma Kirsten that tight. And the woman had looked at Jenn like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. Only her daddy ever looked at her like that. So she would stay for dinner. Just dinner.

"How do you like your dinner, Jennifer?" The woman's eyes were big and dark, not scary dark, just dark. Jenn nodded, not looking up too long.

"It's good, ma'am."

Ryan was leaning against his chair's back, his arm wrapped around the back of his daughter's chair. And he was still smiling. Not big or anything like Summer and Kirsten would make him do when they wanted, but it was still a smile. So Jenn would take it.

But the woman was always looking at her. And she didn't like that. But her dad squeezed her hand every now and then, and that was good. This woman was strange though.

"You know, Jennifer, I knew your father ever since he moved here which was...oh gosh, around six?"

Ryan nodded. "Yeah, six. The year after Fresno."

"That's right. You and that good looking brother of yours were always around my little girl."

"Uncle Trey? _Good_ looking?" Jenn looked to Ryan, but he just laughed.

"Oh he was very good looking, Jennifer. But he would hang out with my son more than Theresa. But your father and her were joined at the hip."

"That's right. We were the outcasts. Trey and Arturo used to always say we would just mess up their super secret plans."

Jenn nodded, leaning against her father in case he started crying like he had the last time he talked about the Cabalas.

"So, um, where's 'Arturo' now?" Jenn swirled her finger in circles on her father's arm, not willing to look up again.

"Well, he got a job in Reno, so he's been there for about five years now." She was old. Looked older than Jenn's Grandma. Kirsten was young and pretty, this woman had creases in her cheeks that folded when she smiled.

"Trey says it's good there." Ryan nodded. "He called a year or two ago. He said they see each other sometimes."

"I'm glad. There was a point when Arturo didn't want to talk to him. Thought he messed up your life, Theresa's life."

"It wasn't his fault."

"What? That she left? He knows that. Arturo had this whole idea that if Trey hadn't gotten taken in, you would've stayed and you and Theresa would've lived happily ever after. He misses his sister is all."

Ryan nodded again, a little stiffer this time. Jenn didn't like that either. "They were best friends since as long as I can remember. They'll always be able to work it out somehow."

"That's what I always thought it would be like with my Theresa. That she would miss you. She missed you so much that year."

"So she leaves to miss him more," Jenn mumbled, shifting against Ryan's chest.

"Jenn..."

"I'm sorry. She's the bad guy here, isn't she? It's not Uncle Trey, it's not the other guy, and it's definitely not you. So it has to be here. I don't think we have to talk about how great she is."

"Jennifer, Theresa may have made some mistakes, but she's not the bad guy here. There is no bad guy." The woman's smile was gone with Ryan's.

"Jenn, watch your mouth. She's your mother."

"She isn't my mother! I'm sorry, she might've been great, and she might've been pretty, but she wasn't ever my mother. I have a mother, and she loves me."

"Jenn, Summer isn't your mother. Summer loves you, and she'll always be there for you, but she isn't your mother. This is always going to be a part of you, and I'm sorry if you're not interested in it."

"I _am_, but you don't have to pretend you want to be here, Daddy." She let her voice fall back down like Summer had taught her.

"I do want to be here. Jenn, this is, was, home to me. You have to appreciate that somehow."

"Fine. But what does it matter anyway? I'm not going to ever be able to understand this, just like I'm not ever going to get to see this woman you call my mother. Why try to make me think of her then? I don't know her, I don't remember her, and I'm not a part of _this_ family. I know where I belong so you _don't_ have to try and confuse me and say all of that was wrong and this is right."

"Jennifer, your father and I are not trying to convince or confuse you at all. Just the opposite actually. Don't blame Ryan, I asked to see you. I'm sorry if you feel uncomfortable, but I just wanted to see how good my Ryan can raise them."

"Oh." Jenn's voice fell even farther down to a low murmur. "I'm sorry. I bet your daughter was very nice."

"Don't be sorry, Jennifer. Now, would you like to help me with the tea?"

Jenn looked to Ryan and he nodded. She shrugged. "Okay."

Kirsten didn't like the house this quiet. She hadn't had a house empty of kids since, like, ever. Granted, there were Summer and Seth, and she still considered them kids, but they didn't hang around too long. They were always somewhere, enjoying the lack of Ryan, Marissa, Chris, Jenn, everyone. Marissa came over sometimes, just for dinner though, and she always had somewhere to go. So Summer and Seth got to have some real couple time. Kirsten just missed sounds in her house.

She sat in the kitchen in the mornings, reading the paper, saying hi to Seth and Summer on their way out, and then she worked all day. But apparently Summer and Seth had already gone out, because the noises outside seemed to hint at a car pulling in to the driveway. Then, it was definitely followed by giggling of the Summer variety, and Kirsten smiled a little despite herself. The giggles got louder, but suddenly she heard a shriek too.

"Cohen!"

It was followed by a large splash and Kirsten just shook her head, not even bothering to look outside. She was smiling wider though. If this had all happened at 16, 17, any of that, Summer would have been adopted already. After Ryan, Kirsten hadn't really been afraid of welcoming in new people anymore. But Summer had come when she was nineteen and trying desperately to get through college without parents and with a one year old. But she was still Kirsten's daughter. And now that she had her son back, it might be able to become official. And with the way she'd catch Summer looking at him, when Seth was reading the paper or anything, Kirsten knew it couldn't be long. It wouldn't be long. And that's what would be best for them anyways.

But then there was still the tiny voice that told her that if Seth married Summer, Seth wouldn't be able to leave again. Which is a completely ridiculous reason to get married to someone, but still. She'd have the security of knowing her son could not leave. He couldn't.

"Geez, Cohen, I'm freezing." The glass door opened, and a dripping wet Summer ran her hands up and down her shirt plastered arms.

"Yeah? Well, I mean, we can take care of tha-ha...Mom. Hi. Good morning."

Seth dropped a quick kiss on his mother's head and picked up an apple from the fruit basket. He scrunched up his nose and rolled his eyes. "Do we have any...you know what? Never mind. Apples are...good." He emphasized the last word by biting down hard.

Kirsten just rolled her eyes and nodded. She patted Summer's shoulder, saying, "He's your problem now, sweetheart. I have work."

Summer grinned, nodding slowly and seriously. She held Kirsten in a one armed hug as she walked out of the kitchen and to her car.

Seth spun around on his foot, holding both of Summer's hands in each of his.

"We didn't chase her out or anything, right?"

"No, she just misses Ryan. So she works."

"Oh. Well, he'll be back soon."

"She wasn't expecting him to spend the night in Chino."

Seth shrugged. "He's not staying forever."

"Last time he went to Chino it took him two years." Summer shrugged back. "But I don't know. It's Kirsten. She just worries."

"When does Chris' plane land?"

"A few hours. You know Luke's going to spend a few days here too."

Seth nodded. "Yeah. Why?"

Summer's mouth hung open for a second, but she just shrugged. "No reason. So, what are we going to do for...four hours?"

"Four?"

She nodded, moving in closer and leaning her cheek against Seth's chest. He smiled and kissed her forehead, releasing her hands and wrapping his around her back.

"Well, we could probably fit two IMAX movies in there."

"Yeah...IMAX movies. Great idea."

"Migrating birds..." Seth murmured in a singsong way, cocking his head.

Summer giggled, backing him up against the counter and pulling down the curtain.

Ryan stretched his neck, squinting his eyes through the lack of thick, pink curtain Kirsten had picked out for him blocking out the sun. Jenn was sleeping under his arm, so he slid out of the bed as carefully as possible. She had been getting along so well with Ms. Cabala last night, that they had stayed up past eleven laughing and talking. She didn't have to get up just yet.

He was still wearing his jeans and tee shirt, and he could feel the imprints of the jeans' seams on his legs. But the house smelled good. He walked into the kitchen, sitting on the counter next to Ms. Cabala and her pots and pans.

"Hungry?"

"Yeah, what are you making?"

"A real breakfast for my granddaughter. You might have to just find an apple or something." She smiled.

Ryan leaned his head over the pot, causing Ms. Cabala to lightly tap him with her spoon.

"Patience, Mr. Atwood."

Ryan smiled and leaned his back against the cabinets.

"So where's Jennifer?"

"Still sleeping."

"Did she say anything more...about me maybe?"

Ryan nodded. "She thinks you're nice."

"That's all? No 'real' feelings coming out?"

"What do you mean?"

"About me...Theresa..."

"Jenn always has a problem with that. She doesn't understand why she needs to get that Theresa _is_ her mother. She's grown up adopting Summer as that figure and she thinks we should just live and let die."

"But what if she was to come back?"

Ryan hesitated for a second. "Yeah...that's what I was thinking. Um...Ms. Cabala, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, sweetie."

"Have you...I don't mean to offend you, but...have you heard from her? Is that why you...you know, called?"

"Well, I have gotten a phone call from her. A long way back though. I just wanted to meet my granddaughter, Ryan, I promise."

"Okay. No, that's what I thought. I was just...wondering."

"Are you worried, sweetie?"

"About what?"

"Her coming back. I know you are; I can see it."

"I don't know. It would be a good thing. Jenn could meet her mother."

"But you are afraid you might lose your daughter."

Ryan shifted on the counter, nearly whispering when he started talking again. "I already lost Theresa. I don't need...to see her again. That's just...over."

"I understand, honey. She hurt you, and you're afraid she'll hurt your daughter. But I have heard that that boy you were always talking about came back. Seth? And are you worried about him?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're worried about Theresa coming back to break your heart all over again, and Jenn's too. What about this boy?"

"Seth's staying."

"But if you can believe that, couldn't you believe it of Theresa too?"

Ryan stayed on the counter as a girl came up between him and Ms. Cabala.

"That smells _so_ good."

"Good. Are you hungry, Jennifer?"

"Starving. Daddy? Are you going to eat?" Jenn looked up at him, a half smile on her face, and a whole one in her eyes.

Ryan put a smile on his face too, nodding, "Yeah, babe. Why don't we go set the table?"

Jenn grinned and grabbed some forks and spoons from the cabinet, walking towards the table. Jenn really was able to adapt well. Ryan knew that. But she was already walking around this place like she knew it. That was new.


	25. Hide

"_Brendan_, we _have_ to _go_!" Marissa grabbed her pocketbook off the bedside table, shoving a few dollar bills into it, and shouting louder down the stairs. "Where _are_ you? Bren..."

"I'm right here. Sorry I was late." Marissa spun around, feeling her husband's arms around her waist.

"What took so long?"

"Ms. Feldman's divorce doesn't want to close. She keeps complaining about something else she can't live without, and, oh, baby, I'm sorry. Were you waiting a long time?"

Marissa shrugged. "I went shopping with Summer today. We got back, like, six-ish, so not that bad."

"Okay. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes. Are you going to brush your hair?"

"I did...yes." He caught himself.

"Thank you, baby."

She thrust a comb into his chest. Brendan took a gentle hand to tilt up her chin, kissing her lightly.

"Are you okay?" he asked, a touch of concern in his eyes.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason."

"Okay, then. Let's go." Marissa grabbed the comb, leafed it through his hair a few times, and grabbed his hand, pulling him out of the house.

The Newpsie parties never would end. Marissa realized that she chose a profession that made her deal with these women constantly, but she still hadn't recovered from that two year stint with some bartender. Even Brendan didn't know about that. Besides Ryan, Luke, and Brendan, of course, Marissa had only had one _real_ relationship. She didn't even see the girl anymore. Rumor said she became some rock star's wife, tagging along from stage to stage. Brendan actually didn't know a lot. Actually, the only people who really did know the whole story were Ryan and Summer. Well, Summer, but Marissa had great reason to believe that she had told Ryan everything.

In the Bentley, Marissa glanced over at her husband and noticed that his tie was the exact same color as the lining of her dress. Well, it wasn't like she just noticed; she _had_ set the suit out for him on the bed, because she knew he would be coming home late. But she saw his tie, and she glanced down at her dress. Julie used to always do stuff like that.

"Riss! God, you look gorgeous!" Summer threw her arms around Marissa's neck, kissing her cheek. Seth's ears started to pink.

"Hey, Sum...are you drunk?"

"Maybe," Summer sang. Chris walked up in between the two of them.

"Yes. She is." He rolled his eyes and smiled at Marissa.

"Hey, Chris, when did your plane get in?"

"Nine o'clock. But we were late, because Daddy fell asleep on the plane, and they had to _ask_ us to leave."

"Really?"

Chris nodded, rolling his eyes again. Seth took his hand.

"But he got to sleep in his own bed last night, right, Chris?"

He nodded again, squeezing Seth's hand.

"And Summer isn't _that_ drunk," Seth murmured into Marissa's ear. "Just some martinis with my mom."

"Ah." Marissa nodded, smiling at Kirsten, walking in behind Summer.

"But _I'm_ not drunk." Kirsten patted Summer on the shoulder. "And it's cold out here, let's go in."

Sandy took hold of his wife's elbow, smiling at Marissa and walking in.

"But _really_, Riss, you look beautiful." Summer nodded knowingly.

Marissa smiled. "Thanks, Sum, you too." She turned to Seth. "You look hot too."

He smiled, kissing her cheek too. "As do you. Hey Brendan."

Brendan smiled too, finally acknowledged. Marissa looked back at Seth. "Are Ryan and Jenn back?"

"Uh, almost. They started driving a little late, so they were just going to meet us here."

"They stayed another night?"

Seth nodded. "Kind of the reason my mom wanted to have martinis with Summer."

Marissa's eyes softened, remembering the last time Kirsten had loaded up on the martinis, margaritas, and whatever. This was different though. Ryan knew his place, and he wouldn't dream of taking Jenn away from hers.

Seth knew once Summer got into the room, she would be fine. Anyways, a drunk woman wasn't anything that caught one's eye at this kind of party. He couldn't believe that he'd actually missed this. There weren't as many black tie events as he remembered, so when this one came, he had welcomed it. A little less so when Summer made him look at every dress she had that was "appropriate for this sort of thing"; even less so when he realized that tying a tie was not at all like riding a bike; lesser still when a forty year old woman spilled her drink on his arm, dabbing ferociously with a smile on her lips.

"What's your name, sweetie?" She had too blonde hair with almost a faint of light brown roots showing. He was about to open his mouth when a perfectly composed Summer, still looking unbelievably good in a dark midnight blue evening down, stood in front of him.

"Hi, Mrs. Cartimane, you're looking awfully tired; are you sure you're getting enough sleep?"

"Why yes, I believe so." The woman looked stunned, the wrinkles not showing on her forehead.

"Wow, it must just be you, then. Could you excuse us?" Summer grabbed Seth's tie, trailing him after her and into a bathroom. She pushed him up against the closed door, kissing him tightly and firmly. He was just about to kiss her back when she pulled away and shook her head.

"Never. Get. Lost. Here." She tapped his nose and sighed. "You're _welcome_."

She opened the door again, getting back to her fake laughs. Seth just shook his head and went off in search of Sandy, smiling at Marissa who looked like she was doing everything to keep herself from hitting the woman she was talking to.

Ryan helped Jenn adjust her dress's hem.

"Where did you get this?" Ryan nodded up to Jenn.

"Uh, Summer and I went shopping like a month ago."

"Oh."

He finished pulling down the skirt and offered her his arm.

"Shall we?"

Jenn nodded, taking his hand and walking in with him. Once they got in, Jenn pointed out a tall girl for nine and said bye to Ryan. He shoved his hands into his pants' pockets, beelining a forty year old woman stumbling with a drink so he could get to Sandy and Seth.

"Hey, man, how was..." Seth's mouth was still open when Summer grabbed his arm, pulling him towards a group of people he had to meet with a hi to Ryan. Sandy smiled at him.

"They're cute, aren't they?"

Ryan nodded, turning to Sandy to ask him something when Kirsten came over, not smiling as wide as she was before.

"H-Hi, Ryan. Sandy...I don't feel so good."

"All right, honey. Ryan, could you excuse us?" Sandy took Kirsten's elbow again, heading towards the bathroom. Ryan sighed, looking around at the people he didn't know, and just walked towards the balcony. He sat down on a bench, his eyes catching the only other person hiding.

"Ryan? Not being social at a Newport party? Now I've seen everything." Marissa looked at him from her seat on the balcony's ledge, running her hands up her arms.

He smiled. "Why aren't you in there?"

"Sick of it. I think I'm becoming one of them." She shivered lightly, smiling even lighter.

"Here." He stood up and lay his jacket around her shoulders.

"Thanks."

"Where's Brendan?"

"He found a guy whose divorce he handled. They're talking about wife number two."

"Ah."

"Yeah. It's so comforting for my husband to talk all day to men who hate their wives."

"I bet."

Marissa's giggle started to fade. She cocked her head slightly to the left.

"So how was Chino?"

Ryan shrugged and leaned against the balcony beside her. "I missed it."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "It's so...comforting."

"How was Ms. Cabala?"

"Jenn likes her. It took a little, but by the time we were leaving they were reading and telling each other stories. Jenn likes anyone who'll listen."

Marissa laughed. "I've noticed. So are you guys going to see her again?"

Ryan nodded. "Sometime soon."

Marissa smiled, looking down as she asked, "Did she talk about Theresa?"

"Yeah." Ryan leaned his weight onto his hands on the stone of the balcony. "She hasn't heard a lot from her, but she knows she's okay and stuff. I think she knows where she is too."

"She didn't tell you?"

"No. It's just a guess anyway. She might now know where she is at all. She's gotten phone calls."

Marissa nodded. "And you're wondering why you didn't."

Ryan shrugged. "I thought she might want to know what her daughter's like."

Marissa looked at his eyes, staring at some crack in the wall opposite them. Focused as if he was counting the pieces of plaster. She leaned her cheek down on his shoulder.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I am. Okay. It was good to see her."

"Are you scared?" Marissa was almost whispering.

Ryan nodded and spoke almost as quietly. "Yeah."

Brendan, holding a glass of champagne, came out, stopping when he saw the two of them.

"Marissa, Ryan, sorry to...interrupt, but, um, honey? Are you ready to go? Everyone's pretty much past drunk in there now."

Marissa nodded, looking back at Ryan for a second. She kissed his cheek, making him smile, before hopping off and taking her husband's offered arm.

By the end of the night, Summer was one of the most sober women in the room. She was holding onto Seth's belt loop, smiling at all the people drunker than she was.

"Seth. You want to get out of here?"

Seth turned his face to look at her. "We can't. My parents."

"They're fine. Kirsten threw up, but she's better now. Sandy says she'll be fine. And you drove here, so we have a car."

"What about Chris?"

Summer nodded over to a bench on the side of the room where Chris was asleep, his head drooping onto his shoulder. Summer walked over to him, bending down to his level.

"Baby?" She shook his hand, making him yawn, and his eyes crust open.

"Mommy? I'm..." yawn. "I'm tired."

"I know, sweetie. Do you want to go home?"

Chris's eyes were heavy, but he just shrugged. Summer smiled, slipping Chris into the crook of her elbow.

"Let's go, babe."

Summer cradled his head with her other hand, kissing Seth quickly when he pointed towards the balcony.

"Don't take too long."

He nodded, and Summer walked over to Kirsten and Sandy, rocking Chris back to sleep.

Ryan had turned around on the ledge, watching the teenagers making out in the courtyard beneath him.

Seth tapped his shoulder and leaned his elbows against the balcony.

"Hey, man, how's it going?"

Ryan shrugged. "It's all right. Did you see Jenn in there?"

"Yeah, her and a gaggle of about seven."

Ryan laughed under his breath, nodding. "That's Jenn."

"How'd she like Chino?"

"It grew on her I guess."

"Like mold?"

"Something like that. Like Newport Beach grew on me."

Seth nodded, patting Ryan's back. "If you need to talk, man, you know..."

"I know."

"All right. We're gonna go, so I'll see you."

"See you."

Ryan turned back to the courtyard and trees as tall as the building. Seth pulled in his lips and nodded, finding Summer and Chris and walking out with them.

Chris was back to sleep when they pulled into the driveway. Seth carried him into the pool house, laying him silently on the bed. As he was closing the door, he heard a "goodnight, Seth." He whispered good night back and walked into the main house.

Summer was twirling a water bottle with her finger on the kitchen table. She twirled her head with it, but stopped when she saw Seth.

"Did he stay asleep?"

"For the most part."

She smiled and stood up, braceletting his wrist with her fingers. He sucked in a breath, blinking his eyes a few times.

"You tired?" She tilted her head to one side. He shook his no.

"I'm fine." He stepped closer to her, kissing her lips as lightly as she thought was humanly possible. He was either really into teasing her, or he wasn't in the mood. It was always better to assume the worst.

Summer stepped backward, putting distance between them. She lay a hand on his chest, keeping it. She smiled, knowing there was no question. She was most definitely tying to tease him.

"Because you can go to bed if you want."

"You better be in there with me."

"You need your sleep. You have school tomorrow."

He grinned and laughed ever so slightly. "Yes, I do. But I think I can risk it."

She smiled sweetly and as innocently as she could. "You shouldn't. It's a school night. Your mother wouldn't want you to stay up on a school night."

"My mother is the last person I'm thinking about."

"Oh yeah? Who's the first?" Her eyes were looking at him, big with wonder.

"Definitely Ryan. That kid's hot shit."

Summer giggled as his arms encircled her. He buried his face in her neck, the soft gentle, light kisses forgotten. She leaned backwards, his arms preventing her from escaping, so that she could see his face. She sighed.

"Staying up late on a school night. Bad boy."

"Only for you." He kissed her lips lightly again, smiling at her as he pulled back. Then he leaned forward again, kissing her for just a second. She rolled her eyes, grabbed his hand, and pulled him upstairs.

Seth sat down on his bed, bunching her evening gown up, and pulling up her legs with him, one on each side. His kiss was hard but long, playing with the ends of her hair with his pointer finger. She rested a hand on either side of his neck, softly rocking her pelvis and tightening her legs around his thighs.

_Okay, so I was going to write the rest of that scene, but it wasn't good writing, so I'll let you guys use your imaginations. None of The O.C. belongs to me, Josh Schwartz and FOX are super cool. Peace out...(Bill Cosby: 'Since when is peace out? I thought peace was always in.')_


	26. Sometimes

_This chapter's dedicated to kay.note and her essays. It ends abruptly, but I think the next chapter should be rather quick. Let's say at least in three weeks. FOX, Mr. Schwartz, and McG are cool people. I'm just a dork._

It was sitting right there. Right in front of her. And she'd know. For sure. Finally for sure. She just wanted to know whether or not her entire life was about to change. Her entire life, his entire life, _and_ his entire life. Well, maybe not his life as much as it would have before, but still. A lot was riding on this little white stick. This little white stick that could make or break her life. His life, definitely. His life? Maybe. Hopefully. Or maybe hopefully not. It didn't even make sense in her own head, but it would make more sense once she saw it. Once she saw the little blue line, or the little pink line, or wait. She didn't even know what color the line should be. She shouldn't be left with big things like this. She couldn't handle big, huge things like this. She wasn't really that strong. People might think she was, but she really wasn't. Especially when it came to things like this. When it came to things like this, she could swear she was still sixteen, maybe eighteen. Both had been eventful years. And this could be too. Or it might not. It might be a _really_ eventful year according to a few nights ago. But she hoped it wouldn't. But sometimes she really hoped it did. But this stick! This stupid, white stick. Blue, pink, white, it was all bad. She shouldn't have to have this thing. She hadn't wanted to see another one again after the last one. And look how well that turned out. She didn't have to worry about anyone there. Everyone seemed to be happy. What if she didn't end up happy though? What if this was the one mistake that could keep her from having her dreams? Everything she ever wanted...what if it was ruined by this one stick? She wished she could've had her best friend sitting next to her. It would've made it so much easier. Her best friend was so sane nowadays, while she was still staring at this blue stick, blurring all the colors together with her eyes, still unsure what color she wanted to show up. Still unsure which colors _should_ show up. This one was so different from the last one. And then she hadn't been as nervous, because her best friend had been sitting _right _there. Blue was for a boy, pink was for a girl? No. That's stupid. She wasn't thinking straight. She needed to calm down. She pulled out the instructions again. Two purple bands in both the circle and the triangle meant positive. She knew that. One band in the triangle was negative. Right. She _knew_ this. Taking a breath, she stepped forward.

"Babe?"

"Uh, yes?" She stepped back from the stick and called towards the door.

"Something wrong?"

"Uh, no, I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay."

Jenn leaned over and kissed her father's cheek, making him smile.

"So how was school?"

"Good."

"That's good."

Jenn looked out the window and the sky that was actually almost clouding over. Ryan glanced over at her for a second, but looked back at the road the next.

"Hey Dad?"

"Yeah, Jenn?"

"Do you think, maybe, sometime, you know, Ms. Cabala could come...here?"

"Uh, we can ask. Any reason?"

"Well, I mean, I was thinking that Thanksgiving's coming up, and her son's in Reno, and her daughter's away, so she might get kind of lonely."

"Well, I mean, yeah, sure. Of course we can ask her. We should just ask Grandma and Grandpa first."

Jenn nodded. "I know. I just thought it would be nice."

"It would be nice."

Jenn smiled and leaned her head back down on her palm, finding the same dot on the window she had been staring at before.

"Daddy?" She hadn't even turned her head this time, but he stared at her eyes focused on something he couldn't see.

"Yeah."

"Did Uncle Seth like Theresa?"

"Um, I don't know. You'd have to ask him."

"What do you think?"

"He didn't really know her that well."

"But..."

Ryan shrugged. "He got mad at her, but it wasn't a big deal or anything."

"Why was he mad at her?"

Ryan looked back at her for a second and saw her eyes staring right back up at him.

"Jenn, it's nothing. It's in the past."

Jenn's eyes widened as Ryan turned his head away. "Is that why he left Newport? Why he made Grandma and Grandpa and _you_ cry? Because of me?"

"Baby, it was more than that. He had some stuff he had to work out."

"But he left because you had to go help Theresa have me."

"That was like the final straw of a lot of things. Jenn, he was just mad."

"But he left because of me. In the end." She crossed her arms over her chest and slid down her seat.

"No, Jenn, he..."

"Daddy, you can say whatever you want, but in the end he left because of..."

"He left because of _me_, okay? It was my fault, and I should've handled it, but I didn't. He left because I made a mistake, and that's why Kirsten cried all the time, and that's why Sandy started burying himself away from his family, and that's why Summer almost committed suicide, or ran away, or became a hooker, or any of that stuff she wanted to do! It all was my fault, so don't blame yourself, Jenn, the baby wasn't it! He _knew_ I was going to go, and I wasn't even man enough to catch on to whatever the fuck he wanted to do! I left him without saying a real goodbye for _nine years_. It's _all_ my fault, so just...shut your mouth. It's always going to be my fault, and it has nothing to really do with you. It's me! It was me."

Jenn's eyes were fixated on his Adam's apple, afraid to look in his eyes. Her dad was mad about something. These were the times Aunt Summer would take her into the pool house and talk to Daddy with her finger out. She'd point and yell at him and eventually, he would calm down and tell Jenn he was so sorry; he didn't mean to yell at her.

And then she'd ask who he meant to yell at, and he would go quiet. Something like this hadn't happened in forever, though. She thought maybe he was over screaming. Going off, Aunt Summer called it. Because he used to do at least once a week, but he hadn't done it since Uncle Seth had come back. But here he was using the words he said she couldn't, and screaming about nothing she understood. She got the words, but her dad always had something else to say. That's what Aunt Summer said. The words he said weren't what he was trying to get across. There was a reason he was saying each word.

And she knew that when he got like that, she should just get quiet. So she did. And a few minutes later he was apologizing.

"Jenn, babe, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...do that. It's just been...a lot lately."

"I know. I'm sorry I provoked you."

"You didn't. And Uncle Seth didn't leave because of you. I promise."

"It probably wasn't you either."

"Yeah, well..." Ryan put his hand on top of hers.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't mean to yell."

"I know."

"Okay."

"Okay." She turned and found a smile to give him. He smiled back.

Summer closed her eyes and she was in a romance novel, a romantic comedy, a love song by someone that could really sing. She opened her eyes and she hadn't left his arms, and she smiled, because she knew she didn't have to dream to have perfection. She knew Seth was nearly asleep, his chest was moving extremely slowly, his breath blowing a few hairs on the top of her head. She didn't care. She didn't know what the show they were supposed to be watching was about anyways.

The last time she had fallen asleep at 4:30, she had been a new mother, actually, it had been the day she had moved into the Cohens' house. Kirsten had insisted she calm down, lie down. She had resisted, because Seth needed her. She was still calling her baby Seth. It was his name, so there was no reason she shouldn't, but it was weird, and it hurt her ears sometimes. They had started calling him Chris at three, when he had started to talk so you could understand him. He went on and on and on about everything, sometimes Summer could make out words, but a lot of the time, only he could know exactly what he was saying. Nevertheless, he talked all the time. And Sandy had started it. Calling him Chris. He said that a boy had to be his own man, and that he couldn't stand calling him someone else. Kirsten called him Seth up until the original Seth came back.

Summer's eyes blinked open a few times, being met by large green eyes and a few random dark brown wisps.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"You have to go."

"Where?"

"Daddy's on the phone."

Summer nodded, slipping out from under Seth's arm and yawning dramatically. She took the phone from Chris and took it into the kitchen.

"Hey," Summer mumbled.

"Hey. Are you okay? You sound tired."

"Uh, yeah, I just woke up."

"You nap?"

"Sometimes." Summer hopped onto the counter.

"Okay, then."

"So what's up, Luke? You just want to chat about my sleeping habits?"

"You're cranky."

"You woke me up. Actually, your son did, but you know."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I just wanted to know if you guys were getting on okay."

"You know we are. What's up?"

"I'm sorry for wanting to know about my-my family."

Summer sighed, crossing her legs. "It's okay. What, are you lonely or something? Where are you? Still in Newport?"

"Uh, yeah, at the Marriott."

"I'll be there in, like, ten minutes."

"No, that's okay. You don't have to."

"Shut up, Luke."

She hung up the phone and grabbed her keys off the kitchen table. She knelt beside the couch, Chris in the place she had been laying a few seconds ago. He was turned into Seth's chest, his breathing slow and heavy. Summer kissed his head and Seth's too, and left a note on the table saying she was out.

She knocked sharply at his door, tapping her right foot impatiently. Luke opened the door with a wire connected to his ear and a loosened tie hanging on his neck. He beckoned her in, shutting the door behind her.

"Listen, Scott, I'm sure your wife needs you, but this is possibly going to break us. I'd have to let you go. Scott. Scott." Luke pulled the wire out of his ear and looked down at his cell phone in his hand. "Goddammit."

Summer rolled her eyes and pulled the phone out of his hand.

"You made me come all the way down here; you're not going to ignore me no matter how awkward you think this might be." She tossed the phone onto the side table of the suite.

"You didn't have to come down here."

"You're so lame, of course I did. Do you have any food?" She walked away from him and into the kitchen, reaching up into the cupboards.

"Wow, cheap wine and Chinese food, looking to seduce a woman and get laid, Luke Ward?"

"It's just me here until I leave, so..."

Summer pulled out the white cartons and the dark wine bottle and very unceremoniously sat down on the floor of the kitchen.

"You know, there's a table," Luke said, leaning against the door frame.

"Tables are for losers. You hungry? Yeah, you are. Come eat."

Luke looked down at his dress shirt and pants, looked up to Summer, shrugged, and sat down across from her.

"Dumpling?" She held out the box.

"Yes, dear?" He cracked a grin and took the box from her. She rolled her eyes again.

"That was really bad."

"I know. Sorry."

"So, who's Scott?"

"Kid just out of college. Wants to either sell cars or become a rock star."

"No astronaut?"

Luke shook his head. "But I think that's what he majored in at NYU."

"NYU...impressive. Scott's married when he's just out of NYU?"

"Yeah, high school sweetheart. Used to live down the street from him."

"Aw. That's cute."

Luke laughed and shook his head again. "You hate it."

"What? Why?"

"It's too perfect. Cheesy."

"Maybe."

"You like the drama."

"Well, it does make better gossip. So, any mistress for young Scott?"

"Not yet."

Summer smiled and swung back the bottle of wine.

Marissa knocked on the Cohens' door, opened by a sweatshirt clad Kirsten.

"Marissa, sweetie, how are you? You're looking beautiful."

"Thanks, Ms. Cohen. Is Summer here?"

"Um, I'm sorry, sweetie, she had to run out. She should be back soon, though, if you want to wait."

"Um, okay. What are you up to?"

"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire reruns. Care to join me?"

"Sure." Marissa grinned and followed Kirsten up the stairs. They sat on the floor of the master bedroom, and Marissa turned her head a bit. She'd never been in here. She'd known the Cohens since she was seven, and she had never been in their bedroom. Kirsten was just watching the t.v.

"Celebrity 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.' Yeah, I have a life." Kirsten grinned up at Marissa from her position on her stomach and elbows. Marissa mimicked her stance.

"It's nearly the holidays. You don't have to have a life."

"Yeah, that's true. There's such a build-up at work, though. How's that going for you? I never saw a lot of your clothing."

"It's...coming. Slow, but it'll be finished soon. I hope. I hate having other people do things for me. They almost always screw it up."

"Marissa, your mother has worked for me for almost ten years. Believe me, I know."

Marissa giggled and pulled her ankles up to meet each other. "Right."

Kirsten laughed and touched Marissa's forehead with her thumb. "I always wanted you and Summer to be the ones, you know that? I couldn't have found better girls if I _chose_ girlfriends for my boys."

Marissa smiled and nodded. "You were always the best. I wanted to be part of your family since I was ten, but Seth had cooties then, so..."

"Right. Sorry about that." Kirsten smiled back. "But, you know, if you ever need a place to run away to, our doors are open."

"I know."

"Good."

Seth woke up with his arm stuffed between the cushions of the couch, along with the long lost remote. He rolled over onto his back, a tiny face now embedded into his side. He propped himself up onto his elbows and recognized the little boy. A few seconds after his eyes fell on Chris's face, Chris's eyes opened.

"Hey," Chris groaned, pushing himself up.

"Morning."

"It's the afternoon."

"It's an expression. Where's your mom?"

"I think she went to see Dad."

Seth nodded. "How long ago?"

Chris shrugged. "I was sleeping."

"Right. So, I have to shower, but you want to go somewhere after? The..." yawn. "beach or something?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Okay." Seth ruffled his hair, yawned again, and headed towards the bathroom.

"Oh. My. God, I did not." Summer giggled and took another drink from the open wine bottle.

"Yes, you did. The week before graduation, _you_ made a move on _me_."

"Stop flattering yourself, _Mr._ Ward, you know nothing."

"But this is true, Miss Roberts."

"Whatever lets you sleep at night."

"Yeah...so."

"So."

"How's Seth?"

"You really want to know?"

"Dying to."

"I _swear_ that kid gets hotter every day."

"That's...lucky."

"Mm-hmm."

"But you guys are good? He treats you...good?"

"No, Luke, he beats me like _every_ day. Of course we're good." Summer pushed Luke's shoulder a bit to emphasize her point.

"Yeah, of course. Of course you're good. How's he with Chris?" Luke's drunken tone had softened, causing Summer's face to go with it.

"Why do you want to know, Luke?"

"I'm just wondering how my son is."

"They're great together. Seth takes care of Chris, and Chris takes care of Seth. They're always smiling and laughing, and I think Chris tries to pull him closer into a father position every day." Summer's eyes were on her lap, but Luke just nodded.

"That's good. Because, then, if you and Seth decide to...Chris will be ready."

"Luke, he loves you, you know? Chris talks about you almost every day. He misses you when you're gone."

"I know."

"I miss you too sometimes."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I am with Seth, though."

"I know. And I really just want to be your friend."

Summer looked up and raised her eyebrows.

Luke stammered, "What? I-I do."

"Good, then."

"So tell me about Seth. Is it the same as it was?" Luke reclined back to an elbow and Summer pulled her knees in.

"Sometimes. Sometimes it's better. Sometimes it's...weird."

"Weird?"

"He makes me nervous."

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid...that...he was happier out...there." Summer gestured with her hand around her head, letting it finally rest on her shoulder.

"He wasn't."

"How do you know?"

"I just know. He loves you."

"Why are you doing this, Luke? You really want me to be with him?"

Luke ignored her. "Does he make you happy?"

Summer wasn't expecting that, but shrugged anyway. "Yeah. Most of the time."

"And the rest of the time?"

"I told you; he makes me nervous."

"What about him?"

"What do you mean, what about him?"

"Do you think he's nervous?"

"I...don't know."

"Yes, you do. You can see nervous. It's one of your gifts."

"Oh really." Summer cracked a grin. "What are my other gifts?"

Luke kept a serious face. "You see the good when other people can't. You don't let people make decisions for you. You're not afraid of what you think is right. You're willing to do what you have to to get there. And you do it all while being one of the most beautiful women in the world."

"Okay." It was the first word she could think of, and once sputtered out of Summer's mouth, it hung there looking quite stupid.

Luke nodded. "Truth or dare."

Summer looked up, slightly confused for a second, but murmured, "Truth."

"Can you always remember the seconds you spent with him that year, or do they come to you when you're...in an embrace?"

Summer pulled her knees in farther, resting her chin on top. "Both sometimes. They'll come at random times. I never used to remember anything. But somehow, those days got seared in and they come to surface and random times. And they're usually small shreds. Except for when he kisses me, then they come in bunches."

Luke nodded; Summer nodded back.

"Truth or dare?" Summer nodded towards Luke.

"Truth."

"Would you ever sacrifice a dream girl for one that'll do when you decide to get married?"

Luke thought about it for a second. Another. Then he looked up. "Yes. If need be. Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Do you ever wish Seth was Chris's father by blood?"

Summer sat still, but kept her mouth closed from yelling at Luke for asking her a question she didn't want to answer. "No. I've thought about it, though. What would be different, and stuff."

"Is it better than it is now?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes not. Truth or dare."

"Dare."

Marissa lay on her back next to Kirsten, both staring at the ceiling.

"Kirsten? If I told you something, could you promise not to tell anyone?"

"Yes."

"I'm pregnant."

Ryan picked up his ringing cell phone before it managed to leak through Jenn's headphones.

"Hello?"

"Ryan."

Ryan's eyes remained exactly the same, his mouth slightly twitched upwards. "Theresa."

Seth lay still on his bed, Captain Oats lying on his chest.


	27. Honey

_Lots of block for this chapter. Lots of different versions. Sorry it took longer than I thought it would. The O.C. is way too cool to belong to me, alas. Peace and love..._

Chris walked close enough to the water so that his toes were just cold enough. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his jeans, his head bowed, shielding his forty-year old eyes from the setting sun. His head kept brushing against Seth's arm, the wind tickling Seth's skin.

"Seth?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Are you ever going to marry my mom?"

Seth shrugged. "I don't know."

"Do you want to?"

Seth walked a little slower. "Maybe."

"Do you think she wants to marry you?"

"I don't know, Chris. Why?"

Chris looked up at Seth's eyes that were staring straight back at him. "I want you to."

"I know."

"You'd be good at it."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"Why? You love my mom, right? You love me. What else is there?"

"There's a lot else."

"You're not going to leave again, right?"

"I hope not."

"What do you mean, you hope? You get to decide, right?"

"Right. I know. I just...I'm not sure I'm what you guys need."

"I need a father."

"That's not true."

"My dad isn't a _father_. He's a dad. I need a father."

"Chris..."

"You want it, right? You want me, and you want my mom. You're just...What is it that makes you so...not wanting to be my father?"

"Chris, it's not like that. I'm just not sure that I've spent a long enough time to become such a permanent person in both your lives. That's all."

"I heard you telling Uncle Ryan you wanted to marry my mom. That that was a reason you came back."

"I love her, and I would like to marry her, and I want to be your father, Chris, but there's more to it than that."

"Like what?"

"I...well...there is. Adult stuff."

"Adult stuff."

"It's important to me, okay, Chris? I don't want to make more mistakes that just...hurt people. Especially your mom. She doesn't need any of that."

"She needs something, though." Chris looked back to the sand in front of his feet, leaning harder against Seth until Seth's arm came around his shoulder.

Summer lay, nearly passed out, on the floor of Luke's motel room kitchen.

"So, Ward, you wish we had ended up?"

"You're just thinking that because you've finally remembered how cute my ass is."

"That's because you, like, showed it to me."

"It was a dare."

"Doesn't mean you had to _do_ it."

"I'm not chicken."

"Mmm. I have to get home."

"You want me to drive you?"

"You're wasted."

"Oh, and you're not?"

"No. I'm definitely wasted. I just wonder how I'm going to drive..." yawn. "home."

"Yeah...I can call a cab."

"No. I'll just call...Coop! Riss can take my home."

"Where is she?"

"I dunno. But she gave me one missed call on my phone."

Summer pushed the return call button, pulling up her knees as she rolled over onto her stomach.

"Hello?"

"Riss! Hi! You called me."

"Oh, yeah. I wanted to see you, but you were out."

"Yeah. Luke needed me. Can you give me a ride?"

"Where are you?"

"At Luke's hotel. The...Marriott. You know, the hotel?"

"Yeah, honey, are you drunk?"

"Yeah, something like that. Come on, Riss, you're not supposed to be dumb."

"Sorry. Yeah. I'm coming. And Sum?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Don't do anything stupid before I get over there. You didn't yet, right?"

"Stupid?"

"Something you'd regret. You didn't, right?"

"Uh...no, Riss, what's up with you?"

"Nothing. Just...stay still until I get there."

"Mm-hmm. Kay, Riss."

Summer turned off the phone, reclining back onto her elbows.

"Hey Luke?"

"Yup."

"You know how much Chris looks like you?"

Luke rolled his head over, shaking it slowly, back and forth. "He looks like you. Like so much."

Summer shook her head. "He's going to look like you. His jaw is like bam. And his eyes are _just_ like yours."

Luke shook his head, but grinned. "He's gonna be a hot kid."

Summer giggled. "I know! He's going to get all the girls. We'll have to get him out of Newport."

"Why?"

"Newport girls? Around my _Chris_?"

Luke laughed. "You still are a Newport girl."

"Yeah, and if I was Ms. Cohen, I wouldn't let me anywhere _near_ her son." Summer giggled, rolling over onto her back.

"Is she there?" Ryan looked around his shoulder.

"She's here somewhere." He smiled at the phone.

"Would she talk to me?"

"I don't know."

"My mom says she's real pretty."

Ryan nodded. "She is."

He heard the choke in Theresa's voice, so he kept talking. "She's got this beautiful light brown hair that still curls, these huge black eyes that look so much like yours, a smile that can really make anyone smile. And-and she likes to dance, and read, she's so smart, and she loves people. All kinds of people. She'll always see the good before anyone else. And she-she...she's so beautiful, Theresa."

"She sounds like you."

Ryan laughed. "I _never_ liked to dance."

"Well, that's true. So true. Do you remember the Winter Formal in sophomore year? We were the _only_ people not dancing to the _last_ song."

"Hey, well, that's kind of true. But it's better than a broken toe."

She laughed, and his smile widened. "How've you been?"

"Oh, well, you know, not good. I miss everyone."

"Have you seen your mom?"

"Just once or twice. We talk on the phone a lot."

"You should've called here sometime."

"I'm calling now."

"Do you want me to find her? She's around her somewhere."

"Um, no. That's okay. I'll call again, I just...wanted you to know that I-I still care."

"I know."

"Okay. So, I mean, tell her I called. And-and that I'm going to call back. Just so that she...she can make a decision, you know, whether or not she wants to talk to me."

"Okay. I will."

"And tell her I-I love her. Please."

"I will."

"Okay. I love you too, Ryan."

"I...okay. Bye."

"Bye."

Ryan hung up the phone, staring at it for a little longer than he had to. Jenn's arms came around his neck from behind.

"Who was that, Daddy?"

He turned to look at her and ran his hand down the back of her head.

"That was your mom."

Jenn's eyebrow furrowed. "My mom?"

"Theresa."

Jenn's arms fell. "She called here?"

Ryan nodded, turning around, keeping his hands on her tiny wrists.

"Jenn..."

"She called here. And you're not mad?"

"No. I'm not. You don't have to be either. Jenn..."

Jenn bit her lip and shook her head. "I can't believe this." She started to walk out of the room.

"Jenn! What about Ms. Cabala? You forgave her. Maybe you could forgive Theresa too."

Jenn spun around. "Ms. Cabala didn't leave you. Or me."

Ryan noticed she was crying. Usually, he could see the first bead of water threatening to be released from the corner of her eye. This time he hadn't noticed anything until four tears were touching her chin. He had been thinking about Theresa, and white houses, and dogs, and smiles, and laughs, and his baby had been crying. His Jennifer.

And she was running out of the room, but he hadn't sprung up to chase her yet. She was crying, and running away from him, and he was sitting in the middle of the room, doing nothing. He was still thinking about his high school sweetheart.

Marissa ignored Summer's babbling about how ridiculous the idea of take out was, Summer's moaning about how much her feet hurt, Summer's bitching about how Marissa shouldn't judge Summer about wearing sweatpants in public, because Marissa wore flip-flops with jeans, and Summer had even seen Brendan wearing socks with sandals, so Marissa should never judge Summer ever again. Seth would _never_ wear socks with sandals, and if he ever did, Summer would _correct_ him. That was the thing about Summer, when she was drunk or tired; she suddenly got very chatty, and couldn't shut up if she tried.

"Summer, why did you go to Luke's in the first place?"

"Duh, Riss, because he was, like, lonely. Riss. That's dumb. I miss Coop. Get rid of Brendan, and you can be Coop again. How awesome would that be? _So_ awesome. You know what else is so awesome? Remember Jake Ryan in Pretty in Pink? I used to love him _so_ much. I still love him. But I love Cohen now too, but he's still no Jake Ryan. Jake Ryan is, like, untouchable, don't you think? Like Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic. _So_ cute. Remember when everyone thought he was gay? That was dumb, right, Riss? He is so _not_ gay. Girls are just little jealous bitches and can't accept when they have _no_ chance with a guy. Like Anna. Remember Anna? She was nice, but she got all snotty when she realized that Cohen totally liked me best. I like Cohen, don't you, Riss? Cohen's awesome. I wonder if that dude that played Jake Ryan's still acting."

"Sum, breathe, okay?"

"I'm breathing. I'm just up, you know? We should go jogging or something. Remember when we used to go jogging? Like, right after Chris and I had all that ucky pregnant weight. Oh my god, you should have a baby, Riss; it'd be _so_ weird if you were fat. But it's not really fat, because it's pregnant, and it's cute, you know? Like...a glow."

"Uh-huh."

"But you don't want a baby, right, Riss? You always said you and Brendan are way too busy for a baby, and you're right. I was too busy for a baby too. What with trying to go to college. I wish I had gone to college like you. That would've been fun. Like, you hear about it on t.v. and you see it in the movies, but you actually got to _do_ it. I'm jealous. But I'm happy I had Chris then, I guess, because that means he's old now and I don't have to worry about all that crap, and Cohen likes him now. I bet Cohen wouldn't like him so much if he was screaming all the time. Like remember that time he would _not_ shut up for, like, a week? That was so frustrating."

"Uh-huh. I never said I _didn't_ want a baby, though."

"Believe me, you don't, Riss. They're cute when they're little, but you're such a good aunt, you don't _need_ to be a mother."

"But it would be kind of cool, don't you think?"

"No, Riss, do not start baby talk, because then you're going to think you want one, and you don't. No, you were right before. You don't want a baby. You don't need a baby. You probably wouldn't be the right kind of mother for it."

"What? And you're the perfect 'kind of mother?' You had a baby when you were nineteen, dropped out of college, started living with your ex boyfriend's parents, and then threw your son into thinking he's got this perfect new father when your ex boyfriend decides to sail back."

Summer sat, silent, watching Marissa pound the steering wheel, and finally huff back into her seat. As soon as she sunk back into her seat, Marissa started talking again.

"Oh god, Summer, I'm sorry. That's not true. You're a good mother. I know that, and you know that. I'm sorry."

Summer let her chest fall and looked at Marissa's tired eyes trying to focus on the road. "What's wrong, Marissa?"

"Nothing. I'm just having...this problem."

"Is it what I said? Because I'm sorry if I offended you. You might be an Anthony Michael Hall fan." Summer grinned, running her hand on Marissa's arm.

Marissa laughed softly and nodded. "That's it Summer. I was always rooting for the skinny, blonde kid."

"But seriously, Riss, what's wrong?"

"I just...I could be an okay mother, right?"

"Yeah, Riss. Why?"

"I better."

"Better what?"

"Be an okay mother."

"What? Why would you...are you pregnant?" Summer turned her whole body sideways, her entire drunken babbling replaced by a need to take care of her friend and gossip.

Marissa shrugged, letting her head fall onto her palm.

"Oh my god, you're pregnant? And you didn't tell me? Riss!"

"It didn't come up."

"Didn't come up? Riss! You let me give my speech about friggin Jake Ryan and you're going to have a baby? Why didn't you tell me to shut the hell up?"

Marissa smiled. "Doesn't work usually."

"I'm not drunk enough to not care that you're having a baby. I could never get there."

"I would've told you eventually."

"I hope so. Unless you let little Jesse or Jocelyn tell me themselves."

Marissa grinned. "You remember?"

Summer laughed. "Duh, Riss. Eighth grade."

"I can't believe you remembered that. That's the first thing I was thinking when I found out."

"Really?"

"Well, the second."

Summer giggled. "Do you think Brendan would go for either of them?"

Marissa's grin fell, but she just shrugged. "I don't know. There are probably some names in his family he has to pass on or something."

"That's what middle names are for, baby. Jesse's such a good name too. Oh my god, what if you have a girl and she and Chris get married?"

Marissa giggled again. "Then Chris would be a little cradle robber."

Summer shrugged. "Seven years is so not bad. And I bet they'd make such a cute couple. And we'd be related!"

"In some weird, complicated way."

"Yeah, but so what. We could say we were sisters."

"Sure, Summer. Mr. and Mrs. Chris and Jocelyn Roberts."

Summer gasped. "It's perfect. Aw, Riss! Our kids have good married names!"

"We don't even know I'm having a girl."

"When did you find out?"

"This morning."

"You didn't tell anyone since this _morning_?"

"What? Oh, no, I told Kirsten."

Summer's back straightened from her anticipating hunch. "You told Kirsten? When?"

"Well, I went over to the Cohens' looking for you, and she was there, so..."

"You didn't call me."

"Yes, I did. Your phone was turned off. I left a message."

"Your message just said you were coming over. It didn't say you were pregnant."

"I was coming over to tell you."

"But you got there, saw I wasn't there, said 'oh well' and told Kirsten instead? I thought we had a pact, Riss. We were going to be each other's maids of honor, and we-we'd call each other first when we found out we were pregnant. I called you."

"And you were my maid of honor."

"And so that's it? You tell _Kirsten_? You're not even that close with her."

"Sum, what am I supposed to do about it? She was there, and I had to tell someone."

"So it was just that she was there. So if Holly's in Newport and I'm getting married, she'll be my maid of honor."

"Summer, it's not that I didn't want to tell you first."

"Kirsten? What if Ryan had been the only person there, would you have told him?"

Marissa's eyes were growing. "Summer, I'm sorry. I..."

"You'd tell Ryan first over me. Your ex boyfriend who you never really cared about since he had a baby. You'd tell him over me just because he was there."

"Summer, we're not talking about Ryan."

"The mailman. No one's home, but the mailman was walking around. Man, I hope that mailman's not around when you need a babysitter."

"Summer, stop. You know I would've told you first if I had the choice."

"No, it's fine, Marissa. Tell Kirsten. In fact, I think Kirsten probably would make an excellent maid of honor. She's loyal, a true friend..."

"Summer, you're _drunk_, okay? Calm down."

"I'm calm, Marissa. Why don't you go tell Kirsten how calm I am?"

"Summer, that's not fair."

Summer slumped her shoulders and rested her head against the car window.

Seth laughed with his mouth open as Chris pushed him into the living room. Chris shoved him as hard as he could until Seth fell onto the couch. Chris then sat on top of him, trying to get comfortable. Seth laughed, but stopped resisting. Chris's legs moved along with Seth's heavy inhales and exhales.

They heard the front door slam, both dark heads spinning to Summer stomping into the living room.

"Hi Mommy..." Chris rolled off of Seth's stomach, letting him sit up.

"Summer?"

"Guess what, you guys. Marissa's pregnant. Surprised? Yeah, me too. Not so much to Kirsten though. But you know, Kirsten and Marissa are close like that. They talk _all_ the time, and they can tell each other _all_ these secrets before including me."

Marissa rolled her eyes, finally catching up with Summer's ascent into the living room.

Seth grinned. "You're pregnant?"

Chris stood up. "You're going to have a baby!"

Marissa smiled and nodded, opening her arms as Chris and Seth came to hug her. Summer groaned.

"Goddammit, my head hurts."

Seth kissed Marissa's cheek and smiled at Summer.

"Drunk much?"

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "What's your problem, Cohen?"

He laughed and put his hand on her forehead. "You want me to take you to bed?"

"I can go myself."

"Okay. Just making sure you remember where it is."

"Ha. Ha-ha. Wow, you're a funny one, you know that?"

"Mm-hmm." Seth picked her up by her thighs, swinging her over his shoulder and ignoring her ear-shattering moan. "God_dammit_, Seth, my _head_."

Chris grinned up at Marissa. "Are you going to have a girl baby or a boy baby?"

Marissa laughed, pulling Chris into her waist. "I don't know. But you can't tell anyone yet, okay? I wish your mom hadn't just blurted it out in the first place."

"I won't tell. My mommy's drunk; don't be mad at her."

"I'm not. She'll be better in the morning."

Chris nodded. "Did you tell Uncle Brendan yet?"

Marissa shook her head. "I will, though."

"Yeah, because you're gonna get fat."

Marissa laughed again. "I'm going to get fat."

Chris crooked his finger, and Marissa bent down. "Are you scared?" Chris whispered.

Marissa nodded. "Yeah."

"Why? Because of Uncle Brendan?"

"No. I'm just wondering what's going to change."

"Things don't have to change."

"Yeah, yeah they do. But it could be a good change. Like when your mommy got pregnant. That was a good change."

"Do you remember when my mom was pregnant?"

Marissa nodded, standing back up. "Yeah, really well. That actually relaxes me, because it feels like I went through it just like she did."

"Was my mommy a funny pregnant woman? Like on t.v.?"

"Your mom was a _very_ funny pregnant woman. She gave me a _permanent_ headache."

"If you need anything, you'll ask me, right?"

Marissa smiled, running her fingers through Chris's hair. "Promise."

"Good. I'm gonna take care of you when Uncle Brendan can't, okay?"

"Okay."

"First, sit down. You should get off your feet."

Marissa laughed. "I don't think I have to worry about that yet. I still have to go to the doctor."

"Oh. Well, don't stay on your feet too long. That's not good for the baby."

"You're right, Dr. Roberts."

Chris grinned. "I _should_ become a doctor. That would be awesome."

Marissa nodded. "Awesome."


	28. Convince

_None of The O.C. belongs to me. I've kind of been on a writing spree, so after a few dozen failed attempts, this came out quickly._

"Good morning, sunshine." Seth set down a coffee cup on Summer's bedside table and brushed her hair out of her face.

Summer pushed herself up onto her palms, squinting. "Shit, what time is it?"

"11."

"Is Chris at school?"

"Ryan drove him."

"Really?"

Seth nodded, slipping off the side of the bed, and lowering his head in front of hers on the sheets. "How's your head?"

"Heavy."

"What were you drinking last night?"

Summer rolled over onto her butt, falling back down onto her back, and shrugged. "A lot of cheap wine."

"How's Luke?"

"He drank as much as I did, so I'd guess the same."

"No, I mean how was he?"

"Oh. Good."

"Something wrong?"

"He was just lonely."

"Oh. You should've told me; I would've gone with you."

Summer shrugged. "You were asleep, and Luke just needed to chill out. He's too into his work."

"Then it's good you went over."

"Yeah, I think he's better. He talked...a lot."

"That's good. You guys catch up?"

Summer shrugged, bending her knees. Seth turned his head sideways to look at her straight.

"Are _you_ okay?" Summer turned to her side and moved closer in.

Seth nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason. Me and Luke are just friends."

"I know."

"We talked about, like, people that work for him and Chris and how fantastic I am."

"That's all?"

"And you."

"Me?"

"He's just nervous. Thinks I'm in love with you."

"Thinks?"

"Well, he's right. But he's scared for Chris. He wants to make sure he'll get a good one."

Seth nodded. "I'm scared for him too."

"I'm not." Summer grinned, falling slightly forward to press a tiny kiss against Seth's turned lips.

He smiled faintly at her, moving forward to return the kiss. Gently, he opened her mouth with his and slowly turned her cheek to give him better access to her slightly chapped lips.

It wasn't that he was nervous about her hanging out with Luke, because he knew who she was. And when he was kissing her, he knew that she would never do anything that he had to be worried about. But when her hands came out to cup his cheeks, he knew that Luke might want to do something that would make him very worried. She was so beautiful, and she was so attentive, and she was so sweet, that no guy could really resist her. She was so...perfect. The way she tasted, and the way she smelled, and the way she smiled against his mouth was irresistible. It was that simple.

And Seth had never really trusted Luke even when he was with Marissa when she was all...sixteen-year-old Marissa.

Her fingers were tracing patterns on his neck, and he knew she was frustrated with how slow he was going. He brought his hands around her back, pulling her in farther and farther until she fell off the bed on top of him.

He marveled for a minute at how well she fit like a puzzle piece. She was still dressed in the tee shirt she had refused to change out of the night before and panties without the jeans that he had convinced her to take off or the boxer shorts he hadn't been able to convince her to put on. She moaned quietly when his hands glided up the backs of her legs, over her ass, and underneath the back of the tee shirt. She followed his hands' path of her shirt, slipping quickly over his hands and unfastening her bra, throwing it back up onto the bed.

Summer was always so careful, but anxious. Seth was content with feeling her against him until he lost control, but Summer always seemed to want him to move quickly in the beginning and hold her longer after. Ever since he had first seen her like this, Summer had never been a fan of the slow movements of his hands, and usually helped him go at a pace she liked. Not that he didn't like it too, but it always felt a little more like an innocent game to just let her lie on top of him and take charge.

After a few seconds of a lack of movement from her fingers on the backs of his hands, Seth opened his eyes to see Summer staring at him. She smiled, her eyes reflecting his face, and leaned down to kiss his collarbone. Her tongue was so warm, and the gentle weight of her body was so comforting, that Seth wondered how he could get anything done knowing he had someone like Summer to satisfy every fantasy he could think of.

Summer pushed against his chest until she was supported above him. She then slipped open the buttons of his button down, and Seth somehow forgot that he needed to wear a shirt if he was planning on getting into any of his afternoon classes. But his mind was currently empty except for the pressure on his stomach from Summer's midriff. Her leg slipped when she lowered herself back down, causing him to gasp rather loudly. Summer covered his mouth quickly, either because she was worried about someone overhearing breaths that could easily escalate into moans, or she wanted to keep the hot tingles shooting through Seth's skin.

Summer was way too focused on the rhythm of her tongue to pay much attention to the fumblings of her hands. Somehow, though, she was able to unfasten his belt and jeans, plunging the hand on his chest farther down, brushing for a second on his belly-button and immersing into his boxers.

And soon as she barely touched him, Seth put his hand on Summer's wrist, tugging quickly on her hand. She looked at him confused, but he just closed his eyes and kissed her. Honestly, he knew that if she was determined to touch him first, he wouldn't last long at all.

Seth was hot. It was November, but he was sweating tiny beads over his entire upper body. Summer giggled at his murmuring of how amazing she was, although that was possibly due to the fact that his breath was as hot in her ear as his chest was against hers.

Seth was in fact so focused on how amazing she really was, that he didn't hear the door open.

"Dude, wow. Flashback. Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt, but Kirsten just...you know what? When you guys are dressed would be a...a better time. So…later." Ryan dropped the hand from his eyes and closed the door to the pool house.

Seth looked for a second at Summer, pausing to see what she wanted to do. Summer looked from his face to the closed door and burst out laughing, abruptly stopping.

"Dammit, my head still hurts."

Chris sat on the bleachers, a book in his hand. It was getting colder by the minute, and he had to wear the sweatshirt that Uncle Ryan made him bring.

"Hey Chris! What are you doing?" Mike Murphy climbed to the top of the bleachers without using his hands once.

"Nothing. Just reading."

"What are you reading?"

Chris held up the cover of Goblins in the Castle, and brought it back down to his eyes.

Chris's homeroom teacher came over to the two of them, her hands on her hips. "Mr. Murphy? Mr. Roberts? Why aren't you playing kickball with the other boys?"

"Chris is reading."

"And what are you doing, Mr. Murphy?"

"Just watching him is all. No rule against that, right, Ms. Kristen?"

Her eyes narrowed, her lips spewing out, "It's Ms. McNaught to you, Mr. Murphy," and she walked away, Mike bursting into laughter. "She's so dumb. Hey, Chris? Is it true that you don't have a dad?"

Chris looked up again, shrugging, and obviously covering his face with his book.

"Did you ever have a dad? Or were you just born a bastard?"

Chris shot his eyes back up, trying to keep them from stinging. "I have a dad."

"But my mom says he doesn't _live_ with you. Probably because he doesn't like you."

"What do you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you talking to me again?"

Mike just grinned, shrugging himself. "I feel bad for boys whose daddy's don't love them."

"My dad loves me just fine."

"Not enough to live with you. My mom says it's tragic. Your mom got pegnant when she didn't want to have a baby. And your dad didn't want it either. It's a sad story."

"My mom wants me."

"She didn't."

"She does now."

"But no one loves your mom but you."

"My dad loves my mom."

"No he doesn't. They're not married."

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does."

"Shut up."

"Ooh, little Chrissy shouldn't say that."

"Shut up anyways."

"Dumb Chrissy who no one loves and his ugly mother that no one loves either."

"Shut your mouth, asshole."

"What did you call me?" Mike's second grade smirk taunted Chris's eyes. Chris tried to darken them like Uncle Ryan did when he got mad at someone.

"I called you an asshole."

"Bastard!"

"Bitch!"

"Shitface!"

"Motherfucker!"

"Boys!" Ms. McNaught came back out. "What do you think you're doing? This is recess, and not a time to use words like that! Get down from there right this moment!"

Chris glared at Mike, stomping down the bleachers two at a time, tripping when he was two from the end. His lip split and Chris's teeth started trembling.

"Come with me, Mr. Roberts. Mr. Murphy! You stay still until Mr. Thompson comes out to get you."

Ms. McNaught roughly grabbed Chris's hand, pulling him into the school.

"I'm going to have to call your parents, Mr. Roberts. Mr. Murphy's too."

"You can't."

"And why not?"

"Because my dad's on his way to France, and Mom's bent over."

"Bent over?"

"She was really drunk yesterday, and she's got to sleep, because she has a headache."

Ms. McNaught's eyes narrowed into slits. "You mean hung over. And your grandparents will have to get you."

She dialed the Cohens' number, listening to two rings until Seth picked up the phone.

"H'lo?"

"Hello, this is Ms. McNaught, Seth Christopher's teacher, is Ms. Roberts available?"

"Uh, she's not feeling well right now. Is something wrong?"

"Are you Mr. Ward?"

"Uh, no. I'm...uh...the boyfriend. Is Chris okay?"

"He got in a fight with another one of the boys. You're going to have to..."

"Chris got into a fight? You gotta be joking."

"No, I'm not. You are going to have to get Ms. Roberts or Mr. Ward down here to bring him home."

"Um, yeah. Okay. I'll be right down."

"You'll have to..." But Ms. McNaught was met by a dial tone.

Chris looked up at her with his arms crossed and his eyes stubborn.

He sat perfectly still for ten minutes by the time Seth came bursting through the doors.

"Where's Chris?" His eyebrows furrowed, his vision settling on Chris and going straight to his split lip, his feet not moving fast enough.

"Excuse me, sir, I've met Mr. Ward and you're certainly not Miss Roberts."

"They weren't available. Chris, are you okay?"

"Are you a relative?"

Seth stood up slightly, shifting his weight. "Seth Cohen. I'm Summer's boyfriend."

"But you're not a relative. I cannot release him to you."

Seth sighed, letting half his mouth curl. "Ma'am, as you can see, Chris got hurt under your watch, and you agree with me that he has to be taken home. I'm here; I have a car and a license; I know where he lives, because it used to be where I live. So we'll be going."

"If you're not a guardian, I cannot allow him to leave the premises with you without approval from one of his parents."

Chris groaned, lisping through his swollen lip. "I know him. My mom would let me go with him, so can we just go?"

"I would have to call Miss Roberts."

Seth shook his head. "I'm not going to let you wake her up for something this goddamn _ridiculous_. Come on, Chris." Seth took Chris's hand and started to leave the room.

"Mr. Cohen! If you leave this room, I'm going to have to call the police."

Seth spun around, a confused look on his face. "Why?"

"Because you would have to be reprimanded for abducting that child."

"I'm not abducting him; I'm bringing him to his mother."

"If you are not his guardian, I cannot be sure of that without his mother's permission."

Seth groaned almost congruently to Chris's groan, waving his hand. "Shit. Fine. Call her."

Summer sat on the staircase, still in her tee shirt but with a pair of sweatpants, her head in her hands. As soon as the front door opened, she sprang up, ignoring the jolts of pain in her forehead.

"What did you do?" She held Chris's cheeks in her hands, wiping off a smudge of gravel from his face.

Chris shrugged, but his lip came free a second later. He grabbed Summer's shoulders, burying his face in her chest.

Summer looked up to Seth's eyes, but he just shrugged. She felt the warmth of Chris's tears through her tee shirt.

"Chris? What happened?"

"I didn't even do anything!" His words came out in spurts, spat against Summer's neck.

"Baby, what happened?"

"Stupid, stupid, stupid. I didn't do anything."

"Ms. McNaught said you were cursing at Mikey Murphy. You boys were friends."

"He wanted me to!"

"She said you two were having a fight."

"I didn't do anything."

"Did you curse at him?"

"Yeah, but he did it too."

"Chris..."

"He was making fun of you," Chris mumbled, pulling out of her arms, and choosing to sit against the doorframe next to Seth instead.

"And what happened to your lip?" Summer stood up to her full height crossing her arms.

"I just tripped."

"What did Mikey say to make you mad?"

"He was laughing too much."

"What did he say?"

"He said you didn't want me when you got p_r_egnant. He's so dumb; he doesn't even know how to talk."

"You still shouldn't be using those words with anyone."

"You sound like Ms. McNaught." Chris turned his face.

Summer exhaled, closing her eyes. When she opened them again, she shifted towards Seth. "And what did you do? Mrs. McNaught says you were 'giving her lip.'"

Seth shook his head, rolling his eyes. "She wouldn't let me _take him home_? I was just going to take him home."

"It's procedure. If you're not a guardian..."

"Yeah, I heard it." Seth closed the door and sat down against it.

Summer shook her head, sighing. "I'll have to call Mrs. McNaught if neither of you are going to tell me anything."

When neither started to say anything, Summer groaned. "Fine." She picked up the phone and walked into the kitchen.

Ryan walked down the staircase, raising an eyebrow at Seth and Chris sitting against the wall. "Whatever you guys did, you better apologize."

The door behind Seth opened, Jenn seeing Ryan and replacing her facial expression with a glare and sat next to Seth on his other side. Seth looked from Jenn to Ryan and shook his head. "Hey, Ryan, whatever you did, you better apologize."

"Leave it alone, Seth. Jenn's just being stubborn."

"Someone _has_ to care, _Daddy_."

"Doesn't mean you can't _talk_ to her, _Jennifer__Dawn_."

"She doesn't deserve it."

Seth opened his mouth, but Ryan just stomped off. He turned to Jenn instead. "What's up with you guys? Who's 'she'?"

"Theresa."

"_The_ Theresa? Like your mother Theresa?"

Jenn snorted at Seth's grin, but shook her head. "She isn't my mother."

"You might not think she acts like your mother, but you're still bound by blood."

"Blood doesn't matter."

"She's right." Chris piped up on Seth's other side. Seth turned his head to him.

"So what did happen, little man?"

"Mike just said I didn't have a dad that loved me. And he called me a bastard again."

"I thought you guys were friends."

Chris shrugged. "He's stupid."

"And you know he isn't right about your dad. He loves you a lot."

Chris nodded. "I know. He was kind of right too, though. My dad loves me, and he loves my mom, but he doesn't care enough to live with us. Like Jenn said, he's not a real dad."

"You know you have me, Chris."

Chris gave a half hearted smile but shrugged. "But you're not even allowed to take me home."

Marissa sat on the kitchen counter alone, sipping a glass of water. She was staring at the wine bottles and having one of her first cravings in five years. She didn't like drinking much anymore, but waiting for her husband to come home to see his reaction to her pregnancy did weird things to a person.

Brendan came in a few minutes later, kissing her quickly on the cheek. "I'm so sorry I'm late, hon. The meeting bled over."

"It's okay."

"You look nice." He smiled at her dark skirt and white wifebeater, taking off his shoes.

"Thanks. Um, can we talk?"

"About what?" Brendan took off his jacket and walked over to hall closet to hang it up.

"Me?"

"Is something wrong?"

"No. Well, I don't think so."

"Marissa, do you have something to say?"

"Yes."

"Then say it." He smiled and walked back over to her, settling himself in between her two legs.

"I..." Marissa started, but was cut short by Brendan pouring a glass of wine.

"Yes?"

"Can you put that away?" Marissa nodded toward the wine bottle, her voice almost desperate.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"What's wrong is that that bottle is still open."

Brendan furrowed his brow. "Since when you do you have a problem with wine? I mean, I know you never had a real taste for it, but..."

"I did have a taste for it."

"Well, not when you were with me."

"I had such a taste for it that I used to black out on driveways."

"Marissa..."

"You never knew. You probably forgot about the time I told you I almost killed myself in Mexico. Do you care?"

"Of course I care, Marissa. But what brought this on?"

"We've been married for years, I'm having your baby, and you don't even know me."

"You're...you're having what?"

"I'm pregnant. Just thought you might want to know." Marissa hopped off the counter and ran towards the stairs.

Summer fell backwards onto her bed, clicking the phone off. Her baby wasn't supposed to get into fights with curse words. He wasn't even supposed to know words like that. It was mostly her fault anyways. She shouldn't curse around him, but he'd always just laughed when she got mad. And usually she didn't get worse than 'goddamn.' Sometimes.

Seth walked slowly into the pool house, sitting on the floor next to her bed.

"You shouldn't have gotten mad at his teacher."

"I know."

"You shouldn't have cursed at her too. Didn't exactly help Chris's situation."

"I know. I just...didn't like what she was saying."

"It makes sense though. At least it means some random dude can't just take Chris out of school."

"I'm not a random dude, though."

"I know, but now you know that some guy who is a random dude won't take him out."

"I shouldn't be a random dude."

"Seth, you know I'm not saying..."

"I don't want to be a random dude."

"You're not. It's just…"

"No, I am. But I shouldn't be."

"Seth…"

"Not anymore. Look, Summer, I love you. I love you and I love Chris. And I'm not just…you know, in this for fun. I mean, you two mean everything to me and…and I should do something to prove it."

"Seth? What do you mean?" Summer sat up to look at the back of his head.

"I mean we should get married."

"What?"

"We should get married."

"Oh my god, did you just…"

"Summer." Seth turned around, raising one of his knees off the ground. "Will you marry me?"

"I…are you sure? I mean, you don't have…"

"I want to. Will you marry me?"

"I…well, yeah, I mean. Of course. Yes. Yes."

Seth smiled, his knee falling back down. He opened his arms and Summer fell down off the bed into them.

"Oh my god!" Summer giggled, Seth's arms tightening around her back. "Seth!"

Seth buried his face into her neck, and his back started to hurt from being pressed against the floor.

Summer sat up, her legs straddling his waist, and she giggled again. "But you're seriously serious? Like, you're not kidding? You really want to get married? To me."

"More than anything."

"I love you. So, so, so, so, so much. Oh my god, Seth."

"I love you too. So, so, so, so, so, so much." He smiled, and Summer giggled one more time. They lay still for a while, but Summer couldn't help herself.

"Oh my god, I have to call Marissa."

Summer climbed off of Seth's legs and grabbed the abandoned phone on the bed. She fell back onto her back, crossing her legs in the air.

"Hey, Mariss? Oh, hi, Brendan, it's Summer. Is Marissa there? Yeah. All right, bye…Riss? Oh my god, _this_ is what you _should_ do when you have good news. You should _call_ me. Oh I have _more_ than good news, _this_ is _great_ news…"


	29. Attempt

_I am so sorry this took so long. I have my eye on Undeniable too, so don't give up hope. However, for this one, my baby, the end is near...but I think this story's had a great run. Probably one more, so I'll save my grand speech for the last chapter. Once again, italics are flashbacks. Stars indicate the end of one. Nothing here is mine. Except Brendan. And Jenn. And Chris. And most of Mrs. Cabala. But besides that, nothing._

_--------------------_

_Summer smiled. It wasn't a comfortable smile, but it was there. Marissa smiled, a little more secure, and looked back into the mirror._

_"You look beautiful, Coop." Summer said shakily, and Marissa laughed._

_"Sum, you don't have to worry. It's Brendan. He's a good one."_

_"I know. And...he makes you happy, but...but why aren't you nervous, Coop?"_

_Marissa shrugged, her hair gliding against her bare back and the string of small pearls lying against her neck. She stared at the mirror, wondering herself why she wasn't nervous._

_Summer had started pacing, nearly tripping on her pale peach floor length. "This is just...the end of an era, you know?"_

_"I know."_

_"And you're not...scared? Of change?"_

_"Well, yeah, I guess. But I have to do it. I can't run now."_

_"Technically..."_

_"I'd be hunted down by a few hundred people."_

_"I'd fight them off."_

_"Sum, do you not want this to happen?"_

_"No. I do. You're going to be so happy, and you're going to make him the happiest man in the entire world. And it shouldn't even matter what I want or...any of that. Because this is your day."_

_"It's going to happen for you too, Sum."_

_"Yeah, well, I don't know."_

_"And if it comes to it, you know Luke would marry you without batting an eyelash."_

_"Don't say that, Coop."_

_"You know it's true, though."_

_"Doesn't mean we have to say it. But this is your day. Why are we talking about Luke?"_

_"Where's my nephew?"_

_Summer smiled and untwined her hands. "He's with Kirsten. You should see her with him, it's just so...I don't know, good for both of them. She just lights up, and he starts laughing. It's like they have this amazing, hilarious private joke as soon as she touches him."_

_"She misses him."_

_Summer looked back down, her hands coming up to her head. "Happy day. It's a happy one. We shouldn't be talking about..."_

_"Summer, there are no rules as to what we can and cannot do on my wedding day. And if there were, I would be the one to make them."_

_"I just wonder what it would be like if he was here. That's all. He'd probably be crying; he's like that."_

_"So are you." Marissa giggled, sitting down on the floor next to Summer._

_"Coop! What are you doing? You'll get your dress dirty."_

_"You know, tomorrow, you won't be able to call me Coop."_

_Summer giggled too. "That's right. You'll be Mrs. Brendan Harren. I'll have to call you Hair."_

_Marissa laughed. "That might get confusing."_

_"I'll have to come up with something else."_

_"Yeah. What time is it?"_

_Summer shook her head. "Marissa, they're not going to start without you."_

_"I know. I just want to know when we can get this over with."_

_Summer raised an eyebrow. "A rush of nervousness? Cold feet? Because I can..."_

_"I'm fine, Summer, I just don't want to keep people waiting. Where's my veil?"_

_Summer pulled Marissa up, grabbed a tiara and placed it over her face, smoothing the creases in the gauze._

_"You look so beautiful." Summer bit her lip, smiling with the other side._

_"You said that already."_

_"And I'm going to say it again. You're beautiful."_

_Marissa smiled. "God, Sum, don't do that."_

_Summer giggled again, wiping her cheek and Marissa's. "Don't cry. You have to take pictures later."_

_A string quartet started playing, and Summer wiped her cheeks furiously. "I have to go, Coop. I'll see you soon." She grinned and grabbed her bouquet of white roses. She walked towards the doorway and turned back. "Hey, Marissa."_

_Marissa looked up from the white invitation on the counter._

_"You're getting married."_

_Marissa smiled. "I can't believe I'm old enough to do this."_

_Summer giggled one last time and walked out the doorway of light peach and blue roses. Everyone on either side of the aisle was staring at her as Summer held the arm of Brendan's brother. Kirsten, Ryan, and Sandy were in the second row, Kirsten with Seth Christopher on her lap, Ryan with his own three year old in his lap. Ryan raised his eyebrows, but was seeming to slip back easily into his first Newport event since Theresa's mother had announced her daughter's departure, and Summer nodded. Matthew Harren bowed as she walked to the left of the altar._

_Summer sighed, her white gloves feeling sticky over her skin. She stood next to Kaitlyn who was barely moving, but found enough energy to smile at Summer. Next to her were Hailey and one of Brendan's sisters. She watched the doorway, wondering how she could get through a long service when it felt like something, or someone, was missing._

_Luke winked at her from the sixth row, his parents and step parents next to him. She smiled back and looked to the moving lace, revealing Marissa and Jimmy, both beaming at each other. The music had increased in volume, and everyone was standing up. Summer watched Marissa come nearer, Jimmy crying, but Marissa's cheeks dry again. Brendan had his fingers crossed behind his back, but the grin on his face was growing by the second._

_Jimmy lifted the veil Summer had rested over Marissa's face, and he kissed her._

_"Who gives this woman to this man?"_

_Julie stood up from the first row and stood next to Jimmy. "We do."_

_"You may be seated."_

_The priest looked like he was performing a funeral. Summer decided if she ever did get the chance, she'd have a friend perform the service. Marissa didn't seem to notice any of it, though. She still wasn't able to lose the smile or release a tear. Brendan wasn't as lucky with keeping up his masculinity._

_But when Summer looked at both of them, they were both smiling through tears and adoration. They were happy. The kind of happy people get jealous over. This is what a wedding is supposed to be like, Summer decided. It didn't matter that Marissa couldn't believe her mother had the nerve to show up, the priest looked like he was about to die, or that Marissa had two of her ex boyfriends in the room. It was perfect._

_--------------------_

_"Happy birthday, dear Jenn.__ Happy birthday to you."_

_Jenn grinned and leaned over the white cake, blowing out the candles. Ryan's arm was around her waist to make sure she didn't fall in, but he was laughing with the rest of them. Her friends clapped, and Ryan pulled her against him._

_"I love you, sweetie."_

_"I love you too, Daddy."_

_"What'd you wish for, babe?" Summer asked as she cut the cake._

_"I can't tell you, Aunt Summer. Then, it won't come true."_

_Summer grinned and handed Jenn a slice. "Are you excited about being six?"_

_Jenn nodded as she licked her ring finger. Ryan leaned down and got her middle finger before she did. Jenn giggled._

_"Dad! I was going to eat that."_

_"Oops." He grinned back at her._

_"Okay, okay. I think a certain six year old might be ready for her presents." Sandy placed down a huge pile of neatly wrapped gifts by Jenn's feet as her eyes lit up._

_"Ooh, Daddy, can I?" Jenn asked as she picked one up._

_Ryan nodded as Jenn tore open the paper. She held the dark blue box in her hand, looking up at him._

_"You got me something expensive, Dad."_

_He shrugged. "Open it."_

_Jenn sighed as she popped open the box. Ryan searched her eyes for something._

_"Dad...how much did this cost?"_

_"Do you like it?"_

_"Dad, you shouldn't have bought it."_

_"Do you like it?"_

_Jenn sighed again at the sparkling, silver necklace. "Yeah, I like it."_

_"Good. It's almost as pretty as you."_

_"Daddy..."_

_"Don't worry, honey. Put it on."_

_Jenn smiled, letting her arm drape over his neck. "Would you?"_

_Ryan smiled back at her and flipped her hair over her face. He clasped the back of the necklace and traced the small angel around the chain to the center of her neck._

_--------------------_

_Seth woke up to a mess of too blonde hair and groaned. This wasn't what he had planned. Not that he had been planning anything anymore, and he welcomed things to 'just happen,' but this was one thing that wasn't supposed to happen no matter the new set of rules he lived by. This was bad._

_"Mmm...good morning." The blonde hair turned revealing a sleepy smile and fluttering eyes._

_"Good morning."_

_Brittany smiled. "I'm going to take a shower."_

_"Okay."_

_She stood up, carrying the sheet around her, letting it drop right before she walked into the bathroom. Seth stood up and looked outside. White and pink roses were scattered around the pavement, workmen attaching them to a huge wooden arch. Brittany loved pink, but her favorite color was blue. But 'blue roses look so...strange.' This was bad._

_"Hi, Seth, how are you doing?" A woman with equally as fake blonde hair smiled as she walked towards him._

_"I'm good, Mrs. Ronso."_

_The man at the truck behind her shut the trunk and grinned. "You're treating my girl well, son?"_

_"Yes, sir."_

_"Now, Seth," Mrs. Ronso took his arm and walked him toward the arch. "Brittany told me your parents weren't going to be able to be here. Now, I can understand if your relationship with them isn't the best, but I'd still like to meet the two of them. There are two, yes?"_

_"Yes, ma'am."_

_"What is this ma'am? We're family. Is there a reason they won't be here?"_

_"We've kind of...well, we went our separate ways."_

_"A falling out." Mr. Ronso nodded. "You know what those are like, Tracy."_

_"Yes, yes, Paul, but they are your family, Seth. Happy occasions are good times to patch old wounds."_

_"I haven't seen them in a while, Mrs. Ronso. I don't think they'd...well, I haven't talked to them for eight years."_

_"There's no time like the present, son. I'm sure they'd love to be here."_

_Seth opened his mouth, but Brittany came out in her white bathrobe with her smile interrupting him._

_"Mom." She kissed her cheek. "You're not harassing him again, are you?"_

_"No, sweetie. Seth, it's good to see you as always. And remember, if you need my help with anything, or anyone, I will. I'd love to help."_

_"Yes, ma'am."_

_She let go of his arm, and Brittany started giggling._

_"God, I swear, Seth. She means well." Brittany took his hand and walked him down toward the ocean. She was always walking him places, like a dog._

_"Are you scared?" Seth's head snapped when he heard her voice again._

_"Scared? Of what?"_

_"This. It's coming soon, you know."_

_"I know."_

_"Are you nervous? You can tell me."_

_Seth shrugged, kicking a wave. "I guess. I should be, though, right?"_

_She nodded, holding tighter onto his hand. "And...you're sure you don't want anyone there? Not a...friend from high school, a sister?"_

_"I don't have any sisters."_

_"But you have a brother, right?"_

_"Well, yeah, but..."_

_"You miss him, right?"_

_"It's hard. He has this new life, anyway; I wouldn't want to bother him."_

_"I doubt inviting him to your wedding would be considered bothering him."_

_"It's not that easy. He'd ask questions."_

_"But he'd be here for you."_

_"I...it's okay."_

_"You sure, baby? I can understand if you don't want your parents there..." She glanced slightly at her own parents. "but there's really no one?"_

_"No, B, it's fine."_

_She sighed and kept walking. "Don't say I didn't ask."_

_--------------------_

"Don't you think light blue table cloths work better than the white ones? They're so...fresh, so different. Ms. Roberts? Ms. Roberts."

"Summer?" Kirsten's hand was on her knee when Summer shook her head.

"What?"

"Tablecloths, my dear. Light blue would be very eye catching." Miss Martini said, the drollness back in her voice.

"Light blue? Yeah, that would...yeah, that'd be good. It would match the bridesmaid dresses."

"Oh really? Excellent. What about flowers?"

"Mostly dark purple. Irises, lilies, hydrangeas, and then white roses." Summer spoke evenly as she turned her head over her shoulder.

"Summer? Are you looking for something?" Kirsten tapped her knee.

"Um, yeah, could you ladies hang on just a second?" Summer smiled, smoothed her jeans over her legs, and excused herself.

Seth was sitting by the pool, his cell phone attached to his ear. As she came closer, he raised his eyebrows and nodded. Summer breathed in and sat next to him, watching his eyes change.

"Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yes, sir. I'll be right there." Seth hung up the phone and lost his fake smile.

"So are you going to go?" Summer threaded her arm over his, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"That's what 'Mr. Neil Roberts' thinks. Secretly, I'm headed to Reno so I can get my Elvis suit."

"I can't believe he called."

Seth shrugged, his chin bouncing off the top of her head, and tightened his arm against her.

Summer lowered her voice, nearly closing her eyes. "She's coming too?"

"Yeah."

"Because she cares a lot about what happens to me."

"That and the free food."

Summer giggled. "God, I hope she got fat."

Seth laughed at her seriousness in the statement. "Well you can always hope. Her kind of fat would probably mean you would have a darling little half brother or sister."

Summer shuddered. "With Lara blood. Aw, poor kid."

He nodded. "I should go, though. Wouldn't really be that good if I was late."

Summer lifted her shoulder. "I love you."

Seth kissed the top of her head, and said into her hair, "I love you too."

He smiled into her forehead, steadying himself on her shoulders as he stood. Summer watched him touch her chin with his finger and walk very slowly towards his car. She giggled at his eyebrow rise as Kirsten and Miss Martini walked up to her.

"Shall we continue, Ms. Roberts? Now that the boy has gone?" Miss Martini was turning through an amazingly thick stack of magazines.

Summer smiled silently, noticing Kirsten was doing the same. Miss Martini didn't really have a taste for Seth after his theory on why _she_ wasn't married. "Yeah. Yes, what's next?"

"Your dress, gorgeous. It has to be perfection, for you _know_ it's all everyone will be talking of."

"Um...make it...simple?"

Miss Martini obviously didn't approve, in fact, she just disregarded it altogether.

"I had my eye on this Versace. Obviously when you think wedding dresses, you _think_ Vera Wang, but I absolutely adore the Versace, and I think it would compliment your body type perfectly."

She handed Summer the thickest magazine showing a nearly backless white gown. The front shot showed a satin front swirling up into a thick halter. Summer lowered her shoulder to show it to Kirsten as both women shook their heads.

"Ms. Martini, don't you think it looks a bit more like...not a wedding dress?" Kirsten asked, her brow furrowed.

"I think it's just the right thing to get the people here talking, but if that's not what you're going for," she eyed her nails, obviously oblivious as to why anyone wouldn't want to use a wedding dress as debate topic, "I guess we could try the Badgley Mischka."

Half of Summer's mouth curled as the woman, or The Spinster as Seth called her, handed her another magazine.

"Hey, Mom." Chris walked out of the pool house, strolling towards the house. Summer's face lit up.

"Honey! Do you need some help? Sorry, Miss Martini, my son...I'm coming, babe!"

Summer placed the magazines on top of Miss Martini's pile and hurried in after Chris.

"Mom?" Chris called out behind him as he walked into the kitchen. "I don't need help to pour a glass of water."

"I needed help."

"I don't get it. You like making weddings."

"It's weird having someone telling me how to do it."

"Then why don't you do it yourself?"

Summer shrugged. "That would be weirder."

"But it's not going well with The Spinster."

"Honey, don't say that. You don't even know what it means."

"Yes, I do. It means The Old Lady That No Man or Woman Would Ever Want to Date and Few Would Even Want to Look At. Seth told me."

"Well, Seth might get in trouble too."

Chris snorted and opened the refrigerator. "When's she going, anyway?"

Summer sighed. "Sooner rather than later."

"I hope so."

"Why do you care? When does she ever talk to you?"

Chris shrugged. "She talked to me once. I don't like her. Neither does Seth. He said she doesn't like him either. What kind of lady comes in and doesn't like people?"

"Maybe she doesn't like Seth, _because_ Seth doesn't like her."

"I guess. But he doesn't like her for good reason."

"Oh, and what's that?"

"She's mean," Chris said matter-of-factly, gulping down his glass.

"Hey Chris?"

"Yeah."

"You know, you don't have to not like someone just because Seth doesn't."

"I...don't." Chris's cheeks turned pink, and he poured another glass of water.

"I know. I'm just saying. And Miss Martini will be gone soon, so you don't have to worry about it."

Chris nodded and started to walk out of the room.

"Hey, baby?"

He spun around, and Summer gestured for him to come closer. She wrapped her arms around his hips and pulled him next to her.

"You happy, baby?"

Chris smiled with half his mouth and nodded. Summer kissed him and smiled.

"Me too."

"I know." He grinned, resting his forehead against hers. "Mom?"

"Mmm?"

"Do you think this is going to stay?"

"This what?"

Chris shrugged, his head bumping against hers. "Both of us being happy."

Summer giggled and nodded. "I think so."

"Good." Chris kissed his mother's forehead and walked upstairs. At the top, he nearly fell backwards as Ryan walked down.

"Oh shit..." Ryan caught him, though, his strong hand on Chris's back.

"Hey. You okay?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that."

"No, it was my..." Ryan's head turned as the bathroom door opened but slammed shut.

"Jenn's still not talking to you?" Chris asked.

"It's stupid." Ryan shook his head, leaving ideas of going downstairs and just sitting on the top step. Chris sat down next to him.

Ryan craned his neck to watch the bathroom door as he spoke. "Chris? If someone important to who you are wanted to meet you, just see you, you'd see them, right? It wouldn't hurt you."

"I don't know, Uncle Ryan. Jenn's mom hurt you bad. She knows that." Chris nodded to the bathroom door.

"But she just wants to see her. I can understand that. I mean, you can't, and Jenn can't, but Luke can. And Kirsten can. She wants to see what happened to someone she _made_. And Jenn won't even talk to her on the phone. Doesn't that seem a little too harsh to you?"

Chris shrugged. "I'm not Jenn. She'd do anything to protect you."

Ryan laughed hollowly, letting his head fall into his hands. "I don't know what I'm going to tell Theresa."

"Then, don't call her."

"It's not that easy."

"Yeah, it is. You don't want to talk to her, so avoid her. My mom does it all the time."

"But Chris, I want Jenn to talk to her."

"Why?"

"Because she needs a mother."

"She has you."

"But I'm not enough, Chris. She needs more."

"She doesn't think so. She thinks you're so enough that she wants to fight to stay away from her mom."

"I still can't do everything for her."

"Uncle Ryan, look at this _house_. The women are _everywhere_. She has my mom, Grandma, Aunt Marissa. You know they wouldn't be like '_no_, Jenn, I won't tell you'...woman things."

Ryan smiled, lifting his head to look at Chris smiling happily to himself. Ryan laughed and wrapped his arm around Chris's shoulder.

"You're a good man, Chris."

"I try." Chris leaned his elbow on Ryan's nearest shoulder.

"I love you, you know that?"

Chris nodded into the crook of his own elbow. Ryan squeezed him tighter for a second and let him go, ruffling his hair, as Ryan made his second attempt at going downstairs.

Chris looked around for a second, then walked up to the bathroom door, and, finding it unlocked, opened it and sat on the counter. Jenn was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, looking down again when she saw it was Chris.

"Hey, Chris."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm scared."

"About what?"

"My dad. I think something's wrong with him."

"Jenn, just because he doesn't think the same like you doesn't mean something's..."

"I think he's lonely."

"Why?"

"Because he wants so bad to have these people who abandoned him...it's like he just wants someone." Jenn looked up, slipping off the side onto the carpet by Chris's feet.

"But how could he be lonely? There are so many people here."

Jenn shrugged. "I don't know. I don't want him to be talking to her, though."

"Jenn, isn't it possible that she just made a mistake?"

"It's a hell of a big mistake."

Chris looked hard at her cheek as a tear rolled down. He hopped off the counter and sat next to her with their backs against the wall. He awkwardly put his arm around her shoulder and sat still.


	30. Appropriate Delight

Summer stared at her shoulder, fascinated by the contrast of her finally darkened, but still slightly pink arm, and the perfectly white satin arm of the dress. She smoothed her skirt and stared into her reflection, running a hand through her unbrushed hair. She bit her lip and heard a knock at the door.

"Just a second."

"Aunt Summer?"

Summer picked up her skirts and opened the door a slit. Jenn stood on the other side, her arms crossed underneath her chest, and her weight shifted to the side.

"Is something wrong?"

"Can I come in?"

Summer looked down at the thick white dress around her around Jenn to the empty hall, and nodded. She extended the door, making Jenn gasp.

"Wow."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You're so pretty."

Summer ushered Jenn further in and closed the door. She glanced at the mirror again.

"So could you unzip me?" Summer bent down and felt Jenn's warm fingers at the base of her neck. "What's up?"

"My dad's bringing her. To the wedding tomorrow."

"I know."

"He doesn't care what I think at _all_. I don't want to see her but he's bringing her anyway. I wouldn't go if it wasn't for you and Uncle Seth."

"Well thank you for coming anyways."

"I'm a bridesmaid. I have to."

"And here I was thinking it was because you loved me."

"I do." Jenn kissed Summer cheek as Summer let the dress fall to her ankles. Stepping out of it, she pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a big tee shirt. Jenn tried to look away, but looked at Summer's woman body in between clothes anyway. Once she was dressed, Summer hung up her dress and picked Jenn up, swinging her onto her lap.

"I've met her."

"Did you like her?"

"I didn't know her that well."

"But you didn't like her, because you knew she was ruining my dad's life."

"But she _created_ you, Jennifer. And no matter what you might think, I know she loved you."

"But she left. She left me and she left my dad. How could she leave him? She loved him enough to have a baby with him, and she left anyway."

"Some people have their priorities off, honey."

"I just can't forgive her for something like this."

Jenn turned away from Summer's eyes, leaning her head gently back into the crook of Summer's neck.

"Jenn, did I ever tell you about my mother?"

"You mean Evil Lara?"

"No. My real mother."

Summer felt her shake her head, and wrapped her arms closer around her stomach. "When I was eleven, not that much older than you, she and my dad fought constantly. And I loved her. So much. I didn't like my dad that much, because he was always working and that Christmas he hadn't gotten me the c.d. I wanted. But me and my mother were inseparable. She took me to concerts, and movies, and museums, and these poetry readings in parks past my bedtime. She told me she loved me every single night and would kiss me right in the middle of my forehead, then on my cheeks, then on my mouth twice."

"Just like you do to Chris."

Summer nodded. "Then, one day, she left. I woke up and she wasn't there anymore. My dad came running into my room, and asked me if I had seen her, and then when I told him no, he fell against my closet so hard it broke. Have you ever seen your dad cry, Jenn?"

She nodded.

"What did you think?"

"That he could do anything. But he couldn't. And I didn't want to believe it. I thought he looked like someone else."

"My dad sobbed in front of me. And I didn't know what to do, because I didn't know what was going on. He told me a few hours later, and when I asked him if it was my fault, he didn't say anything. So I thought it was. I thought she hadn't loved me, and I had just held her back, and that maybe my dad chased her away. But you know what?"

Jenn shrugged.

"She made a mistake. She couldn't handle the situation, because it wasn't healthy for her. And it took me six returned letters to realize that she wasn't coming back. And I hated it. Every Christmas I would wait for her by the window, and she never came back. And I was mad. Because she abandoned me. I could understand why she had abandoned my father, because I hated him for over a year. But I would've given anything to have her come back and bring me away with her. I'd write poems about where we'd go and what we'd see. But every letter and postcard I tried to send her was returned. And slowly, I became close with my dad instead."

"How's that supposed to make me feel better, Aunt Summer?"

"Yours came back, Jenny. Your mother came back for you. She isn't going to take you away, but she came back to see you. You didn't even have to do anything to make her realize where she belonged, because I bet she thought about coming back every single day. I bet she wanted to see you most of all. And even if she did put your dad though pain, I bet she thought about him too. And she hoped and hoped that he raised you right."

"I'm not going to love her."

"It's up to you."

Jenn let her head fall to her chest, shivering slightly as Summer's hands came around, tapping unrecognizable rhythms on the backs of her own hands.

Ryan sat cross legged on Seth's bed in his apartment, staring at Seth sleeping on the floor. Ryan had said he had no problem with sleeping on the floor, but Seth said he was getting married, so he may as well get used to it. Ryan's knee was bouncing against the soft fabric of the blanket, his eyes locked on the back of Seth's head.

"Ryan, dude, are you _still_ looking at me?" Seth mumbled.

"Aren't you nervous? At all?" Ryan whispered.

"I am. That you're gay and in my bed." Seth spun around and whispered back.

"But you're getting _married_. To _Summer_. How can that not make you nervous?"

"Exactly."

"What do you mean?"

Seth mumbled something into his pillow, and Ryan craned his neck to listen.

"What was that?"

"Like you said. It's Summer. How could that make me nervous? _Summer_/"

Ryan thought about it for a second and smiled. "This is going to be good."

"Here's to it. Good night." He rolled back over, pulling the sheet higher up over his head.

"Wait, Seth."

He grunted.

"You don't want to talk? I mean, you said you didn't want a bachelor party, so we never really got a chance to... you know?"

"Ryan... do we have to talk now?"

"Why not now?"

"Because I don't want to take wedding photos with bags under my eyes." Seth closed his eyes and rolled back over. He started to breathe deeply, but his eyes snapped back open at a heavy sigh. He glared and turned back around to see Ryan grinning.

"What?"

Ryan rested his head on his hand. "I'm gonna miss this."

"Don't start, dude."

"No, seriously. You're always keeping me up; it's nice to have it the other way around. But how many times are we going to have alone like this? Like the sleepovers and all of that. You guys will move and then you'll have the little lady to take care of."

"Ryan, it's not like we're frat brothers. We have the same _blood_... well, I mean, we grew up in... uh, _legally_, I have to still hang out with you. And you're friends with Summer so it's not like she'd kick you out of our life."

"'Our life.' Like, one. Dude."

Seth laughed, rolling back over. "Good night, Ryan."

"Night, Seth."

Marissa opened the door, sticking her head in to see the two girls holding each other on the floor. "What is this, a funeral? Jennifer, do you realize that you are sitting on the almost Mrs. Seth Cohen?"

Jenn smiled as Summer rocked her slightly. Marissa mimicking it as she fell onto her butt across from Summer.

"So, ladies, are we ready to gossip?"

Jenn giggled, rolling off of Summer's lap onto her elbows. Summer tousled her hair slightly and crossed her legs. "Ah yes. Shall we start with Miss Jenn?"

"What?"

"Well, we did it before Riss's wedding, so we decided to make it a tradition. We should get Kirsten in on this too, though."

Marissa opened the door and stuck her head out. "Mrs. _Cohen_!"

"What is this?" Jenn asked.

"We go around in a circle and ask her questions about boys. In general. First crushes, first dreams. It's a mock bachelorette party."

"But I thought you had a bachelorette party, Aunt Marissa."

"Well, yeah. But we did this the night before my wedding."

Summer jumped up at the knock at the door, smiling at Kirsten in her sweats on the other side. Kirsten smiled back.

"What's going on? Do I get to participate in the wild truth or dare? The _most_ talked about aspect of pre-Mrs. Harren?"

Marissa nodded, moving to scoot over to make room for Kirsten in the circle. Kirsten held up her hand.

"Marissa, you're going to have a baby. I think I can be the one to move."

"Right." Marissa grinned.

"Riss! You're going to have a baby."

Marissa nodded, giggling as she asked, "So who's first?" She grabbed a bottle of wine and seltzer water from the bag behind her.

"Miss Jenn. I happen to remember a certain young gentleman a few months ago." Summer inched closer into the circle. "Any progress made?"

Jenn blushed. "He gave me chocolate. For Halloween. Only me."

The three women cooed in appropriate delight. Jenn just laughed.

"Miss Jenn," Marissa started. "You must describe this young man. I'm seeing... dark hair. Blue eyes."

"Green eyes. And he needs a haircut, but I like it."

Kirsten pulled her hair back into a ponytail. "Miss Jenn, if you were to marry this young man, what would your first born be named?"

Jenn giggled, covering her mouth, and then pausing to think. "Um... Jonathan. Jonathan Jacob Alton. Do I get to ask now?"

"Yes, ma'am. And you get to decide who goes next."

"_Miss Summer_," Jenn laughed, causing the three ladies to join her. "When did you get your first kiss?"

"Well. I was fourteen, and... he actually lived out of town, just the town over. But I got to see him at these parties at my friend's, who knew _everyone_. And we met and we talked for more than six months before we got to see each other again. _And_... I decided I should kiss him. So... I did. Not at the party though. We ditched and actually kissed on the side of the road. Not the most romantic thing, but I used to think it was." Summer shrugged, wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Okay, Sum," Marissa let her arms relax. "What really did happen with Sean at Kathleen's ninth grade graduation party?"

Seth fingered the shiny, pink tie, then looked at Ryan.

"Are you sure about all this?"

"All what?" Ryan buttoned his cufflink and stood next to Seth in the floor length mirror.

"What if we're doing this wrong?"

"Doing what?"

"Do you think she would care if I didn't wear the tie?"

"Seth, why wouldn't you..."

"I just think that maybe this is all wrong. Or maybe it's right. Maybe it's perfect. Maybe I'm just driving myself insane. Why the hell did you have to ask me all those questions last night?"

"Are you getting nervous?"

"No, Ryan, I just thought the wet look was in." Seth wiped his forehead roughly with the back of his hand.

"What about all that stuff how it's Summer?"

"I know. But what if I mess it up?"

"How would you mess it up?"

"Well, I seem to be pretty goddamn talented at it."

"Seth, everything's going to be fine."

Summer spun around from her reflection. "What if everything messes up?"

"Like what?" Marissa placed her veil on top of Summer's dark curls and straightened out the gauze.

"What if he really was just humoring me this whole time?"

"Summer, he loves you."

"But what if it isn't enough? Oh my god, what if he runs?"

"Summer, tell me _why_ would he run?"

"He did it before. Brittany. You don't see them married to this day do you? Oh my god, what if she looked prettier than I do?" Summer spun back around to stare at herself.

"No chance. You're so gorge..."

"He ran away from me once before two. So that's twice. Maybe it's something he does. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's all women. Shit, Marissa, what if he's gay?"

Marissa nodded solemnly. "You're right. I'll go ask him." She turned around but Summer yanked her back.

"You can't ask him that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's ridiculous."

Marissa raised her eyebrows. Summer nodded.

"Right. It's ridiculous. And I look fine. Right?"

"Summer, just do this. If you ask any more questions, you're going to think more, and you guys have thought enough for the rest of your life."

"Life?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Like one."

Seth lay his steady hand over Summer's. She felt him curl his fingers around hers and she smiled.

"Ryan said you were ready to faint."

"Ryan's overdramatic. Did you see her?"

"Yeah for like a second. She's really pretty."

"She always was. Was she near Jenn?"

"No. They're saving it."

"Oh. That's good, because I think Jenn would be better with everyone..."

"Seth."

"Yeah?"

Summer leaned over and whispered in his ear. "We're married."

"That's the rumor." He smiled into her cheek, kissing it with heavy lips.

She scooted in closer, nestling her forehead into the warmth of his neck. His fingers were stroking hers, gently rubbing each finger individually, then threading their two hands together. Like one.

_The whole 'one' thing is a shoutout to the fabulous Miss TallyMcKee who taught the world how to write O.C. fanfiction. Thank you so much for caring so much about this story, because I really do. And I'm sorry this took so long, like... really long. School's being a bitch, and then there's this guy... and he's been taking up a bit of time. And then this other one... but that's a long story. But I really wanted to finish this, because of all the time I have invested into it. Undeniable is still coming for those of y'all wondering. And yes, I lied about this one. This isn't the end. It didn't make sense to wrap everything up due to emotional content. The epilogue is coming...I'll just make it the last chapter here, so keep your eyes open for that. I hope to be tying up all those loose ends that I've left for so long. I'm sorry about the time again, it's just The O.C. is kind of sucking this season. Please leave a little review, because they're why I keep going. Believe me; this would've taken five more years without you guys._


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